The Babe Abides

"Hey Babe hows the Hot Dog?"
"Ummm uggle umm."
"Looks good. Hey how many have you had? Twenty? Jeeez Babe ya gotta be kidding me. You are gonna get sick."
"Egggree umm slurp slurp."
"I know you can handle it. Still you might take it easy. You don't want to end up with a heart condition where you can't eat any dogs anymore. That would suck."

The Babe Abides

"We are here with the pitching sensation of the Boston Red Sox the one and only Babe Ruth. Babe how do you think the Sox are going to do in this early going of the 1918 season?"
"Why we are going to the Series keed waddaya think?"
"Well it seems that the Yankees have a good team as do the Tigers so do you really think the Sox can get to the Series?"
"Of course we can whats the matter with you? Are you retarded or something?"
"Babe several of the fellas have been down with the flu in Spring Training. Do you think that will effect the team this season/"
"What a little flu? Why would that be a problem? What are we pussies? I once played the whole season with the clap and my pecker was oozing like a tube of Peposdent that I stepped on when I was fucking that whore on the bathroom sink. A little flu never meant nothing. Besides I hear only them spics get it."
"Thanks Babe for your time."
"Get that to editing. They might have to slice it up a little. Achoo. Damn I think I have an allergy to pine tar or something..

The Babe Abides

"That's right keed. It's this big."
"Com'on Babe you must be kidding."
"Nah keed that's were I get all my power. You just have to keep on grabbing and tugging on it. Then someday you might have as big a bat as the Babe."
"Where did you figure that out Babe,"
"In the reformatory St. Mary's. Brother Ignatius taught me. I guess you didn't learn that in the Salvation Army."
"Ok Babe I will follow your advice."
"Good thing keed. Because you know you will always be known as a jerk off."

The Babe Abides

"Hey keed don't stand too close. I don't want to catch no Chinese crud."
"We not Chinese Mr. Root. We Japanese."
"I don't care kid I just know one thing."
"What 's that Mr. Root?"
"You're all pink on the inside."
"Tee heeeeee Mr. Root."
"I just don't want any of youse with a runny nose. Or a runny cunt. I already dealt with that. So line up for inspection. I am going to stick Miller Huggins up there to see what's happening."
"Okey Dokey Mr. Root."

The Babe Abides

They say we're young and we don't know
We won't find out until we grow
Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you

Babe
I got you babe.... I got you babe

They say our love won't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
I guess that's so, we don't have a pot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got

Babe
I got you babe..... I got you babe

I got flowers in the spring I got you to wear my ring
And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always around
So let them say your hair's too long
'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong
Then put your little hand in mine
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe
I got you babe I got you babe

I got you to hold my hand
I got you to understand
I got you to walk with me
I got you to talk with me
I got you to kiss goodnight
I got you to hold me tight
I got you, I won't let go
I got you to love me so

I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe

The Babe Abides

"Ok Keed smile for the camera's"
"Why are we holding hands Babe?"
"I don't know. That photographer with the rare clumber spaniels asked me too."
"Oh."

The Babe Abides.

"Say Babe what are you doing?"

"Gonna slap some balls around Keed."

"What?"

"Handball Keed. Handball. Get your mind out of the sewer. I ain't in the National League."

The Babe abides

"Where you off too Babe?"

"Down to Spring Training. The Yanks have me ready to go."

"You think you are gonna win this year Babe?'

"The Yankees always win Keed. The Yankees always win."

The Babe Abides

"Here you go kids. Cigars for everyone. Now you only get one because I don't want to stunt your growth."
"But Babe the doctors tell us that cigars are no good for us."
"Don't listen to doctors kid. They will kill you before you are dead. It's every Americans right to enjoy a stogie. They ain't never gonna stop that. This ain't communist roooshia or nothing like that. These came all the way from Cuba. One at a time now."
"Thanks Babe!"

The Babe abides

"Howyadoin Keed?"
"Howdy Babe, nice to make your acquittance partner. My name is Roy Rodgers."
"Say I know you. You're that singing cowboy right?"
"That's right Babe. I want you to know that I am a big fan."
"That's nice Keed. Say whose that girlie over there with the lasso?"
"Oh that's my wife Dale Evans."
"That's a shame Keed. I love a lady with a lasso."

The Babe abides

"How ya doing Babe?"

"Real sore Keed. Can you get in those knots there. My back is aching."

"Sure Babe. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure Keed."

"Do you like gladiator movies?"

The Babe Abides.

"Yeah so I was tellin ya keed. That was some team. We had it all. But Huggins just wouldn't let us play. So I had to hold him out the back of the train till he promised to straighen up. He was a tough little monkey."
"But Babe he was just trying to keep your head in the game."
"My head in the game. Get the fuck out of here. I kept my head in some whores. The game is easy. You get up you swing and you hit it out of the park. That little fuckin midget just wanted to show who was boss."
"Well he's gone now."
"Yeah he didin take care of himself like me. Now I gotta go out and cough up half my fuckin lung. Buy those two dolls a drink and I will be right back."