The Crack Emcee seems to off the rails these days. Everybody is on his case about his attacks on Mitt Romney and his views in general.
Crack has a tough position. He is all too often asked to speak for all black people which is not fair. He is unique and really can only speak to his experiences and life story. Which colors his view as a colored fella.
He is having trouble because he is getting caught in the web of his own arguments. He has one dead horse to beat and he never misses a chance to beat it. Sometimes Ritmo and I go off the same way. We get a full head of steam and because we like to argue and will always find a way to justify our positions. The only difference of course is that I am always right so pay attention.
I like to go back to bedrock principles. You can't discriminate against a Presidential candidate because of his religion. Period. It goes for Mormons. Catholics. Muslims like the current president. Even Scientologists.
You need a good reason not to vote for him. Like that he is black. Keep it real Yo.
He is unique and really can only speak to his experiences and life story.
ReplyDeleteToo bad he doesn't know that.
Hey we always fool ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI mean what do I know about what it means to live the Midwest or the Everglades.
I can just make assumptions and mock people.
It's the American way.
All due respect, Troop, I think you're missing something.
ReplyDeleteCrack isn't asked to speak for all black people, at least not that I've seen. He volunteers himself as the spokesman, then gets angry when people take him up on the offer.
But his newest thing is that he's mad at all of us (us he presumes to be whitey) because we tried to make him choose between "his people" and "our side" in the Trayvon Martin thing.
The other day he said...either at his place or in a comment that he understood we were punishing him for Trayvon.
That's not anything like how you are when you get going. It's not even like how Ritmo is--and Ritzy is perilously close to being fucking deranged, in a bad way.
Nope. Crackers has really gone off the rails. And he's a meadepuppet now. Bought and paid for.
Had some email back and forth with him in the past month. He was really nice.
Then he savaged me a couple of times at his blog, both in posts and chuckling with meade about me.
So fuck him and his psychotic bullshit.
Ice and Cody: Troop has a big uncontrollable heart when it comes to his love for other bloggers and writers and such. Now that his beats are are measured, it'll be interesting to see if anything changes.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Chick.
ReplyDeleteIt's one of his best things. Although that heart is pretty big for an awful lot of people.
If only people had LISTENED to Crack back in the day, they'd have DISCREDITED OPRAH and none of this shit would've happened.
ReplyDeleteTotally makes sense. Oprah the Prime Mover. Absolutely the cause of all rot, not a symptom of it.
Cross-posted from another comment thread:
ReplyDeleteIt took me a long time to realize it, but I've got a well-developed emotional mechanism for not noticing some things. (My wife figured it out soon after meeting me, I believe.) Dealing with my mother, it was often better to just not notice what an evil bitch she was. That's kind of carried over into the rest of my life. So I don't always realize when things are going south.
Thus I was rather late (as in extremely late) in realizing just how nasty Althouse & Meade were as operators. In that case ego probably also played a role, as they were both rather pleasant with me over time, even after comments got closed last summer. Blanket statements by Meade over at Lem's started putting me off, which led to more direct confrontation, and finally the blow-up over Palladian is what it took to break down that barrier to perception.
But on occasion it does also afford me some useful distance on things. I really do think Crack is getting worse. He's always harped on the cult thing, and the black thing, but now he just can't let it go. Hell, he keeps telling me that Romney was my boy last year, even though he and I were pretty much the only nominal conservatives that were forcefully anti-Romney over at Althouse, though we had different reasons.
And he's also striving very forcefully to assert how much smarter and more perceptive he is that others. It's really striking me as someone who is becoming more and more isolated (and this predates his back issues, I believe). Dude's flippin' out because he's in an isolation tank, probably of his own making. A classic depressive case.
I think I passed out while I was reading the comments because suddenly there was "Oprah"...and I didn't remember how she got there.
ReplyDeleteCrack wanted to discredit her?
Jealousy?
ChipS, I tried calling him on the Oprah thing, but why bother? It's completely fucking bass-ackwards, and who wants to fuck a fish, in the ack or elsewhere?
ReplyDeleteI admit, I supported Romney, in large part because I believed we needed to get Barry the fuck out of there and there wasn't any other choice. I live in a state where it's still close on election day, I had to vote Mitt.
ReplyDeleteI also think Mitt's a decent guy.
Has anyone asked Crackers McGee what he thinks of the new black Romney grandbaby, btw?
I'd rather have voted for a real conservative/libertarian, but there wasn't one.
Pollo, Troop was reading my original blog years ago, when like five other people were doing so. Incredible. I stumbled across a comment of his on an old post a few weeks back, and I felt almost the same way Bagoh felt stumbling across that comment by Chip Ahoy.
ReplyDeleteDude, fishes have the tightest, sweetest acks around. Most of your freshwater varieties have ribbed acks at that.
ReplyDeleteWorth a try.
IP needs to set up his gags better I guess.
ReplyDeleteFuck does bag o shit have to do with it?
Cody, I ended up voting for Romney, but I struggled with it up until about a week before the election. I tired of voting for the slightly lesser of two evils, and for a variety of reason that's how I viewed Romney. He would have been a more competent administrator, though that cuts both ways.
ReplyDeleteBut ultimately Romney got my vote. And that's because I was voting for ex-president Obama. A commenter named Tasty Bits (of all things) over at Dave Schuler's blog put it that way, and that dispelled many doubts.
The Oprah thing was where I bailed on that thread. Too much crazy to deal with w/o any compensating prospect of hot sex.
