Things that make you smile

The first female Dominican elected to the New York State Assembly has plead guilty to a sham marriage to stay in the country. She paid someone $8,000 to marry her so she could be legal while she was banging someone else.

My question is "A sham marriage?" Could this be used to rid us of Hillary?

That makes me smile.

Things that make you smile

A pair of Indian entrepreneurs have invented a new style of "anti-rape jeans" that will help combat the epidemic of sexual assaults. The jeans contain a small alarm that when triggered send a distress call to the nearest police station.

Of course other people have jumped on the bandwagon and devised another style of anti-rape jeans. Inspired by President Obama's jeans. Nobody would ever want to have sex with anyone who wore jeans like that.

Plus they make you throw like a girl.

Things that make you smile

Alec Baldwin noted liberal bigmouth is a little peeved at his daughter Ireland who he affectionally refers to as a "rude thoughtless little pig."

Well she is a big girl now and is all over the tabloids making out with her girlfriend who is a black lesbian rapper.

Makes you smile ya know?

You can tell everything you need to know about a person by how they treat the waiter.

This is one of the rules that I live by. That is why I despise hipsters and yuppies and almost every other fucking idiot that I run across when I am going out to eat. For example there is this column by a stupid entitled twat from the New York Post. Her thesis is that waitresses should be replaced by ipads. What a fucking moron.

A good waitress or waiter is essential to a dining experience. They can answer your questions. Help you choose your meal. Make exceptions and substitutions.  When I go to a place I always introduce myself and the other members of my party. I try to make a personal connection. Or at the minimum establish the fact that I know that the waiter is a person. Not my slave. If they were a slave I would expect them to be a shut in from Oakland ranting about reparations. They are simply a server. Someone to help me enjoy my meal. Not someone that I should berate or treat like shit.

A perfect example is our recent somewhat disastrous dinner at Incognito. The waiter was a confused Mexican who was probably distracted because his kids had just got dumped at the border. Since I had been to the joint more than twice I had the menu memorized. I lead him through the appetizers and the main courses. He had to go to the kitchen a couple of times to be sure that they could do what I asked. Not that it was anything spectacular. Just mashed potatoes. But he tried his best and that is all you can ask. Everyone had a good time. I just worried about the meal and made sure it turned out great for everyone.

The Mexican waiter took the photo so we all look like the Devil. That is what he must think of his boss and all of his customers.

Hey I am happy if they just don't spit in my food.

Remembrance of Things Pabst

You can never go back. We say that all the time and it is so true.

This past Tuesday we went into the city to buy bras and panties and camisoles to fill up the new lingerie store. We made a useful contact with a sales rep who has a lot of good lines. We took our new girl who is going to be running the store since she is very knowledgeable and was a great help. Lisa needs someone to bounce things off of besides me because my comments are always the same. "How much does that cost?" It was an intensive four hours while Omar waited for us in the car.

Now I have Omar wait because we were supposed to hit a bunch of places and I can't around the way I used to. It is hard for me especially in the heat so I would rather pay for him to drive us then get sick. But we spent so much time there that we were done at around seven. So I decided to treat everyone to dinner. Of course we decided to go to one of our favorite joints that I have mentioned many times: Incognito.

So we get there and of course we are greeted by our friend the chef who brings us to our table. But something is off. It is very hot. The doors are closed but the a/c is not blasting like it usually is when we were there last year. The wait staff is completely different. The French girl and the Italian guy are gone and all the wait staff is Mexican dudes. This joint has an open kitchen where you can see them work behind a window. When I went up to go to the john I noticed that the sous chef wasn't there anymore and it was all Mexicans all the time.

I go outside where the chef is smoking and ask him to turn up the a/c. This after asking the waiter a couple of times. He comes in and makes a big production of turning it up. I say thank you and sit back down. Now we are ordering a lot of good stuff. It is Omar's first time in a big time Manhattan bistro. He has been thinking of opening his own joint and I am advising him. I told him it is important to go out and check out other places. Steal the good ideas. But notice the mistakes so you don't make them. The air conditioning is a case in point.

I order the appetizers for the table. A big pizza and meatballs all around. With garlic bread. Drinks of course. Well not for me and Omar. He is a Muslim and I am a heart patient. But Lisa and the new girl enjoyed some very nice cocktails. Then we ordered the main courses. Or at least I suggested what they should get and they were very happy.

