Your sisters ass.

The stupidest thing in this phony ginned up panic because of Tom Hank's disease is the run on toilet paper.

When we went shopping it was ridiculous how some items were off the shelves because of the bogus panic caused by the scumbags in the media. In the mainstream supermarkets where the poor people go like King Kullen and Stop and Shop there was no rice or beans or pasta. Fortunately there was plenty of gluten free pasta so we bought a couple of extra packages. But this was the state of the bread shelves:

Nary a loaf of bread to be seen except for the stupid whole grain shit that nobody would want to buy. Why the rush to buy all  the bread? What they weren't going to make anymore? It is all bullshit.

Later we went to the pricey organic supermarket where all the rich people go. Guess what? They had plenty of everything. Of course everything costs two dollars more than in the mainstream stores but the rich bastards didn't have to worry. We only get very selected items there that we can't get anywhere else but that goes to show you.

What I really feel to understand is why there was no toilet paper or paper towels. What did everybody shit at work so if they had to stay at home they had to have a lifetime supply in the shed in the backyard? Now we were lucky since they had a big sale two weeks ago and we stocked up.But still and all is this going to be the new cocaine? I read a ridiculous article about this guy who went around and bought up a bunch of hand sanitize bottles and wanted to sell them on Amazon for $20 a bottle. Only Amazon stopped him because they said he was a profiteer. Look assholes he is a capitalist. He is selling and people want to buy. He isn't holding a gun to their heads. Who the fuck is Amazon to tell him how much money he can make from fleecing stupid people. A bunch of people went to Costco and bought up a bunch of toilet paper and are selling it on EBay. That's the freakin American way for fucks sake.

This ridiculous overreaction is being driven by news medias obsession with destroying President Trump. A news bunny on Fox News told this essential truth and was taken off the air immediately.  The sheeple are going along with the abrogation of their individual rights. There is going to be  a bill to be paid when this is all over and we find out that more people were killed walking in Baltimore than by this bogus pandemic.

I think we should take the news media types and hang them from the nearest lamppost.

The Summer of Boo Boo

We were really excited about our new neighbors. They came from overseas. In fact they were Chinese. Mama was happy because she thought she could get them to do the laundry. Brother Bear kind of liked their young daughter. He even stopped playing with himself and stalking campers with long brown hair. 

Only Papa Bear was not happy. He didn't trust foreigners. Especially slant eyed Bears. He was right for once.

You see the Chinese girl gave Brother Bear a Virus.

 (Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)

Wake up....Trump got rolled

Donald Trump just got rolled. He turned into John McCain canceling his campaign and rushing back to Washington to solve a bogus financial crisis. He gave into the panic generated by the Fake News that has blown everything out of proportion with the current flu crisis. I though he had a handle on it when he was saying that at worst this will be slightly more the number of people who die in a normal flu year. He let the news media and the Democrats and the Never Trumpers and even the people in his own administration that have their own agenda take him to the cleaners. Instead of holding steady and doing what he was doing he made a speech to the nation and closed the borders. Set up an economic dislocation that could very well lead to a recession. Undoing all the good work he did with the economy in one fell swoop. What a big mistake!

I remember when the world came to an end during the Y2K crises. Don't you remember when all the computers stopped working? How it took years until it got back to normal.

Or how about how killing that Iranian terrorist guy caused World War 3. Didn't that happen just a couple of weeks ago? I remember all of the usual suspects telling us that would happen.

When did we turn into a nation of faggots. I remember when the NBA let Magic Johnson play and he had fucking AIDS! Now somebody got a sniffle and they cancel the season. Even a white sport like baseball is cancelling their season. The Broadway Shows are cancelling when they were content to fuck each other in the ass nonstop spreading AIDS and it was business as usual. It's just ridiculous.

This so called crisis is totally overblown. Look it is much more dangerous to go for a walk in Baltimore than having someone sneeze on you.  You are more likely to get hit by lighting or find a feminist you would want to fuck than you would die of this corona shit. Sure old bastards like me and Sixty have to watch out. But the rest of the world can go on living and loving and watching the fucking game for fucks sake.