ReplyDeleteHey I have a large tolerance for friends who fuck up. In their actions. In their talk. In their opinions.
ReplyDeleteYou have to see past the controversy of the moment. Crack is a little crazed now. He is drinking Meade's cool aid but that is understandable because Meade is grooming him and he is the ultimate grifter.
All I am saying is give the brother a break.
Most of your freshwater varieties have ribbed acks at that.
ReplyDeleteI thought they were supposed to be ribbed for HER pleasure....
Too much crazy to deal with w/o any compensating prospect of hot sex.
ReplyDeleteThus every young man's life is explained away in one sentence!
Pain and isolation can lead to some weird effects. I am going to reach out to Crack and offer my friendship. I hope he takes it.
ReplyDeleteThat's fine, Troop--but how? I tried. I extended him a couple of hands of friendship (cough). We chatted. He held my hand.
ReplyDeleteThen he shivved me in the back. Several times. Then he held me down so meade could do it too.
So to speak, of course.
You think I'm going to get over that? I luv yiz and all...but nope.
The only break he gets from me is when I see him at the class picnic and hit him in the nose.
Think of him as the flip side of Palladian.
ReplyDeleteNot that you could flip Palladian without all of us lending a hand. Just sayn'
ReplyDeleteCody I totally understand. When somebody sticks it to you then go to the mattresses.
ReplyDeleteI can only be responsible for me. I don't ask anyone to follow my lead.
Let's not use pain and isolation as an excuse. He was a dick before this and he'll be a dick next year.
ReplyDeleteMy mother broke all three bones in her ankle back in July. She spent 12 weeks essentially being unable to move, in her house essentially alone. We did what we could for her but it's hard when you're an hour or more away.
She didn't turn into a raging bitch during that time. She actually got nicer. Which still worries me, but that's another issue.
Unlike what some crossing guards think this is just a merry band of pranksters who are all free agents.
ReplyDeleteJust don't get your hand bitten off, Troop. Your heart doesn't need the stress right now.
ReplyDeleteMaybe wait a few days, huh?
Where is Palladian anyway? It's about time for him to wander by and moon us.
Mind numbed robots!
ReplyDeleteShe actually got nicer. Which still worries me, but that's another issue.
ReplyDeleteYou're learning, Grasshopper!
I am going to reach out to Crack and offer my friendship. I hope he takes it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with that Troop and bless your heart for trying. I watched you try with J, Allie, and Titus. You really give people chances and sometimes they disappoint you. The fact that Meade has a a monetary influence on Crack is going to work against you and make it harder, I predict.
No, IP, not learning. I've known my mother a long time. And I knew her mother a long time too.
ReplyDeleteWorried. Very, very worried.
Sorry to hear that, Cody. Sounds disturbingly familiar.
ReplyDeleteThink of him as the flip side of Palladian.
ReplyDeleteI don't and won't think of him as the flip side of Palladian. Not jokingly. Not seriously.
I have to try chickie. That's the difference between me and the evil blogger lady. I want to try and pull people into a normal space. It doesn't always work. But sometimes you can get people to find forgiveness and mercy and they can reconcile.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I pray to Saint Jude.
I watched you try with J, Allie, and Titus.
ReplyDeleteIn a related vein, I thought I recalled someone who found the "up voice" enraging over at Althouse, and went there to look, finding instead a thread on the Titus voice as well as some other lively comments in About my proposed Titus recording which tracks back to the one about a blog fundraiser(which happens to be full of Theo, TT, if you're interested in further deleting). It was an interesting read in light of what's transpired since. Plus, it includes a "pre-chirbit" audio done by Palladian, who was way ahead of the curve. I also found Penny's cheerful voice intriguing:
I love politics and law. I love art and photography, and humor, and commenting on headlines. I could go on and on. The best thing that Ann has brought us ALL, is a place where we can virtually sit down and hash nearly ANYTHING out, and nearly always without making those not-like-us our enemies...or worse yet, buffoons.
The difference is we mean it here. We try to reach out and have fun even while we mock and dis each other. That's what humans do.
ReplyDeleteWhat TOP has turned into is all Inga all the time. They are welcome to that.
ReplyDeleteLooked at the old Althouse thread, and the one before that. That must have been during one of my breaks from Althouse, as I didn't see either of my handles in there. (I changed handles to Outis for a while.)
ReplyDeleteI see a lot of the old names. And I also noticed that Methadras was using Batboy back then. I still like the bird on the head better, but he's got a good argument for going back to the old one.
Anyway, the big point of all of this is that there is no point. But I am losing the battle to insomnia tonight. Tomorrow is going to be fun!
Er, I guess that should be TODAY is going to be fun!
ReplyDeleteI have to try chickie. That's the difference between me and the evil blogger lady. I want to try and pull people into a normal space. It doesn't always work. But sometimes you can get people to find forgiveness and mercy and they can reconcile.
ReplyDeleteBut the result is so predictable. You invent him in. He invariably insults somebody people care more about. There's a scene. People leave. Rinse repeat.
I'm scratching my head whether this is the business model for all successful entertainment. We know it was the model at Althouse. Seriously, I think the reason why blogs and web pages have this nasty business model (delete or be nasty) is the money thing. Meade is quite right about that. When the blog owner isn't subject to customer whims, the customer can never be king. You know this because you're a shopkeeper and that is why that unruliness doesn't apply here to some extent. Guys like crack just don't know this.