That is when I saw that things were going downhill. Lisa and I ordered the filet mignon. This is what it looked like:

Notice that they butterflied it and did not give a full piece of filet mignon where you could identify the cut. That is a no-no. It tasted good but it is not how it should be presented. It was obviously not a full serving and not prepared properly. Now if I give him the benefit of the doubt than it is the full 6oz piece but his kitchen could not prepare it to order as a whole piece so they had to cut it up to make it medium/medium. That is not done correctly. Also they put the Bearnaise sauce on the bottom of the plate instead of on the side to mask the smaller portion. All in all not what it was supposed to be.

Omar and the new girl got steak pom frites which was also butterflied which is very weird for a rib eye steak. Not the way to do it. I didn't make a big deal out of it because I didn't want Omar to get the wrong idea. I just told him the proper way to do it if he had it in his joint. I don't think it will matter because the cuisine of his country is mostly fish so it will have that and a lot of curry.

When you put it all together this is the sign of trouble in a restaurant. No a/c because he is cutting costs. Changes in the staffing so it is only low talent staffers who are obviously illegals. The kitchen has only helpers and no real talent. The owner outside smoking cigarettes and looking worried.. The food being short changed and not prepared correctly. All in all it is time to stop going there. It's a shame. It was fun while it lasted. I don't think it will be around in August when are next in the city for the show at the Javits. We will have to find another place to go.

If they remade the show who would play

If they remade Police Woman who would they have play Pepper Anderson.

I know who I would pick. How about you. Oh and whose that girl?

If they remade the show who would play

Who would we get to play Wrangler Jane?

You know who I would pick. By the way whose that girl?

It they remade the show who would play

Who would play Ginger on the New Gilligan's Island.

I think you know who I would pick. Right Ron?

A three hour cruise?

So the captain of the minnow was driving his boat when he decided to get in a three way and nobody was watching the boat. They crashed into a dock at La Guardia Airport but the port police couldn't respond. If they were towel heads they could have shot down about ten planes before the coppers showed up.

It was the Skipper and his little buddy. But was it Ginger or Maryann.

The board was sixty so that's about right.

Of course we know that the skipper wants to be in the poop deck so to speak. But his little buddy might have been willing to check out Mary Ann.

Palate cleanser

Just to get back to the reason this blog exists.

Besides Pope bashing.

I am still waiting on Palladian

We are working on the details. I think he is working on his tan but what are you gonna do.I might spread the word by email instead of on the blog because we want to keep his privates private.

If you know what I mean.

More info soon.

Heres the poop

I had a messed up day today. My computer picked up a nasty virus and I didn't have time to give it any Nyquil or anything because I had a bunch of meetings in the city and I was out all day.

But I did work on Evan's problem and I think I have a reasonable solution. My driver Omar can pick up the stuff and truck it down to Evan in Pennsy. I am in touch with him regarding the details. Once we figure that out anyone who wants to contribute can send whatever directly to him to pay the bill. I will report back when I have more exact details and everyone can decide what they want to accordingly.

Omar and Hassan are very trustworthy. I know it seems crazy that I am getting two Muslim terrorist to truck down the frills and bags and bows for a big fat homo but hey that's the kind of open minded ultra-conservative Shite  Catholic that I am.

I just don't want them to stop for an abortion or get gay married when they are down there. Just sayn'

Remembrance of Things Pabst

So we went out on Friday Night to relax after another grueling day. When we got to the Greek place it was pretty crowded because it was Friday night at 7:30 and everyone was out on a beautiful night. Since we are in with the in crowd already Lisa went in to talk to the owner. She didn't want to sit in the back because it was too hot and we wanted to sit in the window. So the owner said no problem I will save you a table. Go and have a drink and come back in half an hour.

There is this hipster bar that I have never gone into down the street. It has been open for a bout ten years. It is called "Brooklyn Social." The gimmick is that they took over the space of an old social club. The Society De Riposto which was an Italian group based on people from Bari. I had gone into the joint several times to play cards back in the day. One of my fathers good friends was the President for about twenty years and when one of my buddies wanted to get into the serious game there I went with him to get him in. I wasn't there for long. Didn't sit in for more than a couple of hands. Just to make the introduction. Since they always took his money they were cool with that.

