Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Do you know why Santa had to go to the sex therapist?


He only comes once a year. And that's down a chimney.

I got eight fuckin Santa Clauses all over the fuckin house. They have mink coats and fancy decorations and kinds of crazy shit. The wife really loves Christmas. This year we are having a party which we haven't done the last few years. So I have to do all the cooking which I love. It will be all the greatest hits. Roast Pork. Stuffed mushrooms. Tortolini's in cream sauce with peas and pancetta. Caprase salad. Bracoiles. Meatballs. Sauaages with roast potatoes. It is a lot of work.

But not as much work as putting up all those fuckin Santa's and candles and wreaths and garland and every other freakin thing. The only thing that saves me is the wife knows how much I hate it so she has the girls from the store come over to help her decorate. I just have to lug it down from the closet.

And sit on my chair and nurse an eggnog.

Merry Christmas. Bah.
at

8 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 7, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    Oh pretty! Take more pics, I want to see your house, I love your wife's style.

    I'm already crying and drooling over all the carb rich food I can't eat this Christmas. Bah indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fred4PresDecember 7, 2011 at 10:25 PM

    I do sea food for Christmas Eve. Usually 12 courses (for the 12 apostles). I invite people over. We drink wine and cocktails. Eggnog. Punch. I am not super strict (I serve cheese) but no meat (poultry, beef, pork) until after midnight (well later than that because we usually go to Midnight Mass).

    ReplyDelete
  3. MamaMDecember 7, 2011 at 11:04 PM

    Craving rich
    Creamy milk
    Fore and Hind
    The Holidays?

    Nurse an eggnog

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ruth Anne AdamsDecember 7, 2011 at 11:36 PM

    Why no prosciutto balls? Not Christmasy enough?

    ReplyDelete
  5. chickelitDecember 7, 2011 at 11:40 PM

    When out on the blog there arose such a mutter,
    I sprang from the bed to see what was the clutter.
    Away to the Windows I flew like a flash,
    Tore open the comments and threw up on the cache.

    ReplyDelete
  6. chickelitDecember 7, 2011 at 11:42 PM

    Ballsy RAA, just ballsy

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ruth Anne AdamsDecember 7, 2011 at 11:53 PM

    Does a man with one ball have two strikes against him?

    Hitler only had one ball. Whistle the Col. Bogey March to this:

    Hitler, he only had one ball
    Göring had two but very small
    Himmler, had something sim'lar
    And only Goeballs had no-balls at all.

    Try the veal!

    ReplyDelete
  8. chickelitDecember 8, 2011 at 12:12 AM

    Does a man with one ball have two strikes against him?

    Dunno, Donny. Alls I know is that two strikes beat a spare.

    ReplyDelete