"Please Dr Welby, I need those birth control pills. All the kids at school are doing it and I can't be left out."
"No Bridget you don't mean that. So what if everyone else is doing it. You don't want to be like them."
"Yes I do. I want to do it with my boyfriend. If I don't he will leave me for the hussy with the red hair who will do it with anyone."
"Now, now you are not thinking right. Plus no contraceptive is 100% effective. You are taking a chance at getting pregnant and ruining your future."
"Well Dr Welby if you don't give me the pills I am going to run away to Seattle to live with the Starsky and Hutch guy and the Keith Partridge impersonator."
"I just can't do it Bridget, but perhaps I can offer an alternative."
"What's that?"
"Well didn't you learn how to play the recorder in your freshman music class?"
"Yes, yes I did. I learned to play the good ship lollipop."
"Well that will be very helpful. I want to teach you a new technique that will help you keep your boyfriend. I call it the Beohm maneuver. Lock the door."