You need a good reason not to vote for him. Like he is ...
ReplyDeleteinto crony capitalism
favored by party elites
has wacky ideas about the universe
Actually these reasons go for both Mitt Romney and Barack Obama.
It was also pre-Meade wasn't it? Because she actually said she wasn't looking for money or something?
ReplyDeleteI'm really not desperate for the money, I really am in it for the laughs, something like that.
I know she was a pain before, but it seems like the shit went downhill once the grifter appeared.
And would Troop be Troop if he didn't try with Crackers?
Hell, maybe he can make some headway. I hope, for both their sakes Crackers doesn't shit in Troop's outstretched hand.
Crack really does seem cracked. Every issue leads back to "cults", the definition of which is an ever changing one. According to Crack's views, everything is a cult.
ReplyDeleteThen there is the slavery and black issue. Fuck...dude.....that was over 150 years ago....get a grip. Your "people" haven't been slaves for generations. To lay the blame of the black culture on events, horrible as they were and as wrong as they were, that happened over 150 years ago is just plain Cracked. I mean....I am probably the champion at holding a grudge, but eventually you have to take responsibility for the here and now and stop living in the past.
I know that I cannot really understand the 'black' experience. but then....guess what.....he can't understand my experience. No one can fit inside anyone else's skin. We can try, though. Crack just refuses to admit that people CAN have different viewpoints or that those differences don't mean that you hate or want to oppress.
And....I agree with Troop You can't discriminate against a Presidential candidate because of his religion. Period. It goes for Mormons. Catholics. Muslims like the current president. Even Scientologists.
I was very disappointed with Deborah and Freeman in that they neither would address my question of "Why does it matter to you if Romney is Mormon" or what would be the horrible downside. Mentally evading their own prejudices and bigotry.
I don't think they are honest with themselves at all.
ReplyDeleteI wear my prejudices proudly and acknowledge them to one and all. It might not be prefect but it is better than trying to fool everybody.
If that Hershey Highway photo doesn't attract Palladian we better send out the hounds looking for him.
ReplyDeleteI'm really confused. Exactly which side of Palladian is considered the "flip side"?
ReplyDeleteThat's why I can never get along with teachers pets. I think spinelli is the same way. We were the delinquents in the back of the class getting in trouble all the time while the lickspittles were all self righteous and sanctimonious.
ReplyDeletePalladian's flip side is the one with the spatula marks on it.
ReplyDeleteHe claims it is a tattoo but we know different.
That's why he is missing his kitchen utensils that are in storage.
And Cody,
ReplyDelete" bag o shit"? Really? It's Mister Bag o Shit. Show a little respect to those who have risked their lives making sure you get across the street safely
~ Bagoh20 - Lieutenant, West End Elementary Elite Crossing Guard Team Six.
You're going someplace even I don't want to go.
ReplyDeleteThat's a spatula, by god.
A barrel doesn't have sides, just a top and a bottom.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'
I said that Crack was the flip side of Palladian and I meant it. They are bizzaro opposite images of each other. They are both artists with a unique perspective. One is white and one is black. One is gay and one is straight. One is cooly sarcastic and glib and one is emotionally sarcastic and glib. They both give us a welcome window of how it is to be black or gay and remind us of one important thing.
ReplyDeleteThat we have to thank God everyday that we are not.
Hey Bags, you're almost acknowledging my existence!
ReplyDeleteInteresting how being nice to you never worked...you into the BDSM stuff?
Funny though, I never pictured you as a crossing guard--or a Crossing Guard. I thought you were in the back of the room plotting trouble with Troop and Nick.
Not that anyone wants to be a ex-fat loudmouth with a heart condition.
ReplyDeleteI lost 33 pounds in two weeks since I went into the hospital. Most if not all water weight. That's how much I was swelled up.
And all the time I thought it was my ego that was all swelled up.
I went back to that thread at Lems and explained to Crack my theory that black people are like Burt Reynolds.
ReplyDeletePalladian's an artist. I have yet to see any evidence of Cracker McGee's artistic ability. Chanting the names of cults and alternative medicine in a whiny voice that never changes inflection yet is off key isn't artistic, and I've listened to almost every minute of material Crackers has uploaded to youtube and soundcloud.
ReplyDeleteI dunno. You're a good guy, Troop. Maybe someday I'll evolve enough to be half as big-hearted as you are.
Burt Reynolds?
ReplyDeleteI really don't have the time to go hunt for that now, but I gotta read that one.
Is it that black guys always try to grow mustaches so they can look macho, like Isaac on love boat?
Or is it the love of big titted white blonde wimmins?
Well Crack is a musician and makes music that has some popularity. It is not my style but hey it is still art.
ReplyDeleteTroop, at that kind of weight loss you might need new pants. And shirts. That's a lot of water.
ReplyDeleteSomething like 4 gallons?
My embarrassing cashiering out of the service in 5th grade in no way takes away from my brave service before that. I served proudly and bravely until I was driven to snowball those rich kids in the head that dark December morning. They were simply overdressed, and had taunted my dedication for the last time.
ReplyDeleteIn one final bit of tribute to my fallen fellows in the service, I threw my belt and badge onto the roof of the Alhambra Hotel where the Brass would never be able to give it to another. I was very proud of Dad when he refused to pay for it, because we "were broke". Then he went and drank our last $30 in boiler makers just make sure it was true. But, my parents weren't slaves - it just looked that way.
