Deep in the bowels of Disney World is a cryogenic crypt. It holds the remains of several celebrities who have been frozen in the hope they can be reanimated. Walt Disney. Howard Hughes. Richard Nixon. Joan Crawford. The remains of the evil and poisonous cadre who have sold their souls in the hope of eternal life.
But now everything has changed. They have managed to reanimate one of the evil ones. The disembodied head of Ted Williams has come back to life. His acolytes approach and grovel before his noggin encased in a large glass receptacle.
Theo Epstein: Oh mighty one, what can we do to distract our fans from the fact that we are not if first place. For some reason our fans are panicking and the Damn Yankees fans are not even though they are below us in the standings.
The Head of Ted Williams: It is the women you fool. The Yankees always get the girl. They’re stars are always banging beautiful actresses and singers. Joe had Marilyn. Derek Jeter has done every hot girl in Hollywood. Even that douche bag A-Rod is banging Madonna. Why can’t our stars get on the front page with hot women?
Theo Epstein: Well there is one problem with that Oh Mighty One.
The Head of Ted Williams: What’s the problem?
Theo Epstein: Well, our whole team is gay.
The Head of Ted Williams: Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Let them screw Tom Cruise or the Doogie Howser Guy or John Travolta or somebody to distract the fans.
Theo Epstein: But all our fans are gay. And you know they won’t get distracted, they will just get jealous.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
This sounds like a treatment for "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen II: What's That Up In The Road? A Head?"
Post a Comment