So we are having a rockin' Saturday with a full store and a store full of my customers. Now not everyone who comes into the store is one of "My Customers." It's sort of like being a "True Yankee." You see when I opened the store some of my friends in the neighborhood said it could never last. I told them I wasn't counting on the people in the neighborhood because they don't go for spit. My true customers come from out of town. So I had a full room with girls from Puerto Rico, Connecticut, Long Island, Atlantic City and Chicago. Then we had an incident.
This hipster dofous bitch comes in carrying a little yappy dog. I am behind the counter and tell her "Sorry Miss No Dogs." She goes "But I am carrying it." I said "Well our policy is no dogs."
"Well I think that's a shitty policy, this is a dog neighborhood."
Now I have lived here all my life and this twat probably moved here six months ago. I was going to give her my classic reply that I stole from Feech in the Soprano's "Good thing for me I don't give uh-goots what you think" But the wife got to her first. And unfortunately for stupid yuppie bitch,.........she released the Kraken!
The wife was in the back of the store and goes "Listen this is my policy. I used to let dogs in until two of them peed on my carpet. I don't have to justify what I do to anybody." "Well I don't have a kid, I have a dog and I should be able to bring him into the store." So I go from behind the counter "I wouldn't let your kid pee on the floor either sweetheart."
All this time she is standing in the doorway with the dog. My wife starts walk toward and she retreats and goes "Fuck you. I am going to blog about this" and gives my wife the finger as she runs away. The wife gets the door and goes "You crossed over the line bitch and I better not see you again."
She is gonna blog about it. Ooooohhhhhh!! This twat is not one of my customers and her two friends are not my clients either. So she can go fuck herself sideways.
It is perfectly reasonable to not alow dogs in a high end women's clothing boutique. You can't hold the dog in one hand and touch the clothes then switch hands and get dog hair on the clothes.l But the point is we have a sign that says "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone." That allows us to toss the people who want to start a problem.
This dumb bitch didn't know how close she came to catching a fucking beating. This isn't a dog neighborhood. It's a guinea neighborhood. She has no idea how lucky she is. She would have looked very strange running down Court Street with a little yappy dog shoved up her ass.
The problems of a shopkeeper.
25 comments:
I really don't understand people at times. Well actually most of the time. I can't think of many places that allow dogs other than service dogs. I really hate those little yappy dogs too, the kind where you just want to drop kick them acorss the room.
I'm just not a pet person anymore. I had dogs and cats all my life and about two months ago I put my last cat (she was 20) down and vowed that I would rather be prison raped then ever have another animal again.
Hey Troop, btw, Mrs. Hoosier had What Not to Wear on today (i think it was a repeat) and they had your store on!
Mister Shopkeeper I hear your dilemma but may I say not all dogs are created equally.
For example, if the rare clumbers attended your salon they would never pee or poop or lick their balls or anything.
They would sit while I try on cute outfits and would not move.
All I am saying is give dogs a chance.
Actually I don't think my rare clumbers have balls.
They were chopped off when there were like 4 months.
They do have hogs though and they do like to sniff another dogs hogs and lick their own every once and awhile but who doesn't? Do you know what I am saying, OK? Girllllllll.
My rare clumbers are also male and don't lift their legs.
They squat which is very unusual for a male dog.
Not sure why that is-is it environmental? Overbearing Mother? Genetic? Appreciation of Judy and Bette and Babs music?
The question that always seems to amaze and cause wonder.
I went to see if anyone had indeed blogged about the incident (besides you), and Google came up bupkis. But it did find this blog post; check the very last comment. It's from two years ago; I think you've proved it wrong.
http://www.brownstoner.com/brownstoner/archives/2008/07/the_tea_lounge.php
Titus you're a pal and all but not exceptions.
You don't want to see the Kraken. Trust me dude.
I had someone bring a Chihuahua into my restaurant. When I said something, they produced a certificate stating that the dog is a service animal. It was wearing a little service animal vest. Yeah, right.
mcg I couldn't get the archive from your post. But I bet it was the one where someone talked about the fact that she didn't think Lee Lee's Valise would last because it was a neighborhood were everyone was fit and walk a lot.
Which proved one thing. Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one.
Our three year anniversary is
May 5th.
Suck it skinny girl.
I liked Christy's Canyon's breasts. I did not think they were gross.
I found them large, transportable and "nice".
More breasts. Other women don't like other women's breasts.
Intimidation? Def.
We occasionally get a bad review on-line. Yelp which is a racket collects them and drops the favorable ones and then tells me I can fix it if I suscribe to their service.
Basicly you get a bunch of people who find fault with everything. There is no pleasing some people. You can't sweat it. Just do you best and have quality goods and good things will happen.
It is as simple as that.
Some of these women use their dogs instead of battery operated devices.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
I don't know the reason for your no dog policy and it's none of my business but I think a good reason for a no dog policy is that many people are afraid of dogs. Dog lovers don't understand that or if they do they have no patience for it but that doesn't change the fact that many people are so discomforted by dogs that they'll leave the store, obviously bad for business. Anyway that's my input for what it's worth. As you can probably guess I'm itching to go into my long and checkered history with dogs but being a completely mature and un-neurotic person I won't -- he he.
ricpic: a good reason for a no dog policy is that many people are afraid of dogs
Good point. I used to be like that, but not anymore. Now, if a dog gets all barky on me I'm liable to kick the thing. So, no dog policies prevent incidents.
You're a mensch after my own heart, Trooper. Ick to little yapping doglets!
As I read this I kept thinking you would be telling her, "Not if I blog it first!"
Bet she has no idea.
I don't mean to be a bitch but does Meade work?
Is he living off a state employer and receiving his health insurance from someone who could never get fired?
I am sorry but I am for personal freedom and this doesnt' sound republican to me.
I am all about firing someone who doesn't perform.
I work in HR, if you didn't know.
Pay for performance, otherwise you should be on a plan. I know that sounds strict but I believe that employees should meet certain standards, responsibilites and requirements.
You know me Titus, I am just like you and we both hate to be crude. But when you consider Mr. Greenjeans conjugal duties you have to figure he earns what ever he gets.
He works hard for his money. Just sayn.
You know what I thought of later Beth?
I should have snapped a photo of her and made up flyers and given them to every other merchant on Court St. "You don't want this bitch in your store."
But I am going to find out who she is and do something nice for her.
You see I always tell the wife to be Italian and not Irish.
You see we are both half Italian and half Irish. The Irish in us wants to yell and scream and blow our tops and challenge everyone in the bar to a fight.
The way to it is to have her go "Wait a minute...I have this pain in my back...let me reach back there....O mi god ....it's a knife.'
That's the Italian way.
That's my way.
Everyone's dog is special.
But they all taste the same to me.
Whoa! You almost let a blogger into your shop. Don't ever do that!
How long have you had the store now?
Michael H:
Good one ! One crazy blogger proprietor is one too many!
never mind I saw 3 years in your comment. How about dem Mets of yours!
Those Mets belong to ricpic and Windbag.
Don't worry it will be Yankees and the Phillies in the Series again.
I think we should sweep this time. Hee.
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