You never know who will show up in the Valise!

So we left the door open today because the heat is on and the store is very warm and we wanted to cool it down a little. When we do that more people wander in off of the street. That is good and bad. Most of the time it is people who are just browsing or looking to come in from the cold. Today it seemed like it was mostly dudes. First the window washer came by. Then the guy who greases the gates. Some guy looking for a business card holder. A guy selling artwork from the back of his car. And this tall skinny dude who looks like he was homeless.

Now normally I am in the back at my desk and I come out when there is a dude in the store. So each time I pop out and check out what is going on. This tall guy was dressed very rough and dirty with a hat and a hood and he looked like he wanted to steal something. I looked closely at him. And I go: "Hey dude aren't you Nelson Van Alden?"

It was him or actually Michael Shannon which is the actor's name. He was buying a scarf. He pretty much was a dick. Stiff. Arrogant. A typical self entitled moron. One of the reasons I want to leave Brooklyn because all of these famous people are moving in to the neighborhood. You see I grew up with real gangsters. Not the ones who play them on TV. So we were not all that impressed. But we always try to be nice. We chatted while Lisa rang up the card. I was talking about how I have to explain what is going on because Lisa doesn't always follow the ins and outs of the show because she is texting or instagraming or some shit while it is on.

Last episode they depicted the murder of Dion O'Bannion. They implied that Van Alden was going to do it with a gun that Al Capone gave him. Everybody knows that Frankie Yale came from Brooklyn to kill O'Bannion while Scalise and Anselmi held his arms. It is one of the most famous hits in history.

So I say to him "You guys looked like you were going to pull a fast one. You made it appear that Van Alden was going to do the hit but you showed what really happened. It was one of the few times you followed what really happened. I know, I know artistic license." He goes "Boy you are a real history buff."

No I am just well informed. Ok I might have slightly encyclopedic knowledge of Mafia hits and Western gunfights but that is just my hobby. I just hate when they trash history and make up shit that is not as interesting as what really went down. When they invent characters instead of using the real people.

I can understand when people are socially awkward. Most of our customers are until they warm up. This guy warmed up a little at the end to the point that he agreed to take a photo. Lisa insisted because she wanted to post it on facebook and Instagram.

I left him with the words of wisdom I always tell people from TV when I meet them in person. "You know I met a lot of terrible people in my life. Mafia hit men. Burglars and thieves. Drug peddlers. But not of them are as bad as people who work in TV."

Hey nobody can be as big a dick as me. Just sayn'

Poll Question: Who do you want to be the Republican Presidential Nominee

Chris Christie

The Crack Emcee

Nene Leakes

Chutulu

Whose that girl from the sixties?

When I found this photo I mixed her up with another actress with a similar name. A regular on "The Love Boat" and other episodic TV shows in the 1970's she also was a game show regular. That fuckin Bill Cullen got a lot of trim. It must have been the glasses.

Who knew she had such a rockin' bod. I would have written her a mash note.

Whose that girl?

Whose that girl?

"Hi honey I hear you have a very appropriate name."
"Yes I do sailor. One thing though."
"What's that?"
"Stop touching your tits while you are staring at mine. That is very unsettling."

Packer's sign Flynn!

That's the ticket. That should take care of everything!

Just in time to play the Giants next week!

Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?

It is really tough for a parish when they are assigned a lousy pastor. The Brooklyn diocese has the bad habit of mixing it up and moving priests around just when they are really making a difference. You see there aren't that many good pastors and when they find one they often move him to a failing parish to prop it up. Of course the place he built up starts to go down hill because the next guy doesn't measure up at all.

The Parish I grew up in was Sacred Hearts and St Stephens on Hicks Street. Monsignor Delvecchio was the pastor for about thirty years all through the 1950's, 1960's and 1970's. The bishop wanted to move him but he was afraid of him. You see he was known as one of the "mafia" priests. Not that he was in the mafia but he buried a lot of hoods from out of his church. They made some pretty hefty contributions. His real power base was the fact that he went to school back in Italy with the Cardinal who became the Vatican Secretary of State. So it is who you know not what you know.

