Sunday, June 17, 2012

I have too many fuckin' cookies to make!


Sorry that I have been missing in action but the tidal wave of orders we got because of the show is keeping me working day and night.

We stayed to five in the morning yesterday just boxing up orders.

I need to talk to or be in contact with almost everyone who buys or posts on our facebook or twitters or whatever because this is what we are getting for having a TV show. So I have to do it while the window is there.

Of course people are pissed at me. Marilyn Munster mailed me a dead bat. The Devil can't believe I am dissing him with Rodney King today. And Laura Bush has two new diaries that she can't wait to post. But it all has to wait.

Tomorrow Lisa is appearing on ABC radio and doing a couple of interviews so we have to do what we can to pump it up before the final two episodes.

I will be back soon.

220 comments:

  1. Bake your bread while the oven is hot. Or something.

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  2. Biscuits in the oven
    Gonna watch 'em rise
    Right before
    Our very eyes.

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  3. This is one of those good problems to have.

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  4. I thought your elves would be more along the lines of the shoemaker variety. It'd be nice if they showed up one night, eh?

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  5. I remember wanting to believe in elves and fairies. And windbag, I loved that old cartoon where the elves did all the old shoemaker's work for him. Beautiful.

    But like Chip says, it's a good problem to have. So glad all is well and that you're just busy becoming a tycoon. :)

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  6. OH! I have a killer promotional idea for you. Instead of making a traditional fortune cookie, make a TY cookie that instead of a piece of paper with words of wisdom or a vague prophecy inside, insert a dollar bill! How cool would that be.

    I'd like about a dozen.

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  7. ChipS, I agree. However, when I was working 80 hours a week and people said that to me I knew they were right, but it was still hard to see. Trooper needs to look upon this as tax season x 10 and get some crystal meth.

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  8. While you cannot be replaced, we can jump in and do stuff to fill the dead time till you can come back. As we cows like to say, you have to cut hay when the sun is shining.

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  9. Make hay while the sun shines.

    Haymakers.

    Boilermakers will have to wait.

    And the Fighting Irish - that's redundant.

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  10. Here's a little somethin' to lighten Trooper's load. In fact, it should work wonders for everyone here except the LoTY.

    21 animated GIFs of Kate Upton.

    (possibly NSFW)

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  11. Glad to hear you are so busy making and counting all that money. Money is good! Marilyn Munster sent you a dead bat? Did it still have a head?

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  12. Wait, wait, WAIT!!

    I've been reliably informed by my betters that becoming a tycoon involves exploiting the masses!

    But here you are working your ass off!

    Tycooning: You're doing it wrong.

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  13. Strike while the iron is hot, like every one else is saying. Also, happy customers will be return customers, so it makes sense to take good care of them--no matter what happens with the show.

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  14. Being busy and making money are always good things.

    Keep working Mary!

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  15. Good evening from the cabin! *swats mosquito the size of a canned ham*

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  16. Kate Upton is God!









    Uh....okay....I'm coming out of it now...she's not God...
    She's a....a substitute for God.

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  17. Some friends of mine are coming in to visit Boston this weekend and there are absolutely no hotel rooms available in the city or a 30 mile distance.

    What is up with that?

    Also, hotels cost like $500-700 a night.

    That's bullshit.

    Boston is rated the second most expensive city to visit in the country.

    I guess being fab costs, huh?

    tits.

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  18. EBL I was distracted by the link of the most unattractive conservative lesbian who plays the bassoon.

    tits.

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  19. Hey Titus, I just checked Motel 6 in Boston (50 mile radius) and there are rooms available. Don't turn your nose up like that. Perfectly decent place to put your head down to sleep. Rooms in the $90 range. There are 10 Motel 6's in the Boston region.

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  20. Ricpic, I appreciate your help but 50 miles from Boston is Worcester or Maine or New Hampshire or Rhode Island and 2 hour $100 cab ride.

    Too fucking far.

    And my friends, not me, want to stay in a hotel, not a motel.

    Thank you though.

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  21. Those motels are within, as in inside, a 50 mile radius. But if the answer's no it's no.

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  22. I'm embarrassed at how long I'd heard of the Motel 6 chain before I realized the significance of its name.

    I was a little bit quicker on the uptake in the case of Super 8.

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  23. Okay, I'll bite. What's the significance of the 6...and the 8. You can use euphemisms.

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  24. Let the "r" in "Super" slide onto the "8" and it becomes the "SuperRate" motel.

