Commenter Memories Number 113: Dust Bunny Queens learns how to get a hole in one

Or maybe two. But proably not.

Those dudes were gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But that is why she didn't want to go on that three hour cruise.

Nanny and the Professor

"Hello my dear. Why are you so sad?"
"I saw you and Daddy last night on the couch."
"You saw what dear?"
"You were on the couch and you both did not have any clothes on. And you had his thing in your mouth."
"Oh well I see.....well I can understand why you might misunderstand....err.....we were cleaning off the couch so we didn't want to wear any clothes....and I was errr....helping your father get clean as well.....so don't you worry dear."
"That's good. I thought you were praying."
"Why is that?"
"Well Daddy kept yelling ....Oh God...Oh God....I thought you were praying or something."
"Yes well religion had nothing to do with it dear. You will understand some day when you are a Real Housewive of Beverly Hills."
"I love you Nanny Figalilly!"
"I love you too dear."

The night the humor died!

Did you ever go to a place or have a friend who used to be fun but now is serious all the time. No laughs. No humor. No fun.

Just serious stuff 24/7. Politics. Death. Arguments.

Who would want to hang out with them. They bore the shit out of you.

I admit we yuk it up all the time here but we get serious every once in a while. But pretentious self-satisfied pomposity is enough to make you crazy. Or least flee and never talk to those people again.

Lighten up losers.

Green are your eyes

So many people have those little green eyes.

It's a shame really.

Keep your eyes on your paper.

Dean Martin presents The Rolling Stones

Goats Head Soup TV Commercial

It is magicly delicious.

Goat's Head Soup

What You Need:
1 goat head
1 pound pumpkin
1 pound carrots
1 chocho
6 green bananas
1 pound yellow yam
12 small dumplings
1 chopped onion
Herbs, salt, pepper and a small piece of crushed ginger root.
3 quarts Water

How To Cook:


1. Prepare and clean goat's head. Put to boil in a large soup pot with water. Skim.


2. When meat is tender, remove bones and put flesh back into liquid. Keep boiling.


3. Prepare and add the vegetables, seasoning and peppers.


4. Soup must be of thick consistency.


5. Make sure the radio is tuned to classic rock.

By their hair we shall know them!

When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne.

Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left.

It is amazing to me how the gospel is always relevant to what happens to you that day.

Goat.

True Stories of the Jersey Shore

Hey you never know when a Guns and Roses concert is going to break out.

Well it sure ain't Californication!

chickenlittle said...
BTW, she's not inviting axilism if that's what you were thinking.

Whose the prevert now?
ricpic said...
She's got that crazed look. Always a good indicator of liveliness in the sack.

What's axilism?
Sixty Grit said...
ricpic, I would say that Google is your friend, but having looked it up, all I can say is there are some things one cannot unread, once read.

Trooper York said...
Isn't axilism where you want to have sex with Axl Rose?

Remembrance of things Pabst

You know how I tell you there are two kinds of joints in Carroll Gardens. The yuppie scum/hipster dofous joints where the decor and the scene are what is important and the neighborhood joints that give you a full meal with a fair price without the frills. I love the neighborhood joints and that is where I always want to go. But there is always an exception that proves the rule.

On our daily walks along the waterfront we have been checking out all of these joints on Columbia and Van Brunt Streets. Normally we don't get down there but now that we pass them we are intrigued. And the one that we really, really wanted to try was called Casa Di Campagna on Kane St. They always had a special board outside with a great lunch menu and the choices looked great. So when we walked by there on Friday we saw that they had a special of pasta with peas and bacon. So we said we had to go and check it out.

We planned to go for lunch but as usual we didn't get there till about two or three hours later. Our good friends and frequent dining companions Chuck and Amy came with us and we got there right around five o'clock. Which is always problematic because they are just getting ready and they might not have everything on line yet. But I thought since it was an old school place it would be ok. You see we had passed it in the early evening a few times and we had seen several neighborhood knucklehead guys in there so we figured it had to be good. Right? Wrong.

The head waiter or manager or whatever he was greeted us and we went to sit in the back. The ambiance is great with a wood burning stove and paneling all over the place. It reminded me of a log cabin we would go camping in up in Alpine or Pouch or Ten Mile River or something. But the food was no where as good as the stuff we used to whip up on a hike.

First off he was very invested in the specials. They were predominately seafood and of course we didn't order any as the wife is allergic and I don't really care for them. Even after we said we didn't want any he had to recite them. Fair enough. But when it came time to order he almost was insulted that we didn't order any specials. He goes "What you are not ordering any specials?" "Yes they are mostly seafood and we said we weren't going to order any."

Now it usually a good idea to order a special when you go in a restaurant as this is something they are invested in and want you to get. They had a lot of lobster and stuffed calamari which I bet were great but not what we wanted. Sometimes when you order other things that are on the menu you get stuff that is an afterthought and not properly prepared. This is what happened to us.

