"GO GET A HAIRCUT!"

No that's not what Archie said to the Meathead. That was my wife yelling at me today. You see I have naturally curly hair and the wife hates it when it gets too long. So she sends me out to get it cut. She is getting her hair cut tomorrow and I hate to tell you how much that is going to cost. We are going to the City to get it done and she wanted me to get my hair cut there. NO WAY!

I can't justify spending that kind of money on a haircut. I got my same seventies razor cut the Damien used to give to Scott Baio back in the day. Drives her crazy. Which is a feature not a bug. But I am not going to pay a ten times more to get my hair cut in the City.

Unlike the dogs that Meade molests I am on a short leash

The wife is keeping me on a short leash. She doesn't want me to sneak off and rob a pizza store or something. So on our way back home from the doctor yesterday she made me get a haircut. We were walking past the place and my

We go in and I get my usual 1970's razor cut. I tell Damien to be careful because I am taking blood thinners and I don't want to bleed out in the barber chair. He actually puts in a new razor which he hasn't done since 2007. Anyway he was talking in his usual mixture of broken English and Italian. Funny enough he has a pacemaker too! It seems everybody that enjoys Italian food has a pacemaker.

After we left the wife said "What a nice man." "Yeah he is a good guy. He finally got over moving from Washington DC and leaving the priesthood. That was a real pain in the neck." As usual nobody had any idea what I was talking about.