    The other one is just a convenient joint for some quick motel sex.

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  25. Titus: The Omni is about $250 a night. The Taj is about $500. But given your friends are probably single and don't have kids, fuck it, they can splurge.

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  26. Titus I just checked on Priceline and there are some rooms available. Not super margins, but at $250 not too bad. You should jump on them.

    I missed the bassoon comment. Kate Upton seems like your type of gal. Are you suggesting they are not natural (perhaps they are not).

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  27. Bela Fleck might as well be wearing a leather jacket and water skis. His music has been much sound and fury signifying nothing for way too long. Aimless noodling, now with synthesizers! I actually wasted money to see him in concert once - worst concert ever. But if that's the kind of empty, meaning-free music that floats your boat, more power to you.

    And, as a former bassoonist I would say that guy needs his double reed card revoked.

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  28. *waves at Michael at his cabin*

    Enjoy! (Don't get too sunburnt - you two nudies! lol)

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  29. *Waves back*

    Cloudy weather, plus black flies. Gah.

    Perhaps I'll use the spare time to post photos of my furniture.

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  30. LOL!!

    I am a little envious of the furniture. However, in the "what to save for?" category, forgive me, but new boobs would be way more fun than any furniture. Some of us hafta budget! ;-)

    So, I sorta promised myself I wouldn't bring that (those?) up again. Oop.

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  31. No probbo! Appreciate the update.

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  32. In an effort to change the topic, I was just reminded the other day of broccoli and cauliflower always being served with a nice Cheez Whiz sauce growing up.

    Wouldn't it be kind of funny to ask for Cheez Whiz at a nice restaurant? Could be just me. ;-) I promise I will do this and report back.

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  33. Watch Blake chime in with his Cali boy cheese snobbery! :P

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  34. I believe it's spelled "Cheez"™ because, you know, it's not freakin' cheese!!

    What? Too predictable?

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  35. If they misspell "cheese" cuz it ain't really cheese, what do we make of the fact that they spell "whiz" correctly?

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  36. LOL. It ain't easy bein' cheezeh.

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  37. If only we had a chemist among us, I'd ask how Cheez Whiz differs from Silly String.

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  38. Hehehe. Lemme guess - Cali boy as well? :)

    Cheez Whizzers rawk.

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  39. Which box wine goes best with CW?

    Or is this the wrong blog for that question!

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  40. That last comment was supposed to end in a "?"

    Darcy straightened it out.

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  41. Darcy - Order your veggies with Mornay sauce.

    It sounds better than saying "Avec sauce le Whiz, sil vous plait".

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  42. It calls for the good stuff. Which would be...what? Riunite? :)

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  43. Or if you're in Wisconsin, just yell at the cook "Plate of garden, swimming through the cheese factory!"

    Chilled Annie Green Springs on the side.

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  44. Avec Sauce le Whiz! Hahaha! MINE now. :P

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  45. Or not. Depending on the meaning.

    *runs away*

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  46. Wow again! Hurried home today in time to catch the final two episodes. The finale was amazing. Whatever the scripted set-up, the alternate reality, in which women of substance see themselves differently as a result of Lisa's dreams and effort keeps coming through!

    So much good stuff in the finale. I wanted to remember the lines. The celebration at the end captured the essence, energy, and impact.

    Here's to Big Dreams! (And the energy, focus, and endurance needed to see them become even more real)

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  47. The finale?? You mean it's over??

    Maybe now Discovery will put the full episodes online for the rest of us.

    I wonder when Season 2 will start shooting.

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  48. so we have to do what we can to pump it up before the final two episodes.

    Based on this and a previous mention of 8 shows, I got the impression this was it for the season. Plus, the 2nd show seemed like the wrap, ending with a party celebrating 5 years of Lee Lee's Valise with the customers, family and friends who've supported the dream.

    Ending, beginning, or both, it was a great way to pull everything together and open the door for MORE.

    What came through clearly in the final scenes, were the results of the choices made by those who cared (including Jim) to stand by, support and enter into the reality of combining vision and lived experience into something others experience as as goodness.

    For those in tit mode...it was most definitely uplifting!

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  49. Thanks for the quickie review, MamaM.

    Sounds like they finished with a flourish.

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  50. Yes. Great word. More florish than ruffles!

    From Latin: to Bloom!

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  51. The TY-Lisa online meet up was a revelation too, but no surprise upon reflection.