You see Burt Reynolds used to be cool. Everybody wanted to be cool like Burt Reynolds. Have his style. Have his sex life. People copied his style.
ReplyDeleteNow he is just an old guy with a wig and a porn star mustache. It's old news. We have moved on. Stop with the complaining dude because nobody cares. Just hope when you croak they don't give your obituary spot at the Emmys to some gay dude who just started acting two years ago.
I am very worried about that Cody.
ReplyDeleteI might have to get new pants. That's gonna suck.
The water weight was what was killing my heart.
ReplyDeleteFucking water. I knew I should never have stopped drinking beer.
I have to put up some stories. People must be getting tired of the hospital report. I know I am.
ReplyDeleteI became a crossing guard, because you got out of class 15 minutes early. Nobody ever checked to see if you were at your assigned corner. But those rich kids spilled the beans, and they got their's in the end. The principle spanked me with a big board he kept above his desk, but it just made me smile as I thought of my friend Chuck Connors in Branded. He would understand.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that white pussy Crack never got over was Sally Field.
ReplyDeleteOf course , that was just a couple of months ago, so in time he may move on.
We were the delinquents in the back of the class getting in trouble all the time ....
ReplyDeleteFucking amateurs. REAL delinquents never showed up, or we got thrown out when we did. THAT'S how the fuck it is DONE.
Signed,
High School Drop Out
"Interesting how being nice to you never worked..."
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean? Don't you remember that dream you had about the Burt Reynolds that got kind of tingly. I did that.
~ Bagoh20 - Lieutenant, West End Elementary Elite Crossing Guard Team Six
ReplyDeleteWow, at my elementary school (Ridgewood Park Elementary School) we never had more than five teams. (One for each of the two exits, one for the bus stop, one for the parental pick-up, and a reserve unit in case of riots & whatnot.)
ReplyDeleteOr is it the love of big titted white blonde wimmins?
Wait, you mean there are people that DON'T like big titted white blonde wimmins? Huh....
Meh.
ReplyDeleteCrack, Titus, Inga, Meady are little more than attention seekers. No real value in their messages. All they want is attention, and they say anything to get it.
They are in a way like the kid acting out in the back of the classroom trying to get teacher's attention, all the while disrupting the class.
They are in a way like the kid acting out in the back of the classroom trying to get teacher's attention, all the while disrupting the class.
ReplyDeleteSaid the rich gringo biker, while waiting for the Mexican banditos he hired to get him some more beer.
" we never had more than five teams."
ReplyDeleteOur Team Six was an elite black ops unit that sliced the Achilles tendons of jaywalkers.
Hey, it worked for me! Mis amigos were fluent in capitalism.
ReplyDeleteOur Team Six was an elite black ops unit that sliced the Achilles tendons of jaywalkers.
ReplyDeleteLot of gimps in your old neighborhood?
When I got into the teaching profession for a few years I quickly learned teachers are really, the world's largest teacher's pet club. And you are correct sir, I was NEVER the teacher's pet. Although, as I moved up in grades, the teachers who didn't look upon compliance as important, liked me some. Not that it ever mattered. When you whittle much of my problem w/ TOP, she was the classic teacher's pet, I can see it. And, although she teaches on a graduate level, she has the mindset of Freeman Hunt, a grammar school teacher @ heart, keepin' them mean boys in line. We all got sent to the office.
ReplyDeleteIs it okay to say "black ops"?
ReplyDeleteHaz, You're correct. However, I will give Titus one bit of credit, he said that many times right up front.
ReplyDeleteHere's the deal, Troopski - you need to drink plenty of liquid, the trick is to not retain plenty of liquid.
ReplyDeleteYou must be dessicated to the one you love.
He just took me off the liquid restraint as he gave me a water pill. So I have been having plenty of tea and lemon water and feel a lot better.
ReplyDeleteYes Master, you are always right. What's that? Go to the window? Yes Master. Open it? Yes Master. Jump? Fallible, even you Master, fallible.
ReplyDeleteI figure Burt Reynolds always did the macho bit tongue in cheek. I sure hope so, because if he actually took it seriously the comedown must be unbearable. But he's got a sense of humor so he's saved. SAVED!
ReplyDeleteThis is dessicated to the one I love.
ReplyDeleteLife can never be.....
Wow, what a great song and I haven't given it a thought (though thought's the wrong word) for years, years. Ah well, fun in the shower tomorrow. That's right, I took my morning shower and I'm not one of those guys who has to go to bed dainty fresh, so I'll sing dessicated in the shower tomorrow morning thank you very much!
I prefer The Mamas and the Papas remake to the original.
ReplyDeleteWhen his 'ideas' are challenged with a reality that isn't his own from his larger world view, then he throws a tantrum. I'd like to see him peddle his ideas oh say in, Holland, England, Africa, Russia, or China. His rantings are becoming obsessive compulsive. I don't know if his mind is being affected by his medication or lack thereof and the pain he's undergone. I don't know, but his reality is skewed and unless I'm living in the fucking matrix, Morpheus didn't pop up to offer him the red or the blue pill.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteSigned,
High School Drop Out
Really?
Really. Though it was as much a question of whether I was going to walk out or get thrown out at the end. But not quite half-way through my junior year I was out the door.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Me too.
ReplyDeleteWhen you're in a meeting with your parents, the guidance counselor and the asst principal and the GC suggests things would be better if you left...you know you've probably worn out your welcome and should head down the road.
