So when the twins and I got home from the roller derby I noticed that the message light was on the machine for my private line. Now not many people have that number and I wanted to check it out. But I had to wait until the girls went to bed before I checked it because you never know who it might be. I mean if Gorilla Monsoon or Chief Jay Strongbow were calling who knows what they might say you know. Especially since my sweet Gorilla has passed away and all but you know that Nancy Reagan has all these connections so you never know what she might cook up.
Well after a couple of six packs and a few spliffs the twins started yawning and they went to bed. Now who could it be but Hillary? She was going to be in Houston on the weekend and she wanted to meet up. You see we had important First Lady Underpants business.
Now as I have told you the Traveling First Ladies Underpants is handed down from First Lady to First Lady ever since the days of that raddled old whore Dolly Madison. Not every first lady was deemed worthy of course, Mary Hoover wouldn’t let Eleanor Roosevelt get her sticky hands on them or they would have stolen by that Hitchcock bitch that had her fingers in everything Eleanor did. So to speak. And Betty Ford refused to give it over to Roslyn Carter because she probably would have made it into a quilt or some such other foolishness.
And the First Ladies Traveling Underpants has been an important talisman throughout American History more for the tragedy that occurred when the First Lady forgets to put them on. Mary Todd Lincoln went mad because she neglected to wear them that night at Fords Theatre and Lucretia Garfield was devastated when she didn’t wear them to cover her second vestigial vagina and her husband was assassinated by a disappointed orifice seeker. So it is vital that a First Lady has access to these magical Underpants to protect her man and the nation.
Now at first Hillary and I both agreed that we should wait to see if Michelle was worthy. She seemed very arrogant and angry from afar and of course Hillary had a few dustups with the Obama’s on the campaign trail. So we agreed to wait for the first one hundred days to go by before we made any decisions. I guess that is what this meeting is all about.
Well I will be going in to see her this weekend in Houston. I think I am in favor of passing them on but I do want to get her input. But most of all we have to sure of one thing. We don’t want Michelle to tell Barry about them. I am afraid he might want to put them on himself. And we can’t let that happen. The last time a President did that was James Buchanan and we ended up with the Civil War.
Well after a couple of six packs and a few spliffs the twins started yawning and they went to bed. Now who could it be but Hillary? She was going to be in Houston on the weekend and she wanted to meet up. You see we had important First Lady Underpants business.
Now as I have told you the Traveling First Ladies Underpants is handed down from First Lady to First Lady ever since the days of that raddled old whore Dolly Madison. Not every first lady was deemed worthy of course, Mary Hoover wouldn’t let Eleanor Roosevelt get her sticky hands on them or they would have stolen by that Hitchcock bitch that had her fingers in everything Eleanor did. So to speak. And Betty Ford refused to give it over to Roslyn Carter because she probably would have made it into a quilt or some such other foolishness.
And the First Ladies Traveling Underpants has been an important talisman throughout American History more for the tragedy that occurred when the First Lady forgets to put them on. Mary Todd Lincoln went mad because she neglected to wear them that night at Fords Theatre and Lucretia Garfield was devastated when she didn’t wear them to cover her second vestigial vagina and her husband was assassinated by a disappointed orifice seeker. So it is vital that a First Lady has access to these magical Underpants to protect her man and the nation.
Now at first Hillary and I both agreed that we should wait to see if Michelle was worthy. She seemed very arrogant and angry from afar and of course Hillary had a few dustups with the Obama’s on the campaign trail. So we agreed to wait for the first one hundred days to go by before we made any decisions. I guess that is what this meeting is all about.
Well I will be going in to see her this weekend in Houston. I think I am in favor of passing them on but I do want to get her input. But most of all we have to sure of one thing. We don’t want Michelle to tell Barry about them. I am afraid he might want to put them on himself. And we can’t let that happen. The last time a President did that was James Buchanan and we ended up with the Civil War.
We just can’t take that chance
3 comments:
I think Laura should just give the knickers back to the Hill. It's a matter of time before the right number of "accidents" usher in the era of President Hillary Rodham Clinton.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she presents Bill with the undies and tells him he has to wear them if he knows what's good for him. heh.
Hold onto the panties, Laura. Don't give them to the huge black Michelle person, not even, God help us all, if she's in there for 8 years. Its just not right. On several levels. Not least of which is the camel toe distention question. Unfit! Those panties will be unfit for all post-Michelle first ladies. The future, Mister Geddes! The future.
I'm on the edge of my seat.
And not in the usual way panties can do that.
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