    Whatever additional magnetics were involved in sealing the deal, it makes sense the Word Smith would put his formidable tool to good use.

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  52. Back when Letterman was funny, he had Wolfgang Puck on the show. In the middle of cooking something, Dave asked him, "How's that taste with Cheez Whiz on it?"

    Cheez Whiz...when real food just won't do.

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  53. I can't remember ever eating Cheez Whiz. I've certainly never bought any.

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  54. When I lived with my parents, the only cheese we ever had in the frig, was colby and swiss.

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  55. Which box wine goes best with CW?

    Port. The cheaper the better!

    You can verify this at TOP.

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  56. Sixty doesn't like Bela. Oh well, people can take musical preferences way too seriously. I won't ask Sixty to attend the next Flecktones concert. Here's another Carolina son (Asheville) (Bela's grandfather, who gave him a banjo was from Asheville, too, if the rumors I've heard were accurate). Warren Haynes. I wish I had practiced more when I was younger. They look like they have a lot more fun at work than I do.

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  57. It's just fun to say though, ain't it? :)

    But seriously, I wouldn't buy it now, but I remember it being tasty on cooked veggies. My parents put it on veggies we didn't like very much. I used to spread it on celery sticks.

    I have never tried many of the other processed foods I grew up knowing existed,however, like Spam and that Deviled Ham stuff.

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  58. I don't eat it any more, but I've had more than my share of Spam. I used to go to work with a black lunch box with the little thermos full of black coffee held in the top with a stiff bent wire. Those were the days...

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  59. Allen - your Spam comment caused me to remember that I haven't had baloney in a very long time.

    It was a staple in my parent's house when I was grade-school age. Baloney on white bread sandwiches taken to school for lunch. Ring baloney cooked with sauerkraut some Sundays for dinner. And quarter-pound slices of deli baloney either fried or grilled. Served on rye bread with brown mustard and a slice of raw onion.

    Getting hungry thinking about it.

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  60. *Hoists chilled martini in celebration of National Martini Day*

    Since I'm at the cabin I'm drinking it out of a chipped coffee mug.

    Cheers, dear friends. And cheers Trooper and Lisa, wherever you are

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  61. Cheers to you, Michael. I eaten every kind of lunch meat that was ever produced. We also had ring balogna (baloney also works) with saukerkraut. Also, pig hocks with saukerkraut.

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  62. saukerkraut? Where did that come from?

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  63. Bela is a good banjo player. He has wandered into music he should have avoided - he is out of his depth. He has not the understanding to play jazz nor the ability to compose decent modern music. But he's a fine banjo player. I know I can never get back the hours I spent at his concert, but a refund of the ticket price would go a long way to making me forget my wasteful ways years ago.

    We were raised on organic vegetables we grew ourselves, spam, Cheez Whiz, Ritz crackers, lard, jellies and jams we put up from fruit we picked, spoiled meat from the Acme market, baloney, hotdogs, individually wrapped American cheese singles, a goose at Christmas, cereal full of mites, Coca Cola, Wonder bread, contaminated well water and neglect. We call those the good times.

    I remember the blizzard of '57 - my brother was stranded at a classmate's house and came home with a tale of an exotic new food - pizza. Next thing you know, we had our first pizza - Chef Boyardee - crust like a cracker, sauce like ketchup and some form of cheese sprinkled on the top. Wow - what amazing foodstuff is this "pizza"!

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  65. Thanks for reminding me - the area we lived in was full of Hessians - you could tell when you walked in the front door of the school that Thanksgiving or Christmas lunch was on the menu - the smell of sauerkraut hit you in the nose like a Sonny Liston punch. Never ate it then, still don't. I knew where it came from and avoided it.

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  66. Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral?

    I am not Spartacus!

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  67. Sixty - do you listen to Sam Bush?

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  68. SPQR!

    My kind of mandolin music, 300 years old and well vetted.

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  70. You Wisconsin guys are tough! Black flies, humidity, mosquitoes, sour Kraut, Spam...

    I'll stay out West and fight the Grizzly Bears.

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  71. Hey, sour Krauts can be found in many places.

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  72. Yes, we have some grumpy Germans in our Neighborhood too.

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  73. You want tough? I'll give you tough. We have people (Norwegians) where I live that love to eat lutefisk. The worst food ever served to mankind.