OTOH, when I got to college I was able to take it a lot more seriously than had I been 18. Also, I could buy beer. So I was the most popular freshman on campus.
Well, other than that one girl...
but she swallowed, so there's that.
When you're in a meeting with your parents, the guidance counselor and the asst principal and the GC suggests things would be better if you left...you know you've probably worn out your welcome and should head down the road.
ReplyDeleteLOL, I didn't even get that far. I got kicked out of my gifted English class for winning an argument that the teacher didn't want me to win, and the GC sent me to the school psychologist who happened to be in that day. We talked for a couple of hours, mostly not about school nor about anything personal, and then he said, "You know what you need to do? You need to drop out, get your GED and go to junior college."
BINGO! The only thing that would have made me happier that day is if my chem teacher had come into the room and fucked my brains out. (My chem teacher was uber-hot, very fit, and would have fit in the Hot for Teacher video perfectly. My balls are starting to ache just thinking about her, but perhaps you don't need to know that.)
SO that's more or less what I did, though I didn't take the GED for a year or two. This was before everything was computerized and I was able to get by at JuCo without it. When I did take the thing I got a call from Tallahassee. Apparently I had scored higher on the test than anyone in 20 years or so. I was going to get an award for it until they found out I had been in college for the preceding time. (I wasn't trying to hide it, it was all just kind of random.) Whatever. The main thing was, "Take THAT, Mrs. Paine!"
Yes, my high school English teacher was a Mrs. Paine. At JuCo I would have a Professor Fear (who really loved his coffee) teach me in the same subject. Years later when I finally got my head out of my ass and buckled down, I ended up having a Dr. Sin teach me for a semester in graduate level analysis (that's math, not psychobabble). Paine, Fear and Sin. All I needed was a Death and a Turn-Your-Head-and-Cough and I would have had the complete set.
Anyhow, the school head shrinker told me to drop out and go to college, that's what he had his children do when they all hit 15 or 16! My mother had gone through enough crap with both my sister and brother that she just said, "Fine, do it."
TY's blog is a cult.
ReplyDeleteWe're nothing but kool-aid drinkers!
ReplyDeleteMind numbed robots, like I said yesterday.
ReplyDeleteLOL IP.
Professor Fear.
Sounds like an X-Man rip off.
And yeah, I could've gone the rest of the day without hearing about your balls aching, but I guess I'm glad you feel free enough to share.
ReplyDeleteSo did Crackers actually accuse Trooper of wanting to (or threatening to) kill blacks?
ReplyDeleteHow's that extending the hand of friendship thing working out?
It's better when we talk about boobs.
ReplyDeleteDavid E. Fear. He wrote some textbooks back in the day.
ReplyDeleteAnother instructor at my JuCo (Valencia Community College back then, now just Valencia College, I believe) was one Chauncey G. Parker III, who taught actual lit classes. Chauncey was one of the most impressive men I ever met. And checking Bing I see that he just died Monday. Wow, that's really startling news.
What I was going to say was that Chauncey (my wife and I both had him as a professor, and we both spent a lot of time back then talking to him, so he is always Chauncey in this household) wrote a couple of novels, one of which got made into a movie, Of Unknown Origin. The book was called The Visitor.
Anyway, his Obit is here, and here's a pertinent bit that gives some small flavor of the man.
Sutton said Parker was initially reluctant to talk about his role as a member of the U.S. delegation to the United Nations Security Council in October 1962. He served as an adviser to Adlai Stevenson, the U.N. representative who famously confronted his Soviet counterpart about the presence of missiles in Cuba.
Parker was skeptical about the missile crisis itself, saying decades later that he wondered whether it was perhaps the work of those who wanted to counter the mounting public perception that President John F. Kennedy was "more showbiz than substance."
"While the world held its breath, I watched an array of what the French refer to as 'petit fonctionnaires' up from Washington rushing around, stiffly pressing their briefcases close to their chests, heads solemnly bowed, as though bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders," Parker wrote in 2010 for a presentation to the Phi Theta Kappa chapter at Valencia. "You've never seen such an assortment of self-importance savoring their moment in the sun, planning the stories they would have for telling their grandchildren.''
Haz--you're talking to and about Crackers. That's pretty much talking about a giant boob.
ReplyDeleteI know. It's cheap and I hate myself for it.
I know. It's cheap and I hate myself for it.
ReplyDeleteI hate you for it too, because you beat me to the punch line.
Ba-Zing!!
ReplyDeleteYou know he was Altmouse's first husband, don't you?
Icepick,
ReplyDeleteThat's an under-rated movie. Great showcase for Weller. Featured Shannon Tweed, briefly, as his wife, bookending his confrontation with Rodentiae gigantica, before she launched into her erotic-thriller-semi-stardom.
Didn't read the book, though I read a lot of '80s horror trades, never came across that one.
Haz--
ReplyDeleteWut? That wasn't Cohen?
It's why she seldom posts photos of her kids.
ReplyDeleteWait, who was Althouse's first husband? I've lost the thread!
ReplyDeleteBlake, I haven't seen the movie, but I read the book years and years ago. It was kind of a surprise that the professor I knew wrote THAT book.
ReplyDeleteWriting is hard. Even coming up with readable trash ain't easy.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what's going on anymore.
ReplyDeleteHer first husband was Richard L. Cohen.
I hate you for it too, because you beat me to the punch line.
ReplyDeleteNo fair. You already hated me, can't double up.
That's what she wants you to believe.