This joint had pizza and calzones and stuff so I decided to order rice balls and potato croquet's for an appetizer for the table. We also got a Caesar salad as well. Well they weren't prepared I guess because it took forever for the apps to come. I was watching carefully as I always do and I saw one of the bus guys come up from the cellar with the ingredients to make the potatoes and the rice balls. So at least they were fresh since they had to scramble to make them. But it took forever. You would think that they would be prepared on a Friday night. The rice balls and potatoes were fine. Nothing to write home about but perfectly adequate. But the salad didn't come out with the apps they way we ordered. The new waiter or bus guy or whatever who took over in the middle of the meal was confused when we asked him about the salad. Since he didn't take the order that was understandable so waddayagonna do. When I asked for the salad he went to talk to the manager guy who started yelling at him in Italian. So he brings out the salad which was quite disappointing. Now I am not a big Caesar salad fan but those of us who are just didn't like it. It was watery and drab and not up to snuff. Another problem. Don't you hate to go to a place where there is always a problem?

I forget to mention that the wine was a problem. I ordered Chianti Reserva which is a staple in any Spaghetti joint in the neighborhood. It doesn't matter what the label might be it is usually adequate at the least or very tasty at the best. But of course they didn't have it. No Chianti in an Italian restaurant on a Friday Night? Not a good sign. The replacement was fine if a little bit more expensive but I didn't give a shit. It was nice enough that we ordered two bottles. But on the second bottle the manager did make a mistake which everyone pointed out to me after he left the table. He didn't let me taste the new bottle with a fresh glass before he started pouring it. That is a pet peeve of mine. It is an indication to me of a joint that is just not paying attention. The second or third or fourth bottle should be treated just like the first. If it is off you don't wanted it poured out into your glasses. You want to know that it is up to snuff. If they don't do that then they really don't know what they are doing. Or they are treating you with contempt. Which is always possible in a neighborhood joint where they don't know you. They think you are tourists and act accordingly. That might have been what was happening here. I don't know for sure.

Anyway we get the main course. Amy and Chuck enjoyed their chicken dishes but the wife and I were very disappointed in ours. The wife had the pasta and bacon in the garlic and oil. It was mushy and watery and pretty much devoid of bacon. I mean a Muslim could of had it and still got into paradise after he blew up a yeshiva and stuff. No bacon. No fun.

My risotto was a total mess. Very watery. I think the mushrooms had recently been in a can. It was a travesty. I swallowed it down as best I could but left half of it on the plate. I never leave half my dinner on the plate. It was really really bad. Just about the worst I have ever had. And I have eaten in an Olive Garden in Florida. Just sayn'

Now I know this diatribe sounds like what a typical yuppie scum guy would say when he complains about a restaurant. I know that. And I hate to do that. I normally don't. I let a lot of shit go in a neighborhood joint if they have a speciality or two that I like. But this was not really acceptable in any way shape or form. It was the exception that proves the rule. It was an old school place that was mired in the fifties when people were used to eating crap and liking it. Since there were several "connected" guys on the premise at the time I have to wonder if something else is going on. Maybe so maybe no. But it is hard to believe that they actually think everything is cool based on what we saw there this Friday. Plus when we left it was empty. On a Friday night about eight o'clock. Maybe they get a late crowd.

You might ask why I didn't complain or make a fuss about any of the stuff that happened. That's not my way. I always let the people show me what they got. It is much easier to get a read on a place that way. If you put them on their toes they might tighten it up a little but lax off on some important thing later on. They just lost us as customers. It's a shame really because when we find a joint we like than we hit it hard and eat there ten or twelve or twenty or more times a year. If the meal is $200 (as this one was) and we go ten times that is $2000 that they are throwing away without a care in the world. Plus the people I would send there if I like a joint. People are always asking me for a place to go to eat. So they made there meal and were happy with what they did. Which is fine by me. There are plenty of joints to hit. I don't like to make a fuss. But I like when you do things right. Then you get my loyalty and recommendations.

This is not a place you want to go to.

Even with an ugly outfit

I still am looking good.

Comon. Smell under my arm. I know you want to.

You pervert you.

Marilyn's Diary

My Aunt Lily had a very talented tongue. She should have because she was a vampire. She tried to teach me some tricks. She could take a cherry stem out of a drink and tie it into a knot using just her tongue. She was always doing party tricks. She said she inherited her talents from Grand Pa.

It was strange that with all her talent she couldn't hold on to Uncle Herman. But I guess his new wife Carol Herman had something that attracted him. I mean she was very loquacious. She was erudite.

And she liked to give a Rusty Trombone while Uncle Herman was smoking a joint.

It was the 1960's after all.

Hey waddaya lookin at bub!

"Yeah so he is Joe Dimaggio. He's my boyfriend. Wadddaya gonna do about it?"
"Wait a minute. I ain't your boyfriend. What kind of crazy bullshit is that?"
"Shad up Joe I will give you a dollar."
"Well allright then. Let's brew up some coffee."

Not that there's anything wrong with that

"Sometimes you just crave a deep fried fish taco!"

That's right ....I am going to throw the book at you.

"So you want to occupy Wall Street?"
"Damn you are stupid kid. Why don't you go out and get a job? Seriously. You are stopping all the people who have to go to work everyday and trying to make a living."
"Don't make me come out there. You won't like what happens."
"I might have to throw the book at you.'
"And it is a really heavy book."
"It's a compilation of Tim's good bye posts."
"It will crack your head."

What if Star Dates were like J Dates?

"Why thank you Mr. Checkov. What a nice gift for a first date. What is it?"
"It is a custom in my country. Since you are the most beautiful woman on this wessal I gift you with my shaved pubic hair. You can weave into a hat. It is very varm."
"Why I never got any such gift. I mean I got some from Gene Roddenbury but I had to spit them out one at a time. Thank you very much."
"You vare velcome my nubian princess."

