Thursday, July 3, 2008

Top Ten Revolutionary War Heroes.

10. Benedict Arnold. Yeah, yeah I know. But before he turned traitor he was a great general for the revolutionary army. He led an epic march to invade and Canada and was seriously wounded and was vital in leading from the front at the Battle of Saratoga. The Battle of Saratoga was perhaps the most important battle of the war because it was the first time that the rebels inflicted such a disastrous defeat on the British to the point that they forced them to surrender a substantial army. Being a phony patriot who could not wait to betray his country would of course made him an ideal Democratic politician.

9. Daniel Morgan captain of the long rifles. A frontiersman who led a bunch of other hunters and general roughnecks in several battles. He also was present at Canada and Saratoga and later had an independent campaign that culminated at the battle of Cowpens where he destroyed Banastre Tarleton the British scumbag who was the basis for the villain in the movie the Patriot. Unfortunately was part of the forces used to put down the Whisky Rebellion as he was a rum guy hence the tasty brand that bears his name.

8. Nathanael Greene who rose from the rank of private to become one of Washington’s most trusted generals. He was entrusted with the war in the South and dueled with Lord Cornwallis. He bled and harassed Cornwallis to the point where he eventually ended up in trouble at Yorktown.

7. Henry Lee III, who was called "Light Horse Harry” was a dashing cavalry commander in the Revolution. He led his forces in the Southern campaign. Best known for having really good sperm as he was the father of famed civil war general Robert E. Lee.

6. Alexander Hamilton makes the list as a tribute to staff officers. He served as General Washington’s chief of staff for the last four years of the war and kept the trains running on time. Famous for his later political work as a founding father, it was a shame that he did not take more time out for pistol practice.

5. William Alexander know as Lord Sailing was one of General Washington's favorite generals. He was put in command of the entire army for two months while Washington was away on personal business and took command of the Northern army when Washington went south to Yorktown. Best known as a prodigious drinker and party guy, he was my kind of general.

4. Francis Marion the Swamp Fox who served both as a cavalry general and a leader of irregulars who harassed the British. Not politically correct in this day and age as he was a “committed slave owner” and indian fighter, he was a product of his times. He has been the basis for several films and TV shows including serving as the model for Mel Gibson’s character in “The Patriot” and a pretty cool TV series in the early ‘60’s. He was not as fondly remembered in his own lifetime because of the incident where he called Martha Washington “Sugar tits” but he is still a true American hero.

3. George Rodgers Clark was the leader of revolutionary forces in the northwestern part of the United States. He tried to capture Detroit but was not successful. But in any event his activities led to the surrender of most of the Northwest Territories as even the British found out that Detroit was not worth the trouble.

2. Mad Anthony Wayne was a great battle leader most famous for his bayonet attack at Stony Point where he gave the British the shiv. Later famous as the indian fighter who destroyed the indian confederation at Fallen Timbers, he was one of America’s most capable battle field leaders. Of course he is most famous for being the great, great grandfather of the Batman, Bruce Wayne.

1. General George Washington. First in war. First in Peace. First in the hearts of his countryman. What more needs to be said. If only his like would walk the earth again. The greatest American who ever lived. It’s just a shame we can’t celebrate his birthday as a stand alone holiday anymore. Maybe he should have given a few more speechs or something. I mean he just won the war of independance and established our system of government. I mean they didn't even name a car after him. What's guy gotta do. I know I appreciate him. Thank you General Washington. Without you, there would be no United States of America.

11 comments:

blake said...

Nice.

You know, Ellis has it in Founding Brothers that Alexander Hamilton deliberately missed--and also that Aaron Burr tried to miss and failed!

Interesting forensics.

Meade said...

Here's a little fun fact for you: George Washington and John McCain were both born during years of the Rat. What does it mean? Nothing. Just an excuse to leave a comment.

Trooper York said...

Hey Meade, you don't need an excuse. Just drop by and say hello. That's good enough for me. And let us know how your second date went with the Harley girl.
(If you want to talk about it.)

You know when George married Martha she was a single mom who had four kids with her first husband. So George was man enough to follow his heart and fall in love and not have to be the "first" in everything.

blake said...

Plus, she was rich.

blake said...

I kind of like that about McCain. He not only married a gorgeous woman 20 years younger, but she was also rich.

Trooper York said...

And I heard she was a goer. They say she looks like Ashley Olsen.

Trooper York said...

That's Martha who looks like Ashley.

Cindy McCain always reminded me of Joan Lunden. And she owns a brewery. Before I married my wife when someone asked me when I was getting married, I always said it was when I found someone with no teeth who owned a liquor store. I wonder how Cindy's teeth look?

Trooper York said...

There's a woman in the store who is bugging the crap out of my wife and she keeps sending the employees to get me to come out to talk to her so she can escape. Not me. I'm hiding out in the back room. Watching it on the survailence camera. It's some funny stuff.

I am gonna suffer later but I am enjoying it now.

blake said...

Sometimes--as often as possible--it's better to postpone suffering.

knox said...

It’s just a shame we can’t celebrate his birthday as a stand alone holiday anymore.

yes, "president's day" is meaningless

ageraaeg said...

Hamilton was an artillery commander in the battle of brooklyn, one of the few, as I understand, to save his cannons-- which were instrumental in the battle of saratoga.