Paris Hilton: Corey, I need you.
Corey Haim(Paris Hiltons new butler); I'm yours.
Paris Hilton: Banish yourself with a torch, large sack and rubber soled shoes; meanwhile I need a furrier, oh, and I know just where to find him, a-ha ha. Since I can’t get the puppies I plan to grow out my cooch hair until it is long enough to make a coat. It will certainly be just as spotted with beauty marks.
Corey Haim: (under his breath) Herpes you mean you dumb twat.
Paris Hilton: What did you say you silly little boy. Do I have to send you back to Rehab?
Corey Haim: Oh no, no, no. But I think it will take a long time for you to grow enough cooch hair to make a coat. You aren’t hairy enough madam.
Paris Hilton: True. Get Sheryl Crow on the phone. We can use her hair. Especially the armpit hair, she’s been growing that for the last twenty years. That should be enough for a coat. Maybe even a rug.
(101 Spots on Her Cooch, or Herpes if you want to get Technical, 2008)
Michaleen Flynn: No patty-fingers, if you please. The proprieties at all times. Hold on to your hats
Popping popcorn and hoping when we come back after intermission Paris H. is shooting up anabolic steroid in order grow a beard of one's own.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Paris is rich enough and, eh, cultured enough to have a disease named after her.
ReplyDelete