Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year!
Well we are off.
I don't know what we are going to do. There was some talk of some of the other shop owners all going to the wine and cheese place to usher in the New Year but I don't know if the snow didn't throw a monkey wrench into that.
It's too early to go there now (about 6pm) and once we get home we might be too comfortable to go out again.
Whatever.
Hey all of youse guys, no matter what you are doing, have a Happy, Prosperous and Healthy New Year.
God Bless You all and Have a Happy New Year!
One thing we can say, he's got big balls.
I made about fifty meatballs this Christmas. I mean I made about 10 lbs of beef, pork and veal all mixed together and if I was to make little ones I would still be doing it on News Years Day. So I made baseball sized ones and they out great. Everyone loved them.
The menu was:
Lasagna and meatballs.
Ravioli and meatballs.
Angel Hair Pasta and meatballs.
Meatball Parmesan hero's for lunch.
And of course, breakfast meatballs.
I just gotta the big balls!
It's a dogs life!
So a couple of years ago the kids adopted this abused dog from the animal shelter. It is some kind of Chinese something or other but it is what I call a frou-frou dog. You know not a real dog.
Sort of like a walking feather duster.
Anyway this puppy was totally scared of any man that would come into the house. She used to howl and bark and carry on and they had to shush her up and stop her caterwauling. Now I couldn't deal with that so I used my usual technique for making friends. I fed her.
I would give her a little piece of steak or some sausages or a bit of macaroni. I made a big pot of meatballs and gave her one every now and then. As a result the freaking dog was glued to me. I mean I couldn't sit down without it jumping in my lap. It sat on feet at the table. Not at my feet. On my feet. You see I am also a sloppy eater and the stray crumb might fall down and luckily I had a little canine vacuum cleaner to take care of it.
What was fun was when I took her out to the yard for a dump or a piss. You see there was a little patch in the back yard that she used. So I would walk out into the 70 degree weather in my shorts and t-shirt and we would both dance around and run in a circle because we were so happy to be in the warm weather. Then we would take a leak and come back inside and sit on the easy chair and have some wine and a snack.
That's the life.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Hey what are your plans for New Years Eve?
Paris is burning but only when he pees!
"Hey is this where they are having the New Year's Eve party? I hear it is a rockin New Years Eve with that little Mo, Ryan Seacrest."
"Yes you are in the right place Mr. Paris. The rest of the impossible mission team is here. Except for the black guy. He is in the kitchen. Is this Mrs. Paris."
"No this is my date, Barbara WaWa. Get her a double vodka martini. I hear she is a very talented flute player and I want her to tune up my instrument later."
"Yessir."
Flashback: Gratuitous Bathtub photo, what a pair, but one is bigger than the other.
It's all there in black and white.
"Why hello Trey. I haven't seen you in quite some time. Too busy for me?"
"No Selina. But it was the holidays and I had to spend time with my family."
"Well did you have to neglect your friends so? I mean not a word for weeks."
"I was very busy. But you seem to have made a new friend?"
"Who Doug? Yes he is a fellow patient here. We are putting together a skit to entertain everyone for News Year."
"Really, what kind of skit?"
"Why a magic act. You see I am going to make Doug's bird disappear. Would you like to try it. I could make your bird disappear. Don't worry. It will be in a warm moist place. It will slip right in. Your bird will feel great...Trey...Trey...Trey..."
"Hamana, hamana, hamana, uuuurrrrpppphhhhh!!!!"
"Yes well Happy New Year to you too Trey. My goodness you just turned blue like the blue moon tonight. Hee."
We will be all over TV this month!
What Not To Wear will feature us five out of twelve episodes in the new season starting at the end of January, including the seasons premiere. So we should get a good bump out of that.
We can only hope because the retail enviornment is really tough. The thing that saves us is that we are specialty store with a niche customer who can not get what we have anywhere else.
Today has been all girls who are cashing in their gift certificiates. Which is cool, they always spend more.
Labels:
Lee Lee's Valise,
Prosciutto Balls,
What Not to Wear
I'm back!
Hey we are back from Florida and open for business.
