Elsie the Cow never thought that she would end up the way she did. She was discovered as a young nubile calf one weekend at the state fair when her owner had dressed her in a tight sweater at the 4H club back in Kansas. This fast talking agent from New York saw her potential and got her to move to New York. She entered the Miss Reingold competition and even tried to get elected Miss Subways of 1962 but it was not to be. It was different in the sixties. They didn't pick women of color or ones that chewed the cud. They weren't prejudiced exactly but they were products of their time. They just didn't think the public would find them attractive if they weren't blond girl next door types.
Elise wouldn't give up. She did lots of commercials, magazine covers and print ads. She did a spread in the Farmers Almanac. And she spread them for Playcow. But her big break was strangely enough when the inquiring photographer from the Daily News took a photo of her in her itty bitty string bikini when she was out at Coney Island. A horndog advertising executive named hdhouse saw her and thought she would be perfect for his new ad campaign.
So Elsie was hired to be the new face of "Bordens."
(Got Milk, The E True Hollywood of Elsie the Cow)
17 comments:
They didn't pick women of color...
She looks pretty moolatte to me.
Well written.
I am working with all these very young Clouds people and they are very very young and making ridiculous amounts of money.
They certainly are enjoying a good life while the rest of the country is in the shit hole.
Cow tits.
All these cow tit postings make me want to feel up a cow when I get back to Wisconsin for the holidays.
I might even rub one against my face.
I am working with all these very young Clouds people and they are very very young and making ridiculous amounts of money.
...and probably paying ridiculously high taxes in Taxachusetts.
With enough hair bleach everyone can be a blond. My hair has been almost every color under the sun, now that I'm getting enough white hair mixed in with my real color Its much less work being blond.
Some things about getting older are actually a plus. Being post menopausal is most definitely a good thing. They say as women and men age they get along much better because hormonally they are much more similar.
Chickelit: Believe me, as someone who has had to recently pay taxes to both Massachusetts and California, Massachusetts isn't bad. We have a flat income tax of 5.3%, and tax capital gains at 12%. But there are many exemptions that make the effective capital gains rate rather lower. The income tax rate is only 0.5% above Utah, for example.
Massachusetts has a 6.25% sales tax with exemptions for food and prescription medications, and no local add-ons, so, again, it's lower than California.
Real estate taxes are, again, quite moderate for built-up coastal states. I pay far less than my mother-in-law in Oakland, and live in a very nice, historic town with great schools and excellent services, which is a bit more than you can say for Oakland.
Massachusetts is the land of freedom, opportunity and low taxes compared to California.
And we also opposed the Mexican War to start with, so there!
@ Titus
What are 'young Clouds people'?
They are the computer geeks with the new Clouds softwear.
And here I always thought Borden's milk was a Wisconsin company - Elsie was always on the side of ou milkman's truck, back in the '60's.
I do enjoy Titus' comments--He provides a window into a segment of the population I would probably never know, being the old fart that I am. And I particularly liked Titus' comments on the Penn State affair. Sometimes being a bit outrageous is a really good thing. Keep up the good work, Titus.
I do enjoy Titus' comments--He provides a window into a segment of the population I would probably never know, being the old fart that I am. And I particularly liked Titus' comments on the Penn State affair. Sometimes being a bit outrageous is a really good thing. Keep up the good work, Titus.
They are the computer geeks with the new Clouds softwear.
Ah...thanks. I should have known.
I was wondering if Titus had gone all Indigo Child or something on us. We would have had to alert Crack.
"Clouds softwear" ??
See what being in the clothing business does to you!
Hey they make' nice footie pajamas.
And for Titus they have the ones with the trap door in the back. Just sayn'
@Tim: I stand corrected.
Mass taxes are actually right in the middle of the country.
I mean I believe taxes for Mass are like 25th or 26th out of the 50 states.
The Taxachusetts thing is kind of not correct. It may have been some time but it is not now.
I believe Montana and Wisconsin even have higher taxes.
Titus is a profoundly dishonest commenter. His comments about child molestation are perfect examples of his inability to be honest about his own history.
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