Anyway these hipster guys took over and their idea was not to change much. Same decor. Same fixtures. Just put in a pool table and a ladies room and you were good to go.

We belly up to the bar and order. I can have one glass of wine which I did and Lisa had a Cosmo. We talk to the bartender as we do and what do you know? He recognized us from the show because he lived across the street and saw us filming and made sure that he caught it when it was on. Small world.

What was good about the bar was that were not a lot of young kids in there so we felt comfortable. I said to Lisa "Hey it's an older crowd. And I am ten years older than everyone so if anybody calls me pops I will have to pop him in the snoot." Like I could do that. I am too fucking old for that foolishness.

The music was good too! Van Morrison. The Doors. Fogerty. Classics that the Old Dawgs would play. Just not a lot of Mail Order Filipinos. Just older dirty hippie chicks with grey hair under their arms.

They kept a bunch of the old photos and memorabilia from the club. It was funny to look at them and see some of the old characters from the neighborhood. I was naming them to Lisa when the bartender heard me and said they had no idea who they were and wanted to write it down. I said no way. Let those guys rest in peace. They were mostly simple workingmen but a couple of wiseguys were mixed in who were best not mentioned if you know what I mean.

A staple in clubs of that era (the sixties) would have this photo of the first Catholic President. Everyone had high hopes for him. Of course in some of the other social clubs they would throw darts at it or even shoot at it after Bobby went after the Mob. But these guys always had a soft spot for the first Family of Catholic America no matter how much they fucked up. Luckily none of their daughters got drowned or killed with a golf club or something.

The group shots of the old membership and their citations and awards were more interesting to me.  You see this joint was for the guys who couldn't get into the Knights of Columbus for one reason or another. I think the Pope would excommunicate them or something.

They did add some modern signs of the times just to keep current. They have to have rules after all.

I was generally enjoying myself but then I realized I couldn't stay and keep drinking. I am on a strict diet of one glass of wine a night and I had my quota in the first five minutes we were there. So I was not happy. We paid up and went on to the Greek Place.

We got our table. But they have to get to know me better. Because you can say a lot of shit about me but you can't say that.

Just sayn'

Those that forget history are doomed to repeat it.

There has been an renewed interest in the First World War as we are hitting the centenial of that conflict. The conditions that predated that conflict seem to be recurring again. Instead of the French and the Germans we have the USA and China. With Russia and India thrown in to boot.

There has been a revival almost nostalgia for the event that triggered the war. Cavrilo Princep murdered the Archduke and it all went down hill from there.

I am currently reading an book about alternative outcomes of the First World War called "In Other Trenches." It is very interesting.

The similarities to today's political scene are scary.

Like Honey Nut Cheerios

What does it taste like when you get screwed.

Carmelo Anthony has decided to opt out of his contract with the Knicks and is going to join another team. You would think he would stay with the team that can pay him the most money but he claims he want to go where he can win. I say good riddance.

Carmelo Anthony is the typical overpaid under performing NBA player that made me give up on the sport. I used to have Knick season tickets. Now I can barely watch the games. The game has changed too much for me. What it was in the 1970's, 1980's even the 1990's is not anywhere what it is today. It is the final victory of the style of play that has ended any vestige of interest in the game.

I hope he has a lot of fun in Houston or Chicago. I know he is not going to win.

More excommunication News!

So the mackerel snappers are not the only ones to excommunicate people. The Mormons are doing it too!

They are thinking about excommunicating a woman who is insisting on woman being made priests and bishops and taking over certain sinecures in the Mormon Church. They are not having it. Instead of weaseling out of it like the Catholics do they are going to excommunicate her and throw her out. She can be a priest or a bishop or a rabbi or mugwump or whatever she wants to be. Just not in the Mormon church.

I support this fully. Even though I think the Mormons are nut jobs. I mean who needs more than one wive. How are you going to know who is yelling at you? Jeeez.

PS. They also said they would excommunicate Paulie Walnuts if it got them in the papers. Just sayn'

The Back Store

The back store is getting there. The gate is on and we are getting the contractor there next week. Right now we are busy cleaning it out and putting everything in the room in the cellar. It is very busy and exhausting work.

I don't know how we will get it all done.

Going to the Greek

So we had a very hard day Friday with the cleaning crew and all the work we are doing to fix up the back store. I was too tired to cook so we decided to go to our new go-to place the Greek restaurant on Smith St.

We had the two dips and spinach pies for appetizers. There was the Fava Mani which is a chick pea puree and the Tzatziki which is yogurt, cucumber and dill. Along with the pita we also get a dish of cucumber slices to dip and it was great. The spinach pies were flaky perfection.

The main course was salad. Big Greek Salads with feta cheese and lots of greens and tomato and onion and olives. We got a couple of good side dishes. Especially the Greek Fries.

They aren't very good for me so I only had a couple. Covered in Olive Oil and Feta cheese they were great. A little indulgence because we went with the salad.

Desert was something different. Yogurt with a sour cherry sauce. It was superb. Much better than cake or ice cream.

Afterward we went to Brooklyn Social which is a bar down the street. More about that later.

Today is one of the best days of the Year

It's Old Timers day at Yankee Stadium.

I remember when I was a kid and all of the Old-Timers were guys who played with Babe Ruth and Lou Gerhrig and Joe DiMaggio. The last guy announced was always Joe. He was a bit of a pussy. He wouldn't come if he wasn't the last one announced as the "Greatest Living Yankee." When Steinbrenner had Billy Martin come out and be announced as the new manager when he got fired.....well Joltin Joe was really pissed off. If he hadn't loved Billy he never would have come back.

All through the years it was guys like Joe and Mickey and Yogi and Whitey Ford and Elston Howard. Then you had the seventies guys like Guidry and Murcer and Roy White and Jake Gibbs. Now it is all the Ninties guys like Tino and Paul O'Neil and Bernie Williams. This year it was the first time for Johnny Damon and Matsui. Holy Cow! Those guys are Old timers now.

I remember one of the highlights was when they recognized the wives of the fallen heros. It was always an emotional moment when they announced the appearance of Mrs. Babe Ruth and Mrs. Lou Gehrig. (Can you guess which is which)

Now we have a lot more lengedary Yankees who have left us too soon. Mrs. Thurman Munson. Mrs. Billy Martin. Mrs. Catfish Hunter. Mrs. Bobby Murcer. They were all there. When they play the Thurman Munson tribute video there is not a dry eye in the house.

I remember all the years I used to go to Old timers games. I was never one for authographes but it was great to see the old timers come out and run around like they were kids. I don't go to the game much anymore. It costs way too much and I have the store and I am too busy. You see I am an Old Timer now. Going to the game takes too much out of me. But I remember it on days like today.

It's great to be a Yankee fan.

Tradition.

Just a regular Sunday

Today was the feast of Corpus Christy. The Body and Blood of Christ.

All of the usual faces were in church today. No visiting fireman. Nobody that only shows up on Christmas and New Year’s. Just a regular Sunday and a regular summer in a regular year.

In the homily Father Chris mentioned that 13 new priests would be consecrated today at the seminary. That is an exceptionally big class. In the past three years they consecrated 27 new priests. In the same time 57 have died. The numbers aren’t going to work. He said by the end of the decade at least three of the neighboring parishes will close. Not for a lack of the faithful. But for a lack of priests. Unless they import them.

At one time they would import them from Italy or Ireland. When the great swathes of immigration hit New York these immigrant priests would come and tend to their flocks. However that does not seem to be the case with the current mass of immigrants. In this as in so many other things they are very different than previous patterns of immigration.

The best bet for the Church is to import priests from Africa, China or the Philippines. These areas are still a hotbed for true believers who are not busy signing up for the latest politically correct cause. We have a visiting priest from Ghana every August and I have to say he makes me sound like a dirty hippie. I look forward to hearing him preach the word even if I don’t hardly understand half of what he has to say. He works in deepest darkest Africa with poor sick kids dying of Aids. He doesn’t have much patience with trendy American nonsense. We need to import some more of these guys. The bishop should be more like George Steinbrenner and less like Donald Trump.

There was a phrase in the second gospel where Jesus said “Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died,
whoever eats this bread will live forever." Now how does one interpret that? Does that mean that everyone who went before will not get to heaven? I don’t think that is right. I mean Moses and Noah and Zachariah and all those dudes don’t make the cut? But it could be. That Old Testament God was a tough guy. He didn’t hold with nonsense. He smited you big time when you got out of line. Pillar of salt stuff or getting swallowed by a big fish. So who knows? It is something to think about.

