Peter Campbell must die!

I mean what will Lorelai do when she finds out. The last anybody saw of her she was either getting butt fucked by the Bad Santa or giving a puffy drugged up Chandler Bing a handjob in that failed series about a phony SNL in LA that lasted about a month.

Now her sweet young innocent daughter is having her perky teats fondled by a 1960's advertising weasel for the prurient pleasures of a bunch of dirty old men on the internet who are whacking their bags looking at her porcelain young ti......errr.....errr.....let me rethink this for a minute.

Problems of a shopkeeper!

So while I was in the showroom I decided to do some business while we were waisting time looking at free shoes.

We decided to take in some shoes for the store. You see we always have shoes inside the dressing room for the girls to try on while they are trying on a dress. Then they can see what the look like. They are cheap generic shoes from Target or Zappos or whatever but it seem like everyday these girls ask to buy the shoes even though they are like fuckin' bowling shoes since so many people have worn them and shit. So why not have some shoes that they can try on and actually buy. But that is a win-win situation.

Now buying shoes is a pain in the balls. We have done it before. You have to buy a case which in our sizing sucks because you get stuck with a 6,7 and 71/2 which will not fit my customers. The way this company breaks it down you can get a case of six or a case of twelve. They think they are going to discontinue the ones I wanted. I wanted to get a case of six with the sizes 9,91/2,10,11,12. That is my size range. But I also need size 8 and 8 1/2. So that means I have to buy an twelve pack that has an
7,7 1/2,8,8 1/2,9,9 1/2,10,11,12. That means I would be stuck with the 7 and 7 1/2 at fifty bucks a pop is a hundred dollar bill on the shelf gathering dust. In three colors that is $300 sitting there rotting. The sales lady goes "Oh somebody coming with a friend will buy them you don't to worry." Yes I do, I can't freeze $300 I can put into Spanx or handbags or fucking beer for that matter. What would you guys do?

My decision was to buy the 12 pack in black because black always sells the best in shoes. We are getting the red and the purple in the 6 pack of the bigger sizes. So I am only putting $100 on the shelf in the long run and the rest will sell pretty well. I can always order a smaller size in the red or purple. But I like to hedge my bets as much as I can.

Why do I have to know so much about women's fucking shoes!

(By the way girls, what do you think about the shoes....in black, red, or purple)

I hate fuckin' shoes!!!!!!!!!!!

We spent all day fucking getting shoes.

One of the perks of being a quasi-celebrity is that you get free shit. Lisa loves to wear Sacha London shoes so we called them up and told them we would be wearing them in photo shoots and we wanted a particular style and color. They told us to come up and get some free pairs to wear because they want their stuff out there.

So we call the car service guy and get him to drive us to the city and wait outside while we were up there. It was supposed to be a quick in and out. Right. Like that was going to happen.

Four hours later we walk out with about seven or eight pairs. She couldn't make up her mind. The were giving us four free pairs so I just went to girl "She can't make up her mind and when that happens I tell her to get them all. I can't spend any more of my precious time on this. I only have so much time left on earth and I don't want to spend three more hours of it choosing between a flat and a pump." Listen to me I sound worse than Titus.

The girl goes "No problem" and since she was charging me the wholesale price it was no big fucking deal. So we got them all.

These are some of the shoes but not the colors that we got.

Four fucking hours.

Pete Campbell must die!

Now he is sitting on his couch in his office rubbing one out while he dreams that Rory will be coming in with a trenchcoat and wearing nothing else but pearls and stockings and a garter.

It is not enough that he got his cocktail weiner in her Stars Hallow a couple of times but now he has to throw it in our face.

It was just like all the times that fuckin' old douche Bob Hope used to fondle Joey Heatherton's ass while they were on a USO tour or something.

It just ain't right!

So it was you!

It had to be somebody form Texas!

Oh and not that anything is wrong with that!

Oh and we will be on Anderson Cooper as well.

Just one big problem.

Lisa keeps calling him Cooper Anderson.

Today I found out that Ann Curry is in a lot of trouble!

We were working with the publicity people and we got a tentative schedule of the stuff we have to do.

We are filming a shot with WPIX News with tips for plus size shopping. It will be taped and shown later closer to air date. That's Friday morning and we are scrambling to prepare.

Then the big news. We will be appearing on the Today show with Stacy on Tuesday May 28th on the day of the show premiere.

Ann Curry should be shitting your pants.

Magic Carpet Ride

The Turning of the Earth

It was the last day.

They rode into the courthouse square and  got down from their mounts.  The General was in pain and gingerly walked up the steps . His staff slowly mounted the steps of the porch and halted at the door. General Lee went in alone and took a seat at a small oval table at the window.

They waited patiently on the porch for the Yankees to arrive. The end had come. There was no need to rush it.

Colonel Taylor stood rigid and erect as he waited. Eyes on all the rest.  A hawk standing vigil over  squabbling chicks. Vengeful and implacable faces twisted in agony and despair.  Captain Young stood swaying from side to side with his anger barely in check. Surgeon Guild was chewing fiercely on a chaw of tobacco. Sending a quick splatter of juice contemptuously out to the courtyard as if he could smother this evil day in a spray of foul smelling spittle. None of them worried Taylor. He had his eyes on Edwards.

Captain Edwards had been chief of Scouts for the past two years after the General had met him at Gettysburg. Served with General Hood in his Texas Calvary before Lee had met him.  Lee was always buoyed by his boundless  ferocity and rock solid determination. He could depend on him to not fail him like Stuart had. What would he do in defeat? At the surrender. At the end.

Could he stay his hand and bend his will to the discipline that Marse Robert demanded of his subordinates.  Had this final indignity loosened those bonds enough to release an inner demon on the Yankee high command that would soon be within grasp.

It was worrisome.

Undercover Of The Night

I have to watch my step!

This publicity process is going to be very hard for me. We had media training and they told us that we can't respond to every attack that people will make against us. You know how hard I find that to be. I love a good blog war. I take no prisoners. But I can't indulge myself because it could hurt the show and the product we are promoting.

For example there is site called Refinery 29 which did a post about the store. It was very positive and some of the comments were too. But there were a few that were not and I gave a few gentle love taps. Then this guy posted this comment:

stopkidding 2 comments

There is a difference between being 'plus size' and boarder line obese. One of the problems with WNTW is that they insist upon dressing very large women in things they should not be wearing, such as sleveless tops,skirts above the knee, and clingy fabrics. Just because it comes in a large size, does not mean one should be wearing it. At least in the photo above, the print is somewhat slimming, but more importantly, the large knees, large arms and nauseating cleavage are covered. The woman looks stylish without being a spectacle. Yes, designers should be more mindful of large women because we have become a country of lazy over-eaters, not to mention we do not like to be held accountable for anything, so that is why we hear excuse after excuse for overweight and obesity. That is why there is such a push to make fat the new thin. However, large women--and men for that matter--have to cover up fatty, large, flabby arms, stomachs, thighs, etc. Large, flat knees should be covered, too, as none of these attributes are flattering, and they will all draw negative attention, so the beautiful clothes will be overlooked. There is a certain size, however, where nothing will be flattering and nothing will fit right regardless of who designs it. That is not the fault of the designer or manufacturer. That is the fault of the person. It is a little tiring seeing large women on all of these shows being patronized and told that they can dress in the same things that small women wear as long as it makes them feel good. It is not always about feeling good. It is about facing the truth and wearing what is appropriate.

So I want to go in there and smack him around a little. But I can't. The publicity people would shit themselves and Stacy would get really mad. She says to let it roll our back and ignore it. Not to fight. Of course that's what everybody said about the show runner and that was fucked up. So I am going to do a modified limited hang out on it. I will not directly confront people but I will sock puppet it up and fuck up assholes like this douche. It is funny that he praises our clothes while attacking women who are plus. It is obvious he hates women. Or his life. Or his mother.

And if anyone wants to go give people like that a couple of shots to gin up controvesy and hits I would like that just fine.

We are going to do this undercover of the night.

Mother's Day Memories.....

Jenna Bush said....

I love my Mom. She is the coolest. She taught me how to roll a spliff and chew tobacco. She gave my first birth control and took me to get my first tattoo. When she is hanging out with girls Robyn, Anita and Joey they are a fuckin' hoot!

I hope I will have as much fun in my life as she does.

Every time I am on stage she hikes up her shirt and shows me her tits. I just point and laugh!

I love my Mom!

Mother's Day Memories

I lost my mother at a young age to a tragic accident when my parents returned to the old country to get an inheritance and had an unfortunate incident with some villagers with pitchforks and torches.

So my Aunt Lily was like a Mother to me. She taught me how to dress but still allowed me to develop my own style. She never said a word when I started buying bullet bras that gave me such beautiful pointy tits. It was like she never even noticed them.

But Uncle Herman noticed them.

Mother's Day Memories

Rex Ryan said....

I love my Mom. She was the greatest. She would drive me to all my practices and supported me and my brother in our obsession with football.

Speaking of obession's I remember how Mom always wanted me to take care of her feet. After a long hard day of waitressing she would come home and I would rub her beautiful slim feet with fragrent oils and baums. I would lovingly paint her toenails with her special polish and trim them when they got too long. And I would braid her beautiful foot hair as she was quite hirstute.

Mom is gone now but every time I watch the "Lord of the Rings" I burst out crying.

J-E-T-S...JETS....JETS....JETS!

Mother's Day Memories

Titus said....

My mother was my biggest fan. She always loved me and supported me even when I ran around the house and pulled up my blouse and called myself Charo and went choocie-choocie.

I was my Moms favorite. I love to come back and take her out for din-din at a fabulous supper club where we have fish fry and samba dancing.

But my Great Grandma was very mean. She hated me. She was a hateful mean old lady. She was still alive when I was a kid and she was such a bitch.

She did make a mean cheese cake. In fact she was famous for it.

But if she didn't like you....she made it out of snot.

Tits.

Mother's Day Memories

ricpic said...

About once a year my Mom would put her hands on her head and flex first her left biceps and then her right biceps while smiling slyly. Always brought down the house. That's correct, biceps is singular.

What the plural is I sure don't know.

Mother's Day Memories

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I always had to go clothes shopping with my mother. She was color blind and couldn't tell what things went together. It was my job to help her pick the colors that would look nice and not clash. After I moved out and went to college, she had to ask the sales ladies when I wasn't available to go shopping. Very frustrating for her.

Our shopping trips were always a lot of fun. I can't ever remember arguing or fighting. Buying clothes for me and for my mother and my brother (also color blind so he didn't care what we got him). We would go to lunch and later buy some See's Candy to take home to the guys.

I loved shopping with my mother and wish that she was still alive so we could go again.

PS I love leopard.

Mother's Day Memories

ndspinelli said...

Are you saying all moms aren't June Cleaver? I'm shocked. My bride is having a total knee replacement on 5/24. Her narcissistic, petty, loathsome mother has a couple walkers. my bride asked if she could use one for just a week or so knowing the extra one just sits there. Now, understand my bride has done EVERYTHING..EVERYTHING for this woman. But mom said, "when your brother visits he uses it to hang his sleep apnea gear." And, that lazy aasshole doesn't do shit.

My apologies for an angry downer comment but I'm just keeping w/ the theme of the post. My bride is taking her mom to brunch as we speak. Bozo brother is home scratching his nuts. Happy Mother's Day to all you Trooper women. Obviously you're all good mothers since you tolerate all us bad boys.

Mother's Day Memories

windbag said...
It's been fifteen years since my mom passed away. Her birthday is May 9, mine is May 8. We shared birthdays and Mother's Days over the years, all jumbled together. I never really thought about how few birthday cakes she had, just the leftovers from mine. I remember one May Day I hung a basket of flowers on her bedroom doorknob. She wasn't well, suffered depression and stayed in bed most of the time. I recall watching the basket off and on all day, hoping that she would find it. It eventually disappeared behind the door.

Despite her illness, she was a talented lady. She could kick the ever living shit out of a piano and did so all the time. We always had music going in the house. I used to stand down by the bass notes of the piano, waiting to hit the lowest note that fit whatever she was playing. Somewhere we have a recording of a wedding she played, where she played a pump organ, feet pumping the bellows and fingers flying over the keyboard.

About a week before my little girl was born, my mom suffered a stroke. I traveled up to Watkins Glen to be there, but she suffered a second, massive stroke and died before I got there. When I got there, they had a machine pumping her heart and pushing air in and out of her lungs, but she was gone.

Just before she passed, she motioned for my dad to hand her a tissue box and pencil. The initial stroke a couple of days earlier had left her almost speechless. On the back, she wrote the words to the chorus of an old hymn:

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe,
Sin had left a crimson stain,
 He washed it white as snow.

She handed it to my dad and slipped away. Fifteen years. She would have been 83 this year.

I whispered "Happy Mother's Day" on my way to work this morning.

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mothers Day to all of you who are mothers or who have a mother or who act like a mother.

Mothers Day is always problematic for us at Lee Lee's.  We get a bunch of mothers and daughters who come in together to shop. And since the commercials started to air we are getting a nice little bounce of people coming in to check us out.

Sometimes it is the yuppie girl who moved here from Kansas or Texas or some shit and they want to their Mom a cute shop where she can find something that will fit her. And they are going to be on TV! Imagine that Mabel?

But the absolute worst is the Mom and daughter who hate each other and are enduring another painful holiday where they are ripping strips of skin off of each other. The Mom will go"You would a lot better if you lost twenty pounds" or "I wish you were more like your sister." Then I have to grab Lisa before she bops the Mom in the snoot or something. We take the girl aside and tell her to come back on her own to shop and some of them have turned out to be our best customers.

We have two sets come in so far and they were both nice. Let's see how it goes.

Happy Mother's Day you Mothers!

The Summer of Boo Boo

We were a proud family. There was never a criminal in our family. We were law abiding bears. We slept in our own beds and didn't try to take things that belonged to other people. At least that is what we thought.

When the documentary filmmaker who made the prize winning film "Capturing the Berenstains" researched our family it all came out and we finally found out the truth. It seems that Grandfather Bear was a pervert as well. He ran wild in Berlin in 1931 where he would molest and then kill and eat young brown haired girls. It was such a terrible series of crimes that the police and the army pulled no punches in finding out who was committing these terrible crimes. They questioned everyone and brutalized the underworld until someone would give up this monster. The inspector in charge of the case Karl Lohmann finally found out that Grandpa Bear was the culprit when he realized that all the young girls had one thing in common. They had gone to the circus and loved the dancing bears. It was where Grandpa Bear would pick them out to follow home and do his dirty work.

The problem was that they could not prove anything. And Grandpa was a big star. The circus owner paid off the authorities. Inspector Lohmann got enough money to move to America and open a department store. They pinned the crimes on an ugly little man who nobody cared about and who everyone hated because he was always whistling this annoying tune. Grandpa bear was kept in chains until he could be flown to America and sold to Ringling Brothers. He met Grandma there and had Papa Bear on the day the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. All the records of his crimes were lost in the bombing during World War 2.

So no one knew we came of bad seed.

That was why Brother Bear became such a monster. It was his fate.

No one can escape their fate.

(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)

Betty Rubble is a dirty girl!

She can never get enough. Barney just can't keep up. She is a prehistoric kind of slut. She did Barney. She did Fred. She did Mr. Slate. She did the Great Gazoo. She is even starting to check out Dino for crying out loud.

Betty just can not get enough.

Betty Rubble is a dirty girl.

Marilyn's Diary

I really hated my cousin Eddie. What a little prick. And I mean that in every sense of the word.

He used to sneak around trying to get a glimpse of me in a compromising position. Not when I was naked. That would be normal. But when I was peeing. Or wiping myself. He was a total little freak.

When my Uncle Herman left us Eddie was really happy. He could go out all night and peep in windows and steal soiled underwear from the hampers of our neighbors. He was totally out of control. Aunt Lily didn't care anymore since she was getting her plastic surgery and hanging out with that Polish movie director and the weird hairstylist and the freaky lesbian whose family invented coffee or something. So little Eddie ran wild.

He was so out of control that they family had to have an intervention. They wanted to send him to military school but none of them would take him since werewolves were not allowed in the army. They were afraid of them attacking other soldiers in the shower or the foxhole or something. Don't get me wrong, many werewolves served in the military. Admiral Halsey was a well known lycanthrope from way back. But if they didn't ask he wouldn't tell. Eddie always told. So they couldn't put him in the military school.


So they decided to send him to Japan to study the martial arts. Aunt Lily thought that would give him some discipline and training that would allow him to restrain his wolf like nature and his love of urine. It seemed to work. He stayed there for a while and came back and ended up in Hollywood. Aunt Lily introduced him to some of her old friends and became a popular B-movie actor in Kung Fu flicks for a while. Now he is a fat loser with a reality show.

Of course that is not such a big deal. There are a lot of fat losers with reality shows.  But he is happy I guess. And so am I.

Cause he ain't sneaking into the laundry room and stealing my panties.

The ducks are happy!

Last year I bid and won on a bucket of port. Six bottles of premium port in different flavors. They think I am going to do the same thing this year.

The little bastards got drunk out of their faces.

And when I complained?

They told me to put it on their bill.

You can never have a completely great day!

You can never have a completely great day.

We started out the day with a busman's holiday. Lisa had to take me shopping as we are going to be going to the American Cancer Society Pink and Black Tie Gala. Stacy is the host and we are going to support her like we did last year when I got all that port and the Frank Sinatra photo for my wall. They have a silent auction where you can bid on donated items for the charity. It is a lot of fun and you can get some good stuff and it is for a great cause.

Anyway we went to Men's Warehouse and I got a couple of suits and some shirts and ties and a belt and some shoes and those gay handkerchiefs for my pocket. We had to get back to the store for 3pm because Lisa had a phone interview about the show. We are starting to do interviews. Some are on the phone and some will be in person. We are set up for "The Today Show" and "Live at Five" on Channel Five and Anderson Cooper.

Of course Lisa keeps calling him Cooper Anderson.

Anyway I needed clothes for this shit and we stocked up. But then when we got back they had emailed us to tell us that the website for "Big Brooklyn Style" has gone live. And of course it is fucked up!

The first photo they had of Lisa was horrible. You see they take continuity shots every day to record the outfits we are wearing in case we have to wear them again later if they need to re-shoot something. So I started fucking with the kid who takes the shot by making faces and weird hand signals for his shot. Lisa picked up on it and started doing it too! Don't you know that they picked one of them for the website! This is the photo that so many of these bloggers or journalists will pull down for their stories and she looks like a crazy woman! I called and raised hell about it and they changed it.

My photo is even worse. I am behind the counter wearing a pair of broken glasses working on the computer. I look like a jerk off. But I didn't tell them to change it because I don't care. Let them pull that down. Let them pull me off. I just don't care about this. But it does suck and shows how incompetent these people really are.

Lisa was really freaking out about the photo. They changed it to a slightly better one and she sort of calmed down a little.

But you can just never have a completely great day!

We have to keep working....

The filming is officailly over but we still have some voice overs to do.

Today we went for media training.

I get to meet a bunch of airhead tv people and so called print journalists.

Oh Joy.

You know how much I love journalists.

It is gonna be a bumpy ride.

Whose that girl?

Now this is a really easy one.

Her husband always tripped up as he was chasing her around while she was cleaning her house in her underwear.

And it wasn't that drip Don Draper.

Whose that Girl?

Commenter Memories Number 138 Seven Machos likes to feel pretty!

He not such a mean guy.

He likes to fee pretty.

And he loves his dollies.

He just plays a tough guy on the internets.

Commentor Memories Number 137 Allie votes in the recall election

Allie and all her peeps went all out in the recent Wisconsin recall election. They got a bus to bring everyone to vote against that nogoodnick Scott Walker.

I wonder if it was a Magic Bus?

Commenter Memories Number 136 Dust Bunny Queen goes back to TOP!

This time it is personal!

Hey we are like shit.......

we are spread all over.


We made Italian Vogue where they talk about the show. That's pretty cool.

Commenter Memories Number 135: The Crack Emcee don't worry about the ho's?

The Crack Emcee don't worry about the ho's because they always be up in his bidness. That's right bitches.

Holy Crap...Pete Campbell is sticking it in her Stars Hollow!

It is really weird when people end on TV shows where they don't belong.

This week on Mad Men that douche Pete Campbell was banging his neighbors wife the young girl from "Gilmore Girls." WTF? Is he gonna go to pitch an account in Brooklyn Heights and have a three way with Patty Duke and her identical cousin?

She lives in my neighborhood you know. She even came in the store once.

Didn't buy anything though.

Bitch.

I take it back.

I hope he gives her herpes or something.

Did they have herpes back in 1966?

And so it begins........

I'am a scared Norton!

Deep thoughts ..... by Titus

Titus said...
I created a process called the burb/fart combo.

How is works is I burb and then immediately after the burb I rip a fart.
I complete the process by saying, "combo".

The burb/fart combo-try it, it's fun. Lifting the leg or squatting while ripping the fart can add additional fun.

Also, lifting arms while burbing can create enjoyment.

 tits.

Can't we all just get along....

I am glad to see that the Crack Emcee and Allie can kiss and make up here and not fight like they do at TOP.

We try to get along with everyone here.

Even Spinelli.

Practice makes perfect .....again!

We had to close the store on Monday because we had spend the whole day learning and practicing our spontaneous lines that we have to say on camera.

You see they take things we said in the filming and rewrote them and we have to say them in the talking heads because they cut that footage out of the show.

Lisa is redoing the opening for the seventh time because they need to chop one second off tof the rough cut.

I don't care how much we have to repeat it but I just wish they would be more off the cuff. That is the most fun for both us and the audience.

Tomorrow we will film all day and we have to get all the bytes they need in one day as they will not be filming again.

Problems of a shopkeeper

Friday a woman came into the store with a chip on her shoulder. She was angry and upset and didn't want any help. The new girls didn't know what to do. So Lisa stepped in.

She helped her look at some tops and some dresses. She didn't find anything she liked. She didn't like the cut. Or the style. Or the print. Nothing was right.

So she decide to buy a bra. She had bought one from us three years ago. The wife went in the computer and found her size and brought a bunch of bras. The woman had taken off her shirt. And she goes. "You must hate me. I am so ugly." You see she had breast cancer. She had a radical mastectomy of one of her breasts. She had gained about 100 pounds due to the drugs and stuff she went through. She really hated herself and was very vocal.

"Everyone hates me. My husband asked for a divorce. My kids won't look at me. My own mother won't talk to me. Everybody hates me. No one will touch me." Lisa looked at her and said in a tiny little voice "I love you. I don't hate you. I will hug you. Once you put your clothes on."

The woman laughed. Lisa hugged her. She helped her figure out what bra would work with a built in balance for one of the breasts. She is living in a terrible place right now. But for a few moments she felt a little better.

That is a story we couldn't tell on the show. The camera couldn't go in the dressing room with the woman with her clothes off as she ranted and raged about her situation. We couldn't tell that story. We see it every day.

So when I hear people say that people who are overweight are just lazy and stupid and should just stop eating I want to say one thing.

 GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH ANDREW SULLIVAN"S DICK!!!!

Some dumb fucks just don't have a fuckin' clue.

What the fuck do you know?

Did you ever listen to someone spout off about something they know nothing about. It happens all the time. A reporter talks about what it is like to be a cop facing a life and death situation. A Mike Wallace or a Walter Cronkite talks about what it is to be a soldier. A guy like President Obama talks about what it is like to be a patriotic American. It is just a joke.

It is that way about fashion. I mean I was forced to learn a lot about fashion because of the store. Not the avaunt Gard runway bullshit but the down in the trenches selling ready to wear. Where the fucking rubber meets the road. I deal with weight issues every fucking day. I really hate when fucking idiots talk about something they nothing about. But I will not dive in to comment.

It's better to let Carrot Top perform. It's not really comedy. It is a tragedy really. But some people like to watch it. You just can't tell people anything.

It's so freaking crazy!

We had a crazy great day with so many of our great customers coming by to celebrate our five year anniversary. It was exhausting with every dressing room packed with people waiting to get in and try on clothes. Running around to get the right sizes. Serving food and drinks.

It was crazy but great because we did a great business so I can't complain. I told our new employees that I hope this is the way the store will be when the show hits. If every day is like this we will be crazy. Sunday and Monday we are going to spend with Stacy going over what we are going to film Tuesday. It's sixteen hours of prep work.

This photo is of Julie who is an executive producer, Stacy London and Lisa. It was taken a year ago when we finished the sizzle reel which they used to sell the show.

It's the home stretch.

It's been a crazy five years.....

Tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary of Lee Lee's Valise! It has been a crazy ride. Who thought when we opened that we would be the last ones standing and that we would have our own TV show. We are having a party and a sale as well that you can find out about on the website. Thank you for you kind words over the years and if you can't come by lift a glass with us and help us celebrate!

We are approaching periscope depth......

It looks like the publicity is going to hit soon as we have already got a mention on Perez Hilton. So people are going to start talking about it and publicizing it and more and more it is going to be out there. The commericals will start in two weeks or so and we are meeting with the publicist for "media training." You know the deep and abiding respect I have for journalists so this should be an interesting experience. What is going to be even funnier is that we will be treated much better by likes of Perez Hilton than by certain unnamed evil bloggers who are going to be a definite problem. Just sayn'

Sunny ...how I love ya....how I love ya

New York DailyNews (May 5,2012)

The Jersey mom accused of toasting her 5-year-old daughter in a tanning booth melted down yesterday, ranting that she’s an excellent mother and the victim of “fat and ugly” critics who are “jealous’’ of her beautiful bronzed body.

The New Jersey Nutjob — surprisingly thin-skinned despite countless hours spent roasting under UV lamps — spent much of the day staggering around her hometown of Nutley, slurring to trailing reporters that she’s a great mom and nobody understands her.

“There’s somebody out there, for my whole life, that doesn’t like me because they are jealous, fat and they’re ugly,” Krentcil told a reporter in a video interview outside her hair salon

The Eyes have it!

ricpic said... Us old folks appreciate the change to big font 

Just sayn'

Remembrance of things Pabst

So we had a tough day with a lot of employee problems and miscellaneous bullshit. We get a call from one of the girls who is a good friend of ours from the store who also ended up appearing on the show. Red Jen the jeweler lived in the neighborhood and used to shop in the store. As usual Lisa adopted her and I got stuck doing shit that I didn't want to do. Don't get me wrong. She is a great girl and a lot of fun in a good time redheaded Irish girl kind of way.

But one time she had to go on vacation and asked us to water her plants and take care of her pets. I said ok until we got to her apartment. It turns out that she had goldfish. Not a cat. Not a dog. Not a bird. FUCKING GOLDFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean fucking goldfish are supposed to die. And then you flush them. You win them in the little bowl in the game at the feast where you get the ping pong ball in the thing and the fucking goldfish dies before you get it home. So I says to Lisa "Let's just flush the scaly motherfucker here and now and come back in two week and put a new fucking goldfish in the tank." Of course she wouldn't let me do it. Fuck.

Anyhoo Red Jen calls and says to meet at Hanley's one of the oldest bars in NYC which is on the corner of my block. Irishmen have been getting piss drunk in there since the fucking Draft Riots. Of the Civil War. We used to go there all the time. I mean I used to go there at the time when I was a kid and it was a neighborhood joint where only neighborhood guys used to go. Now it is full of yuppie scum and hipster dofous cocksuckers.

We get there and Red Jen is sitting with a couple three of her friends. One of the girls had purple hair. And her boyfriend had a fucking derby. A fucking fucking derby. He had no idea what I was talking about when I asked him if was from Kentucky. Jumping Jesus.

Oh and to add to the fun it was karaoke night. And the Knicks were getting slaughtered by Miami. I am watching Lebron windmill dunk on Tyson Chandlers fucking knucklehead while some cunt is screeching out "Total Eclipse of the Heart." WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And man did the waitresses ever suck. And not in a good way like they used to do in the "Foxy Den." One of them marched up and down like fucking Oliver Hardy in the "March of the Wooden Soldiers" and kept telling me she wasn't my waitress. And the twat that was my waitress kept disappearing for twenty minutes at a time. What's up with that shit?

But you know why should I complain. The wife let me off the leash a little. I had about six pints of Guinness's, a rare cheeseburger and double order of tater tots so what the fucking fuck I can't complain. I mean I had to listen to Derby guy talk about his job and the cackling of the other fuckin'  twats about how cool Michelle Obama is but at least I got to hang out in a bar and have a few pints and a burger. It has been a while.

And you know what.

I don't fuckin' miss it in the least.

Especially some Mo singing "Footloose."

WAITRESS BRING ME ANOTHER PINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whose that girl?

She could have appeared in "I Claudius" but she loved a different Caesar so she spurned that offer. But she did give some pervs wood and not the Natalie type. Whose that girl?

Michael H has his say.....

Michael H put a particularly interest comment on the Junior Seau memorial thread. It goes like this:

Michael Haz said...
I love football, but I'm going to stop watching it if the NFL doesn't quickly do something to end the brain trauma that is hurting so many athletes after they retire.

The NFL needs to, today, issue a rule change the outlaws any hits above the shoulders. Period.

And this rule needs to remain in place until the NFL can definitively solve the problem of how to protect players' brains.

High school and college football programs need to do the same thing. "He got his bell rung; make him sit on the bench for the next series" is no longer a good coaching practice. It never should have been, but that's what is done. That, and a snort of ammonia from the trainer's kit are about all a player gets.

One of my heroes from the Packers' glory era is the late Lionel Aldridge. He was a magnificent athlete who had a personality that lit up any room he was in. He went from being a player to being a Packer's TV analyst, and was wonderful at that.

then there were signs of illness - mental illness that he and others stemmed form head trauma. He lost the TV gig, lost his family, became homeless for a time. Some loyal fans found him and got him into a medical treatment program, then a job working at the Post Office in Milwaukee.

The brain damage was too much and Aldridge, like Junior Seau and other former NFL players, took his own life.

The price it too high. This bullshit about "Hey, it's a violent game, you need a dress??" has to stop.


I really respect Michael H and his opinions but on this I think we have to disagree. Football is a dangerous sport. A dangerous choice for a career. Like coal mining. And being a police officer. The only difference is the tremendous rewards you get for being a football player. At the very least a full scholarship. So if you take that route you are accepting the risk. They can never make it safe enough that these things will never happen. Or that injuries will not accumulate to really fuck you up later in life. Football players get used up. Like Thoroughbred racehorses. Or greyhounds. But unlike those dumb animals they make the choice to take steroids or ped's and other things that shorten their life span. They get the big contracts and the cars and the girls. They must think it is worth it or they would quit while they are ahead.

I guess I am very libertarian on this issue. If we stop them from playing football (or boxing as blake suggests) it is a short slip down the slope to them banning my donuts and pizza because it makes you fat. People should do what they want to do. I wouldn't even outlaw steroids for that matter. If they want to do that they should be free to do so. We have too many rules as it is.

The bottom line is more policeman kill themselves every year than football players. We are not going to change the rules about being a cop.

If watching them with the current rules doesn't work for you than I can respect that. It is one of the reasons I don't watch hockey. All of the fighting is just bullshit. The enjoyment I get from that game is outweighed by my disgust at the rules. But I am not going to tell Hockey or it's fans how to run their game. I think it should be up to them. I don't watch and it doesn't seem to bother them all that much.

So live and let live. I think the game is just fine the way it is. Bad stuff happens. All the time. We can't control everything. It is not an issue of manilness or macho or anything like that. It is a question of choice.

You ask for it you get it.....

AllenS said... Sixty, If he could find a picture of Christie Brinkley bent over like that, I'd be all WOOOOO HOOOOO!

Stop Making Sense....

We spent the last two days doing the talking heads. The interviews they will splice into the show. Stacy London has been doing them with us personally. She comes the day before and we rehearse. Well actually Lee Lee rehearses since she has 99% of the lines. In the two episodes we did I had about three lines in each one. It's ok because the show has turned into "Dress Boss." Which is going to work out fine for us. If you love "What Not to Wear" you will love "Big Brooklyn Style." That is how they are selling it and I think it will be great because that is the show they created.

The one interesting thing is that do kind of respect me even though they don't use me much. In the script they have Lee Lee do a line and then have "Jim responds" or "Jim says something funny." They know I can come up something that they can use. Or something that is really great but they won't use because they are pussies.

But they also do kind of tend to delight in making me look like a stupid neighborhood dick. One line I have to say "Couture...I don't even know what that means." Just so youse guys know....I know what couture means. I just have to play along. I am not really a moron. I just play one on TV.

I am Elmer J Fudd. Millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.

 Just sayn'

Obama Celebrates One Year Anniversary of Getting Bin Landen

Glory Days.......RIP

I had a friend was a big baseball player
back in high school
He could throw that speedball by you
Make you look like a fool boy
Saw him the other night at this roadside bar
I was walking in, he was walking out
We went back inside sat down had a few drinks
but all he kept talking about was

Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

Well there's a girl that lives up the block
back in school she could turn all the boy's heads
Sometimes on a Friday I'll stop by
and have a few drinks after she put her kids to bed
Her and her husband Bobby well they split up
I guess it's two years gone by now
We just sit around talking about the old times,
she says when she feels like crying
she starts laughing thinking about

Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight
and I'm going to drink till I get my fill
And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it
but I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
a little of the glory of, well time slips away
and leaves you with nothing mister but
boring stories of glory days

Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days