Hey it's Lent and it is time to give up one of our favorite vices to atone for all the stuff we did during the year. So I have a short list of some of my favorite vices and I want you to vote for your favorite. They are
Wine
Beer
Cigars
Ice Cream
Gambling
Hey I am a simple guy with simple vices. Nothing too outre in the bunch. So let me know what is your favortie vice of the short list.
Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteLooks like a lot of Gluttony. But not so much Wrath, Avarice, Sloth, Lust, Pride or Envy.
Well Troop,
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say gamblebeeercream would my favorite. Only since you didn't have Farrah listed as a choice.
Looks like a list of virtues, to me . . .
ReplyDeleteGambling is the only one I consider a vice. I'm not crazy for it, wine, beer, or cigars, so I guess I'll go with ice cream.
ReplyDeleteMy problem with ice cream is that, once I start, I can't stop. I'd assume that is most folks' problem. Butter Pecan in particular.
ReplyDeleteHow can wine be a vice? Don't they serve it in church anymore?
ReplyDeleteBut I guess the altar boys who snuck in during recess and drank a whole bottle in the sacistry kinda made it a vice, didn't they?
Beer for me as a vice.
I actually gave up good beer for Lent.
I'm only drinking domestic, national brews.
It is a Penance after all, not a death sentance!
I own an ice cream shop. I have to vote ice cream. Of course, any business is a gamble, so it's a close second.
ReplyDeleteEmmerts is my favorite vise.
ReplyDeleteWhat I gave up for Lent isn't on that list.
ReplyDeleteI did give up the cigars quite a while ago, so that doesn't count. And I don't gamble, so that doesn't count.
Wine and ice cream, those I enjoy. Even during Lent, because I didn't give them up.
And that stuff that I did give up----I'm telling you, I'd kill for some of it right now. But I promised, so nocandoo.
You don't have a box for all of the above. You left out sex.
ReplyDeleteShe was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice
ReplyDeleteShe was fair, she was sweet seventeen
He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice
He was base, he was bad, he was mean
He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat
To view his collection of stamps
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat
The wine, his cigar and the lamps....
Have some madeira, m'dear
You really have nothing to fear
I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right
You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night
Have some madeira, m'dear
It's really much nicer than beer
I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout
And port is a wine I can well do without
It's simply a case of chacun à son goût.
Have some madeira, m'dear
You can guess which one I voted for.
It's worth finishing:
ReplyDeleteUnaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass
And the fate of the maiden who topes
She lowered her standards by raising her glass
Her courage, her eyes and his hopes.
She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did
He promptly refilled it again,
And he said as he secretly carved one more notch
On the butt of his gold-headed cane:
Have some madeira, m'dear, I've got a small cask of it here
And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep
Do finish it up, it will help you to sleep
Have some madeira, m'dear, it's really an excellent year
Now if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say yes
The evil gin does would be hard to assess
Besides it's inclined to affect me prowess
Have some madeira, m'dear
Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said
With her antepenultimate breath
"Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red
Be prepared for a fate worse than death"
She let go her glass with a shrill little cry
Crash! tinkle! it fell to the floor
When he asked, "What in Heaven?" she made no reply
Up her mind, and a dash for the door
Have some madeira, m'dear, rang out down the hall loud and clear
A tremulous cry that was filled with despair
As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air
Have some madeira, m'dear, the words seemed to ring in her ear
Until the next morning, she woke up in bed
With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head
And a beard in her ear 'ole that tickled and said
Have some madeira, m'dear
I see where Susan Sarandon was vomited upon and several guys were right there to help wipe her down. Lots of potential for polls in that scenario.
ReplyDeleteWhat celebrity would you most like to vomit on?
What celebrity would you be most willing to wipe a stranger's vomit off of?
What celebrity is most likely to induce vomiting?
I'm sure there's others.
I gave up grain alcohols—beer, spirits, and so on.
ReplyDeleteIs gin made from grain? I thought it was made from tubers.
ReplyDeleteNo reason to give up on gin.
That's great, John!
ReplyDeleteAnother fine poem courtesy Mr. Anonymous.
ricpic - I should have made in non-anomymous: Flanders and Swann (ca 1950s), masters of complex rhymes (and dirty minds).
ReplyDeleteWaitaminnit. I just re-read this: I own an ice cream shop.
ReplyDeleteUh, we now have an ice cream shop owner among us. I say, welcome, dear new friend. Welcome and come right in. Yes, come in and get comfortable.
Is the davenport comfortable? a pillow perhaps, or an ottoman for your feet?
*did you bring samples?*
And the room temperature, is it to your liking? Tea? Bourbon? Gin?
*I've read that chocolate is good for the heart*
How may we otherwise make you feel at home here, dear new friend?
El Pollo Real, I never liked the stuff!
ReplyDeleteRum...Ron Zacapa Rum...please.
ReplyDeleteEl Pollo Real, I never liked the stuff!
ReplyDeleteUnderstood Simon!
Unrelated, but I don't like brandy even though being from Wisconsin, I'm supposed to. Problem is I liked it once a little too much as teen and haven't had a taste for it since.
Newcastle Blue Star is beer, it is a food group.
ReplyDelete