What if Star Dates were like J Dates?

"What an ordeal this mission turned out to be. Right Boner?"
"That's Bones not Boner. How many times do I have to tell you. I hate my job."
"Well you don't have to stay as the ships doctor. Did you ever do anything else besides pratice medicine?"
"Well I used to be an assistant coach at Penn State."
"Oh that explains it."

Frenchy Fuqua's Shoe Blog

Yo baby how you be!

I knows I haven't been around lately because I was real busy until lately. You see I was working for my man Franco Harris at the Meadows Race Track and Casino. He would have me dress up like a jockey and meet all the high rollers. I mean it was kind of demeaning all but it paid real good. But now the dumbfuck got us fired because he was sticking up for those kid touchers over at Penn State. Now he should have known that if you had played for the Steelers you has to be careful about sex and shit. I mean everybody knows that the Steelers are all sexual deviants. Art Rooney was famous for getting golden showers from Ethel Merman back in the day. Rocky Blier was once arrested for trying to get it in Brooke Shields when she was a kid on the Bob Hope Vietnam special. And the current quarterback invented date rape. Or at least he perfected it.

How about those dog ass Jets! J-E-T-S...JETS...JETS...JETS! They stunk it up against Denver Thrusday and Elway didn't even play. He must be hurt or something. Rex Ryan is just as big a douche as his father. Actually he is a bigger douche. At least size ways anyways. What a jerk.

My Giants lost a close one to the San Fransisco Cock Suckers last week. They should win this week against the Michael Vick Dead Dogs this week since Vick is not playing. It is the only sure thing coming up for them. Well except for the Jets and the Packers. We know they suck. So that is at least three more wins in the bag. They play the Cowboys twice so they have to set up Tony Romo with another broad like they did with Jessica Simpson. I wonder if that Teresa from New Jersey is avialable. She would do anything for money. Maybe they figure that out. Or hook Tony with Bon Jovi or something. Whatever it takes.

My Steelers have a bye so they can spend all of their time date raping coeds and stuff. Next week they have Kansas City and they have sucked ever since Ed Podolack quit. So they should round out great for the playoffs.

Maybe it can be my two old teams in the superbowl. The Steelers and the Giants. Now that would be great!

Well that's that and now I can kick back with some Hennesy and cola with my lady and catch some college games. I will be back to go over the Thanksgiving games.

Cause I don't want to lose this job too! Be cool blood!

The only person who hates small business more than OWS is Nanny Bloomberg!

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Edutcher is talking out of his ass!

edutcher said...
Next to "The Big Country", (The Searcher's is) the worst we-painted-ourselves-into-a-corner-and-we-have-to-come-up-with-a-really-stupid-unbelievable-resolution-so-the-picture-will-make-money ending in the history of movies.The logical ending would have to have been have The Duke try to kill Natalie and Jeff Hunter has to shoot it out with him - and almost certainly kill him. But we couldn't do that.

You obviously missed the point pilgrim. Ethan Edwards always loved his sister-in-law. She was the girl he left behind when he went off to fight in the Civil war. He looks at her children as his children. He could never speak of his love for her....it drips off of every part of their brief scene together. His devotion to her can only be redeemed by saving the one daughter she has left. So he goes on a ten year Odyssey to rescue her. But he is fully a man of his times. Ford doesn't sugar coat it. He is a racist bullheaded hot head who would rather kill Debbie than see her polluted by becoming Scar's concubine. In that final moment when he holds Debbie in his arms he sees the woman that he had lost forever. In that moment where he forgives her and makes his peace with her he is fully redeemed. The easy ending would be as you describe. But Ford would not copy Hawk's plot in "Red River." He is not about to have Ethan's surrogate son shoot him in a final confrontation. He chose a different path. Ethan Edwards still had the capacity to love. To remember. To redeem his life and his search.

That is what makes "The Searchers" an epic masterpiece.

Natalie you are so beautiful

But you know me.

I am a sucka for a full bodied brunette. Just sayn'

The Searchers. Behind the Cameras: Meet Natalie Wood

More "Searchers." One of my top ten movies of all time.

Wasn't Natalie just a doll?

Plus look it's Gig Young for all you fanooks out there. Enjoy.

The Duke is gonna kick your ass you scum bag!

"The Duke always loved me. I was like a daughter to him. He is gonna beat the shit out of you if he sees you. You better hope you end up in the firey pit of Hell."

Oh and by the way I have been banging Steve McQueen!

"That's right RJ you loser. I have been fucking Steve McQueen up here in Heaven all this time. We ride his motorcylce and drink beer and fuck like minx. Sometimes we hang out with George Steinbrenner and Marilyn Monroe and have a fuckin orgy. You know what you got to look forward to? A chance to be Hell's PA Announcer. You douche."

I love my swim suit!

"I wear them all the time."

"I just wish I had learned to swim."

Surprise RJ!

"Surprise RJ!"

"Peek a boo you bastard!"

"I'mmmmmmm back!"

"You are gonna be on Nancy Grace every night for the next year."

"You are gonna have to look at Greta Van Susterns ugly monkey face every night!"

"Your life is gonna be a living hell you scum bag."

Watch your back Robert.

