I'm.....back!

Well I am back from my little mini-jaunt to Florida. It was only a couple of days but let me tell you I am a creature of habit and I don't like changes in my routine.

We went too the beach and as I have said previously, we had a sun block accident. Normally I slather myself with 75 sunblock until I am entirely covered like a turkey that was basted in butter. The wife always mocks me but I tell her I don't care because I don't want to look like a rock lobster.

Well the wife decided not to pack the sunblock because we were traveling light because we were only going for a couple of days. I mean she had four pairs of shoes but the little bottle of sunblock didn't fit. When we got the beach my granddaughter gave me the sunblock 70 spray which looks like that Pam spray you use to grease up a pan before you make eggs if you are a lazy bitch and don't want to melt butter. "It's great grandpa, just spray it on and you won't get sunburn." So I spray it on and try to rub it on the spots I didn't reach. Well we discovered later that because of the wind a lot of the spray just went out into the air and didn't do jack shit for me. So I have one area that's fine and other areas that are as red as Dennis Leary's face after a night of drinking.

Not quite as bad as the cutie in the photo but pretty bad. The worst is my ankles which for some reason are really burned. So it is torture to walk around and socks hurt like a sun of a bitch.

Thank God I am home safe in Brooklyn where the sun never shines too brightly. Now I am going for some panaele sandwiches and prosciutto balls for lunch. I deserve it. After being on safari.

Survivor, Fort Lauderdale.

Florida sucks!

Well I have been here one day and I already got a monster sunburn. The wife and the kiddees wanted to go to the beach. Now I am much more of a cool dark bar kind of guy. I have that pasty white Irish skin which is well suited for bogs and forests not the beach.

Now I normally bring 75 sunblock and slather it all over my body like I was buttering myself up to be baked. Which I am so to speak. But they had this new spray stuff to use and they swore it was just as good as the creme. Not so much.

Anyway I have slathered myself in aloe cream so I am ok. I am going to self medicate at dinner and I soon will be feeling no pain.

But don't think I forgot you guys. On our way to the beach we stopped at an alligator farm and I got you all a baby alligator. Just like my Uncle V did for me in 1965, Just email me your address so I can send one off to you. Just remember, when you get tired of it don't flush it down the sewer. We don't want anymore alligators in the sewers if we can help it.