After he passed a way they had four different pastors in ten years. They moved guys in and out. I had moved on to St Agnes in the meantime as it was closer to our house and my Mom couldn't walk so far anymore. That church had the same pastor for twenty years but then the same thing happened. They had four different pastors in five years. One was the chaplain of the Fire Department but had to move because of that duty. Another left the priesthood. A third was a professor and left to teach at Notre Dame. Finally they put in this German guy who had spent thirty years in the Army as a chaplain. Big mistake.

You see the parish was run by Spanish ladies. In Brooklyn normally one ethnic group dominates the parish and the rest of us go along or you go somewhere else. Sacred Hearts was all Italian. St Mary's Star of the Sea was Irish. And St Agnes was Puerto Rican. This guy comes in and starts to tell them how to run things. You know. The fund raising. The parish dance. The coffee get together. When they told him this is how we do things he was all "Not anymore." So they all quit. Left the parish rudderless. He was out in a month. They brought in a new guy and it was back to business as usual. But you know what. The parish never recovered. It now shares a priest with three other churches.

Father Chris Cashman does a great job at St Mary's even though the bishop is always on his back. He has brought a lot of young families into the parish because they like the way he does things. He keeps the sermons short and to the point and he has been very good to me. He visited me in the hospital a couple of times and calls me every week to see how I am doing. In fact a lot of folks from church call or stop by to ask how I am. One of them who is a retired nurse comes by every day to take my blood pressure until I get my new fangled monitor. This is what people who don't belong to an active parish miss out on. And all of it can go away quick if people get apathetic or there is a bad priest who doesn't care and is just going through the motions.

This is what worries me about the new Pope. He might have the best of intentions and be a holy and good man. But if he just decides to turn things upside down he might lose a lot of people that have been the bedrock of the church for all these years. I mean look at the Anglicans. They went all socially liberal and are getting schisms left and right. I just pray that doesn't happen if Pope Francis goes off the rails. Because they can't just transfer him to the Bronx like they did with that Army guy. We are kinda stuck with him.

I got a little tired of the Chris Christie show this weekend

It was pretty tough watching the tongue bath that Chris Christie is getting on all the mainstream interview shows this weekend. Every Sunday program had him on and he was famously dissed in Time magazine.

I just can't listen to this nonsense anymore. The main stream media and the liberals are trying to stuff him down the throats of the Republican party and it is really wearing thin. He is too out in front and too many of us real conservatives can't stand him. He will be a distraction and a liability all the way through to the nomination. It is a good thing that he will be eliminated after the first few primaries so we can move on to more viable candidates.

New Blog Notice!

Lisa and I have started a new blog called "The Plus Daily Look" which I hope you will check out. I wanted to do a blogger set up so it would be easy to use to put up fashion posts. Also it would be an easy jump from "Sulia" where we can expand on thoughts and be more comphrensive post where we formerly limited in how many words we can use.

This is a different joint with a different sensibility and I hope you like it and will leave a few comments.

They are the regiment

To the fallen...

Thank you for your service...happy veterans day

Today's Gospel

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Luke 20:27-38. Some Sadducees, those who deny that there is a resurrection, came forward and put this question to Jesus, saying, "Teacher, Moses wrote for us, 'If someone's brother dies leaving a wife but no child, his brother must take the wife and raise up descendants for his brother.' Now there were seven brothers; the first married a woman but died childless. Then the second and the third married her, and likewise all the seven died childless. Finally the woman also died. Now at the resurrection whose wife will that woman be? For all seven had been married to her." Jesus said to them, "The children of this age marry and remarry; but those who are deemed worthy to attain to the coming age and to the resurrection of the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage. They can no longer die, for they are like angels; and they are the children of God because they are the ones who will rise. That the dead will rise even Moses made known in the passage about the bush, when he called 'Lord' the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob; and he is not God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive."

Is the Pope Catholic?

You have to wonder. I know I am not the only one.

Yeah, yeah I know it is the New York Times. But what some of the people interviewed have been saying is what I have been thinking ever since I have been reading what this new pope has to say.
I have been very sad because I have not been well enough to go to Mass. I have a friend who brings me communion on Sunday but I really miss my time at church. I miss sitting in the pew and listening to the stories every Sunday. Saying hello to all the other parishioners. Many of them have called or come to visit me or stopped Lisa in the street to ask about me. I feel like I am goofing off.