ReplyDeleteCody - it was humor. Humor.
ReplyDeleteAnd all this time I thought humor was supposed to be funny.
ReplyDeleteHaz, when are you going to take Crackers up on his offer to kick your ass?
ReplyDeleteI'd be willing to chip in for the gas if you wanted to make a weekend ride out if it.
Remember what Camel Toe, er, Crack, actually says - he's always "Someone is going to kick your ass", not that he is. He is a cripple and a liar.
ReplyDeleteHe is a failed rapper and, ultimately, merely a thug-wanna-be. But he is full of himself.
Cody - I think that deep down he really, really likes me.
ReplyDeleteI've seen these rants before. It's like a release valve for the dude.
ReplyDeleteChrist, Spinelli, he's gotten to you.
ReplyDeleteYOU'RE ONE OF THE POD PEOPLE!!! CULT CULT CULT!!!
Sixty, Crackers can't get Spinelli because Spinelli has a spaceship, remember? The one he uses to look down Mengle's chimney.
ReplyDeleteHaz, I think you're gonna have to procure your own ass whooping. Cans of it are available through Amazon portal.
ReplyDeleteCut the man some slack - he married a Frenchwomen.
ReplyDeleteThat'd mess with anyone's mind.
Plus he's a musician, those dudes don't even live in the real world.
ReplyDeleteI hope Trooper posts a "don't be like Me" comment.
ReplyDeleteWhat went went wrong? Its the auditor in me.
He's a musician like I'm virginia mayo.
ReplyDeleteall he does is monotone whine over some garageband (the software) music that he's sampled in way way too much other crap into.
That's not being a musician.
I am a life-long musician and quite like many French women.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I hereby denounce myself and shall report to reeducation camp forthwith.
god virgina mayo was hot.
ReplyDeleteYou don't count, Sixty. You're white and a goober.
ReplyDeletegod virgina mayo was hot
ReplyDeleteWhat do they put in it back there?
Phew - that was close!
ReplyDeleteI mean - gollleee, thank yew sergeant Carter!
You mean "up there" E. P. - directionality is destiny.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha ha Chickie.
ReplyDeleteHa ha.
Ha.
"He's a musician like I'm virginia mayo."
ReplyDeleteCaptain Over: "Give me Hamm, hold the Mayo.
Oh good. We had to do TBL breakdown the other night, now comes Airplane humor.
ReplyDeleteNo offense to musicians - but most of you guys have your heads in the clouds - nobody knows what you're thinking.
ReplyDeletePlaying your "bebop" and your crazy "jazz" - no matter Crack went crackers.
Well, I went and did it. Bought myself The Gentleman's Personal Barber from Hammacher-Schlemmer. Fifty bucks plus shipping and handling. Looked through the customers' comments which don't seem to be doctored over there and the lack of complaints about malfunctions led me to take a chance. Basically it's shaped to be held more or less like you hold a comb and then you comb your hair with the thing set to 1/2" or 1/4" or 1/8". We shall see. So thoroughly fed up with the whole barber shenanigans. What's the worst that can happen? I'll scalp myself instead of paying the barber nearly twenty bucks to scalp me.
ReplyDeleteCut the man some slack - he married a Frenchwomen.
ReplyDeleteJey, that's his own damned fault, and I'm tired of having to pay for the fact that he's one stupid fucked up fool.
I can't believe people let his 10-1 comment stand.
You don't count, Sixty. You're white and a goober.
ReplyDeletePlus he can lick his own eyebrows. I'm wondering if the tongue or the eyebrows are detachable. A detachable tongue could some in, uh, handy, as long as it didn't get misappropriated.
Oh, I forgot to mention, I have a three way mirror on a dresser in one of the upstairs rooms so that should make the combing/cutting not a completely flying blind procedure.
ReplyDeleteWhat was the 10-1 comment. I gave up trying to read his shit and skimmed Troops for lulz.
ReplyDeleteAh, Weedhoppah, learn to read more deeply or some shit. The quote was as follows:
ReplyDelete"No" he said, with a sly smile as he licked his eyebrows, "but I do have a way with the women."
Please to notice quote marks. The implication is that someone other than the commenter was the originator of said quote.
I think it was that Kiss guy or something...
You just admitted whites - and everybody else - are sick of blacks. You - whites - outnumber us well over 10 to 1.
ReplyDeleteThat's what he claimed, and about 100 comments went by with that unchallenged. I then responded with the following:
Everyone just let this stand? This is just factually untrue in the United States of America, and there is no way Crack believes this particular piece of bullshit. I take that back, given that he believes the only way for the Republican Party to survive is for everyone to do exactly as Obama says, he could be that stupid.
From the 2010 census, non-hispanic whites made up 63.7% of the population. Non-hispanic blacks made up 12.2% of the population.
That's about a 5.2 to one ratio of white to black, in the non-hispanic categories. Blacks are about twice as numerous, compared to non-hispanic Whites what Crack is claiming. Utter bullshit.
If you just take African Americans, that is 12.6% of the population in the 2010 census, which puts them at about a 7 to 1 disadvantage versus everyone, which still isn't 10-1.
But hey, let's not let the facts get in the way of the argument....
