After Gale Sayers dropped her Elsie was devastated. She quit her job as a spokes cow and moved to rural Wisconsin. She got married to a very nice normal guy who had nothing to do with show business or sports. They had four beautiful children. After he passed she realized something that was apparent all along. She was a lesbian.
She started to diet and cut out all dairy products from her diet. She changed her diet and moved into a small house in Madison with her partner Nina and they spend all their time at protests against Scott Walker and circulating recall petitions.
Well she does spend some time on the Internet flirting with lonely men just to keep her hand in the game.
Because no matter how much her life has changed over the years......she still remains a sexy cow.
(Got Milk, The E True Hollywood of Elsie the Cow)
Wholly cow!
ReplyDeleteWhaaaaattt?!
ReplyDeleteHey I demand a rewrite!
There are no rewrites in Trooper York land baby.
ReplyDeleteJust misspellings.
ReplyDeleteBut, but, but a LESBIAN!? How about a stripper?
ReplyDeleteHey don't take it so personal. I wasn't refering to you. You know.
ReplyDeletePlus we love the ladies who fancy the fish taco here at Trooper York. They are among our favorite peoples. Just sayn'
But just to make you happy I will look for some cow stripper photo's.
ReplyDeleteOK, goes off pouting........
ReplyDeleteActually it is a nice story, since it's not about me, I'm like Darcy I like the beef.
ReplyDelete1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4
She don't like fashions, she don't like phonies
She don't like junkies, she don't like druggies
She just wants my beef baloney
Beef, beef beef, beef baloney (x4)
She don't like salami, she don't want pastrami
She don't want a chicken, she don't want a roast
She just wants her double dose
Beef, beef, beef, beef baloney, beef, beef, beef
One minute of intro, a half minute of song: link
Allie's a carpet muncher?
ReplyDeleteAllie: But, but, but a LESBIAN!? How about a stripper?
ReplyDeleteShe hasn't been made into hamburger yet, so there's still time.
I respect a cow's right to live openly as a lesbian.
ReplyDeleteLittle know fact:
ReplyDeleteThe "B" in LGBT stands for "bovine".
I wonder if there are any lesbian strippers? I'm sure there are, but I mean overt lesbians w/ bull dykes in the crowds "letting it rain."
ReplyDeleteCattle mutilations are up in Sauk County, Wi.
ReplyDeleteOMG! Running as fast as my four legs can take me into the safety of the barn! Big round bugs with flashing lights in the sky, hide , hide!
ReplyDeleteND pretty much every stripper who works in a club is a lesbian.
ReplyDeleteI got to track down and interview strippers on a couple cases. It would come as no shock to anyone that fights, groping, and such occur in titty bars which result in civil litigation. I had an insurance client that specialized in high risk liability coverage, bars, titty bars, pool halls, etc.
ReplyDeleteThe girls I interviewed were mostly hetero[married, live-in boyfriends] although I'm sure weren't averse to hitting from the other side of the plate. Maybe they're just lesbo in Brooklyn. And, I'm sure some friend told you about them..you wouldn't have any first hand knowledge. What do you reply when Lee Lee asks, "Honey. Why do you have a 50 pack of $1 bills?"
Wasn't Elsie--or Elise?--on an '80s sitcom about a couple of hippie cows who had a very right-wing conservative calf with Parkinson's?
ReplyDelete@Blake - you are correct, and the poor little shaky calf trembled and quivered and pissed and moaned and cried out against the injustice of the Bush presidency, then when Obama was elected the little calf was miraculously healed. Or the media started ignoring him or something. In any case, all it took was a regime change and the midget calf was never heard to complain again.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct blake. And you what is funny. After the show was over Elsie decided she was a lesbian. Just sayn'
ReplyDeleteExactly how I made the connection, Troop.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how women suddenly just discover their lesbianism.