What would give you a splinter in your twat?

Woody was at this lowest point. He had not been able to finance a movie for quite a while. Even the people in France were tired of him.

He was still living with his ex-girlfriends adopted daughter. In fact they got married and a had a few kids of their own. But that didn't stop Woody's mad sexual obsessions.

He would fly around from bird house to bird house. To peep in on young girls hoping to find them naked.

He even spied on his ex wife. But a funny thing happened. He was almost sure she saw him. He thought she was posing for him.

Maybe she wanted some more of his woodpecker...wood pecker.

(Walter Lantz, The E True Hollywood Story of Woody Woodpecker)

Happy Mothers Day!!!!!!

Happy Mothers Day to all of you mothers out there and to all of our mothers. I was very busy in the store and also had to take time to stop off and see my Mom today. She had a barbeque and I stopped by for a bit to visit but had to get back to the store. I will go for a proper visit during the week.

In honor of Mother's Day I want to have this poll.

Who is your favorite Mother?

Drunk Philly fan makes fool of herself

Kim Delaney former TV bimbo from NYPD Blue made a fool of herself recently while making a speech. A Philly native she had somehow got advance warning of how bad the Eagles would suck it this week.

Oh and that Michael Vick had broken his hand slapping a puppy but had to pretend it happened in the game so he could get workers comp.

Congratulations to the Eagles and their convict dogkiller quarterback.

Congratulations to AJ and rest of the Eagles fans. I know your nipples are all hard because you beat my Giants but we will see you in the playoffs.

In the meantime we are getting a bunch of pit bulls ready to put on the defensive line.

Did you have a Nightmare....

Where all the commenters got together to have a belated bachelor party for Meade and we let AJ book the stripper.

Never let a guy from Philly book a stripper.

I kinda miss AJ....but I know he is busy!

He is still busy partying after the Phillies won the series two years ago.

He completely missed the fact that the Yankees beat them last year.

He still thinks it's Memorial Day!

Hey ricpic, Kim has real blonde hair.

ricpic said...
Top and bottom, the two natural blondes. What can I tellya, blondes have it.

It's just not her hair. But that wigis 100% natural blond hair.

You know you love the Shiskas!

That's not to say that Gretchen of the Real Housewives of Orange County is not a classy chick!

Just sayn'

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,Than are dreamt of in your philosophy

Now I am a little light in the pedantic erudition department, so if you want that you need to check out Theo's blog (no offense dude). I am a groundling as it were. Always will be.

But when I think deep thoughts, I ponder the words of the great philosophers.

The greatest of whom is Theresa Guidice of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey."

She dropped two pearls of wisdom last night in the superb opening episode. As you know she has minimal high regard for Daniele who she so aptly called a "Prostitution Whore" last year. Anyhoo this two faced twat who owns a clothing store and who pretended to be friends with Daniele is at a party with her drunken husband. This dude was totally wasted. But he manages to babble that he hates Danielle because she hooked up with a buddy of his and screwed him over. This afforded Theresa the opportunity to offer this pearl of wisdom:

"She must have had sex with 500 guys. Her hole must be so big .....it must be as big as the Lincoln...... no the Holland.....no what's the longest tunnel?"

Superb.

Then she further enlightened us. She gave us the perfect description of the troubled Daniele, who as she so delightfully put it:

"She put's the cunt in cuntradiction."

Indeed.

Hey who would you like to show your little friend?

Which one of the Real Housewives would you like to bang. The choices:

Gretchen from the OC

Theresa from New Jersey

Kim from Atlanta

Bethany from NYC

Tamra from the OC

You make the call.