That kind of selective use of untrue "facts" when the actual truth is well-known and readily checked pushed all the wrong buttons with me.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBarber shenanigans? you ask. Here's the thing. You have to train the barber. Best for me would be I sit down in the chair and after giving the most specific instructions possible shut my eyes don't say another word and pay at the end. But I didn't train my barber. Instead we make all kinds of small talk and I play the fool and feel awful for playing the fool but can't stop and feel positively rungout when it's over. My barber is a lesbo. Half the women in central upstate New York are...lesbos. Incredible but true. She's okay in the way someone barely more than a stranger is okay. Anyway, I've had enough. I mean IT'S NOT LIFE OR DEATH!!!
ReplyDeletePuts me in the mood for Festivus, if ya know what I'm sayin'.
ReplyDeleteJust shave your head, already, ric! You're starting to sound like Crack going on about the Mormons.
ReplyDeleteOkay, that was a cheap shot, but I couldn't help myself.
More seriously, you need to find a gay man to cut your hair, or a legit, old-fashioned barber.
ricpic, you have broached a subject near and dear to my follicles - before Breaking Bad wrapped up I was thinking of going with the Walter White look, but realized I have hardly ever shaved anything, ever, so the idea of shaving my head makes very little sense to me. Once I sobered up.
ReplyDeleteI recalled a coworker talking about using a Flowbee back when they first reached the market, but have not done any research.
Now I can add The Gentleman's Personal Barber from Hammacher-Schlemmer to my list of things to look into. Like you I am not thrilled about paying a barber, heck, they charge me a finder's fee these days, so some machine I could run myself might be the ticket. Of course I don't have any fancy 3 way mirrors or anything like that - I am an old fashioned kind of guy.
Hammacher-Schlepper - has a nice ring to it...
Ricpic - You didn't spring for a Flobee?
ReplyDeleteI mean, a lesbo isn't going to give a shit how you look, unless you're very androgynous.
ReplyDeleteMaybe just tell her you want to look like k. d. lang.
Not Seinfeld now.
ReplyDeleteDoh! Too late.
ReplyDeleteYou could ask your barber to give you a Sinead.
ReplyDeleteOh, wait.....
Sinead takes it in the ass. In fact she demands it.
ReplyDeleteHey, that was a one-shot, Cody, and I bet you know what I meant.
ReplyDelete...
I was thinking about shaving my head (again) a few years ago, but then I was in a wedding for one of my best friends. We're all standing up there, in out late 30s to mid 40s, and I look down the line and realized I was the only one that hadn't shaved his head. All the others had been doing so for years, because they had to. So I decided at that point to keep all my hair because I've still got all of it - it felt like a betrayal of The Cause to shave it off.
Forget it Ice; its Cracker-town.
ReplyDeleteYou sure you don't mean Loonie Toons?
ReplyDeleteSad that "Breaking Bad" had to defame Heisenberg, a Nobel prize winning Physicist.
ReplyDeleteWalter White should have called himself "Fritz Haber" after the evil German Chemist who invented Poison gas in WW I.
Googled flobee or flowbee. That thing's scary, dude!
ReplyDeleteActually Hammacher has another mechanical "barber" that is something, in shape anyway, like a flobee but I rejected it because the customers' comments were filled with all kinds of complaints about having to "oil" the thing! Jeebus!!
"Haber says relax!" doesn't have the same ring.
ReplyDeleteBesides, Heisenberg's name isn't exactly clean, although appropriately enough it isn't exactly dirty, either.
He could have called himself Schrodinger, but then PETA would have collectively shit itself. And damn, we don't want any more stink coming from those folks.
ReplyDeleteThe Japaneses make some weird ass porn.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe people let his 10-1 comment stand.
ReplyDeleteIce, I left the thread and didn't see it. It's hopeless to argue with him. And I don't see he gained any respect except maybe from Inga and Freeman.
Is Haber's name a household word in the US? It should be--we depend on his process. He won the chemistry Nobel in October 1918 while the war still technically raged and not for poison gas.
ReplyDelete"And I don't see he gained any respect except maybe from Inga and Freeman."
ReplyDeleteActually, Crack made a complete fool of himself, but we all see the world differently.
Some people see wisdom - while others see borderline-insane paranoia.
Besides, Heisenberg's name isn't exactly clean, although appropriately enough it isn't exactly dirty, either.
ReplyDeleteWhy so uncertain?
I agree Haber doesn't have quite the ring that Heisenberg has. What about "Kaganovich"?
ReplyDeleteCody likes ass porn. Have you done time?
ReplyDeleteIn a jap prison?
ReplyDelete"Ugh"
ReplyDeleteThat's hot!
Interesting to see where nicks head is. I said nothing about ass porn.
ReplyDeleteNick has a off-putting way of asking questions. My first thought is always "what are you going to do with that knowledge?"
ReplyDelete"Interesting to see where nicks head is. I said nothing about ass porn."
ReplyDeleteHe's got hours and hours of "ass porn". It's actually just video he collect from his toilet cams, but he makes up for the quality with quantity. He's got some of you for instance. You should see a doctor about that...thingy there.
I did, last week. She said you'd been okay with yours for years.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if meade has tired of dancing with crackers. there are now semi-mean comments on TMR from the houseboy.
ReplyDeleteSo meade puffed up crackers with flattery and sympathy and money. Crackers went crackers and tore up here a little bit but really showed his ass at Lem's...and the next day lawnboy starts in being crappy. So what's crackers got now?
Lather, rinse, repeat.
And lawnboy has a new profile pic. I guess it's supposed to be a badger but it looks more like a skunk.
I am not getting the war on Glenn Reynolds thing, but even Merde is starting to worry (worry GR will hold it against him).