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  74. I haven't eaten bologna since I watched a show on how it's made. Watching how salami is made didn't bother me. I had an uncle who worked at a dairy and told us we'd never eat cottage cheese again if we watched it being made. I've never been curious about that since he told us that.

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  75. Lutefisk is good! Just cover it with cream sauce and a half-bottle of crushed red peppers.

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  76. I am such an idiot. Throughout this thread I thought Cheez Whiz was the stuff that came in a spray can. But--as I must be the last person at TY to find out--that stuff is "Easy Cheese."

    It may also be time for a shout-out to the beloved cheese product of my youth. The one with a name like a sultry dame in a Mickey Spillane novel. The one. The only.

    Velveeta.

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  77. The cheez does not stand alone. Veleeta* is Velva's partner in crime.

    With Handi-Snacks bringing their own special cheez pouch and red plastic spread stick to the game.

    *EBL-ism

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  78. Guy moved up north.

    Found that a family of skunks was living under his porch. Went to the local hardware store for advice. Put lutefisk under there - that'll drive 'em out, said the ever helpful clerk.

    Couple days later guy shows up at the hardware store saying "Yep, the lutefisk worked like a charm, the skunks are gone. Now what do I do to get rid of the Norwegians who replaced 'em?"

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  79. Velveeta.

    I'll have to amend my earlier comment: the only cheese we ever had in the frig, was colby and swiss. We also had Velveeta. Is Cheez Whiz the son of Velveeta?

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  80. Cheez Whiz is the ugly cousin of Velveeta, and Velveeta is not a looker. Cheez Whiz is 73% hillbilly whiz.

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  81. Cheeseheads, Many non cheesers won't know what ring bologna is. most of the US just has sliced bologna or unsliced loaves of bologna. The ring bologna is a coarser meat in a kielbasa type ring, only smaller.

    My brides fam makes a ring bologna salad. Grind it up in a meat grinder w/ pickles and mayo. When my bride makes if for her church salad luncheons all the construction workers devour it when they come in early for the luncheon. it's great on a hearty Jewish/German rye.

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  82. Who's the father of Limburger? Will anyone claim this stinkin' bastard?

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  83. Livermush. A Southern delicacy that will never pass my lips.

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  84. Nick - Yeah! We used to make that same thing and called it 'sandwich spread'. It was delicious and the memory of it makes me want to have some for lunch today!

    Allen - Limburger is actually pretty good, if you get it fresh and can get past the aroma. It's made in only one place in the US - near Monroe. I take an annual ride to Baumgartner's Tavern in downtown Monroe for a limburger sandwich.

    Fresh limburger is creamy, like a good brie, and tastes far better than you'd expect. I have a thin slice on fresh bread with a slice of onion.

    I brought some home one year, and that was a mistake. It got smellier as it aged, and after a few days I threw it out, along with nearly everything else in the fridge.

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  85. Michael, I've heard of that place. Maybe it is good fresh, but when I was a yout, I had a girlfriend who's father had some in the frig, and it ruined everything. I mean it stunk terribly bad and they threw everything out and cleaned the inside of the frig.

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  86. Allen - did you read the menu? A good salami sandwich for three-and-a-quarter!

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  87. I still like bologna (fried - yum) and we had ring bologna growing up. I love sauerkraut!

    My dad made mac and cheese (and ham) with Velveeta. And lol. Cheez Whiz is kind of hillbilly. *shrugs*

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  88. I discovered Baumgrtners Tavern years back when I first testified @ the Green County Courthouse across the street. I was told it was a good place for lunch and indeed it was. However, although many of the regulars were eating their limburger specialty sandwich, having to talk w/ people after lunch, I went more cautious.

    I've been in there several times since but still haven't tried it. That's tough for a dago to admit he didn't try something, but in the words of the Spirit song.."Ooooh that smell..can't you smell that smell, the smell gets around you[and all over you]. I love fontinella cheese but it's ~20% the smell of limburger.

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  89. Darcy, Fried bologna is a childhood confort food. It was one of David Letterman's favs. He made it on the show years back. I really liked Letterman a decade or so ago but he's just become a curmudgeon.

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  90. I rarely indulge the fried bologna craving, Nick, but when I do I fry it 'til it curls and then slap a slice of good old American "cheese" on it. It gets all melty in that little bowl created by the curled bologna. Then the sandwich almost doesn't need mayo - but why then again why not add that too? You've gone this far, I say to myself... :)

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  91. Maybe Spirit includes the band members who died in that plane crash.

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  92. Boo. Typos.

