Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner

Poor Garage. Walker won. Again. The Republicans swept. The evil blogger ladies blog is filled with assholes who hate him and mock him at every turn.

What's a liberal simp to do?

Ride the subway naked.

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner

I feel for Garage.

He just ran across Mary Burke. So to speak.

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner!

Garage has been heard from. He wished me well and sent me some of his best road kill recipes.

It is just hard to get the ingredients.

"First find a dead cow in the middle of the road."

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner

I finally heard from our old friend Garage Mahal. He hasn't been posting much these days as he has been very busy. But he sent me this photo. He called it his favorite "beaver shot."

I don't think he knows what that means.

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner.

Now that the comment section at TOP is closed we have to find other things to do. DBQ can go back to shaving her legs. El Pollo Raylan can go back to his consulting services for Southern California meth cookers. Sixty Grit can get back to his woodworking shop where he creates wooden dildo's with the extra knobs on them for the lesbian market. The Crack Emcee can go back to teaching yoga and transcendental meditation. But the one person who is using his new free timely wisely is our old friend Garage Mahal.

He just bought a new BMW Enduro sportser bike and he is trolling the backroads of Wisconsin with the little woman for fresh roadkill for the pot. The dude is cleaning up!

In more ways than one!

An except from "Taken for Granted" a Novel by Leslyn Amthor Spinelli

I pulled up to scene of the accident in the misting rain. Kate stood by her car looking disheveled and sad. Her car was in the middle of the street with the door open. In front of it lay a mangled corpse. It looked like a St Bernard. It just didn't have a barrel around it's neck.
"What happened Kate?""I don't know Caroline. I was driving down the street...and yes I was going a little fast ...when this huge dog ran right in front of my car from out of nowhere. I think it was being chased by that guy."

She pointed at a dubious character on the sidewalk. He looked like a homeless field worker in a soiled pair of green coveralls. And he had his hand stuck down it and was....OH MY GOD!"
"I know that guy. He is a dog toucher. We arrested him once. It seems I see him all over town. We
have to look at the dog. At his anus. If he was molested he might have committed suicide."
"But Caroline we can't let the cops find out about this. This just makes me look even more reckless.
How can we cover this up?""Well first we have to get rid of the body. And before you say anything I am not giving it to that perv. No how. No way."

The street had been pretty deserted when all of a sudden a battered and dusty BMW with an "Impeach Walker Now" bumper sticker pulled up. A portly disheveled man in a stained Green Bay Packers sweatshirt and a pee sodden pair of sweat pants came waddling up. "Oh boy. Dinner. Yummy!"He scooped up the carcass and lovingly laid it in the trunk of his German motorcar. It joined two squirrels, a skunk and what looked like a possum." Thank you ladies and remember to vote in the recall."

Well that was one problem solved.

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner

Garage got started young. In fact this is where his obsession with road kill began. 

OH MY GOD....DEAD WOMBAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!!!!

I think it was a really, really late term abortion.

(This photo makes garage mahal hungry)

Garage Mahals Road Kill Korner

So Garage Mahal keeps emailing me and begging me to put this new line in the store. Designer Jess Eaton uses Road Kill in her designs because she doesn't believe in killing animals to get feathers or furs.

You can see a road kill chicken wing in the hat in the photo.

Garage doesn't care about the designs. He just wants an in on the fresh meat.

Garaghe Mahal's Road Kill Korner

Mrs. Garage put up a big road kill feast to celebrate Obama winning.

She just loves to taste it straight from the pot.

Yummy.

Sophie's Choice of Ferret

We did a lot of errands while we were in Seatuck. Since we don't drive we tagged along with Colleen while she had to do stuff. One of the things she had to do is go get lots of dog food for her two huge Labs. So we went to Petco Discount and while she was shopping we wandered around looking at the pets they had for sale. This was a giant pet food store in a mall and had a bunch of stuff for sale.

They had a whole tropical fish department with all kinds of stuff. Reptiles. Snakes. Turtles. Birds. And a ferret Aushwitz.

They had this big tank filled with ferrets. There must of been twenty of them. They were all asleep and laying on top of each other. It looked like one of those movies you saw about concentration camps. It was pretty disgusting.

Who wants to buy a dead ferret.

Well except for Garage Mahal.

Garage Mahal's Roadkill Korner

Garage Mahal is starting to get worried. I mean he is a big Obama supporter and things aren't looking good for him after this last debate. And the Libya thing is blowing up. And he is down in all the polls.

I mean the guy is looking like roadkill.

Just sayn'

Garage Mahal Road Kill Korner

Garage Mahal has all the luck.

He has a new BMW and it goes really fast. So fast that he managed to generate a lot of roadkill. He is using it while he drives Tammy Baldwin around the state on her campaign.

What can you do?

I didn't know that Garage Mahal could run that fast...

I mean usually he likes the dead ones.

Boy is my asshole sore!

And by that I do not mean that spinelli is upset.

OHHHH SHIIITTT!!!!! HEADLIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner

Garage has started posting on his website again and he is taking a page out of Dust Bunny Queen's book and started posting recipe's.

Most of them are from his Grandma Curlie Sue Lambau Mahal who first introduced him to the joy's of roadkill.

First up: Hanger Off the Studebaker Steak with Onions.

A real crowd pleaser.

Garage Mahals Road Kill Korner

Our old buddy Garage Mahal was roadkill himself when he got flattened by a Green Bay Packer Linebacker when he ran onto the field. It was part of the Occupy Lambeau Field by Packers fans who want to protest that the team is a dirty corporation and not a collective run in the Soviet Manner.

Poor Garage was bumped and bruised and is banned from the Staduim so he will not get to see the Giants beat his team when they play in two weeks. Just as well as he will cry when they get slaughted by Big Blue.

Road Kill Indeedy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Garage Mahals Road Kill Korner

Garage emailed me and asked that Allie and AllenS give us the full recipes for vension sausage since he was successful this hunting season.

His recipe starts out with:

Get one 1986 Impala with a full tank of gas.

Garage Mahals Road Kill Korner

You have to be tough to get your own series on Trooper York.

Like Marilyn Munster, Laura Bush, Joe and Marilyn, the Berenstain Bears and many others. But some people are too dense to know they have their own series.

They are about as aware as a dead armadillo in the middle of the road.

Jeeeez.

Garage Mahal's Roadkill Korner

Hey I hear that Garage Mahal is taking the evil blogger lady and her consort out for dinner!

Cool!

I hear someone ran over a squirrel this week!

Garage Mahal Road Kill Korner

Garage was going to the demonstation today but he got side tracked. They were busing in so many people from out of state that there was ton's of roadkill and he couldn't pass that up.

He even found some for the kiddies.

You got to start them young. Just sayn'