This is an unmitgated disaster. Not because of a flu that is going to kill marginally more Joe Bidens drooling in  their depends. But because of the econmoic dislocation and the way people are giving away their civil liberties. The sheeple are letting scumbags like Cuomo ban gatherings of more then five hundred people! Letting him call out the National Guard and stopping people from living your lives. That's how you got the Japs in concertration camps and limitless abortions and the Kardashians. By letting the lying news media and greedy politicians tell you want to do.

WAKE UP AND TAKE YOUR COUNTRY BACK BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!!!!

Marilyn's Diary

In the Munster family I was the one who was artistic. As opposed to Cousin Eddie who was autistic. At least that was the excuse we used to use when he was arrested for peeping in windows or stealing ladies panties off of clotheslines. Eddie was a little pervert.

I had a problem in college. Well I had a couple of problems because Uncle Herman would ream me out when we made love and I had to walk bowlegged most of the time. I told every one I had a horse. It was not that much of a lie. I was riding a horsecock every night.

My main problem was I didn't know what to major in because you have to remember it was in the Sixties. Women basically had the choice to be teachers or to get knocked up and marry some guy from the frat next door. I never wanted to teach so I decided to study art for a while.

I liked to paint. Mostly watercolors. Mainly because Uncle Herman loved water sports. My true vocation was in sculpture. I wasn't much for hammer and chisel. I loved to work in clay. I would often sculpt members of the family. Of course my favorite was my beloved Uncle Herman.

I would love to stick my fingers in the malleable clay and shape his bust. Almost as much as he liked to thrust his fingers in my young firm nubile malleable bust and squeeze and shape them every night. Of course that was not my favorite thing. My favorite was the plaster casting.

You see I had this friend Cynthia and her thing was to make a plaster cast of rock stars dicks. She did all the big time guys. Jimi Hendrix. Van Morrison. He was Irish so it was tiny so we saved a lot on plaster. Jim Morrison. Mick Jagger. I was able to help get started by introducing her to the Beach Boys. Aunt Lily was great friends with Dennis Wilson who was also buddies with Aunt Lily/s good friend Charlie. We were able to sneak into a jam session and Cynthia was able to cast a bunch of them. Dennis. Mike Love. Even Brian which was surprising because he was catatonic at the time. Still it was harmless fun. None of them held a candle to my Uncle Herman.

I still take the cast to bed with me every night. You can understand why.

Misposted form WKRLEM: Very different without productions values

Betty Rubble is a Dirty Girl

You can get in trouble if you post things that Google doesn't like.

But you never get in trouble if you post dirty photos of Betty Rubble.

Because even the beta geeks at Google know......Betty Ruble is a dirty girl.

The Captain Abides

The Captain became the second of the Core Four to be elected to the Hall of Fame today. He was a first ballot inductee but he still got screwed. One moron didn't vote for him so it wasn't unanimous as was the ballot for the great Mariano.  Along with Larry Walker in the regular ballot and Ted Simmons in the Veterans Committee bullshit. Another deserving nominee Red Sox asshole Curt Schilling was denied again because he is an out conservative and most sports writers are communists.

The voting for the Hall has always been screwed up as there was a big movement to not put players on in the first year of eligibility. Which is bullshit because you are a Hall of Famer or you are not. You don't magically become more of a Hall of Famer in one year. The other is that people who are definitely Hall of Famers but are denied for reasons other than their performance. Curt Schilling. Pete Rose. Now it is Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. Now I hate Roger like the Arabs hate the Jews but I have to admit his performance demands that he be elected unanimously on the first ballot. The same for Bonds and Rose. Look they always do comparisons with players that in the Hall already.  You have to let in this outfielder or that because Harry Heilman or Reggie Jackson have much worse stats. There are a bunch of people in the Hall who did terrible things including murder. You have to go by their performance not their moral character. At least that's what I think. I would have to swallow letting Clemens in and Rose as well Their performance demands it. You are not in their because of you character. You are there because of you performance on the field.

Now we can wait for Spinelli's rant about how they should never be in the Hall.

By the way I hate that I have to stick up for famous Red Sox assholes like Schilling and Clemens.

Because you know one important fact that negates all others.

Boston Sucks.

Remembrance of things Pabst

Those of youse guys who were readers of the old Trooper York blog might remember this series. Where I would detail all of the many joints I might have bounced around to for dinner or drinks. Those days are over now. Due to my health requirements and Lisa's dietary limitations there are not many places we can eat out. There are very few places that offer decent gluten free options and I really can't eat salt and everything you get in a restaurant is salted up the wazhoo.

So gone are the days of Marco Polo or Casa Rosa or The Red Rose or Mezcal's or any of the other places we used to frequent. But some days call for eating out and our recent anniversary called for just such an unusual night out.

We went to place called Meta Osteria which actually has a gluten free menu. They don't have a separate kitchen so I can't be sure there was no cross contamination but Lisa seems to get by all right there so it was the only nice alternative.

Here I am channeling Joe the Boss Masseria before Benny Siegel walked in and whacked him in Coney Island. I am enjoying the superb veal cutlet parmigiana that they serve here. Check it out:

That is a nice thick cutlet not a chop since there is no bone in it. Still and all it was dredged in flour and breaded and covered in mozzarella and a delicious sweet marinara sauce. Now this is a portion that is made for a man. Plus it comes with a side of spaghetti. So I was happy. It was really, really salty though so I paid for it for a week by filling up with water and having some heart complications. But it was worth it. Take a closer look:

See Chip doesn't document his delicious meals by posting photos of when he was half way through!
It takes a Brooklyn gavone to do that!

Oh I didn't post the appetizer. Here are the rice balls:

I started eating them before I took the photo so pardon me.

We ended it off with dessert. I had the tartufo and Lisa had some gelato:

All in all it was a great night out and a Remembrance of Things Pabst. We can't party like we used to but we still can enjoy a night out now and again.

Memories.....Misty water-colored memories of the way we were!

 I used to love Bat Day. Remember those? That was when you went to Yankee stadium and they actually gave you a bat. It was inscribed with the name of one of the players. The first one I ever got was an Elston Howard bat in 1965. That was a real bat. It was heavy. To heavy for a young Trooper York to use in the softball games we used to play in Carroll Park or Red Hook field, You see we used to go to the park with a team made up of kids from the block. We would bring our gloves and bats and a couple of clinchers and get into a game. Sometimes it was almost a tournament. You kept the field if you won. It was usually a triple header. 

I always would bring my Jim Lyttle bat that I got in 1970. It was perfect. It wasn't too heavy and I could whip it around like a wiffle ball bat which is what I had the most practice using. I loved that bat.

Jim Lyttle was an outfielder who had a cup of coffee with the Yankees for a couple of years. He hit 310 in 1970 in a limited role. Those were the Horace Clarke Yankees and it was a punishment from God on Yankee fans because Nuns were leaving the convent and they had the Mass in English. So we had to suck it up and take it like a man. I always followed his career when he bounced around the big leagues and later spent many years in Japan. I would check out the box score in the Sporting News to see how he was doing, Hey that's something nobody does anymore, It is all on the internet,

Jim Lyttle was one of the marginal Yankees that I always rooted for as a fan. I wasn't so much for the big stars like Bobby Murcer or Don Mattingly or even Jeter for that matter. I always rooted the most for the guy who was hanging on. Scrappy get in your face types. Jim Lyttle. Johnnie Ellis, Jim Mason. Steve Kline. Rusty Torrez. Jake Gibbs. Bobby Meachum. David Wells. Those were my peeps.

They don't do Bat Day anymore because I think they are afraid the people with hit each other over the head or something. Another wonderful thing from my childhood like full size Ring Dings and all white neighborhoods that are gone forever.

Still and all I will continue to root for my team. I hope youse guys root for yours. I know Lem will be rooting for his beloved Red Sox. I think he is rooting for them to get a good tan as they are on vacation.

Because as we all know. Boston sucks.

Dear Tulsi

Dear Tulsi,

I just wanted to drop you a line to thank you for the way you bitch slapped that uppity mulatto the other night. It was a pleasure to behold.

Not as big a pleasure as when I smelt your hair when I swore you in as a Member of the House in your first term. You were not the only member that was excited that night. I remember standing behind you and rubbing your shoulders and smelling your hair. It smelt like the Beach and Hawaiian Tropiic sunscreen. Oh those were  the days. When we Democrats were in charge of everything and the Orange Man was just on a TV show.

Anyhoo it doesn't look like you are going to make the next debate. I am sorry I would have loved  to smell....errr see you again. Just hang loose because I will be needing a woman of color for my VP and you are right up my alley Tulsi.

Ma-hole-o baby.

Your pal
Uncle Joe Biden

Dear Tulsi

Dear Tulsi:

There is a definite possibility that I will be killed in my attempt to get you elected as President. It is for this very reason that I am writing you this letter now.

As you well know by now, I love you very much. The past seven months I have left you dozens of poems, letters and messages in the faint hope you would develop an interest in me.

Although we talked on the phone a couple of times, I never had the nerve to simply approach you and introduce myself. Besides my shyness, I honestly did not wish to bother you ... I know the many messages left at your door and in your mailbox were a nuisance, but I felt it was the most painless way for me to express my love to you.

I feel very good about the fact you at least know my name and how I feel about you. And by hanging around your campaign office I've come to realize that I'm the topic of more than a little conversation, however full of ridicule it may be. At least you know that I'll always love you.

Tulsi, I would abandon this idea of doing what I must do in a second if I could only win your heart and live out the rest of my life with you, whether it be in total obscurity or whatever. I will admit to you that the reason I'm going ahead with this attempt now is because I just cannot wait any longer to impress you. I've got to do something now to make you understand in no uncertain terms that I am doing all of this for your sake. By sacrificing my freedom and possibly my life I hope to change your mind about me. This letter is being written an hour before I leave for the debate.

Tulsi, I'm asking you to please look into your heart and at least give me the chance with this historical deed to gain your respect and love.

With all my love,
John

Dear Tulsi

Dear Tulsi,

It's me. Kamala. Look bitch I don't think you want me to go upside your head you pineapple pussy skank. Wach you think dogging me like that at the debate. I thought women of color need to stick together. Didn't you get the memo or did I have to send it by drum or some such shit like they do in Hawaii.

Look so I smoke a little pot and I put a lot of people in jail for selling it. So what? Old man Biden passed lots of bills about sex abuse and he is always fingering 13 year old girls whose daddy's just got appointed dog catcher or sum shit like that there. Look at Spartacus. That dude dares to talk about his boo when you know when he is talking about T Bone he is talking about what he gets where the sun don't shine. We all be liars. We're Democrats for fucks sake!

Look don't make look you up. Keep my name out of your mouth. I didn't swallow so much of Willie Browns cum to go down like this. I will cut a bitch.

Wach your mouth bitch or I am coming for you.

Sincerely your colleague and soul sister,
Kamala

Baby come back

                                                             I am going to start posting here again. I know I said that before but it has been tough since I am not in front of my computer as much as before.



So I am going to try to use my iPad instead.

I can't get past how bad "Hero" turned out.

I posted about the movie "Hero" over at Lem's the other day. I can't get over how crappy that movie turned out.

I am a big Sam Elliott fan. So when I heard there was a movie built around him and his persona as a Western Icon I thought it would be good. You know. A man who personifies the values of the old West lost in the amoral world of today's Hollywood. They had a tiny bit of that but they turned him into a drug addled loser.

I guess Hollywood writers write about what they know.

What a waste. Don't watch it even if it is for free on Amazon Prime. It is a waste of your time.