ReplyDeleteLOL, Evi. You see it as meade worrying, I see it as meade being a douche.
ReplyDeleteFor all the harping and subtle innuendo people dish against people still reading and commenting on Althouse, I don't get why any of you still read and link Crack. I don't mind any of it, but be consistent.
ReplyDeleteConsistent? I got your consistency right here!
ReplyDeleteThat's a reference to an Eastern.
Consistency dis!
But seriously, we all seek amusement at times. I, and others, have railed against even mentioning certain sites from time to time, but who doesn't like the occasional train wreck, at least when viewed from afar. It's human nature, baby!
But to each his own. TMR is, for me, unreadable. Lem's little litter box is occasionally interesting, like when our esteemed EPR is posting or when Deborah puts up a music post.
But that Troopski - that boy be straight trippin', Boo, nome sane? Boy is wastin' away to nuthin - gonna be all crak-ho lookin' fo' long.
I don't have anything to do w/ either of those sites. Where do I go to pick up my Most Consistent Commenter award?
ReplyDeleteFrom my perspective, I don't understand how people can comment on TOP after the utter disdain--contempt, really--the proprietress demonstrated toward her "community". In that regard she's just like her boyfriend Barack.
But there are lots of things in the world I don't understand, and I don't blame those things for my failure to understand them.
Regarding things other people do that don't affect me, my attitude is chacun à son goût.
"chacun à son goût."
ReplyDeleteLoosely translated, my Mexican son has inflammatory joint disease.
You're absolutely right, Chicks. I was going to TMR a couple of times a day when I was trying to be friends with him (yes, that was stupid on my part. I realize that now. Feel free, of course, to pile on if you feel like it).
ReplyDeleteI stopped going when he made it clear he didn't care about my attempts, in fact the more I tried the more contemptuous he became. I only went back last night because I was curious how he was handling his melt down at Lem's--usually he blogs about how he's vanquished the white devil etc, and that can be funny.
I will still read once in a while at Althouse. Mostly just skimming to see if she's peeing her pants in a soft chair by the window yet. And I don't understand the people that still want to comment there--but I do find your comments there (when I see them) to be fairly amusing--not that I'm laughing at you, I'm snickering at the comment itself, understand.
I pretty much only look at Lem's place (and Sixty, I plan to steal that litter box line and use it shamelessly--I'll give credit when possible) when someone here says there's something interesting, and I do like to read posts made by The Chicken.
As to the Crackers/Glenn Reynolds thing: Crackers craves attention. If he can rile GR enough to swat at him, he's got blogging gold for a year. So he's going to get crazier and crazier until he gets something out of it. Much like my Boston Terrier. First comes the paw on the leg "pick me up" or "throw the ball". If I ignore--next is the jump. And she'll jump higher and higher until she head butts me square in the nuts and I have to pay attention to her.
Crack's like that. He's trying to stick his face in GR's balls.
Goût, loosely translated, refers to gusto.
ReplyDeleteYou've got to grab all that can.
No, Sixty, that's French. It means "what? no wine?"
ReplyDeleteDammit! I need a proofreader!
ReplyDeleteEPR, I thought it actually meant taste.
ReplyDeleteIt's derived from latin. In latin it's still "taste".
"gusto" is derived from it, I think.
Send all your posts to me first, Chick. I'll be happy to make sure they're correct and adjust them as necessary.
ReplyDeleteSo I need to aspire to be as smart as Chick (and Chip), as consistent as Chip, as big hearted as Troop, as stoic as Sixty and as pretty as Darcy.
ReplyDeleteOh boy.
That's a tall odor, Cody.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the praise you guys. I really crave it and appreciate it. I will try to write something original at Lem's about the 2013 Chemistry Nobel after everything else has been said.
ReplyDeleteCody Jarrett said...
ReplyDeleteEPR, I thought it actually meant taste.
It does, but sometimes I can't get my mind off of Schlitz beer commercials.
That's a tall odor, Cody.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know the half of it.
I am willing to risk the wrath of the wonderful MamaM to state unequivocally that you will never be as pretty as Darcy.
ReplyDeleteJust like me and my NBA career, sometimes you just have to know when to quit trying.
I am only here to help.
Just pull for the Red Sox, Cody, and you'll be Good and Wise and Just.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I hope, very happy at the end of this season.
But he's already as big an ass as I am, so he's got that going for him.
ReplyDeleteThat's precisely why I didn't list you, IP. Although I still think you might be a little assier than I am, I'm fairly comfortable with my level of assness.
ReplyDeleteAnd Sixty--you're not wrong. Then again, you hardly ever are.
Chip, I still haven't gotten the last two seasons out of my system. Last night was the most I've seen of them all year. I think I saw about 4 innings total.
ReplyDeleteHiring Bobby Valentine was just about the final indignity. I'm willing to say it was time for Tito to go, even though I love the guy. But Bobby fucking Valentine?
Sixty:
ReplyDeletehttp://livealifelessordinary.com/index.html
sorry for not making it clickable.
Think of Bobby V. as Drano: vile shit that cleans out the accumulated gunk in your system.
ReplyDeleteChick, have you seen this?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bbc.com/future/story/20121008-winning-formula-for-nobel-prizes
Ha, Chip. That's not bad at all.
ReplyDeleteMi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when that happens.
ReplyDelete¿Es impulsado por electricidad?
ReplyDeleteCan I ride in it, blake?
ReplyDeleteOnce you get it cleaned out, I mean.