    Anybody got any fun 4th of July plans? I'll be at the lake. I would love to get my sisters and the "kids" to go canoeing this year.

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  93. Didn't Michael take Fredo "canoeing" on a lake? Just another reason to avoid fresh water, I tells ya! BAM!

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  94. Every 4th is spent at work. Typically the busiest day of the year. The Rec Park, where the fireworks are shot, is right across the street and we are mobbed with people from early evening on. One year some losers actually picked up my grease dumpster and moved it so they could park there. I still laugh at how nasty I know they got doing that.

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  95. Fresh limburger is creamy, like a good brie, and tastes far better than you'd expect. I have a thin slice on fresh bread with a slice of onion.

    Oh YUM. My favorite sandwich. Limburger on good chewy sour dough bread with sliced avocado, tomato, thin sliced red onions, some lettuce, mayo and stone ground dark mustard!!!

    Never had Cheez Whiz. Maybe Velveeta in a casserole, but I don't think so.


    Anybody got any fun 4th of July plans?


    We may go to a classic/hot rod show at a park on banks of the Sacramento River on the weekend after the actual 4th. Hot rods, beer and bbq rib competition cook off. Can't get any better than that. Unfortunately the 4th is in the middle of the week this year.

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  96. LOL, Sixty. Don't fear the lake! :)

    @windbag "Business is booming" is a good thing! Glad to hear it.

    I would try Limburger. I love cheese.
    And DBQ the show at the park does sound fun. I know the mid-week holiday is a pain, but I was given Thursday and Friday off this year as well, so I'm giddy just at the idea of so many days off of work.

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  97. If only our revolutionary forebears had had the foresight to write, In Congress, on the first Monday on or before July 4, 1776..., people wouldn't be so burdened by this inconvenient holiday.

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  98. Well that settles it - everyone meet at Darcy's place on the lake. Last one in the water is "Fredo"! I'll bet the ice is mostly melted by now, too!

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  99. Cold-water swimming has such a swell effect on women.

    Too bad about the gender asymmetry in this case.

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  100. Everyone is welcome! And the lake is not cold at all. (LOL, Chip) It's shallow for a big lake - 30 feet deep at the deepest areas.

    This is the lake from our cabins: http://twitpic.com/m1kxx

    This is without the dock because it was taken in the off season.

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  101. Wow.

    Any golf courses along the shore?

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  102. No golf courses along the shore, but Houghton Lake is close to many gorgeous courses. Garland is a short drive away and one of my faves.

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  103. **opens new tab, logs onto kayak**

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  104. **grabs adz, turns logs into kayaks**

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  105. **grabs kayaks, trades in for motorboat**

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  106. Darcy, are you going to fish?

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  107. MOTORBOAT AT DARCY'S PLACE! YAY!

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  108. We need a trolling motor now.

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  109. If it rains any more at my place, I'll be able to fish in the driveway.

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  110. Wait, my work here can be motorized?

    Send some of that rain down here - I just saw Tom Joad drive by with his mother on the top of his truck.

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  112. Allen - NINE inches of rain fell today in Duluth/Superior, with more on the way. Major flooding along the west shore of Lake Michigan. Most of the businesses and government buildings in both cities are closed and inaccessible.

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  113. Fourth of July? Small town parade probably, then the annual three hour cruise on the S.S. Minnow, the semi-affectionate name of my old, slow and small ski boat.

    It runs for about three hours before catastrophe and mechanical failure strikes. The shelf of ruined propellers in the garage are testament to the Minnow's ability to find submerged rocks.

    Convinced that nothing will ever again go wrong, I bought a new propeller and battery today.

    Damn thing will be on the bottom of the lake by 3:00PM July 4th, guaranteed.

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  114. Michael, I turned on a local (twin cities) TV station about an hour ago after I heard the siren going off in Star Prairie. The insert (weather) on the screen was showing about Duluth/Superior and the flooding. Once again, the sirens went off, and nothing, absolutely nothing bad happened here. It rained. We don't need the sirens going off when it rains. Sheesh!

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  115. Check out this story:

    On the Web: Read the Duluth News Tribune report
    Firefighters and police officers helped the Lake Superior Zoo staff track down animals, including two seals. Some backyard animals are still unaccounted for, according to Susan Wolniakowski, the zoo's director of guest services.


    It rained so hard there that some seals escaped. I wonder if they made it to Lake Superior, or they just hung around and did stupid seal tricks for onlookers.