Betty Ruble is a Dirty Girl...but Wilma is worse

Every so often the casts of the Flintstones and the Jetsons would get together.

Hilarity ensued.

Betty Rubble is indeed a dirty girl.

But Wilma is no slouch. Neither in Jane Jetson.

(Some things we have to keep from Lem. I don't want to sully his childhood memories.)

All My Sockpuppets are under the bed.

Things change. What was important last year is not a blip on the screen this year. Let alone things that happened three or four years ago.

Still people persist in their folly. I have a couple of people who email me tales from the darkside. Links to The Other Place when there is a particularly egregious example of bullshit. I think it is to get me to respond. To post over there. Or maybe it is just my ego. My thoughts are not all that important in the scheme of things. Who gives a shit about what I have to say? I mean I am out of the loop over there. I am sure most people who post at TOP don't know who I am since they have new people all the time as any normal person will get tired of the nonsense pretty quickly. So I don't kid myself. And I don't want those emails anymore because I want nothing to do with the dysfunctional circle jerk. I am just another insignificant blip on the blogger world. Nobody to listen too or care about my opinion since I have dropped out of the rat race.

None the less this last one is pretty funny. Someone claims that they never used a sock puppet because if they did they would just do it to be a "shitty person."

Trust me. You don't need to do that. You have already achieved your goal.

Bye Fiona.

Am I on the Train?

Instant Replay-The Unedited Edition

Coach Lombardi was always a big patriot. As all of us on the Packers were. Many of us were vets and some of us were in the reserves. So we all stood at attention and held our hands over our hearts when they played the Anthem. Except for some of the Negros

They seemed to have a different view. There weren't that many of them on the team and the ones we had all stuck together. Not the way Paul Hornung got stuck to some of the rookies in the shower. More that they always hung out together. Now there weren't many Negros in Green Bay at the time. So they kind of stood out and were under a microscope.

They were always grumbling and complaining under their breath. They never said anything to Coach. Because he would cut them the next day. So they just kept their ideas to themselves. All of the black power and protest stuff was not something that was allowed in the locker room. Coach said to keep all of the politics out off the field.

Which made it all the more surprising when Lionel Aldridge decided to kneel during the National Anthem. That shocked everyone. It was during an exhibition game and the Coach wasn't even aware of what happened. When he found out he called Lionel into his office and read him the riot act. You see Coach Lombardi had coached at West Point. He was a super patriot. He wouldn't stand for it. We all expected that Lionel would be traded to Detroit or something.

But a funny thing happened. Nothing. Lionel apologized to the team and it never happened again. I had to ask the Coach what happened.

"Coach I don't understand. Why didn't you fine Lionel for disrespecting the flag?" "Fine him I was going to cut him. But once I talked to him I realized it wasn't right. You know he is crazy." "What?" "Yeah he is crazy as a loon. I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up in the nut house someday. You know how I knew that he really is a crazy person?" "No coach how did you know?" "He married a white girl." "Gotcha."
(Instant Replay- The Unedited Edition, Jerry Kramer & Dick Schaap Random House 1968)

Did you ever get the feeling......

That if the Social Justice Warriors were right and the Trump administration was full of Nazi's.....we would not be having a problem with John McCain.

Did you ever get the feeling

That you are really glad you don't go to the blogs you used to frequent because it got really ugly.

So to speak.

DId you ever get the feeling....

That there is a reason that we never saw Obama on a cooking show?

Gratuitous Bathtub Scenes

"Make sure you get my back."
"I would much rather I get your front."
"Wait a minute. There are no lesbians in the Handmaid's Tale."
"No. Just Scientologists."

Camel Toe Corner......The Voice Edition

Did you know that most of the most popular posts on my blog involve Camel Toe?

I guess it is just people googling the image but still. Who'd a thunk it?

Betty Rubble is a Dirty Girl

That girl is pretty wild now
The girl's a super freak
The kind of girl you read about
In the new wave magazines.
That girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak
I'd really like to taste her
Every time we meet.
She's all right, she's all right
That girl's all right with me yeah.
She's a super freak, super freak,
She's super freaky, super freak, super freak.

