I would much rather be a cartoon character.

So they could tickle my elmo. Just sayn'

Shiver my timbers and tickle my Elmo!

"Hey get out of here.'

"Can't you see I am busy!"

"Enough of this bullshit."

"Let's go girls. It's time to tickle your Elmo!"

Shiver my timbers and tickle my Elmo!

Madison Cheeseater Post Dispatch, March 13, 2010
The funeral and memorial service was held today for the University of Wisconsin Law Professor who had committed suicide due to allegations regarding undergraduate tickle parties. Professor Elmo Lee was found hanging from a fixture in his office after the University Provost announced that it would be investigating allegations that the tenured professor had coerced and harassed his graduate students into allowing him to tickle and otherwise make free with their bodies in order to maintain their place in academia.

Strangely none of his colleagues attended his memorial even though he was often seen splitting a hamburger and a small beer with other of his parsimonious brethren. What was remarkable was that a large contingent of the local waiters and bartenders did attend and took the opportunity to both spit and dance on his grave.

Shiver my timbers or tickle my Elmo

Drudge Report March 12, 2010

Additional reports have surfaced regarding the depravity to found at the Law School at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. This copy of an invitation to a freshman mixer at the house maintained for the graduate teaching assistants of Professor Elmo Lee who had recently taken his own life after word had come down that he was being investigated by the University Provost.

This invitation shows Professor Lee indulging in sexually tinged horseplay with several of his students. Or perhaps it was sexually tinged bird play.....developing.

Shiver my timbers and tickle my Elmo!

Drudge Report, March 12, 2010

The nations attention has turned to the epidemic of sexual harassment and depravity that is tickling. Due to the widespread notoriety of Congressman Massa who was forced to resign his post because of his "pattern of widespread and systematic tickling of his young male aides and pages that lead to a firestorm of criticism on Capital Hill."

This episode has led too many people coming forward and tell their tales of unwanted sexual tickling by superiors. The shame was to much for an Law Professor at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. Professor Elmo Lee a noted expert on sexual harassment law was accused by several of his students of having them over to his house for pot smoking and tickle orgies.

Professor Lee was found hanging from a fixture in his office by a colleague who neglected to call the police because she needed to write a blog post about wilted petunias........developing.

Shiver my timbers and tickle my Elmo!

"Hey Fella's look, a cake."

"Yes Happy Birthday Commander Mchale."

"Thank you Captain, I really appreciate it. Hey is it one of those cakes where some one jumps out of it...I don't know...like a winsome young Filipino Mess Boy....that would be cool....hey this icing taste funny....oh well thanks anyway."

"Don't be upset Skip. You can tickle One-Adam-Twelve over there till he pees his pants."

"Now you're talking!"

Shiver my timbers and tickle my Elmo!

Captain Wallace Burton Binghamton: I've got you this time Mchale. You are under arrest for tickling Ensign Parker.

Lt. Commander Quinton McHale: What are you talking about Captain. It was a tickle party. That's a old navy tradition. Why John Paul Johns tickled his crew. Oliver Hazzard Perry said we have met enemy and they are ticklish. Why even Captain Morgan had a few glasses of rum and shivered a few timbers in Davy Jones Locker. You can't arrest me.

Captain Wallace Burton Binghamton: I can and I will. You are going to Leavenworth where you will be alone shivering your timbers by yourself in solitary.

Lt. Commander Quinton McHale: Crap. With my luck I will probably live till I am ninety.