Thursday, April 14, 2016

Meeting of the Falsely Abused Women’s Club Sitting around talking when the Rainbow Is Enuf!




“Welcome to this episode of the Meeting of the Falsely Abused Women’s Club Sitting around talking when the Rainbow Is Enuf! I am your host Greta Nussbaum and tonight’s special guest is Michelle Fields who as you know was victimized by a Nazi. Welcome Michelle.”

“Thank you Hedda. You are an inspiration to all of us.”

“Thank you Michelle. But then I was actually abused and not making stuff up. Never mind. Let’s go to our panel. First up Twana Brawley.”

“Michelle I can’t believe that the racist po po dropped the charges against that chalk faced skinhead that be so nasty. Isn’t it just like the white man’s justice to take the evidence of a videotape and a lack of physical bruising instead of a woman’s feelings into account? Let me axe you. After this experience don’t you feel like you were shit faced and in the bag?”

“Errrr actually no. I felt bruised battered and violated. I mean I know I was poking Trump but who is he to object to that. And who is his campaign manager to pull me away just because I had no right to talk to him at that time and was within the security zone that the Secret Service always mandates for Presidential candidates. I am a member of the news media. More importantly I am a women so the rules don’t apply to me.”

“Very true Michelle. I used to tell Steinberg that all the time. Then he would break my nose. Next up Crystal Magnum.”

“Chile I feel for you. There is nothing worse than not being believed when you is full of shit. It’s damn frustrating. I means they believe you whens you tell them theys got the biggest dick you ever seen but when you says fourteen lacross boys be raping you then you don’t gets paid. I though Obama was gonna fix that shit. Anyways why didn’t you flop on the floor and start to cry and moan. That always worked for me when my man came to collect his just due.”

“That is beneath my dignity as a journalist and a woman. Plus it didn’t work that time I tried it on Allen West so I went with the dignity ploy this time. It didn’t work. Trump has no dignity. So he didn’t cave.”


“Very true Michelle very true. We will get to our other panelist and more questions but first a word from our sponsors Planned Parenthood. We want you to be a part of us and we will take care of your fetus and want parts from them. We will be right back.”

2 comments:

windbag said...

It seems we are far beyond the point where we can conjure up anything more absurd than our present reality.

When we were kids, one of our pat answers to charges of hitting a sibling was "I didn't lay a finger on her!!" Of course, we went straight to the most absurd example, establishing the threshold of offense. Now, lay a finger on someone and it's time to call in the storm troopers and then sue the offender.

I can't wait for this year to be over.

chickelit said...

"Posts that Lem would delete"

lol