But most of all......Betty Rubble is a Dirty Girl.

Dick loves Pat and Pat loves Dick

"This is disgusting Dick. Why are we eating in a tent?"
"Because Ike likes to pretend he is still in the Army and if I want to be Vice President I have to kiss up to him. So just eat your steak and shut up."
"I still understand why we can't be inside. I mean Mamie is eating inside. Mrs. Hoover is inside. Even Marget Chase Smith is inside. Why are we the only ones outside. Well us and the Stassen's."
"Because Ike likes to humilate his subordinates. He learned that from MacArthur in the Philippines when he was his aide. He had to dress up like a geshia and serve tea to Mac and his cronies. So now its his turn to humiliate people."
"That's not very Presidential."
"Of course it is Pat. Most Presidents revel in humiliation. William Howard Taft would sit on his Cabinet members. Calvin Coolidge would have silent game contests. Teddy Roosevelt would tweak their nipples and if they cried he would fire them. Maybe someday a President will humiliate people in public and not care what people think. At least I hope so."

Marilyn's Diary

Living in Southern California people get the acting bug. You know. So much of the economy is based on the entertainment industry. Especially in the 1960's, It was different. They would cast you right off the street. You didn't have to get an agent or anything. Someone would come up to you and offer to sign you for a series. It even happened to my Uncle Herman.

You see this casting agent walked up to him at the market. They wanted him to audition for a role on sitcom. He thought he had the "Look" that would get people to watch. It was called F Troop. He was up for the role of Sergeant O'Rourke the rascally first sergeant who had scams operating all over the post. The role called for someone with charm and a twinkle in their eye. However this paticular casting director required something a little extra.

You see he was gay. Most of Hollywood was gay. Just closeted in the sixties but still he made his preferences known. So when he saw Uncle Herman and the bulge in his pants he immediately tried to sign him for the sitcom. Unfortunately he was not much of an actor so he lost the role. To Forrest Tucker. Which was only because they couldn't get Milton Berle.

It was a real shame. I really think Uncle Herman could carry a sitcom.

You think I am trapped here with you....you don't understand....you are trapped here with me!

Welcome Back Kotter .........In reverse

I have opened up the blog to all comers. So play nice.

I went down a memory hole and I can't get back.....

Binges. Binge eating. Binge drinking. Binge watching. Binge reading. I like binges.

Since I have to watch what I eat and I can't really drink anymore I have to satisfy my craving by bing watching shows on Hulu and binge reading on my Kindle.

Lately I have been reading the novels of Griff Hosker. I found him on Amazon and started reading some of his series. They are like peanuts. You get one and you just want to keep going. I thought it was a good research project. Read someone who is a very successful genre writer that most people have not heard of but is still earning a great living. This dude is a couple of years younger than me and has published 90 novels! That's right 90! They all go for less than five bucks and seem to be pretty popular. Now don't get me wrong. They all sort of seem the same. Or the the same themes. He repeats himself a lot. The action scenes in paticular. But if you are a Game of Thrones fan and aren't into rape and incest it is decent escapist reading.

He seems to specialize in medieval England with series devoted to the Saxons, Normans, Vikings and the Plantagenets. A decent way to spend some time.

Recommended for what it is. A good value for the money.

Hey it's time to take a Poll....it's been a while

Whose your favorite:

Walk like a Man!

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of

Things change. Change is in fact the only constant. I was away for awhile. Now I am back.

Things have changed a lot in my life so I am changing things up. The reason for keeping the blog private have ended so I am opening it up again. At least for a a time. Lets see how it goes.

I hope that those of you who commented here will come back. I hope new people come as well. I don't how often I will be posting. I will try for at least one a day. I think I can confidently say that is possible. 

Strap up. It is going to be a bumpy ride.

I just love this photo so much I had to post it.

It is from one of Chip's posts at Lems. Funniest thing I have seen in a while.