I hope to back there soon. Maybe by Thanksgiving.

Whose that girl in the interesting pose.

I bet Cody gets this one-two-three. Don't blow any smoke buddy you know who it is so we can't wait until the summer for you to figure it out.
Whose that girl?

Has Leisure Suit Larry ever been to Germany!

Enquiring minds want to know!

Dog photo's that Meade does not want you to see!

"AFLAC! AFLAC! AFLAC!"

What is the meaning of this Miss Moneypenny?

"What is the meaning of this Miss Moneypenny? We found this apparatus under your desk. Explain yourself."
"It is a personal satisfaction device. Q made it for me. I can't keep flirting with Commander Bond without release. I might be British but there is a limit."
"That is preposterous. Get rid of this immediately.'
"Fuck Q."

Twelve Years a Shave

I was a peaceable man. A free man. Living my life on the South Side of Chicago. But my peaceful life was about to come to an end.
Two burly thugs in camel hair coats and pear gray fedora's burst into my home. They grabbed and arm and dragged me out to a Packard touring car. "What's going on? Who are you? Why are doing this to me?" I cried in fear and frustration as I was tossed into the back seat.
"Shadup buddy. You will find out soon enough."
We drove through the cold and deserted streets to Downtown until we stopped in front of a hotel. I knew that hotel. It was Al Capone's headquarters. I didn't understand. Capone had just been jailed for tax evasion. Why was I here?
I was dragged up the stairs and throw into a library. Behind the desk sat a dapper little man with a waxed black Mustache. It was Frank Nitti. The new boss of Chicago.
"Sit down Guiseppi. You know who I am?"
"Yes sir."
"You might not know this but I used to be a barber before I went into the life. I need a new barber. You are going to work for me. You will come here every day. Shave me. Trim my hair. Trim my mustache. I can't be a Mustache Pete now can I?"
This was the beginning of my shame. My degredation. Service to an cruel and unfeeling master.
Twelve years a shave.

Whose that girl

She played like a Virgin even though nobody knew it was her. She drummed with the Indians and was not your huckleberry.

Whose that girl?

It's all there in Black and White

"Hello Trey it has been a while. How have you been. I have just been here fingering my pussy. I love to finger my pussy in the early evening. Or in the morning. Most anytime during the day. There is never a bad time to finger your pussy."
"What?"
"Yes at church might be a bad time tis true. Although the preacher seems not to mind all that much. Do you like to watch me fingering my pussy....Trey...Trey...why are you turning blue?" "Oh well I guess I will have to call the nurse again. This is getting tiresome. If you don't watch out I might turn cat-tankerous!"

Camel Toe Corner with a bonus

Who doesn't like a girl that is drunk and limber?

Well except for the homo's. You know what I mean. Just sayn' Not that there is anything wrong with that!

Plus any other bullshit disclaimers so the thought police don't arrest me.

Dog photos that Meade does not want you to see

After all this is how he won the heart of the savant of Madison Wisconsin.

Doggielingus.

Whose that girl?

She just about invented sex in the cinema and she made movies that are still sexy to this very day.

It is a little known fact that she was the long time lover of gangster Owney Madden and hid him out from the coppers when he was on the limb in California.

In her latter years she tried to be sexy and it was kind of sad but back in the day she was the total package.

Look at those boobs!

Whose that girl

Hail to the Thinskins!

Hail to the Thinskins!
Hail Victimology!
Pussies on Parade!
Fight for old A.C./D.C.!
Run or pass and score -- we want a lot more
We don't need to win em!
Touchdown! -- Let your emotions soar!
Right on, Right on sue 'Til you have won!
Sons of nice mommies. Rah!, Rah!, Rah!
Hail to the Thinskins!
Hail Victimology!
Pussies on Parade!
Fight for old A.C./D.C.!

The Dolphins have already made their first round pick

He will fit right in with the new culture of the team.

Here he is when he found out he was the first round pick and he couldn't bring his binky into training camp.

Those Bastards!

Voting yesterday was very disheartening.

Whose that girl?

This lovely English rose looks wonderful tonight. Good enough to make you want to take heroin or join the Hari Krisha's!
Whose that girl?

Dog photos Meade does not want you to see

Gay marriage isn't enough for the Althouses.

Now the dogs have to lay down with the cats.
It is end of days.

Eye don't know what I did to deserve this!

So now I have a big sty in my eye. It looks like I got punched in the face.

I am going to a urgent care doctor as my regular doctor had misdiagnosed my heart failure as an allergy and I haven't decided if I am going to sue him or just put out a contract. So I have to get this taken care of immediately.

Plus we just found out that our granddaughter in Florida had her insurance cancelled because of Obamacare.

Sorry I wasn't around.....

But I had something very important to do.

It was Lisa's birthday weekend!

My bride loves birthdays and we usually make a big thing out of her birthday. I have thrown huge parties with 100 people, gone on a cruise, went to top New York Restaurant or spent it with family and friends in a more intimate setting.

This year is tough because I am basicly out out of action. So on Saturday and Sunday some of our best friends came over to celebrate at the house by cooking a meal at our place. Getting it together while the wife was at the store. It was a lot of work and I didn't have much time to anything else.
My darling girl deserves the best because she kept me alive! And because she is the best wife a man could ever have. I am so lucky!

Happy Birthday Lisa!

Congratulations to Michael Haz

Congratulations to Michael Haz for becoming a new contributor to Lem's place at TOOP. I am looking forward to his hard headed wisdom and good Midwestern values which always give me something to think about. It will be a great addition to that blog.

Special kudo's to Lem for getting rid of some deadwood and bringing in people who are actually interested in keeping his blog alive. Good move amigo. You are on roll buddy!

Whose that girl?

This little darling was so many shows in the 1970's that you felt she was part of the family. Her persona was such that a bunch of guys I knew had a big time crush on her. Of course she was too skinny for my tastes. I was more of Michelle Johnson type. You know a busty full bodied brunette. Oh well blame it on Brio.

Anyway she stole a dog from Sixty Grit in her one good movie. You have to see it to believe it.

Whose that girl?

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence

Life is too short......

And we all have a lot of baggage.

Friday is Doctor Day and we spent most of the morning getting test done in the office on Atlantic Avenue. I have been poorly the last few days and it turns out it is the same old bugaboo. Low Blood Pressure.

The doctor said it was dangerously low and any lower and I would have to go to the hospital. Now I told you I liked this new Doctor right? He changed my meds and told me that I can eat more. I mean I have been very careful and lost 41 pounds. But he is telling me that I am overdoing it a little. I am not taking in enough water while taking the water pills and I am getting dehydrated. And I am really eating less and better which he wants me to continue. But he says mix in a potato or a dish of macaroni here or there. No salt of course but I don't have to stay on the Bridge on the River Kwai diet. Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence! I am out of jail. For a little while!

This brings me to another point. I want to drop things that tend to aggravate me. Why add more stress to my life. One thing that has been aggravating me lately is Crack. The fact that Leisure Suit Larry is over there as his number one fan in various guises can really get you started. It is just too toxic for me. Since he really has stopped coming to Lem's joint I have no real contact with him or his dimwitted twat or that other dimwitted twat Inga. When they show up at Lem's it is easy to ignore them. But it was too easy for me to go over on the link to Cracks joint to get pissed off. I regularly look at most of your sites but don't comment that often anymore. They make me smile. Or in Evi's case moo while I am chewing the cud. But I need to remove toxic shit like Crack and his insane mutterings from my life. So as windbag noticed I dropped him from my blogroll. As so many of you had advised when you ignore these morons they lose their shit. So I have set phasers on ignore and want to concentrate on trying to get better.

Tyler Perry's "White House of Pain."

Michelle Obama: (walking in back from the Executive office building) Mama I‘m home!
Marian Robinson (Michelle’s mom) Thank God you are home. Your Auntie Madea is on the warpath. You best get that skinny ass half a cracker husband of yours up here.
Michelle Obama: Now Mama don’t start that up again, what’s the problem this time. I am very tied. The press has been killing us about the healthcare act. They keep saying Barry lied. Of course he lied. He always lies. I mean he lied about being born in America. He lied about not being a Muslim. He even lied to me about being straight. The boy can’t stop lying. What difference does it make now?
Marian Robinson: Who cares, we have bigger problems. Your Auntie Madea is on the warpath. She just got a notice from Blue Cross that her insurance is canceled. And she had the good policy that included hair removal. You know she be one hairy bitch.
Michelle Obama (picks up phone) Oh Mama, please…..this is Barry’s problem….let him deal with it…….Hi, can you ask the President to come upstairs right away. Thank you.
President Barrack Obama: (Comes rushing in) Is everything OK? Are the girls all right?
Michelle Obama: My mother wants to talk to you.

President Barrack Obama: (mutters under his breath) Oh crap. What now!

Marian Robinson: What did you say you skinny assed fool?

President Barrack Obama: Nothing Mother. You do know that I am President of the United States. I have been elected twice now. You might show me just a little respect.

Marian Robinson: You better watch your ass bean pie eating half a mo. I know where you keep your birth certificate and I can give still send of a copy to that nice Eskimo lady if you don’t watch your ass. She could even get a new reality show out of it. “I Didn’t Know I Was A Kenyan!”

President Barrack Obama: Now mother please, I am very busy. I have to get my speech ready for congress. I have to explain why everything is the fault of the dirty insurance companies and those rascally Republicans.

Marian Robinson: Who cares about those damn fools when you messed Auntie Madea’s Blue Cross. It just got canceled. We been talking all day to her boyfriend Leon out in Oakland who is laid up with a bad back. Who be paying for his chiropractor and yoga lessons now you big dummy!

Madea: (rushes into the room) There he is that fool boy. I told Marian that you never would amount to nuthin. First you raise my taxes and now you made me lose my medical. What the hell is amatter wich you boy! Do I got to take a skillet to you head now! How am I gonna pay for my electraizis or my reuhmatiz medicine or Leon’s back rubs from that nice Filipino lady from Woodstock. How am I gonna pay for that? ANSWER ME FOOL!

President Barack Obama: Auntie Madea, what are you talking about? I didn’t cancel your plan the insurance company did. Their plans were just not up to the standards we set. You can get a better plan. Just go on the computer for a couple of days and I am sure you can get something much better.

Madea: You damn fool! My insurance man told me I have to buy a plan that covers pregnancy and prostrate and Viagra or I can’t get it. Why the hell does an old lady need that there for you half a cracker moron. AND I GOT TO PAY $2,000 MORE A YEAR! Your white half must be really dumb. Who was your Mama anyway? Rosemary Kennedy?
President Barack Obama: I don’t have to take this from you Madea, I am the President (he flees out of the room).

Madea: Where you going you pansy ass fool? Marian get my five iron. I got’s to make this right. I gonna play a par three on his skinny ass.

Congratulations to Lem who got to see tonight what he never thought he would ever see!

His Red Sox won another Championship.
Congratulations!
(Also ChipS and Tim and all the other deluded Red Sox Fans)

Hell needs a New PA Announcer

(Lucifer strides into Hell in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt smoking a cigar and scratchinghis balls. He does that a lot. That's why they call him old scratch)
Lucifer: How the fuck are you Forcas? Aah who the fuck am I kidding I don't give a shit. I'm back from vacation so let's get to work.
Forcas:Vacation? I thought you were sick my Dread Lord. You seem to have lost a lot of weight.

Lucifer: Yeah. My black heart started to fail. It filled up with water and goo and shit. I had to get a pacemaker. You believe that shit. At least I got to go to Long Island College Hospital. That was as close to Hell as you can get. I felt right at home. Who do we have coming down the pipe.

Forcas: Well we have several new candidates you can choose from. There is the former receptionist for Dr. Hartley. She just got here.

Lucifer: Really. Why is she here? Oh yeah. She used to give Peter Bonerz a rim job. The big guy really hates Jerry Bonerz. I mean you know he hates him when he puts “boner” in his name. Nah she sucks. And not in a good Linda Lovelace way. Who else do you have?

Forcas: We have rock and roll icon and famous junkie Lou Reed. He came down on the express lane of the highway to hell.

Lucifer: Holy shit! I hate that junkie motherfucker. He is the worst musician that ever lived. He makes Vanilla Ice look like Frank Sinatra. He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. Or his liver in a bucket for that matter. Get him in here right now!

Forcas: Right away Sire.

Lou Reed: (slides down the stairwell to hell and tumbles at the feet of Satan and his right hand fallen angel Forcas. He blearily rolls over as he had crushed the syringe in his arm and the cigarette he was holding) What the fuck...where am I? Am I high?
Lucifer: You are in Hell Lou! Welcome. I bet you thought you were in Hell all the times the times you had to blow Andy Warhol and he couldn’t get it up. I mean you know you have no talent and you only got on stage or in the movies when you gave Paul Morrisey the rusty trombone. Well you are in the real place now buddy. Hell. The fiery pit. What do you have to say for yourself you junkie punk?
Lou Reed: How the fuck did I end up in Hell? I was a true progressive and a good man even if I liked to get high. I invented punk rock for crying out loud.
Lucifer: You didn’t invent shit you loser. The Ramones and Television invented punk rock. And a bunch of English faggots. You were just a punk and a poser.
Lou Reed: This can’t be right. You ain’t the man. I have rights.
Lucifer: You ain’t got shit asshole. Lucky for you I can’t stand you fucking shitty music. I mean what the fuck am I? A deluded menopausal twat in the Midwest who listens to her old records and remembers when her twat wasn’t crusted shut and her boyfriends were more interested in her pussy than stray dogs. You make me sick. Forcas!
Forcas: Yes Sire. (two burly demons drag Low away and dump in a pit ) What do you want done with him.
Lucifer: Oh I don’t know. Tell you what. Put him on KP. Let him go wash Joseph Smith’s magic plates and knives that Sweeny Todd uses. Just don’t let him near a guitar.
Forcas: Yes sire.
Lucifer: Oh and one more thing get Billy Holliday, Harriet Tubman and Lena Horne.
Forcas: Yes my Dread Lord. What would you demand of them.
Lucifer: Have them stand over the pit and piss on Lou Reed. I want to hear the colored girls go Wee.

Celebrity Camel Toe Corner

You don't need any basic instinct to have total recall of the best Sharon Stone scene you ever saw.

She just had to get over her camel toe obsession.

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner!

Garage has been heard from. He wished me well and sent me some of his best road kill recipes.

It is just hard to get the ingredients.

"First find a dead cow in the middle of the road."

Seven days in November

Oval Office Wednesday November 9, 2016

“Well the election results are in Mr. President” said Jay Carney “It’s a replay of Bush vs Gore.”

“What do you mean Jay?” said the President as he played with his Blackberry. It was never too early to work on his NCAA brackets. “Spell it out for me please.”

“Hillary won the popular vote but it seems that maniac Ted Cruz won the electoral. They are contesting Florida in court and demanding a recount. So it is still up in the air.”

“Either way the country loses Mr. President” piped up Valarie Jarrett who was commonly referred to as Rasputin behind her back. As much for her facial hair as her Svengali like powers over the lazy Chief executive. “Your agenda and legacy will be trashed by either of them. That racist Cruz will destroy Obama care and wipe out Food Stamps and clean energy. He will be a disaster. The Tea Party will destroy this country and everything we have built. Hillary will be worse. After the way she attacked us and threw you under the bus about Benghazi you know she is going to let loose the dogs to investigate everything that happened during our time of office. We can’t let that happen. It will be a witch hunt. And who is a bigger witch than Hillary?”

“Listen to them Barry” intoned his wife Michelle as she flexed her arm muscles and broke a walnut. She was not referred to as Rasputin even though in fact she actually was a beard. “We have to think outside the box. I mean who says we really have to step down when the country is in chaos? Either one of those damn fools will destroy the America that we have built.”

“Yes that’s true” murmured the distracted President as he tried to figure out how to get the PGA standings on his phone. “Bring me some options on what we can do. But first I have one important question. Jay?”

