Thursday, December 29, 2011

Marilyn's Diary

The Munsters weren't much for bathing. Grandpa always was afraid of the water. So he hadn't taken a shower for about 578 years. He always smelled vaguely of rosewater and Mexican busboys. Aunt Lily was also a vampire so she didn't perspire all that much. She didn't like to be in the water or even the feel of soap on her skin. She would just squirt herself with perfume to cover the smell of the undead. Unfortunately she preferred "Charlie" which really smelled bad. But it made it easy for me to shop for her for Christmas. And of course that little pervert Eddie always smelled of pee.

The only other Munster who liked the water and washing up was Uncle Herman. Well at least he liked washing up with me. I remember the first time he came into the bathroom when I was taking a bath. I was a little scared but I covered myself with bubbles. He reassured me and told me that I shouldn't be frightened. He offered to help me wash my back. He slowly and sensuously rubbed a sponge up and down my back. Starting from my shoulders.....then down my back ....past my shoulder blades.. down over my hips until he got to the slope of my buttocks.....where he tickled me a little as he slipped the sponge into the top of my back crack.....slowly moving it up and down .....until he reached down under the water and started rubbing my sopping wet vagi......errr.....he was very thorough.

I loved bath time with Uncle Herman. He helped my keep clean. It was a shame that we could never come clean. Well at least about our relationship.

You know what I mean?

35 comments:

  1. He always smelled vaguely of rosewater and Mexican busboys.

    Was that line inspired by EBL's Munsters/baseball clip?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have done some Mexican busboys.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is that Patsy from Absolutely Fab?

    Fuckin loved that show.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why do I feel so fucking dirty reading about a bath?

    Trooper, you will need to say 3 perfect Acts of Contrition to be absolved of this pornographic mortal sin...3!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. *folds arms and taps foot*

    Mistletoe? I haven't seen any. And tomorrow is New Year's Eve! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Darcy, oh hell, you're so cute and sweet, I'll be the first one to give ya a kiss, on the cheek of course:).

    ReplyDelete
  7. I thought you nurses got the lesbo curiousity out of your system in nursing school.

    I have never been kissed under a mistletoe..I don't even remember ever seeing mistletoe. I've thought for several years that's quite odd.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Spinelli: Allie isn't a nurse-she's a Krankenschwester-a "sick sister." So she has an excuse (NTTARWT) and especially since Darcy is involved. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mistletoe grows in trees in my neighborhood. Silly me - I was giving a nice redhead a tour of my 'hood today, we discussed which trees were which and I totally forgot about the mistletoe. REDHEAD!!! What was I thinking? Damn...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I need a mistletoe tree, Sixty! lol

    (And I'm sorry about the missed opportunity ;-) )

    ReplyDelete
  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks, Darce, so am I.

    But on the bright side she might visit again some day!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh heck yeah, did I mention that she is a redhead?

    ReplyDelete
  14. All you suckahs missed Darcy's Christmas mistletoe opportunity.

    *smug*

    ReplyDelete
  15. You two crack me up. :)

    Happy New Year to two of my bestest Althouse pals!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Happy new year, backatcha, babe.

    Hope all your wishes come true this year!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I have never been kissed under a mistletoe

    I have, many times. Including at my wedding (anniversary coming up in a few days). That was the hottest one.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Easier for girls to get kissed under the mistletoe, I think, r.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete