The Duke knew what was what, even in his first pic.

Pa Bascom: What did they do, Coleman?
Breck Coleman, Wagon Train Scout: Killed my best friend. And I've been on their trail ever since.
Pa Bascom: That's a serious charge. If you're sure, we'll call a settler's meeting in the morning to try 'em.
Breck Coleman, Wagon Train Scout: You can call a settler's meeting to bury 'em!
Pa Bascom: What do you mean?
Breck Coleman, Wagon Train Scout: I kill my own rats.
(The Big Trail, 1930)

Jennifer vs Bailey the argument continues and we didn't even start the poll yet.

Nichevo said...
Well then we needn't fight... seriously, though, maybe the VD was more benign then? But SRSLY, Loni = implants, no? Really, she never did it for me.

Bailey by contrast was nice and fresh, and the way she hid her light under a bushel, behind those glasses, made you want to see more. A depth which made Loni look impossibly flat.

I would love to see Bailey nude. Loni Anderson, you feel like you already have.

I don't know about that nichevo, it's the same Mary Anne vs Ginger argument. Phony innocence vs all out sexuality in your face. Rubbing in your face. Putting your face right in there going .....brewskiiii.

Oh and I put the gay guy from WKRP in the photo for Titus and Zach. Enjoy.

Tales of Amy's Garden, Troll edition

Fiver: There's something very queer about the warren this evening
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: It's not exactly danger, it's... oh, I don't know. Something oppressive... like thunder.
Hazel: I feel it too. The lady in the cottage seems out of it. Look at what has happened to the garden. It is full of trolls. Smelly trolls who want you to do terrible things to them but still claim they are nice.
Bigwig: Yes and they are very bossy. Telling everyone what to do!
Fiver: Well there was always trolls in the garden, but now they seem to have taken over.
Bigwig: I know the reason. The lady in the cottage used to chase them away. With her broom.
Hazel: Well why did she lay down her broom. She doesn’t even fly on it anymore.
Bigwig: I don't really know. She seems very sad.
Fiver: And lazy.
Bigwig: I think she has been cleaning her house. There are lot of bottles and boxes in the trash. She must be very tied.
Hazel: I hate trolls. I much prefer rabbits.
(Watership Down, 1972)

You see you can have all the right merchandise, but you have to display it correctly.

This is an example of a dress that I don't think works. Look at the difference with the Tadashi in the other post. You need a little contrast and you must support and accentuate the boobage correctly. She looks all bunched up. I would have had fabric over her shoulders and scooped out the front to give more support. The rouging in the green Tadashi gave the eye somewhere to go for a moment. I mean you still love the boobage but it's not overwhelming like this dress. I don't know it's just not to my taste.

I have learned entirely too much about woman's clothing since we opened the store.

It seems like a two team race?

So far it seems like a two beer race here in the poll. Bass seems to be dissed which is kind of unfair. I always enjoy a good cold Bass Ale especially on tap. It is my go to beer in most of the Irish pubs in the city to this very day.

Recently I found five bottles stashed in the back of the refrigerator.

What a great breakfast.

A typical day at Lee Lee's.

Well the upshot of the Moda show was that a lot of producers of plus sized clothing are not cutting anything for the spring. That really sucks. Lucky for us we have several manufacturers that we developed that are going to do small size runs exclusively for us so we will have new cute product in the store when the department stores are going to be sucking wind.

We will have a full line from Tadashi like the gown worn here by Christina Hendricks at the Emmy's. There is still a market for premium merchandise although it had really contracted a lot in the last two months. I have that dress in the store in the ready to wear version which is similar but not exactly the same. And several of the girls who shop with us fill it out in just the same way. So to speak.

So you can understand why I can't wait to give up accounting.

Hey no insomnia last night.

We were so tired after three days at the accesories show we conked right out. Didn't have to even watch Poker After Dark which was pretty boring.

It's only watchable when Jennifer is all in. So to speak.

Time to vent?

Bhilal: There is no compulsion in religion. A man may take many years, or only need minutes. It is God who decides the time.

Abu Sofyan: Let's shoot some rockets at some Jews. What are they going to do? Dinkins is mayor now. Lets vent.

(The Message, 1976)

Thee are just happy to see me.

Penelope Worth: Surely you can walk to the barn without that.
Quirt Evans: What?
Penelope Worth: The gun!
Quirt Evans: Oh, well, it balances me. One leg's longer than the other. You know, the weight.
Penelope Worth: Thee are a liar.
(Angel and the Badman, 1947)

If you don't know the movie you will draw a totally different conclusion about this post!

[Willie arrives at the statehouse as the impeachment is proceeding]

Willie Stark: What's the score?

Tiny Duffy: They're lined up against you solid. They had a meeting.

Willie Stark: How do you know? Were you there?

Tiny Duffy: Me? What would I be doing there?

Willie Stark: Selling me out.

(All the Kings Men, 1949)

Why I don't post about politics anymore.

Lou Gehrig: All the arguing in the world can't change the decision of the umpire.

(Pride of the Yankees, 1942)

Hey everyone is in on the act!

The Obama admisnistration is getting as crowded with ex-clintonistas as Jason Kidd's bathtub.

I was hoping for some new blood but I guess we just have to round up the usual suspects.

You got to be Jason-kidding me.

I leave you with Samantha!

I leave you in Elizabeth Montgomery. Well actually I leave you with Elizabeth Montgomery stroking her pussy. Enjoy.

Samuel Smith's is also not to be denied.

Samuel Smith's Nut Brown ale is also a force to be reckoned with. Very enjoyable after a long day in a tall cool glass.

It seems to be popular with our readers. Try it and I bet you will enjoy it.

Of course it has been too long.

Just speak into Mr. Mike.........ok, Adrienne.

I heard ya redneck, it's on the list.

An Edjamikated Redneck said...
Troop, when will you poll on the other great TV rivalry?Jennifer or Bailey?

It's on the list of future poll questions. Along with Jeanie vs Bewitched, Get Christie Love vs Angie Dickerson the Police Woman, and Rooster from Barreta, Huggy Bear from Starsky & Hutch and Barack Hussein Obama from Chicago.

It always happens when you are out.

So of course we are at the show and our website goes off line because the server has an old credit card that expired. So we are off line and didn't know it. You would think they would give you a call. What a bunch of maroons.

Hey the poll is progressing very nicely!

Our pole is progressing nicely and my favorite Newcastle is in the lead. There is surprising support for Samuel Smiths Brown Ale which is a favorite in the Northeast.

Bass Ale was the beer I drank through out the eighties as it was omnipresent in all the Irish Saloons of New York. It was handled by the Guinness distributor so if you had one you had to take the other.

John Courage is a more obscure brand that you could still find in a few British pubs in the city including Manchester on Second Avenue and one of my buddies old locals the British Open which was an English golf pub devoted to golfing and beer. John Courage was very smooth off the tap and pretty good in a can. You should give it a try.

What's your posion?

Hey we have a new poll up. What's your favorite ale? I posted my four favorites and I would like to hear yours.

Of course we only poll about women and beer.

If you are interested in politics you have to check out one of those nerdy spots.

The results are in!!!!!!!!!

The results are in and it is Mary Ann by a nose. Well not by a breast. By getting one more vote Mary Ann has won the pool. The official results;

Mary Ann 11 votes 34%
Ginger 10 votes 31%
Mrs. Howell 2 votes 6%
The Professor 9 votes 28%

Thanks to all that participated.

Tough news on the plus size front.

Just back from the show and it seems that a lot of the companies that manufacture plus size clothing have really cut back for the next season. All of the big department stores have cut their orders and they don't have enough for a cutting ticket. One company told me they needed 10,000 units to cut a dress which is just bullshit. But a lot of people have cut out their plus division so the pickings are going to be slim. Thankfully we have commissioned a lot of stuff for us exclusively so we might be in a good spot.

So Queen Lathifa you know where you have to come to get your stuff. Lee Lee's Valise baby!!!

Diamonds are a girls best friend, Shmuck edition.

Toot’s Shor’s Saloon, December 21, 1958(Arthur Miller walks into Toot’s Shors with his wife Marilyn)
Toots: Hey Artie, I am glad you showed up. Let me sit you guys over here. Get them some drinks you crumb bum.
Marilyn: Thanks Toots. I hope Joe isn’t here again?
Toots: Nah he went home to Frisco for the holidays. But there is someone I want Artie to meet. Can I steal him for a minute?
Marilyn: Sure Toots.
(Toots drags Miller by hand to a back room. In it is a single table with a small nondescript obviously Jewish man with glasses drinking a cup of tea)
Arthur Miller: What’s going on Toots?
Toots: Artie I want you to meet Mr. Lansky. Mr. Lansky this is Artie Miller.
Meyer Lansky: Please call me Meyer. Nice to meet such a famous man of letters. And a lantzman no less. Oy.
Arthur Miller: Hello Mr. Lansky. I have heard of you as well.
Meyer Lansky: Well don’t believe what you read in the funny papers. Now I don’t like to but into other peoples business but it seems something has come up.
Arthur Miller: What might that be Mr. Lansky?
Meyer Lansky: It’s the shiska. You know that she is DiMaggio’s girl. He thinks they are going to get back together. He reached out to someone and they reached out to me.
Arthur Miller: But I love her Mr. Lansky. I never thought I would, but I do.
Meyer Lanksy: Well the dago reached out to Albert and he seems upset. He’s very touchy Albert is.
Toots: Anastasia?
Meyer Lanksy: Yes. I don’t have the juice I used to have when Benny was around. But I will see what I can do. I just think it might be a good idea if you avoid DiMaggio from here on in, Nu you little shemdrake.
Arthur Miller: Certainly Mr. Lansky. And thanks.
Meyer Lansky: Don’t mention. I mean it. Don’t mention it. Ever. I just hope a blow job is worth it.

The Yvonne De Carlo spot.

Well it's off to the show, and I will leave you in Lily Munster. Yes that is Yvonne De Carlo in her Slave Girl of Gor days.

And please don't tell me this looks exactly like your mom!

Enjoy you perverts.

The bathtub can get crowded.

Hey you know I like to keep it doll friendly around here so realize that all the talk about hot chicks and sports and drinking is just part of what we do. The best part but still just part. I promise to broaden our horizons in the future so as not to be a Johnnie one note.

Did I tell you lately that the Giants are going to win the Super Bowl?

Well the playoff picture is rounding into place. Pogo you screwed me man! Your Vikes had to beat Philly. Now I have to listen to AJ brag on his Eagles all week. Oh well at least it will be NFC East all the way. The winner of that game will win the Super Bowl.

Condolences to Hoosier Daddy on his Colts. I was hoping for an all Manning Super Bowl but Peyton couldn't hold up his end. It was a great game to watch though.

Next weekend is the best weekend of the season in my opinion. You get to see all the best teams play and there are a lot of games.

Let's get it on!!!!!

We are real busy in the accessories show!

We are extremely busy at the accessories show. A lot of the vendors appear to be very worried about the business climate. A lot of stores that we usually see are not there. One guy told me how he gauged the business climate. He said that after they set up their booth, the go to get the free donuts and coffee. If it is busy there is nothing left by the time they get to it. This time there was all you can eat.

We are basically cutting our orders down 50%. We just want to get the sure things and not to go too far out on a limb. But we found some great stuff so you dolls check the website.

In particular we found a really cool beach bag that would also serve as a great "mommie" bag to but all of you baby gear in when you are traveling.

The show will last two more days so blogging will be a little lite.

The trouble with Titus.

While I was at the accessories show, the comments exploded. Titus came by and did his thing. When he posts, it comes in bursts. Funny and inventive and x-rated to be sure. The only problem is that he doesn't come by often enough.

Pinching off a loaf does take a lot of time you know.

Inside Jane Russell

Well it's that time again as we are about to close down the store. I will be at the accesories show on Sunday so I doubt I will be posting much. Since the Giants are off I can concerntrate on getting new stuff for the store.

So talk amongst yourselves. No patty fingers if you please.

Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend, Clash of the Titans edition.

Toot’s Shors Saloon, August 1, 1958(Joe DiMaggio walks into Toots Shore’s saloon, what he doesn’t know is that his ex wife Marilyn Monroe is sitting in the back with her new husband Arthur Miller)

Toots: Hey Joe, how ya doing….ah…Marilyn’s here…in the back…with Artie Miller….just so you know.

Joe DiMaggio:

Toots: I don’t want no trouble Joe, why don’t you just go up and say hello.(Joe walks to the back to say hello and stands in front of her table)

Marilyn: ( stands up and kisses Joe on the Cheek and says in a breathy sexy voice) Hi Joe. Did you miss me? This is my husband Arthur.(Marilyn sits down opposite Joe, and as she does her legs are really open. She is definitely not wearing any underwear)

Joe DiMaggio:

Arthur Miller(extends his hand) Nice to meet you Joe.
Joe DiMaggio:(Doesn’t say anything or offer to shake hands. Arthur Miller uncertainly lowers his hand)
Toots: Of course he missed ya kid. But Joe’s gotta go. I got your table over here.

Marilyn: So Joe. How have you been? Have you been seeing anybody lately? Maybe we can double date. See ya Joe.

Joe DiMaggio:

Marilyn: What nothing to say…well screw you…you guinea motherfucker (Marilyn picks up her purse and storms out of the saloon)
Arthur Miller: Sorry Toots, put it on my tab.

Toots Shor: Don’t worry about it Artie. ( Miller rushes out to the street)What a crazy broad man, forget about her Joe.

Joe DiMaggio: Get me Meyer Lanksy on the phone.

Toots: You sure Joe?

Joe DiMaggio: DO LIKE I TELL YOU AND SHADUP!!

Fearless football picks!

Well the WORLD CHAMPION NEW YORK GIANTS have a bye week so I want to give you my fearless football picks for this weekends games.

I like the Cardinals over the Falcons because the Falcons don't have a Michael Vicks dog of a chance.

The Eagles will dump on Pogo's Vikings who are vulnerable to the Eagle defense who will rough them up.

I like Hooisers Colts over the Chargers because of the Manning connection. We might see them in the Super Bowl.

I like the Dr. Kill's Fish over the Ravens because Pennington is on a roll and the Ravens didn't impress me all that much.

Did I tell you lately that the Giants are going to win the Super Bowl?

Tales from Amy's Garden.

Fiver: There's something very queer about the warren this evening
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: It's not exactly danger, it's... oh, I don't know. Something oppressive... like thunder.
Hazel: I feel it too. The lady in the cottage seems very angry. She is cursing and yelling and throwing wine bottles out of the window.
Bigwig: Well I think the lady has really become very mean. She doesn’t have any lady friends anymore. They used to have tea and chat.
Fiver: Really, why aren’t they friends anymore?
Bigwig: I don’t know the reason. She seems to have lied to them or something. Or maybe she lied down with someone that made them jealous. Or something. One of them said if you make your bed you have to lie in it.
Hazel: Well who did she lay down with that made them so jealous.
Bigwig: I don't really know. What is a Bissage?
Hazel: I don't know.
Fiver: Me either.
Bigwig: Well whoever he is he seems to be wonderful.
Hazel: Maybe he is a good lier.
(Watership Down, 1972)

Gran Palin slaps at Press (but not with her giant hooters)

New York Post January 3, 2008
by Larry Sutton
Will Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol and boyfriend Levi Johnston graduate high school?

You betcha!

The Alaska governor was so incensed over reports that the two would not finish school that she contacted the Anchorage Daily News, The Associated Press and People magazine to set the record straight.

"Bristol begins her final semester of high school next week where she'll get her last credit needed to graduate," Palin said. "Levi is continuing his online high-school work in addition to working as an electrical apprentice on the North Slope."

Palin also commented for the first time on the birth last Saturday of Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, the child of Bristol and Johnston, both 18.

"When Bristol and Levi first told us the shocking news . . . we all at first looked at the situation with some fear and a bit of despair," Palin said. "Isn't it just like God to turn those circumstances into such an amazing, joyful blessing?"

Insomnia Theatre was in Hawaii last night.

Sarah Marshall: Seemingly, the only actresses that can survive are the ones that show their cooter and I refuse to that. Excuse me, but I have a little dignity.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 2008)

We couldn't sleep of course so we got the pay per view movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall which was principally filmed in Hawaii and it drove the wife crazy. We have two time shares in Hawaii but haven't been able to go the last two years since we opened the store. So now she is scheming and planning the trip.

I knew I should have got Iron Man.

Maybe then she would have just bought a new Iron.

I knew Madison Man liked the finer things in life, but seriously dude what were you thinking?

New York Post Weird but True December 3, 2008

These are tough times for those with finer tastes.
An alleged grocery thief in Wisconsin has been charged with stealing $625 in lobster tails and ribeye steaks.
Brian Rubenstein, 43, also allegedly took a smoked ham, an apple pie and a fruit platter.
He faces nine months in jail.

If it was in Brooklyn I would have thought someone raided my wife's shoe closet.

New York Post Weird but True January 3, 2008

Oh, the shoe-manity!
Florida state police were left dumbfounded when they discovered thousands of pairs of shoes littering a Miami highway.
There were no signs of a crash and they have no idea who dumped the footwear.
Now they're looking for a charity to take the shoes.

Don't you just hate it when you find the perfect gift when Christmas is over?

Here I finally found the perfect gift for Freder, Alphaliberal, Loafing Oaf and Michael and Christmas is over.

Ah well, there is always next year.

Here is Jane as you remember her.

Here is Jane as we remember her in "The Outlaw." I just wanted to get back to busty brunettes so as not to freak out knox too much.

You have to be consistent when you are trying to build a brand name, ya know what I mean.

Today's gratuitous bath tub scene, those are some big bubbles!

Today's gratuitous bath tub scene is of Jane Russell who was the Adrienne Barbeau of her day. Jane was famous of course for her debut in "The Outlaw" where she was discovered by Howard Hughes. Hughes famous as a germaphobe was able to overcome his doubts when faced by Jane's massive mounds.

But in this photo, bubbles made by gama rays were so large that they were able to cover her bodacious ta-ta's.

Lucky bubbles.

The Hepburn cafe!

We will be going to the accessories show this weekend starting on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday to find all the stuff that Audrey Hepburn, Doris Day, and Jackie-O wore in the early sixties. So blogging might be light. But for tonight, join us as we check out that swan like neck. Oh baby.

But no matter what, Simon is just too busy to comment here at Trooper York

Of course there are many people who are too busy to post over here at the lowly Trooper York blog. We are of course the working man's blog and we lack the requisite ipso facto if you know what I mean.

Hey where did everybody go?

I was reading through some of what I missed in Althouse and the jabs and questions were flying fast and furious. Some of the commenters who post here were mentioned and there was some discussion of who had left and why.

I just feel lucky that I am able to offend each and every one of you at least once a day, and if you stick around it must be because we are doing something right. Thanks.

Hey you cheer up Garage!

Garage Mahal calls me out to cheer up on Althouse when the poor ninny doesn't even realize he has his own series of posts with hot chicks.

I guess when you get obsessed with politics you don't care if you get thrown under the bus.

Or the car.

Hey Pogo, it looks like they changed the cast for the new Star Trek Movie.

Hope and change. Live long and prosper suckers.

Hey the city is finally good for something.

The side of the store got tagged by a graffiti shit head on Tuesday night. I was going to go down to make a complaint but today the lieutenant in charge of quality of life came in to tell me about it. I told him I was planning to go down to fill out a report. He told me if I called 311, and asked to make a police report the city would actually repaint it for me for free.

Holy corporate welfare Batman.

How cool is that. My conservative principle's will not stop me from taking advantage of this government program. I am nothing if not the sole of hypocrisy.

Finally the government is doing something for me.

Plus I have a camera and am giving the cops a copy of the tape so they can arrest these fucks. And I promised a steep discount to whatever officer brings me the head of the douche who tagged the store.

Tony Romo goes down in the Locker Room.

Hey our favorite misguided Cowboy fan Lawgiver showed up in a prior thread and reminded me that I didn't spend enough time mocking Tony Romo and the rest of the Romosexuals for blowing the season. So to speak. Tony played so bad that he fainted in the locker room and had to be carried out like Queen Victoria. Poor guy. I guess Jessica tuckered him out before the playoffs even began. The way he is going he is going to break down in training camp.

HOW ABOUT THEM COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caroline Kennedy is still trying to be named Senator. What a joke!

You know you have to laugh about Caroline Kennedy trying to get the appointment as Senator from New York. She was on New York 1 the other night with Dominic Carter and couldn't put together a coherent sentence or any comprehensive reason to be named Senator. Other than the fact she was a Kennedy.

It is also unfortunate when far left douches like the Kennedy's try to take on the trappings of patriotism when they spend so much of their time in the groves of academia knocking our great country. I mean her father and uncle Bobby were patriots and earned every accolade but the Kennedy family has degenerated into a pack of rapists and drug addicts. But Caroline did nothing to earn it and should give it up already.

And this campaign poster sucks.

We need a palate cleanser!

Hey we need a palate cleanser after the previous post for our non gay readers. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Adrienne can cleanse my palate clean as whistle with both hands tied behind her back.

Actually especially with both hands tied behind her back.

Oh Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's gratuitous bath tub scene, Driving Pogo insane edition.

James Tiberius Kirk : I wish I knew how to quit you Spock.

NO MORE TEXTING IN THE STORE!!!!!

NO MORE TEXTING, I DON"T CARE WHO YOU ARE!!!!!

We have young girls working for us in the store and all they do is text all day long. They think you don't know what they are doing but whenever you look up they are texting away on work time. Now there is always a million things to do in the store and texting for twenty minutes out of every hour is not an option. It drives my wife crazy.

So we are putting in a new rule. Texting will be like smoking. If you have to text, you have to go outside and freeze your cootch off. That will limit the texting. I don't want to be too much of a hard ass and the wife and several of the older women go out for a smoke. I want to discourage that so I am putting them on an equal footing.

New Years Resolution Central.

Nows the time to list our New Years resolutions.

Here are some of mine.

Stop procratstinating.

Get a better haircut.

More photos of hot chicks.

Funnier posts and more creative movie parodies.

Less posting on more boring blogs. It just tires you out.

More patience with idiots

Less patience with idiots (ie: more non-violence).

Cook more home cooked meals.

Eat out less. (Refers to dinner).

Eat out more (Does not refer to dinner).

Be more charitable but less of a soft touch.

Pay attention.

These are just a few of my resolutions. I hope you have good luck with yours.