It's all there in Black and White....

"Hello who is it."
"It is me Trey. Selina. I know you have missed me. Admit it. You think about me all the time. It has been a long time."
"Yes it has been a while Selina but all of that is in a past life. I don't go back to the institute anymore. The problem with an insane asylum is that it is full of lunatics."
"That may be so Trey but we had something special. Come. I have dressed up for you. Let's dance. Don't you want to hold me in your arms like you used to do?"
"I can't do that anymore Selina."
"Yes you can Trey. Here let me touch you all over your body with my body. I just won't use my hands."

"Hamana, hamana, hamana, uuuurrrrpppphhhhh!!!!"
"OH TREY.....YOU'RE BACK!!!!!"

Deep Thoughts.....by Titus

Titus said...

Even though I gained a little pedigree I am still a midwestern farmer's daughter.

You can take me out of Wisconsin but you can't take the cheese out of me.

Or maybe it is just smegma.

tits.

The is no defense for that fraulein.....

"I am going on the stand Major but I hope you will not be too hard on me."
"I think you like it hard fraulein. Why else would you go out in the words with Robert Blake and Sargent Carter. Let alone the likes of edutcher and Seven Machos. You protest too much leibchen. You like the abuse. Admit it. In fact I can prove it."
"What do you mean? How can you prove it?"
"That dress! PLAID!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY BITCH YOU ARE JUST ASKING FOR IT!"
"Ohhhh boo hoo booo hoo boo hooo!"
"You make me sick. I have no pity for you."

It's not Amy's Garden it Strawberry Fields Forever!

Captain Queeg: Ahh, but the strawberries that's... that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers...
Lt. Barney Greenwald:Who are they trying to protect Captain?
Captain Queeg YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE!!!!!!......well everyone knows. They assume other identities to confuse me but I know who they really are.... I am the only one....the only one who is loyal and true...Why doesn't the powers that be acknowledge me....I am the only one who really believes...WHY DON"T THEY CARE!!!!! WHY DON"T THEY TELL ME HOW MUCH THEY LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whose that girl?

Her TV husband just shuffled off the mortal coil but she is going strong. She comes from a famous show biz family but her Dad wasn't Natty or even a King. I think there is no way you can call her unforgetable.

And you need eight kids nowadays to get your own show.

Whose that girl?

Seven Machos Unmasked!!!!!!!

He was so busy partying at a Mitt Romney festival that he stripped off his mask and fluffed a bunch of Mormons. He was overcome by Justice Roberts Rhino fever and he had to boogie down.

It is from Ryan Seacrests website.

Only in America!

What ever you say Mr Roberts....

---

Doug Roberts: You pretend you want me to improve your mind. You've never finished one book I've given you to read.
Ensign Pulver: I've finished "The Federalist Papers," Doug boy! And that Constitution thing.
Doug Roberts: I didn't give you that. He's been reading "God's Little Acre" for over a year now. He's underlined every erotic passage and added exclamation points. And after a certain pornographic climax, he's inserted the words "well written." He has never read the Consititution. Otherwise he would know that it is really a tax and not a mandate. Now leave me alone while I look for another excuse to make Chris Matthews love me.

Look out Sixty.....

It't the camel toe of your dreams.......oh....and whose that camel toe?

Hey for all of youse guys who hate banks and government grants....

Here is your chance to strike back and help me get one. Hee.

My bank Chase is doing a promotion where they will grant $250,000 to a small business. Now even though we had the show and all and we are doing good this is free money. Well at least it is money that I have been paying taxes and fees to give and I want a chance at getting some of it. It will let me open my factory and employ more people as I will put it right back in the economy.

So if you want to strike a blow for a Republican to get some gelt from the government please follow the link and vote for Lee Lee's Valise to be considered. I have to submit essays to see if they will pick me for the grant. I doubt that they will but I would love to be considered. Here is how you do it....

Go to this link.....

or put this in your browser do hickey.

https://www.missionsmallbusiness.com/?MSC=&iq_id=48981849&jp_cmp=cc/TESTMissionSmBusExact/sea/na/General

Scroll down and click on log in & support.

Enter Facebook account info.

Scroll down and search " Lee Lee's Valise" under Vote Locals.

Scroll down again and you will see Lee Lee Valise and click on VOTE.

　

Scroll down and click on log in & support.

Enter Facebook account info.

Scroll down and search " Lee Lee's Valise" under Vote Locals.

Scroll down again and you will see Lee Lee Valise and click on VOTE.

We only need fifty more to be in the running.

Help a brother out.......

Still the same ...no this is really different...and why I don't go to da club!

Still The Same

Whose that girl?

She was in just about every TV series in the 1970's in the roles that Kay Lenz didn't get. And she used to compete with Jane in a game of telling Henry "whose my daddy?"

Gary Numan wrote a song about her.

Whose that girl?

Allie changes her avatar....

Allie is spending her summer sprucing up her avatar and her commenting style for the summer.

It is gonna be hairy. Just sayn'

Chickenlittle is spending his summer doing a dinner tour!

He is traveling throughout the USA for work and contacting fellow bloggers and commenters to meet up for dinner and drinks.

Recently he visited Cheeseland and had a fabulous din din with a certain blogger and her gardener.

I can't wait till he gets to New York so we can go to Marco Polo for some Panini's and pasta and grappa!

Expect a full report.

Sixty Grit is looking for "Lovey" in all the wrong places!

Sixty wanted to indulge his Mr. Howell lifestyle so he bought a boat and he will be sailing around this summer. Enjoy my friend.

Summer is here and we have to get ready.....

So get ready for all the fun in the sun.

Oh by the way Darcy asked me to post the bikini shot that she deleted. I think it will be a great new avatar. Just sayn'

Hey we are just keeping at it.....

I am really busy....you see we have to keep at it as best as we can. I am trying to set up podcasts for Lisa to do to hold onto our fans. We are huge in Canada for some reason. BBC loves the show and is marketing it for overseas distribution. So who knows? We could be big in Europe and that will drive the engine. We are pulling out all stops to keep the momentum going as best as we can.

It is exhausting but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Of course we love pussy too.....

I have to get to some good Catwoman posts!

I mean just because Trey doesn't come back here anymore doesn't mean we can't continue the series.

Yeah that's the ticket. Maybe I can revive some of those old series. "Tales of Amy's Garden." "The Catwoman." "Tyler Perry's White House of Pain."

Yeah that's the ticket.

Cheer up Sixty....ask and you shall receive....

Sixty Grit said...
Well, I am more hurt than offended, having lost a beloved pet yesterday. You could at least change the picture to a pile of dead lawyers or law professors - that would cheer me up.

Hey I love dogs too........

I

I really do. It is just I have to go back to basics. Back to the fundamentals. Back to reason why this blog exists.

Because I am a Dick and I have to act like one as much as possible.

It helps me get along in my real life without killing someone. Just Sayn'

I do love it when Nick goes after someone....

Nick is a guinea after my own heart. When he gets his balls twisted about someone he is like a dog with a bone.

Which is very much like a butcher with a boner. Who beats his meat thinking like a fan boy.

I went to that thread quickly when youse guys started discussing it and caught that subtle "Valise" shot from the Grand Poobah of the ASS society. Nice.

Things don't change at TOP. They just get more boring. Glad to see I am not missing anything interesting.

I just want to point out.....

It's not my fault that Ann Curry is gonna get fired. I mean she didn't even do the segment with Lisa and Stacy.

We did get to meet her and she was very nice. But the whole Today show experience really sucked dead dogs (hey a theme).

The Wendy Williams show was a million times better. They were totally prepared and much more professional than the Today show. There was really no comparison.

More about the two shows when I have a little more time.

Stay till the last dog dies......

Is an expression that I often use.

I have to stay sending out packages till the last dog dies. I would love to post some new threads but I am just too busy sending out clothes and dealing with all the problems.

We are crazy busy trying to get things done and not catching up at all.

I have a lot of ideas in my head for new stories and they will be up soon.

Don't stop stopping by just because I am swamped. Just sayn'

There's more to the picture than meets the eye....

Yes my pretty....fat people!

"Let's mock them. Laugh at them. Talk about them."
"Uggga bugga ugga!"
"That's right my pretty. What can they do? The Great Oz is silent. He can not stop me. He never comes here anymore and he can not protect the chubbies!"
"Ugga bugga ugga buggga hee hee!'
"Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!"

Why is he posting this picture?

Especially after not posting anything for so long.

I will let you geniuses figure it out.

I have too many fuckin' cookies to make!

Sorry that I have been missing in action but the tidal wave of orders we got because of the show is keeping me working day and night.

We stayed to five in the morning yesterday just boxing up orders.

I need to talk to or be in contact with almost everyone who buys or posts on our facebook or twitters or whatever because this is what we are getting for having a TV show. So I have to do it while the window is there.

Of course people are pissed at me. Marilyn Munster mailed me a dead bat. The Devil can't believe I am dissing him with Rodney King today. And Laura Bush has two new diaries that she can't wait to post. But it all has to wait.

Tomorrow Lisa is appearing on ABC radio and doing a couple of interviews so we have to do what we can to pump it up before the final two episodes.

I will be back soon.

the Glamorous Life

Comfortably Numb

FFFRRREEEEEEEEE BBBBBIIIIIRRRRRDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes we cry!

Days Like This

HOW U DOOOOOIIINNNGGGG!!!!

So Lisa is going to appear on the Wendy Williams Show tomorrow Tuesday June 12th at 10pm. She is doing two makeovers of studio audience members.

What they might not say is that they won a contest and came to the store last week to be fitted for clothes. There was a bit of an issue with payment for the clothes but Wendy Williams and Lee Lee's are splitting it. I figure why not get the advertising and the goodwill.

The fucked up part is that TLC doesn't want us to talk about the time slot change. They don't want us to go off on them for doing what everyone does to plus size. You are the first one to get cut. The one they put in the basement. They don't want us to lead a torch and pitchfork wielding mob of villagers to burn down Frankensteins castle.

We can't alienate them too much. We still have a decent chance of being picked up. If not by these guys then by the people who will replace them. It all remains to be seen.

TerriW said...
 I saw on FB the store post about them screwing with your timeslot. Hope all is well. 

MamaM said... I saw on FB the store post about them screwing with your timeslot. Hope all is well. From what I'm reading, it sounds like they're switching it to an afternoon slot. If so, I'm not liking the change. It sounds like the show is being pigeon-holed for women watching afternoon TV, when the clientèle shown so far has been mostly working women. 

Yes they are changing our time slot to the afternoon. Not good for us.

What has happened is that "What Not To Wear" has imploded. They have the worst ratings they have ever had. Cancellation worthy ratings. So they are panicking. The entire TLC lineup has been destroyed. Every show is down severely in the ratings. Even the Cake Boss. So the executives are scrambling like crabs in a bucket. They have to save WNTW which is a flagship franchise for them. So they are slotting in two new "Cake Boss:"episodes at 7pm on Tuesday and sandwiching the new WNTW with two repeats. I don't think that is going to mean anything. WNTW is a spent force. It has been around for ten years and people have moved on.

The one thing I was counting on was that we had Stacy in our corner. I hoped we would have a chance to develop an audience. I figured they didn't want to screw with Stacy so they would not screw with us. But now that WNTW is in question they are not worried about pleasing her. If they don't turn it around then WNTW goes down the tubes. And Stacy will move on and be just fine.

We are not worried. We got a massive influx of sales and new customers. That is what I have been dealing with right now. BBC who produced the show doesn't want to turn in the towel. We did what we were supposed to do. As a new show we kept 2/3's of WNTW's audience. The goal was to keep at least half and grow from there. We did better than that. But if WNTW was a 2 rating and we were a 1 there would be no problem. But if WNTW is a .7 and we are a .4 then all bets are off.

We might do well in the afternoon.

The new executives who will come in will reevaluate everything. Another channel might be interesting. Our numbers would be great for Lifetime or Oxygen network. So they might come sniffing around. Lisa is a hot commodity in the TV world because she is a natural and they would love to build a show around her. It would be great if I was not on camera since I hated almost every moment of it. A show with Lisa doing the makeovers of one per episode would be so much better. We don't know what will happen yet. Nothing is written in stone. A million different things could happen. Stacy told us that they waited till the day before the option lapsed before renewing WNTW in her first season. Our option extends to a year after the last episode airs. So we have to see.

The main thing is that we made some strong episodes that still have to air. The last four are a lot better than the first four. Check them out and let me know what you think about it. It has been a wild and crazy ride.

And it ain't over yet. Not by a long shot.

"Talk Amongst Youse Selves"

I want to take AllenS's advice because I am busy working filling orders and answering emails and the phone and taking care of all the business we are getting from the show. So enjoy this cafe post. Think of it as a Dairy Queen post so to speak. Play nice and protect yourself at all times, don't hit after the bell, no low blows and have some fun.

Talent on loan from the Devil!

Sorry I haven't been around but so much shit has hit the fan that I can't keep up with it.


I do have good news though. They were so impressed by my visit to NPR that they decided to give me my own talk show. Not that they wanted conservative balance, they just want some fucking ratings.

So the "Ask Trooper York" segment will be on at noon on your local NPR station. Please tune in and call.

Big Brooklyn Style!

Well here is the place to talk about the two new episodes of "Big Brooklyn Style" that will be on tonight.

The website is fucked up again and we are going crazy but what can you do?

I hope you enjoy the shows!

You can be my cupcake!

We had a giant tree of cupcakes for the premiere party but I didn't have them distribute it at the end since I didn't have enough for everyone. So I just told people to go up and get them. What happened is that most of the people left without getting one so I have been eating cupcakes for a week!

The things you have to do when you star in a reality TV show!

IT'S CRAZY I TELLS YA!!!!!!!!!!!!

The website was down for a while because we had over 3 million hits in a 36 hour period. The web weasel said it would be no problem but he lied as usual. So we have been scrambling to get the site working.

It has been on and off and even with that problem I have an enormous amount of on-line orders and people coming in the store and calling us. I have a giant pile of UPS packages that I am processing. I was in the store till 3am yesterday and will be doing the same today to get everything out.

Lisa has been dealing with the site and I have been handling the store and the phone. They are happy to talk to Chumley so they are not too upset that they don't get to talk to the star. I haven't had much of a chance to do anything.

I mean I know that Hell needs a new PA announcer who will kiss everyone he is talking to so I will get to it soon.

Also I will put up a post about the shows that you will see this Tuesday. The first two will replay at 7:oopm and the new one will be on at 10pm.

Be back soon.

The Family

Here we are at the step and repeat where you take photo's. Me. Lisa. Stacy. Brianna our granddaughter and Melissa our daughter.

They all had a great time at the party.

You have to enjoy the ride. Just sayn'

Hey it was a great party...but now it is back to work!

The premiere party was off the hook. About a hundred people showed up when only about 70 confirmed. But when we throw a party everybody shows up and they bring their friends.

Luckily we accounted for that so everyone had a good time and enjoyed the show. We were monitoring the website and we had over a million hits. Of course it crashed.

The fucking web nerd said it was no problem that he had moved us to a new server which could accommodate the traffic. What he didn't know was that our original server wanted to fuck with us because we left so they set a trap. A million people could click in but if more than ten at a time ordered the whole fucking thing would blow up.

We were devastated. All of those hits and no sales!

We got back on line and the sales have been phenomenal. I can't keep up with them. The phone calls, texts and all around interest has been spectacular. So we have no complaints. I might sue the web company. Or at least sic a lawyer on them with a contingency fee. I hate to do it but I can't get fucked like that. I don't think I am going to get any money but at least I can make them shit a little.