They announced that they reopened the downing case of Natalie Wood. You know where her husband Robert Wagner conked her on the head and threw her overboard. There is a trend of reopening of cold cases after twenty years is a strange thing.

Maybe they should reopen the OJ case. I think it was Kim Kardashian.

But then I blame her for everything.

"I feel pretty"

Pretty dead.

Robert Wagner better watch his ass.

They are reopening the case.

But you might want to be governor or open a pizza store someday?

"Hey watch it Buster. You might want to be governor or open a pizza store someday."
"Yah but you pump me up!'
"I didn't pump anything you addled austrian. You brain must have shrunk as much as your testicles. And one more thing."
"Ya my little linzer torte?"
"Stop staring at my tits!"

Bet your didn't know......

That Rocky tried out for the Village People.

But they didn't want her.

They must of been gay or something.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

You just can't be on the fence about Rocky!

Even the bannisters get a hard on. Just sayn'

What the fuck do you know?

Some of us who were around back then worship Racquel Welch

Fred4Pres said...
Wow. That is a great picture. Some might take offense at the semi religious nature of it, but I would suggest re-read Song of Songs.

Oh I don't know. I can come up with a lot more offensive photos.

But you just gotta love her!

In which I answer two comments with the same photo!

Who doesn't love Rocky?

And the little baby Jesus who gave her two talents.

She made the most of them just like in Sunday's gospel. Just sayn'

Do you know who I am?

"No I am afraid I don't know you are dear."
"I am Doctor Richard Kimble. I was falsely accused of killing my wife. Now I am on the run. I am a fugitive."
"That's nice dear. I will still rent you a room. But I have a few rules."
"Ok what are they?"
"No woman in your room. You can't get drunk. Or smoke those funny cigarettes. Oh and one more thing."
"Yes?"
"Stop staring at my tits!"

Commenter Memories Number 112 Crack Emcees parents meet at school

The Crack Emcee just emailed this photo of his parents on the first day they met.

I don't understand why he isn't President. Just sayn'

Commenter Memories number 111 TItus's Senior Prom

He was confused as a young lad. But he had to start somewhere.

That's what they call hob nobbing in Wisconsin.

Nanny and the Professor

"Look Nanny Figalily it looks like your cock got bigger."
"Yes dear. That will always happen if you rub it dear."
"Always Nanny?"
"Well almost always dear. Unless he is Irish."

Nanny and the Professor

"Nanny Figalily where are you."
"I am in the kitchen Prudence playing with a cock."
"WHAT!"
"Come on in and I will let you play with him too. You will remember this in forty years when you on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."

What? You had Winnie Cooper?

"Hey Kevin long time no see."
"How are you Paul? I haven't seen you in years. What's up?"
"I just got myself a Minie Cooper."
"WHAT? YOU GOT WINNIE COOPER?"
"Yeah it is a sweet ride. A little small. It is a tight fit. But a sweet ride."
"A TIGHT FIT! WHAT THE FUCK! OF COURSE SHE IS A TIGHT FIT!"
"What are you screaming out?"
"You just told me you banged Winnie Cooper."
"No stupid. I just bought a Mini Cooper. You know that little limey car."
"I gotta get my fuckin ears checked."

Whose dat girl!

Famous as a singer and songwriter now she is famous as a hater of moose. Now it is not Sarah Palin just so you know.

I wonder who picks out her clothes?

Whose dat girl?

Announcing a New Blog!

So I am starting a new blog. "James Joseph Kelly #1 FDNY Retired"

It will dedicated to the memoirs of my father-in-law who was a fireman from 1960 to 1980 in NYC.

At every family gathering he would tell us stories of his adventures and the things they used to do so we decided to tape him telling the stories and I transcribe them into blog posts.

He was in a lot of crazy places. The fire on the Air Craft Carrier "The Constellation" that burned in the Harbor (pictured above). The plane crash on Sterling Place in Park Slope. His company was in Brownsville during the riots in the 1960's. Lots of war stories with blood, gore, fire and comedy.

It will be a lot of fun. We did the first taping today.

I will keep you up to date and give you a link.

Papelbon pinches a loaf!

Right on the stupid fuckin' Red Sox.

Now he is gonna be the Shitz for the Phillies.

Why is it that so many Red Sox players who are beloved stars seem to leave in Free Agency.

Roger Clemins. Wade Boggs. Johnny Damon. Now Papelbon. They leave in the prime of their careers when they have so much left to give. Maybe Red Sox nation is not all that it is cracked up to be.

You don't see Posada or Jeter or Mariano doing that.

The only exception was Petite. And of course he was a left hander.

By the way;

BOSTON SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" tonight!

You can see Kim Richards molest a french fry.

She puts it in her mouth all episode. You have to see it to believe it!

Everybody is an expert!

Everybody is an expert about everything! Especially on the Internets.

I don't know much about child molester's other than I would beat the shit out of one if I came across them. I couldn't identify one of them for sure. I can only think of two instances where I had an experience with them. Wait maybe four times.

Once when I was planting tulip bulbs in my Mom's front garden there were a bunch of the kids on the block playing stickball with a couple of their Dads. They were about ten or eleven or so. Anyway this dude stops in front of my areagate and is checking them out as they were playing. He was dressed roughly and looked seedy if you know what I mean. And he had no business staring at those kids from down the block. I watched him for a while as I was working and decided I had to do something. I got up and went over to him.

