New York Stories

Jerry walked down the steps. It had been a hard day. Working as a bookkeeper in a furniture store was not exactly exciting. It was a few extra shekels. Making ends meet in 1976 was not easy. So $50 is worth a day’s boredom and frustration. It was just a pain in the ass to trek all the way out to Forest Hills and then back to Borough Park. But at least it was a straight shot on the F Train.

The platform was deserted as usual. Even though it was a cold winter’s day it still reeked of urine. The tile walls were covered in graffiti. It had never been this way when he was a kid. People were proud of their neighborhood. They kept things up. Forest Hills was an expensive place as far as those things went. That didn’t spare it. These “artists” came to every station and spray painted their tags everywhere. It made everywhere look like a slum. Maybe they did it so they could feel at home.

The F train pulled into the station. Oh no. It was one of those new R-46 models. Supposedly it was graffiti proof. All hard plastic seats that were easy to scrub unlike the older trains. The only problem was that the doors were locked. So you couldn’t go from car to car. You needed to have an escape route. Everybody knows that. If you weren’t ready you were a victim.

Jerry walked on to the train and put his head down. It was empty at his end of the car. He pulled out his pocket Talmud and prepared to study. He had a long ride and he would have time to be ready to talk with his friends that night.

Meeting of the Falsely Abused Women’s Club Sitting around talking when the Rainbow Is Enuf!

“Welcome to this episode of the Meeting of the Falsely Abused Women’s Club Sitting around talking when the Rainbow Is Enuf! I am your host Greta Nussbaum and tonight’s special guest is Michelle Fields who as you know was victimized by a Nazi. Welcome Michelle.”

“Thank you Hedda. You are an inspiration to all of us.”

“Thank you Michelle. But then I was actually abused and not making stuff up. Never mind. Let’s go to our panel. First up Twana Brawley.”

“Michelle I can’t believe that the racist po po dropped the charges against that chalk faced skinhead that be so nasty. Isn’t it just like the white man’s justice to take the evidence of a videotape and a lack of physical bruising instead of a woman’s feelings into account? Let me axe you. After this experience don’t you feel like you were shit faced and in the bag?”

“Errrr actually no. I felt bruised battered and violated. I mean I know I was poking Trump but who is he to object to that. And who is his campaign manager to pull me away just because I had no right to talk to him at that time and was within the security zone that the Secret Service always mandates for Presidential candidates. I am a member of the news media. More importantly I am a women so the rules don’t apply to me.”

“Very true Michelle. I used to tell Steinberg that all the time. Then he would break my nose. Next up Crystal Magnum.”

“Chile I feel for you. There is nothing worse than not being believed when you is full of shit. It’s damn frustrating. I means they believe you whens you tell them theys got the biggest dick you ever seen but when you says fourteen lacross boys be raping you then you don’t gets paid. I though Obama was gonna fix that shit. Anyways why didn’t you flop on the floor and start to cry and moan. That always worked for me when my man came to collect his just due.”

“That is beneath my dignity as a journalist and a woman. Plus it didn’t work that time I tried it on Allen West so I went with the dignity ploy this time. It didn’t work. Trump has no dignity. So he didn’t cave.”

“Very true Michelle very true. We will get to our other panelist and more questions but first a word from our sponsors Planned Parenthood. We want you to be a part of us and we will take care of your fetus and want parts from them. We will be right back.”