“Yes sir?”

“What is my tee time today?”

(to be continued}

Whose that turtle?

I mean the things she did with that turtle. She is a sinner not a saint let me tell you. Even though she is a southern belle she is famous for her work in the north. Near the water.

Whose that turtle? Er... I mean girl?

Dog photos that Meade does not want you to see

It's the Canine centipede! Everything goes in Madison.

That's why he brings the lube and his instamatic to the dog run!

Everybody remembers their lunch box fondly

Even Meade. He sent this photo of his old lunch box to Chickie when he did that post about lunchboxs at Lem's joint.

Luckily he spared us.

On the other hand I will spare you nothing.

It does explain a lot. Just sayn'

The Men of Trooper York Calendar Project

Our Mr. January is the one and only Cody Jarrett. He has told us that he is called Jesus by his friends because of his hair situation.

We prefer to think of him as the "It" guy.

He just has to watch out who he is dating. Because then he would be on another site. Just sayn'

We have to get a haircut

This is the instagram montage of my haircut.

Nowadays everything we do is immortalized and recorded.

I feel like Jesus.

Except he got to have long hair.

This was my lunch box in the first grade

If some kid brought it to school now they would call out the SWAT team.

It is worth about $700 now.

Whose that junkie?

She is viewed as a saint but in reality was just another junkie. Supposedly influential she could not carry a tune and was partially deaf. Her music sucked as she often did which helped her immensely in her career.

Her real mostly unknown claim to fame is that she was born in the Town without Pity and got to know both Sgt. Carter and Beretta.

Whose that junkie whore?

Hey I can no more control the election than Coach Reeves can control the inbounds play.

Look I know you want to give me shit about De Blasio wining the mayoralty but what do I have to say about it. I am totally outnumber here.

Besides he was a shoe-in when everybody found out his son was Coolidge from the White Shadow. His kids are in every commercial and have won the election for him.

Frenchy Fuquas's Explains it All

Yo boyz sorry I don't be around lately. But I was way depressed. You see I hurt my back bending over backwards to justify my boys Obama's fuck up in that medical bullshit. I threw my fuckin back out and am laid up. Plus my landlord wants to evict me and I am hiding out. She is freaking dentist and you knows I hate dentists. They are cult. They put that floride in the water to keep the black man down.

Anyways there wasn't much to talk about. My Steelers and Giants have been getting beat like Chris Browns bitch when she wouldn't take it up the ass. But now things are looking up. I means the Steelers played well and lost but they are getting. My man Eli won the last two games without an interception and they are on their way. They one a bunch of games in a row on the road when Eli won his first Super Bowl. They have a bye and some easy games coming up. I mean the Cowboys are falling apart and of course the Giants have the Packers number. They be the most overrated team in the league.

Best thing the Jets got slaughted. Now that's fun.

Do you hear the footsteps?

Whose that author?

Boys. Yes, boys come next. After the blood the boys come. Like sniffing dogs, grinning and slobbering, trying to find out where that smell is. That...smell!

I remember when a haircut was a big deal

Unlike the dogs that Meade molests I am on a short leash

The wife is keeping me on a short leash. She doesn't want me to sneak off and rob a pizza store or something. So on our way back home from the doctor yesterday she made me get a haircut. We were walking past the place and my

We go in and I get my usual 1970's razor cut. I tell Damien to be careful because I am taking blood thinners and I don't want to bleed out in the barber chair. He actually puts in a new razor which he hasn't done since 2007. Anyway he was talking in his usual mixture of broken English and Italian. Funny enough he has a pacemaker too! It seems everybody that enjoys Italian food has a pacemaker.

After we left the wife said "What a nice man." "Yeah he is a good guy. He finally got over moving from Washington DC and leaving the priesthood. That was a real pain in the neck." As usual nobody had any idea what I was talking about.

I am trying to work a little bit each day

So each day I try to do a little bit more. Last Thursday I sat on a chair in the middle of the store and opened up and unpacked all the new pocketbooks and handbags.

Guess what? One of them is named the "Darcy" It is the little black and white number I am holding in the photo.

How come Darcy never told us she was a pocketbook. Jeez