I said "Dude if you know what is good for you ...you will get off this block and stop staring at those kids." "You can't tell me what to do. This is a free country and I can stand here if I want too!" "That might be asshole but if one of those fathers catches you they are going to beat the living shit out of you. Especially that guy in the sanitation workers shirt. So why don't you move along while you still got teeth dickweed or I might take it personal myself." So he did. You can't protect the world but you can protect your block. I don't know if he was a kid toucher but I just got a real bad vibe you know?

Another time there was this very elderly couple who I used to do taxes for. The guy was in a wheelchair and the wife was off her rocker. I would go to the house to pick up the papers every year. I knew their sons from the Boy Scouts. Now there is always a lot of jokes about the Boy Scouts but Troop 265 from St Stevens was a different kind of joint. It was run by old WW2 vets who wanted to recapture the vibe of when they were in the service. Guys stayed involved for many decades after they grew up. We still have reunions and camping trips. I haven't gone camping in a long time but at the last reunion somebody told me a story. It seems that one of the sons of this couple took this other guy aside who was a cop. He told him that his father had molested him when he was a kid and that was why his life was so fucked up. The cop guy didn't know what to say. The statue had run...the guy was in a wheelchair....waddayagonnado. He just made sure he locked up his piece so the guy wouldn't eat his gun that night. Then it made sense to me. You see the last time I went over to do the taxes the old man was sitting in his wheelchair and he had is piscadeal out. I said "Hey Buddy you have an accident going on there." He got all flustered and zipped up. I just chalked it up to him being old and crazy instead of being a predator and a molester. He died soon after and the old lady went in a home and the kids sold the house. To a shelter for battered women. Funny how things work out.

Finally when I was in the eight grade there was still a lot of nuns teaching in my grammar school. I was very tall for my age and the nuns always had me do stuff after school. The three tallest kids would have to carry books and clean the black boards and do all this stuff. This one nun was a little strange. She always had me do things. And she was always touching me. Straightening my tie. Tucking in my shirt. Smoothing the fit of my maroon blazer. She was a young girl. Barely twenty one as I remember. I think she wasn't a full nun at the time. I think they called them novies. Student teachers. Irish. And I was the only kid with a Irish name in my class. Everyone elses name ended in a vowel. I don't know what was going on. She was a nun for crying out loud. She left the nuns the next year. I heard she joined a commune or something. I don't know if that is true. I can't tell you if it was innocent or not. I just don't know.

The older I get the less I know.

I am not an expert on everything. Not like everyone else on the Internets.

Mr. Eddie kuài jì se.......I think they are dead!

So in 1976 I was in college but still working full time doing accounting. I took a lot of night classes at Pace and would go out to clients early in the morning. That was back in the days when I still could get up early in the morning.

We had this Chinese Restaurant client called Szechuan D'Or that was owned by this very nice couple named James and Nancy Tseng. I had been there a few times with Mr. Eddie Kuai ji se to do the taxes. It was on 40th Street off first Avenue just steps away from the FDR. I had only gone there a few times but then something happened.

The owners were murdered.

They were both shot in the restaurant and left to bleed out on the floor surrounded by bags of fortune cookies and the cardboard cartons they used to send out take out. The rumor was that it was the "Ghost Shadows" which was the big Chinese gang at the time. They were going around extorting Chinese restaurants and businesses at the time. They were an off shoot of one of the tongs. The cops thought that the Tseng's didn't pay off and that's why they were murdered.

What was funny was that someone else took over the next week and they didn't miss a beat. Was this guy part of the gang? He was an older guy and had something to do with the tong I think. I know that all the cooks and waiters were scared shitless of him. He was always very nice to me. He was the first one to get me to try pork fried dumplings. I was scared not to try them when he put a plate in front of me. I will always thank him for that.

We never got the full story. The reason why this happened had something to do with the building. The Tseng's owned it and some big developer wanted the air rights or something or to buy it outright. We did the taxes there for another six years or so and then our firm changed and stuff and I lost track of what happened with it since I was no longer involved.

But for a couple of years when the door opened and a couple of young Chinese dudes in leather jackets would walk in the door.....well lets just say.....the sphincter muscles loosened a little....and that was even before I ate anything!

I will bop you in the kisser.

Some recent comments in another thread about Nd and Shouting Thomas's fight:

ndspinelli said...
Trooper, I know you're a good man and I trust you implicitly. But, like I said, at least right now, I'll have to take your word on Shouting Thomas. I have offered an olive branch to the dude..but it has been ignored. I now do not engage him because I saw just how tedious it is for myself and others. He just keeps coming @ me. Trooper..he thinks I'm J for chrissake. How do you deal w/ that?

ndspinelli said...
Ritmo, I appreciate your post. Getting history and perspective helps me understand. Your problems w/ ST are similar to mine. But, as I've said..I offered an olive branch and he just keeps coming @ me. I'm not engaging him and I'm even trying to avoid some topics that get him manic

Sockpuppets 'R' Us said...
ndspinelli, you accused someone you don't know of being a pedophile, simply because they disagreed with you in a blog discussion.
You made this baseless accusation against him repeatedly in a public forum.
And now you're here crying at Trooper's that you just don't understand why the guy you repeatedly accused of being a pedophile is mad at you.
You're a worthless, dishonest little shitstain excuse for a man.
(And Trooper, you're a fool for vouching for him.)

Sixty Grit said...
Yay! This place is becoming EBL Jr.!

Wow that is some series of posts.

Nd some people can't shrug off a punch as well as you and I can. We grew up talking smack and ranking each other out so we know the proper response to someone saying you are pedophile is to call them a dead dog fucker. Or to bop them in the kisser. I think Shouting gets his motor going and he doesn't have any breaks on the internet's.

I know how that works since I have some of the same tendencies. Look at the fight I had with Allie. I went from zero to sixty and we went back and forth very nastily. But Allie has the courage to reach out to me to try to find an accommodation and I really respect that. She made some really bad assumptions. I mean she even accused me of being Sixty Grit. Everybody knows I can't spell as good as him. And he lives in the country and I would eat my gun if I had to live in the boonies. So we can all make false assumptions. I didn't realize that Allie is ok for a fuckin' commie.

Sockpuppet said I was a fool to vouch for Shouting. Maybe so. But people said the same thing about Ritmo when I vouched for him as a decent guy. When he calmed down and took a step back he was able to find a way to talk to Shouting. They would never agree in a million years. But they can still shout across the divide. Even if it is just to yell "Fuck you loser." But they do it with a smile.

That is why this joint can never be the EBL's place. Because we tell each other to go fuck yourself. With of course all the hot bades of the sixties and seventies that I whacked my bag too! with a smile. We are not interested in the endless flame wars and smacking each other around for someone else's amusement. That's not what we do here.

We are about good food, fine wine and spirits, tasty cigars, full bodied woman and the acts we can cajole them into doing.

And of course all of the hot babes from the sixties and seventies that I wacked my bag to back in the day.

If you can't do that .....well....I will have to bop you in the kisser.

Where do you go to find Jewish People on Christmas?

ricpic said...

Every Chinese restaurant I've ever been in either had this horrible red lacquer look or had zero, I mean absolutely no interior decoration. And there's nothing about a Chinese restaurant's appearance that gives a clue to the quality of the food. But they all used to have those little black and white hexagonal tiled floors. That was nice. I guess it's a culture of you came for the food here's the food, no waste money for decoration on you, long nosed people.

For years, I mean years, my family went to the same Chinese restaurant on Pitkin Avenue. This was before "the great change." It was one of those 2nd floor joints, though I shouldn't call it a joint, by Chinese restaurant standards it was pretty ample. Anyhow, we'd always have the same meal: Won Ton soup; egg rolls; spare ribs; then for the main course both Moo Goo Gai Pan and Lobster (I can't remember what they called it, maybe Lobster Cantonese, but it was lobster in a gloppy white sauce; and dessert was always chocolate or vanilla ice cream. About a million Jewish families did the same and by doing so - it was practically a Sunday ritual - kept the wolf from the Chink door for decades.

Hey, I left out fortune cookies. Who could forget fortune cookies with their strange hint of oranges taste? God knows what those things were made of, closest thing to plastic in the food world

What ricpic is talking about is the big change over when Chinese Restuarants started serving Szehuan and Hunan style dishes instead of the straight Cantonese stuff that was traditional Chinese food. The restuarants are exactly as he described since they got all of their fixtures and supplies from the same place in Chinatown. They also got their provisions from the same places as I found out when I did the books for different joints all over the city. They are very insular and stick with their own kind for the most part.

Those old school dishes like chop suey, shrimp egg rolls and wonton soup are still around but I very seldom order them. Only one of the joints I used to do the taxes for stayed with the Cantonese food: Yee's Cafe on Ann St until they were attacked by a battalion of rats.

And you are so right about those fortune cookies. Man they taste like cardboard.

Mr. Eddie kuài jì se

Mr. Eddie was the king of chinese restaurants back in the 1970's. He had a bunch of them as clients. What would happen is that he got a couple and then the waiters or cooks would get together and open their own joint. Or take over the lease of somebody who failed in some spot.

When we walked in to work they would all run around and screech "Mr. Eddie kuài jì se" which means accountant in Chinese. We would come in between lunch and dinner. I worked with Eddie during the summer off from school. I would help him write up the general ledger and do the bank reconciliations and do the payroll cards. And we would always get a free lunch. All of the workers would sit at a big table and they would eat a meal family style. But it was always some disgusting stuff with fish heads or something. I choked it down a few times but I couldn't really take it. So the owners started taking pity on me and give me a plate of chop suey or some beef and broccoli. Sometimes I would get there before Eddie and do all the work and he would come later and check it. His wife had moved to Florida then so he had no reason to go home. So he would hang around and keep me late. So we would have dinner too. And I would always get some of that great Chinese beer. Tsingtao. They would always give to me for free. No matter how many I had. And since Eddie would want company it could be five or six beers. I can still taste them.

Later I took over the accounts and would do all the work for them. What we would do is help them get relatives into the country by writing letters to the Chinese Consul to help them to get into the country so they were always very grateful. So they wouldn't even wait for the owner to bring it out. When I would be out bouncing with my buddies we would pile in to eat. And guess what? They would always give us the beer for free! So of course they always wanted to eat there. But I didn't abuse it. I just loved my Tsingtao! So much so that when I would come in and the waiters would all scurry around and shout: "Tsingtao Mr. Jimmy" is here get the beers.

Mr. Eddie kuài jì se

My first boss in accounting was my Dad's old boss. My Dad worked as an auditor for Irving Trust but to make extra money he used to do tax returns for people in the neighborhood. There were no computers in the 1960's and '70's and the forms were a lot simpler. You could go to the bank and get all the forms and instructions you needed for free. Then you would do the returns by hand. One copy for the government and one for you to keep. There was no such thing as a copy machine. You might do it with carbon paper but if you made a mistake you had to start over. So you just re wrote it. It was safer.

Then one year about 1970 my Dad got an after work job with an Public Accountant in the City. He would go a couple of nights a week and on Saturday to do tax returns. The way they worked it was one guy would do the return and the other guy would check it for addition and accuracy. Then there was a break through. They got a copy machine!

It was a "wet paper" copier. You would do the returns on stencil paper which was transparent. Then you would line it up with some treated paper and run it through a solution like a photograph. It would be exposed to light and come out soggy and dripping. You would lay the pages out to dry and then collate them and staple them together to send to the government. The machine was called a Bruning Copyflex. A xerox machine was something that you found in Governor Rockefeller's office not in an accountants joint.

I was about 12 years old and my Dad brought me to work with him. I would run the stuff through the machine and collate it and stuff and make coffee and sharpen pencils. My Mom would make these great big sandwiches that everyone would eat. Sausage and peppers. Meatballs. Chicken cutlets. Eddie was a Reform Jew who ate everything. He loved ham and sausages. And he loved my Mom's cooking. He was a very personable guy and had a great way about him. I was just a punk kid but I did notice that he had a lot of women as his clients. They all hugged him and kissed him and were overly affectionate with him. What I didn't get then is that he was banging them. Maybe not all of them. But a goodly amount of them. It was pretty funny. They would show up decked to the nines in fur coats and diamonds and tons of make up. Who wears a fur coat to get their taxes done?

One of them in paticular fascinated me. She was a knockout. Looked very much like Christina Hendricks except that she was a brunette. Everyone salivated when she came in with her fur coat. Eddie would close the door and get her information. He had to be pretty creative. You see she didn't have any reciepts or records. Just bank deposit slips. It wasn't till years later that I figured it out. She was a hooker. A high class hooker.

Just like Elaine Mardell in the Scudder stories. A sexy Jewish girl who made her way in the world depending on the kindness of strangers.

It's funny how art imitates real life.

I wish I could back and talk to Eddie and his client. I bet there are some great stories there.

Mick Ballou looks at real life

One of the great characters in the Matthew Scudder books is Mick Ballou who is the crime boss of the West Side. Half Irish and Half French he is a frequent presence in the novels. He owns "Grogan's" a typical West Side Irish pub of the old school. Just like one of the ones I used to hang out in back in the day.

Hells Kitchen was one of the last bastions of the Irish in New York City. The Westies were the last remnant of the Irish gangs like the Dead Rabbits and the Hudson Dusters that went pack hundreds of years in the history of the City. The last real significant gangster was Owney Madden who left for Hot Springs in the 1930's. The Italians pushed them out. There were still gangsters but they were concentrated in places like the stage hand union and the Javitts convention center. There was a resurgence of the Irish in the 1970's and 1980's under the leadership of Jimmy Coonan who had a relationship with the Gambinos. His right hand man Mickey Featherstone eventually sold him out and all of those guys went to prison. They made a movie about it with Ed Harris and Sean Penn.

In 1978 I started working as a baby accountant. One of my accounts was Buddy's Auto Repair of 11th Avenue around 36th Street. Buddy was an old school Irishman and I am pretty sure he paid off the Westies. At least these tough looking hoods would come to whisper to him and they would walk around the corner. Buddy used to boil out radiators in taxicabs to find the leaks and then they would weld them shut. Taxicabs were pieces of junk back then. Held together with spit and bailing wire. Nowadays they have computers and credit card machines and tv's in the fuckin back seat and everything is mandated and regulated by the government.

Buddy had two black dudes working for him. Eddie and Jimmy Gourdine. Eddie was a Vietnam Vet and a stone junkie. He would work in the morning while he was feeling mellow but would need to fix in the afternoon and would nod out on a chair. One day I wanted to take a piss and opened the bathroom door and Eddie was nodded out on the toilet with a spike in his arm. Jimmie looked just like the dude in "The Shining" and sounded just like him. Jimmie used to bring his lunch everyday and always ate some sort of animal part. A bird or something but nothing like any chicken I ever saw. He would always heat it up and offer me some but I would never eat any. I ate some disgusting things in the Chinese restaurants but eating the wing or leg of an animal I couldn't identify was not gonna work for me. You see I noticed that whenever Jimmie would walk outside all the pigeons would fly away. It was weird.

Anyway after I wrote out all the taxes every once in a while we would go out for a drink in a local ginmill that was very much the same as "Grogan's" where we would line up a shot of Jamesons and a Reingold back. There were quite a few guys who looked like Mick Ballou or Andy Buckley or some of the other gangsters that Lawrence Block sketches so deftly in his books. They were into their own business and never bothered us. Of course Buddy was a fixture in the neighborhood and he paid his dues. And his protection. When I read the Scudder stories I am taken back to those days in the late '70's and early '80's. It was a different world. A different life.

