Sometimes the best you can do is hold down the fort.

Sometimes the best you can do is hold down the fort.

That's what Bobby Murcer and Roy White did. In between Mickey and Whitey and Yogi and the later crew with Thurman and Craig and Reggie.....they kept the Yankee fans in the game. They were the stars. They came to play every day and did the best they could. They weren't the greatest Yankees by any stretch of the imagination.

But they were "True Yankees."

Sometimes the best you can do is hold down the fort.

I will take the package with the Pinata.

I have been spending the last few days at a wake and a funeral and I must say that the American way of death is always amazing. This particular funeral home was unbelievable. They tried to make money from the bereaved in every way possible. They sold commemorative candles with the deceased photo on it. They did a video tribute that played continually during wake. They even offered a video service where they would tape the wake so you could see who showed up and who didn't. They want every last time.

When I went to get a Mass Card the guy at the desk tried to sell me an altar vestment or a chalice. I demurred but said I might want to set up my funeral in advance. You see they has this thing called the "Pre-plan" where you pay for everything in advance and they put the money in an interest bearing account until you croak and then they use the money to plant you. So the guy's eyes light up and he goes "Well what kind of funereal did you have in mind." I say "I want the one with the Pinata and the bouncy castle."

He was not amused.

Bow to this douchebag

Sometimes it doesn't pay to read the newspaper. Some people never learn.

It's like the friend of yours who is a douchebag and he comes to your favorite bar. I mean he is your friend and all and you are sort of responsible for his behavior. But he is all drunk in up in the face of the women at the bar and he snaps his fingers at the bartender for a drink. So what can you do. I mean you can't contol douchebaggery when it is that persons nature you know.

It's even worse when the guy is not your friend but he represents you anyway.

There is a way to treat some people. The only thing they understand.

What a mess.

I hate Halloween!!!!!

I always hated Halloween. Along with Christmas it is among my least favorite holidays. It has become so commercial and greedy that it is just not worth getting out of bed for. We closed the store every Halloween since we opened because we knew we would not do any business. What happens is thousands and I mean thousands of kids show up looking for candy. Now I really don't mind the little kids which I could deal with but the big douche bags who are twelve and thirteen come around and get rowdy. And nowadays you can't even hit them. I mean in the old days if they stepped out of line you could rap them one in the chops and when they got home and their parents heard what they did they would catch another beating. But now they will sue your ass off.

The first year after we were married the wife got all carried away like she has a tendency to do. She decorated our house with all kinds of lights and skeletons and witchs and stuff and made all these little bags chock full of candy. She gave out all the stuff and the little kids were delighted. I stood outside with my upstairs neighbor who is over six feet two just like me as the kids came up to get their treats. (He was interested in meeting some of the single moms, but that's another story). Around seven thirty or so the worm turned. The teenagers and tweens from the projects came around. Their costumes were basically Air Jordan, hoodies and a JD card. One kid takes the package of candy, looks at it, and pegs it across the street. He goes "What's this shit...give me ten dollars." I look at him and say "Hey kid look out, I am gonna scare the shit out of you....here's a job application...now get the fuck out of here." He decided that discretion was the best move so he went with his crew to the next house down the block. The wife kind of soured on the experience after another hour of similar encounters.

We have to open on Saturday because it is our biggest day and we can't take a chance that a destination shopper might miss out. But I intend to close early. I have a bunch of little bags for the little kids.

Oh and I bought some apples for the bigger losers. The only problem is that CVS only has the BIC disposables. But I am working on it.

Happy Halloween!!!!

Hey the city is finally good for something.

The side of the store got tagged by a graffiti shit head on Tuesday night. I was going to go down to make a complaint but today the lieutenant in charge of quality of life came in to tell me about it. I told him I was planning to go down to fill out a report. He told me if I called 311, and asked to make a police report the city would actually repaint it for me for free.

Holy corporate welfare Batman.

How cool is that. My conservative principle's will not stop me from taking advantage of this government program. I am nothing if not the sole of hypocrisy.

Finally the government is doing something for me.

Plus I have a camera and am giving the cops a copy of the tape so they can arrest these fucks. And I promised a steep discount to whatever officer brings me the head of the douche who tagged the store.

Is the glass half full or is it half empty.

I hate philosophical questions.