I get restless when we go away from the basics. Going to Church on Sunday. Honoring your mother and your father. Helping the poor and the sick and the lame. Standing up for the innocent. Especially the innocent unborn. Taking the body and blood of Christ and knowing that it makes part of the community of faith. Not dabbling in the politics of resentment and reparations and income inequality and every other thing. Maybe that makes me a “Shite” Catholic. Not cool. Not trendy. Not on board with the latest thing. Not playing the tambourine and singing pop songs in church.

Just a regular guy. In a regular pew. In a regular church. On a regular Summer Sunday.

Pope excomunicates Mafia guys but pro-abortion nitwits get a free ride.

The "peoples Pope" made a big deal out of excommunicating members of "The Mafia." Which is kind of unusual because the church hasn't been excommunicating people much these days. That was all so passe. So many people who break the rules of the church are welcomed because we have to "hate the sin but love the sinner."

How does a guy like Andrew Cuomo get a break? He pushed for one of the most radical abortion laws in US history where they can perform an abortion when the baby can walk and talk. But he slides by without a word from the hierarchy. How does that work exactly?

At least the Mafia guys donate a lot of dough and get our artifacts back when junkies steal them. 

I have to admit I just don't get this Pope.

A Man Needs a Maid (Again)

So yesterday was a disaster. We have been without cleaning help for about two months. The store is being cleaned by the employees who don't do the deep cleaning job that you need. They vacum and dust but no mopping of deep cleaning where you move all the racks and stuff. Plus we have no one for the house and that sucks. Usually we spend one of our "day's off" fabric shopping or going to the factory so the other "day off" we were cleaning the house. Normally we are so exhausted that it is really hard to get everything done right.

A couple of weeks ago I got a call from a cleaning company called "Capital Contractors." They do business cleaning and when I talked to them they said they would do residential cleaning as well. The girl who followed up made an appointment and came to the store and the house to assess the job. Then set up another appointment for the "cleaning supervisors" to come and assess the job. Now on the day that was supposed to happen she was two hours late and I dealt with the two supervisors. That gave me a bad feeling. So I did not sign the contract. Then I went to the store yesterday for the first cleaning day. What a fiasco.

They send two people to do the job. A worker and a "Field Supervisor." They said they had to come at 9AM which sucks because we open at noon. But I got there early. They were 45 minutes late.

The original Supervisor  was there and made the introductions and sort of went over the job with them. He was a speedy Gonzalez Puerto Rican guy. Lot's of energy. The two they left not so much. The "Field Supervisor" was this chocolate pudding Luther Vandross motherfucker who didn't know how to clean his own balls. When he got up on the ladder to clean the chandeliers I thought he was going to swing on them and bat at bi-planes and shit instead of cleaning them. He had no idea what the fuck he was doing. I had to go get a bucket of water and soap and give him a rag. Then he started spinning it to clean the back side. Dude that was how the Mexican maid got it to fall out of the ceiling the last time. Get down and move the fucking ladder. I had to supervise the whole thing even though they called every other douchenozzle a supervisor.

The other worker was a lady who was working mostly in the back. She was supposed to give the bathroom a good cleaning. So when I went back there I had a look because I knew exactly what Lisa would do. There was a candle on the back of the sink in the corner. I picked it up. There was a ring on the surface which meant that this bitch did not pick it up. I showed it to her and she cleaned it without comment. Except rolling her eyes like I asked her to birth a baby or something like that there. I think what she was really doing most of the time was this:

You see what they didn't realize is that Lisa was at home watching this on the camera and calling me on the phone and yelling at me to yell at them. While taking screen shots of the bullshit going on. So I had to tell them and worse show them what to do. So I was moving racks and Lisa would call on the phone and yell at me for moving racks because of my heart condition. So I got it from both ends.

I am having them come Monday to clean the yard because I really need that but once that is done and over I am telling them that their services are not required. When they ask me why I am just going to show them this:

It is starting to get there

This is what the final result of the dresser we bought from the dirty hippies. Well actually not the final final. You see Lisa wasn't happy with it. You will notice the missing tooth in the middle cabinet right? Also the yellow was too green. Yes that's a thing.

Sean the guy who did the painting is slumped over it. Lisa made him cry. He is taking it back. I mean he is charging a lot and this is the centerpiece of the new store so it has to be perfect. We will see what we will see.

Remember this is what it originally looked like: