Snookie and the Situation are packing for another vacation. When we were so busy in July and August with the show we booked a cruise for the whole family. And luckily paid for it. Hee.
We thought we would be fine because we had three employees and we would have coverage. Of course we had to get rid of two of them for stealing and now we are down to one. So we have to struggle to get another person to cover because we want two people in the store at all times. But it looks like we have it covered.
One night we were coming home from Enoteca and we had opened up the store to get our stuff out to bring home. We ran into one of Lisa's gays who told us he had just got laid off. Lisa has a bunch of gay guys who come by to say hello all the time because they love her and her style. Some of them are in the fashion biz and we buy fabric from them and what not. This guy works in the hotel biz and got laid off of his job. So I suggested we hire him to hang out in the store while we were away. He can be a presence hanging around and pick up a couple of bucks. The girls will feel more secure and it should work out fine.
I don't know if I will have internet on the cruise so I might be off the grid for a while. We are going down to Florida on Thursday so I will be posting until we get on the ship on Saturday morning. I will probably be very productive since I will be lazying around on Friday so who knows?
The cruise will be through Christmas and New Years and we will be back in New York on January 2nd.
We kept saying one line all winter. "We are on the ship."
Soon we really will be.
50 comments:
And with that Mr. and Mrs. Thurston Howell, III board the SS Minnow........
I will probably be very productive since I will be lazying around on Friday so who knows?
Watership Down would be in order.
Especially with all the dogs about.
I PINCHED MULTIPLE LOAFS TODAY AND AS A RESULT MY MEAT CURTAINS ARE RAW AND SENSITIVE.
I WIPED AND WIPED BUT NEVER FELT COMPLETELY SATISFIED THAT ALL LOAF REMNANTS WERE CLEARED.
DO ANY OF YOU EVER EXPERIENCE THAT?
IT'S TIME FOR A NATIONAL DISCUSSION.
DO ALL YOU LOOK AT THE TP AFTER YOU WIPE? I DO, I THINK I WAS TAUGHT THAT AS A LITTLE MO.
I BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT TO LOOKING AT THE TP IN ORDER TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED TO CONTINUE WIPING LOAF REMNANTS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FELLOW REPUBLICANS WHO ARE COMPLETELY DEVASTATED BY THE 2012 ELECTIONS.
Buy a warm water bidet. You will probably never get off of the can.
I PINCHED MULTIPLE LOAFS TODAY AND AS A RESULT MY MEAT CURTAINS ARE RAW AND SENSITIVE.
Just give us a heads up next time you feel irritable vowel syndrome coming on.
You know like Pads was talking about.
@Troop: Work on your tan when you're in FLA. With that hat and a hawaian shirt you could pass for Angel in "Dexter"
Anchors AWAY!!!!
Hey Titus, not to mince words, you're stuffing yourself. We all experience "THAT" when we're overeating. DBQ's buy a bidet suggestion beats excess wiping. Or you can just "self-bidet." I do. ;^)
Am I correct that this cruise is going to stretch to almost two weeks?! Decadent, man, decadent.
@ Trooper. So when you come back and find out that your employees are stealing from you....don't come crying to us.
jealous about your trip....sour grapes :-) Have a great time
Have a grand trip and take lots of pictures.
Just give us a heads up next time you feel irritable vowel syndrome coming on.
***INFLAMMATORY LOGORRHEA WARNING***
I JUST TOOK THE RARE CLUMBER OUT IN THE STREETS OF THE CITY AND HE COULDN'T PINC EITHER.
SO I BOUGHT OUT MY M 57 AND SPILLED SOME LEAD AND THAT BITCH CREAMED ALL OVER THE PLACE.
FUCK THOSE CAMBRIDGE GUN ADVOCATES.
THE DOG HAD A SHIT AND YOUR FUCKING LITTLE SPECIALS BABIES ARE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING FELLOW PUBES?
I AM SURE ALINSKY SAID SOME SHIT ABOUT THE PINCH LOAFING AND I AM SURE MAMA WIL ENLIGHTEN US ON THE CONNECTION.
I AM SURE MAMA WIL ENLIGHTEN US ON THE CONNECTION.
Is your Google FINGER sprained?
Too much BING on the Keyboard?
Excessive YAHOOOOOOING about dog shit?
Another LOOSE LOG headed down the FLUME?
Find your own ENLIGHTENMENT Titus. Tis the season.
Happy trails, bon voyage, and all that happy horse shit. You've earned it.
If you're cruising on the Achille Lauro make sure everyone knows your not Jews.
Bon Voyage
HI EVERYONE, HOW ARE YOU?
WORK WAS CRAZY TODAY YET VERY STRATEGIC.
I FLY TO WISCONSIN TOMORROW AND THEY ARE GETTING BURIED IN SNOW. MY MOM WOULD BE DEVA IF I COULDN'T GET OUT.
ONE YEAR I COULDN'T GET OUT TO WISCONSIN BECAUSE OF BAD WEATHER AND MY MOM COULDN'T EVEN EAT CHRISTMAS DINDIN WITH THE FAMILY-SHE CRIED IN HER ROOMS. MY SISTERS SAID SHE WOULD NEVER DO THAT IF THEY HAD TO MISS A FAMILY DINDIN...I SAID I KNOW...HEE HEE.
18 INCHES
POUNDING
THROBBING
SPLEWING
SPITTING
WREAKING HAVOC
SNOW.
The devotion of some mothers is weird beyond amazing. Maybe it goes back to remnants of guilt over their choice to withhold nature's nurture from young and needy, mewling and tit obsessed offspring, by offering a small and mean rubber nipple in place of the real deal.
Hopefully your doting mother will clasp you tightly to her breast tomorrow, Titus, and say, "Welcome HOME!"
SHE IS CRAZY ABOUT ME MAMAM, AND SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY SISTER'S WHO LIVE 10 MILES AWAY, ACTUALLY I THINK SHE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE THEM. MY SISTER'S ARE SELFISH AND DON'T INCLUDE MY MOM IN ANYTHING AND SHE RESENTS THEM FOR THAT. WHILE I CALL EVERY NIGHT AND TALK TO HER FOR AN HOUR AND SEND CARDS AND FLOWERS AND PERFUME AND WINE AND YOU FUCKING NAME IT.
I AM SO THE FAVE.
IN MY FATHER'S LATER YEARS I HAVE BECOME HIS DEFINITE FAVE TOO-HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY SIS'S.
I'M SPECIAL IN THEIR EYES.
ISN'T THAT SWEET?
I AM A GOOD SON THOUGH, VERY LOVING AND DOTING. IT'S THE FAG PART OF ME.
ALTHOUGH MY HUSBAND SAID I AM NOT EVEN A FAG TODAY-I DON'T LIKE TO "ENTERTAIN" OR ATTEND PARTIES AND I DON'T LIKE TO INTERIOR DESIGN.
I AM A DICHOTOMY.
HOW THEY HANGING MAMAM?
YOU WOULD EVEN LOVE ME MAMAM IF I WAS YOUR KID, EVEN THOUGH I WAS THE GAY KID.
I wonder if the dog thing has a trade component?
A Mother's Lament
Her eye never has enough of seeing,
nor her ear its fill of hearing.
What he has been he will be again,
what he has done will be done again;
but there is nothing new under the son.
MAMAM DID YOU VOTE FOR AN AMENDMENT AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE IN YOUR STATE?
Titus self-describes a prodigious son.
Titus, are you going to promise to go see Meadehouse and not show up like you did back in '08? Remember when you did that and PO'd Althouse? I wrote her a middle of the night comment back then to console her disappointment in you. This was actually the germ of my whole blogging my dad's letters thing later on the following year. So in a way, I should thank you for that too, Titus.
Merry Christmas
I AM NOT MEETING THEM OR HER CHICK.
I THOUGHT YOU KNEW ME BETTER.
I AM AN INSULAR PERSON WHO IS AFRAID OF MEETING NEW PEEPS.
INSTEAD, I WILL BE IN WAUNAKEE SHOVELING SNOW...IF I EVEN GET THERE. AND IF I ARRIVE I WILL BE HOME WITH MY PARENTS CHOPPING WOOD, GOING TO THE FARM AND TAKING THEM TO THE CASINO. MY ROLE THERE WILL BE TAKING THEM WHEREVER THEY WANT TO GO. IT'S NOT ABOUT ME AND LEAVING THEM AND MEETING OTHERS.
I AM COMMITTED AND COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY DEVOTED.
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
YOU WOULD EVEN LOVE ME MAMAM IF I WAS YOUR KID, EVEN THOUGH I WAS THE GAY KID.
If I can find admirable qualities in an odd duck like rhhardin, I might be able to spare a drop of the milk of human kindness for you, Titus. If not that, at least a bowl of water, some kibbles and a scratch.
Believe it or not, I tend to serve as a magnet for lost and stray animals. Although most of the cats who've shown up at my door have turned out to be ownerless (and hung around to become favorite pets), the stray dogs (6 so far) who've dropped by for a visit after going walkabout, have all experienced happy returns to their searching owners.
Several years ago, when our own Good Dog was still alive, I heard him barking at something outdoors. To check things out, I'd turned on the flood lights and looked out the window only to be surprised to see a Border Collie sitting stock still in the middle of our snowy front yard, looking back at us. The dog stray dog remained in that spot and didn't move while I put on my coat and boots, and he stayed quietly seated as I walked out to him, cautiously introduced myself, reached for his collar and attached a leash. Walking back to the garage together, he heeled without directive and stood looking expectantly at me while I read his tags and called the relieved owners. After four hours of driving around their own neighborhood in the dark, calling and looking for their missing dog, they'd just returned home, unsure of what more they could do other than wait for morning. Apparently, they'd discovered an opened door and no dog when they'd returned home from work and had pieced together the fact that the guy who'd been over painting earlier that day hadn't latch the door tightly when he'd left and the dog had proceeded to let himself out. Although I no longer recall his name, I remember it was two days before Christmas when another Good Dog traversed five miles of busy streets and holiday traffic before parking himself in the front yard of the one who'd help him get back home.
I like this story, Titus. It's not only a good memory, it represents part of who I am and the kind of mystery, mutual trust, connection and goodness I enjoy..
If it amuses you to keep pulling the Eight and One Half Inch Alinsky by implying I'm someone who doesn't know, like or respect gays while you continue to lampoon gay interests and homosexual behavior, suit yourself. This is after all, "a things are not as they seem kind of place".
For MamaM.
@ Titus and all of us who are parents and grandparentsCalling my children home
Amazing the difference between mothers. Titus says his mother cried when he couldn't or didn't make it home for Christmas. And I believe him. My mother was a true philosopher. By that I mean that she didn't have to work herself into the neutral stance, she was there, naturally. I can't remember her ever having an emotional moment. Well, I take that back. Over little things, like finding it impossible to find a high fashion dress that fit just right, that could bring her to tears. But all the standard emotional stuff? Nothing. Here are two things my parents said that I remember:
Dad: Life's a cheat.
Mom: When people cry they're always crying for themselves.
Not sure I agree with that second statement, but it's worth pondering.
MY FLIGHT WAS CANCELLED-EVERY FLIGHT INTO MADISON WAS CANCELLED TODAY. THE CITY IS GETTING A MAJOR BLIZZARD-18 INCHES....OF SNOW.
EVERYTHING WAS BOOKED FOR TOMORROW.
SO I AM HEADING OUT SATURDAY-THROUGH MINNEAPOLIS AND THEN MILWAUKEE AND THEN BADGER BUS TO MADISON.
OK, MAMAM, I WAS JUST BUSTING YOUR CHOPS....TITS.
Hi friends. I've stopped by to thank you and wish you well. Mayan end of the world coming up pretty quickly now.
Which network is carrying the "Rockin' Mayan End Of The World Starring Ryan Secrest" program from Times Square? I want to watch the ball drop.
MAMAM I MEANT HUGS! NOT TITS.
AND PAPAPP IS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.
YOU ARE SMART.
TITS.
JUST DON'T VOTE AGAINST THE FAGS MAMAM.
THANKS.
Thanks Titus! Your Badger Bus made me laugh. An all-around fitting, not quite fab but possibly festive way to go, depending on who shares the ride.
As a new series, "TITUS RRRIDES THE BADGER BUS!!! has potential.
The snow coming over from Wisconsin hasn't happened here yet, but there's an icy rain falling and the roads have been filled with less than festive drivers. The Seasonal Section at WallyWorld, where I went looking for wrapping paper and tape yesterday, had already been cleared of Christmas Crap with January storage bin specials being loaded onto the emptied shelves. The SonM in retail says customer CIP (Cash in Pocket)is gone and the season all but over.
DBQ, I appreciated your link to the the EmmyLou song, feeling her voice and words resonate in my heart. Her song, along with the Pomplamoose song windbag linked to (Always in the Season) felt like musical presents, turning up when I needed them. The rest of the stuff is still arriving via the Fed EX and UPS sleighs.
Today, I've been playing the Celtic Women, Home for Christmas Vol 2 CD, brought home by the traveling M. Good listening, for the end of the world and/or the start of the Christmas weekend.
WORLD DOESN'T END! BIG MARKDOWNS ON MAYAN CHOCHKIES!!
For those of you that don't frequent TOP, I'll repost this......while we still have electricity :-)
"13 inches of snow, at least, this morning and still snowing heavily. We expect this to last through Sunday. Avalanche warnings in the mountains above us. The freeways are shut down for now but may open up for vehicles with 4x4 or chains but not to truck traffic. That's gonna hurt the truckers and obviously no food deliveries to the stores until next week sometime.
I'm surprised that we still have power today, since the power was flickering on and off at 3am making my surge protectors and power back ups squawk.
So....just in case I'm doing all the laundry I can...while I can, loading up the dishwasher, getting the oil lamps and candles handy, grinding several days of coffee beans to use in the vintage, Pyrex perk coffee pot.
Hubby is still going to keep his coffee date with the guys at the local coffee shop. Must keep up on the gossip you know. He is warming up the tractor now to plow the driveway.
I love snow days :-) Time to make some fudge and lemon cookies and get the book that I'm reading so I can watch the snow and the birds eating the cracked corn that we throw out for them."
Happy end of the World everyone. We went grocery shopping yesterday and bought a small prime rib roast for the occasion.
When DP gets back from gossiping....I mean coffee, he will take the tractor and plow out the neighbor's drive ways and open them up to the road. One of our neighbors is quite elderly and cannot do for himself.
If we can....weather permitting, we plan to go to the local watering hole and have a few drinks with friends this early evening.
DBQ - that sounds like a perfectly idyllic way to pass a snowy few days (especially the things you didn't tell us about. Wink wink nudge nudge.)
I think I might stake out the Badger Bus terminal tomorrow. Titus may be difficult to spot, however. Any leads?
With a twinkle in place of a wink, I submit she may have already dropped the hint. There are few activities more manly than "...warming up the tractor and getting ready to plow...", with sawing logs as one of them. Riding the Badger Bus home does not make the list.
Pretty sure staking out the bus terminal looking for someone buff and fab on the Saturday before Christmas doesn't make the list either, ND, but the thought made me laugh.
MamaM, I would NEVER do that as you intuitively know. The irony is I am one of the least nosey people on this planet. That is unless I am paid to be nosey..then I'm a motherfucker.
I WAS WONDERING IF THE BADGER BUS STOP HAD SOME JERKY JERKY ACTION IN THE TEA ROOMS SO OF COURSE I RESEARCHED IT-THE WEBSITE SAYS THIS TEA ROOM IS AYOR-AT YOUR OWN RISK-FORGET IT, THAT MEANS FUZZ EVERYWHERE AND I DON'T NEED MY PARENTS PICKING ME UP IN THE JOINT DURING CHRISTMAS.
ALSO, WHILE AT HOME WITH PARENTS NO JERKY JERKY GOES ON-I AM FOCUSED ON A LASER ON THEM.
ONE YEAR I WENT OUT IN CHICAGO WHILE VISITING MADISON DURING CHRISTMAS. I MET A HOT GUY AND HAD A DATE WITH HIM TWO DAYS LATER. WE COULDN'T DO IT THE NIGHT I MET HIM BECAUSE THE NIGHT WAS YOUNG AND I WANTED TO SEE HOW MANY MORE GUYS WANTED ME-I WAS STAYING WITH A FRIEND TOO AND I DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH DIRECTIONS TO AND FROM THIS GUYS HOUSE AND HE LIVED IN ROGERS PARK AND I WASN'T UP FOR THE LONG CAB RIDE-IT WOULD OF BEEN SO MUCH EASIER JUST DOING IT IN SOME ALLEY BUT I WAS ONTO THE NEXT GUY WHO WAS WANTING ME. SO I DROVE 4 HOURS TO CHICAGO DID HIM AND THEN DROVE BACK TO MADISON 4 HOURS. I GOT HOME AT 7 IN THE MORNING-MY MOM WAS DEVA. I WAS YOUNG THOUGH AND HAVE SINCE LEARNED MY LESSON.
TITS
THIS TEA ROOM IS AYOR-AT YOUR OWN RISK-
If some guy mutters
"TITS" to you,
Walk on by
Worse than fuzz,
He's a PRIVATE EYE!
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