The stories in "The Night and the Music" take me back to those times. It is like I am sitting next to Mick Ballou. And the craic is good. The music is on the juke box. The smokey flavor of the Jameson and the bracing rush of the ice cold beer.

I can just taste it.

For the Roses

Red Rose Red Rose
Which is a sweet scent to the nose
So soft and smooth
It makes my heart move

Red Rose Red Rose
Which makes a good pose
That I like to hold

Red Rose Red Rose
Which the wind blows
As each day goes

Red Rose Red Rose
Which grows and grows
It's my favorite kind
That it sooths the mind

Red Rose Red Rose
That it helps sooth my soul

Eve Anderson

(roses the wife got for her birthday)

You need to get "The Night and the Music"

If you have a kindle you need to go out and get Lawrence Blocks great collection of "Matthew Scudder" short stories entitled "The Night and the Music."

As I have said before Lawrence Block is the master of hard boiled detective fiction and his character Matthew Scudder is just about a perfect realization of a time and a place. I see so much of myself in him that it is fuckin' scary. His discussions of what it means to be a drinker and his descriptions of bouncing around the city is right on the mark. I have been there and done that back in the day.

These stories are a vital slice of life of the city and this collection is full of short but memorable vignettes of the drinkin' life.

Get this book. You will love it.

We salute our Vets!

Here is another great remembrance by Allie for Veterans Day.

Allie said...

Michael, what a touching and beautiful story, that in itself is a family heirloom. I do think they were the greatest generation, the honor flights and the stories coming out of these few remaining WW2 vets are amazing, yet they tell their stories without any claim to heroism.

My family spent WW2 in Europe, we came to America on the USS General Langfitt, a troop carrier. I took care of a great old gent back when I was still in nursing, I had a rare spare moment to sit and chat, he showed me his WW2 scrapbook, he turned to a page that contained a USS General Langfitt bulletin! He was on the Langfitt on his way to the Philippines in 1945. I then told him that was the same ship I came to America on as a three old old refugee. He died several months later, his family had left an envelope for me in the nursing office, in it was the bulletin! I cherish it and the short time I had to get to know that old Vet.

Oh no you didn't!

So last week on the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" there was another of the interminable arguments starring Nene Leakes. Nene is the main focus of the show as she is a tall intimidating woman who acts out like a crazy woman. Last season she got in a knock down drag out fight with Kim the wig wearing whore who had a black assistant that she abuses and who Nene called a slave. This season she sat down with Sheree to start the season and they got into it. It seems that Sheree got a call for a personal appearance but they wanted Nene too. So when Nene got in touch with the people she tried to cut Sheree out of the mix so she could get all the money. Nene tried her usual act by standing and looming over Sheree and pointing her finger at her and screaming . But Sheree didn't back down. And Nene ran away. Because she was scared. Because Sheree would cut a bitch. The scene ends with Nene scurrying away to get in her car and speeding away with Sheree following her out on to the street and cursing her out.

Nene's best line "I am Rich Baby! I cashed that Donald Trump check."

Sheree's best line: "If you so rich bitch why didn't you fix your motherfuckin' teeth!"

The point of most of these Housewive shows seems to be arguing and fighting. Every franchise revolves around some conflict. At first it was fascinating. But now it is kind of getting old. Everyone goes to defcon nine with every misunderstanding. If everything is earth shattering nothing is earth shattering. Atlanta looks like it is going to be the worst of them all this season. Why would you want to go to a place and hang out where other people are fighting and arguing and calling each other every name in the book. Once a week from the distance of your TV screen is tolerable. Barely.

I might have to reevaluate my viewing habits.

Two Brown Mugs

Once again the great Michael Haz puts Veterans Day in perspective:

Michael Haz said...
My favorite soldier? A sailor, actually. My old man.

He dropped out of twelfth grade to enlist in the Navy. Flew Stearman bi-planes for a short time, then went into combat training, and shipped to Guadalcanal. Saw heavy, heavy action.

Never once in his life complained about that, or anything else for that matter.

On leave before shipping out to Guadalcanal, he found out that his dad had stomach cancer. Not treatable.

Granddad bought a couple of brown mugs, and the two of them spent a week together, drinking home brewed beer in the kitchen from those mugs, fully knowing that either way, one or both of them would be dead soon. It was their last time together.

Dad reported to Great Lakes, then shipped to the South Pacific. While Dad was in fighting in the battle of Guadalcanal, Granddad died.

Grandma wrapped up those brown mugs and after the war was over and I was born, she gave them to Dad.

I hit a rough patch a few years back, and the docs needed to take my heart out, fix some stuff, then put it back in. The outcome was iffy.

The old man stopped in a few days before surgery and gave me those brown mugs. I never knew about them before then. We hoisted a few and talked late into a night.

I made it through. I've got the mugs now, wrapped up in linen cloth and safe in a cabinet. All to soon, I'm afraid, I'll need to unwrap them for a last beer with the old man. He's 87 now.

Then I'll pass them along to my son.


Happy Veterans Day and God bless you and your Dad.

Bet you didn't know.....

That sixties era Yankee Manager Ralph Houk went from being a private to major during his four years in military service.

He was at the Battle of the Bulge and the Remagen crossing. He was awarded the Bronze Star, Silver Star and Purple Heart.

And he still started Horace Clarke for four seasons at second base. He must of thought Yankee fans were Germans or something.