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  116. What would be considered a backyard animal?

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  117. Wow. That's scary about the flooding.

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  118. You guys cracked me up with your kayaks and motorboats. Whatever method. Get here. :)

    And Allen, I might fish. I haven't fished since my dad died - he was really my fishing partner at the lake. I do love fishing, but I really don't want to go by myself. Who would believe my fish stories, with no witnesses?

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  119. And yes, I am a comma abuser. Please don't look, Sixty. ;-)

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  120. That's the beauty of fishing by yourself, you can tell some big fish story whoppers.

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  121. "I almost caught a seal!!! No, really! A seal!!"

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  122. I won't look at the commas if you promise not to look up "motorboating".

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  123. Hehehe!

    You just reminded me of one of my favorite Three Stooges episodes - the one where Moe falls into the water when they're ice fishing?

    "Hey! That fish looks like Moe!"

    =)

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  124. Would commas be a euphemism there?

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  125. Someday I'll have brilliant commas!

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  126. Do you have periods? No wait, that didn't come out right.

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  127. Darcy - Your commas are lovely, just like your truffles. ;-)

    Allen - the storm over Duluth is about to hit where I am outside of Eagle River. Nasty lookin' radar, and flood warnings have just been issued.

    I'm rounding up my seals.

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  128. Oooh...the NWS just issued a severe storm advisory. "Torrential rainfalls with 40 to 50 mile per hour winds."

    Time to go for a bicycle ride.

    Or drink.

    Not sure which.

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  129. I've been to Eagle River. Beautiful place. Stay safe. If the polar bear that also escaped from the zoo floats by, give up one of your seals. They're not worth it.

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  130. i bet she has some nice ampersands.

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  131. Oh! LOL But that seal looks terrified! I just read that they have all the animals back. Goo.

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  132. Uh. Good. Not Goo. I'm really laughing at that.

    But...thanks for the compliments on my punctuation!

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  133. I suppose that a tattoo could be considered an exclamation mark.

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  134. Rain falling like a cow peeing on a flat rock.

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  135. If they were Navy Seals I would say, "Thanks for killing bin Laden."

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  136. If they were Navy Polar Bears I would tell them to go bite Al Gore. Fair's fair, right?

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  137. Holy schnike, Haz, that is terrible. I have lived through some bad floods - that certainly looks like a bad one. Hope everyone is all right.

    Around here there are always yahoos that take a canoe out in the raging waters. They should use kayaks, as we have proven here today.

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  138. From what I understand, we got a little over 2 inches of rain here. Michael, we need a sitrep.

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  139. Michael Haz said...
    Rain falling like a cow peeing on a flat rock.

    June 20, 2012 7:57 PM



    Been there. Done that.

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  140. Allen - We got about three inches in four hours. Very, very heavy rain, followed by steady rain overnight.

    Haven't been out yet, but the lake level is up. Haven't checked the creek.

    Local radio has no reporters. Still doing the morning cattle prices, obituaries and radio-tradio.

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  141. I'm concerned that I may have a short *attention span*.

    Guys, do those medicines sold online that supposedly give you a longer *attention span* actually work?

    I want to be fully prepared to *pay attention* whenever my *attention* is needed.

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  143. Michael, I'm not sure about the attention span medicines, but I'm having my doubts about the pills that you can buy online claiming that they will give you a bigger penis. After 10 years of continued use, I'm not seeing any difference.

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  144. AllenS, Maybe you need glasses..magnifying glasses.

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  145. Thanks, Nick. I guess that's better than doubling the dose.

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  146. Allen - Check the instructions. You may have been swallowing the pills backwards.

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  147. Swallowing them? I thought that I was supposed to insert them up my... oh, wait a minute, you're right!

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  148. While TY and the elves tend to the tidal wave coming through the open window, the Cheeze, Whiz and Appreciative Audience thread continues to grow, with or without enhancing cream.

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  149. There better be a free cruise on Troop's yacht after all this 'sall I can say.

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  150. If not a cruise, at least a fete with Fancy Crackers, cans of Squirt Cheez, Bologna Squares, and Corn Chips with Velveeta/Rotel dip, along with something to wet the whistle.

    If fancy Crackers don't pull in the 60G, he can consider bringing some of his southern delicacies.

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  151. Hey Troop, just saw the episode where Jimmy Darmody sits down at the table with the guy who injured Pearl and told him the story about the German tangled in the barbed wire in the Big War. Jimmy definitely has the gift of gab, I must say.

    His new war hero buddy is pretty handy to have around, too.

    Those who know what I am talking about will know. I really don't want to include any spoilers here.

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  152. Fancy Crackers

    Squirt Cheez

    Bologna Squares

    Corn Chips

    Velveeta Rotel

    That sounds like a list of troll commenters at TOP. All union members, no doubt.

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  153. I served Velveeta Rotel. I knew Velveeta Rotel. Velveeta Rotel was a, um, friend of mine.

    A TOP Troll is no Velveeta Rotel.

    (I'll let MamaM riff on Corn Chips.)

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  154. Ok, so I had to look up Velveeta Rotel. I ended up at Wikipedia, and found this out:

    It was first made in 1918 by Swiss immigrant Emil Frey of the Monroe Cheese Company in Monroe, New York. In 1923, The Velveeta Cheese Company was incorporated as a separate company, and was sold to Kraft Foods in 1927. The product was advertised for its nutrition. According to Kraft's website, in the 1930s, Velveeta became the first cheese product to gain the American Medical Association's seal of approval.

    How about that, folks?

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  155. Not that Velveeta Rotel was first made in 1918, but Velveeta. Course you probably knew that.

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  156. She told me I was her first, but I'm not sure I believe her.

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  157. I had to go back to Wikipedia and learn more about Limburger cheese. Other than putting it on bread with a slice of onion the size of a Buick, there isn't anything else to do with it. Here's something probably nobody knows about:

    Limburger and its characteristic odor are a frequent butt of jokes and gags. In 2006, a study showing that the malaria mosquito (Anopheles gambiae) is attracted equally to the smell of Limburger and to the smell of human feet earned the Ig Nobel Prize in the area of biology.

    Who knew?

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  159. Excellent info, Allen.

    Whey to go.

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  160. I just got another excellent idea. Why not make Limburger time-released capsules for people who live in tropical areas of the world where malarial mosquitos are a problem. Toss them around the outside of the village and when the capsules release their smelly aroma, the mosquitos will die eating that stuff thinking the whole time they were chowing down on some stinky feet. It could happen.

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  161. When I lived in the Bay Area I used to read Herb Caen's column in the Chronicle (yeah, I know, either I was a commie then or the paper had not morphed into Pravda - thirty years have passed, who knows now) and he had a running gag about how backward Chico California was. How backward is Chico? It's so backward that Velveeta was sold in the gourmet food aisle.

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  162. Chico is also my least favorite Marx brother.

    Well, except for Zeppo. He doesn't really count, right?

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  163. Weaponized Limburger.

    Dr. Allen S, you are the Manhattan project of cheesedom.

    I understand our own Chickelit is bopping around Madison today.

    I expected a party.

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  164. Zeppo counts more than Gummo, and Chico was hysterical. Please review the viaduct sketch, recently posted here. His timing was perfect.

    He played the Italian immigrant, Groucho was originally the German immigrant, Harpo was the Irish immigrant, and Zeppo and Gummo - we kind of lost track of them.

    Groucho became a smart ass, Harpo became a mute, but Chico stayed true to his immigrant roots. Viva la Raza or something...

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  165. I looked up Gummo, and found this:

    When Richard J. Anobile asked Groucho in The Marx Bros. Scrapbook which brother to whom he was closest, Groucho replied. "Gummo. He's a nice man, and that's more than I can say for Zeppo."

    Of course, Zeppo might have been pissed off about Frank Sinatra fucking his wife.

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  166. I always thought Fritos smelled like human feet, or even dog feet.

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  167. I thought sure MamaM would be the first to post a corn chips comment.

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  168. Allie, find a different place to purchase your Fritos.

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  169. She told me I was her first, but I'm not sure I believe her.

    She was into homophone sex long before she met the Colonel, so she'll say anything for a rise.

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  170. She told me that I made her melt.

    Now my sweet memories have curdled.

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  171. From Velveeta Unwrapped:

    Simply put, Velveeta melts nicely. I don’t think anyone outside of Kraft knows exactly why, but several possibilities have been suggested. Among them, differences in protein structure, oil content, and a Velveeta block’s own desire to please.

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  172. As for riffing on Corn Chips, I'm still stuck figuring out the difference between euphemisms and dysphemisms.

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  173. I think "cow chip" is a euphemism, but I don't know whether "cornhole" is a euphemism or a dysphemism.

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