Of course a bunch of stuff got screwed up while we were away and I have to run around and fix it up. Two blubs out up in the ceiling track lighting, the cord for the light in the back room came off, nobody looked at the mail, dogs are peeing on the side of the building and nobody put out the cayene pepper. Oh and the Giants lost again and Eli and Jacobs are out for the rest of the season.
Same old, same old.
But I'm back. Hee.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Flashback: Gratuitous Bathtub photo crime scene edition.
I just find it hard to sit around.
Even though it was vacation time I find it very hard to just sit around. I am always doing something. What I mostly did this vacation was cook for my daughter and all of her friends and her Florida realtives.
I made a big pot of meatballs and sausages and then some pork and some tortilines in cream sauce with peas and fanook salad and caprese salad and regular salad and a whole bunch of stuff.
I just have to go-go-go.
That's why when somebody approachs me with a course of action, I just can't sit on my ass and let it lay. It drives the wife crazy.
Just so you know.
Labels:
cooking.,
florida sucks,
I have Ants in My Pants
Monday, December 28, 2009
Fun in the sun!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
How long to pitchers and catchers?
Man what a wipe out. The Giants got slaughtered and I couldn't even watch it as I was stuck here in Florida where they only had the Dolphins on and they stunk just as bad.
It looks like the dog ass Cowboys are going to be in the playoffs even though we beat them twice. There is no justice I tell you!
Anyway, congratulations to the winners and better luck next year for us losers.
Oh did I mention that the New York Yankees are World Series Champions?
Flashback: Florida Gratuitous Bath tub photo.
Hey I am stuck here in Florida for Christmas and the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Put the lotion in the basket!
I mean they are going to pass this rule where you can't get up for the last hour of the flight and my doctor told me I have to get up every half hour! What the hell am I going to do?
Anyway here is your Florida gratuitous bath tub photo.
As the Reverend Jesse Jackson once said, "I deny the allegations and demand to meet the Alligator."
Well there he is!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
See ya later.
Man that dude knows how to party.
Flashback: Gratuitous Bathtub photo date appropriate edition.
Life is not fair.
So last night we are watching this cool new show called "Men of a Certain Age."
It stars Ray Romano and Andre Braugher and Scott Bakula as three middle aged guys. So we are watching it and Andre Braugher looks paticularly pitiful as he displays his big gut and man boobs. In this episode he is selling cars and everyone is coming in to talk to him and they all ask for the "Fat Guy." It was funny to see how they were struggling to hike and even to get out of chairs. My wife turned to me and said "Wow those guys got really old." I said to her "You know what's sick shit?""No what?" "They are all three years younger than me. So don't make fun of me when I spring a leak sitting in my easy chair."
I guess I am at that certain age.
Crying Redskins!
Well at least we can bully one team! The Giants upped and opened a can of whoop ass on the lowly Skins last night on Monday Night football. I think we made them cry.
It is all going to come down to the tiebreakers. It is funny that we all have teams in the hunt. My Giants, Lawgiver's Cowboys, Michael H's Packers and Vikings are all in the mix. The Giants and the Vikings play the last game of the year which might be for a playoff spot. It would kind of suck if the Cowboys get in when the Giants beat them both times this year but what are going to do.
As that fuck Bill Parcels you to say "You are only as good as records. It only counts if you have the pelts on your pony."
I wish we could play losers like the Redskins and Cowboys every week. Hee.
Blood on the Tracks.
So I went to the vascular surgeon on Monday which is the only day he is around until New Year's. He gave me a full battery of tests. You know ultra sound and all the rest. Thank God that I don't any clots or phlebitis but the veins have kinda deteriorated. So I am going to schedule the surgery as soon as the insurance company approves it. If they do.
It seems that an operation to correct varicose veins can be deemed "Cosmetic Surgery" and Oxford (my insurance company) often refuses to pay for it. So we have to submit the paperwork and hope for the best.
Of course the gory crime scene photos I have like this one might help a little.
I want to thank my wife for being such a trooper. She hates it when I get sick. She can't handle it. I remember the first time I got sick with the flu and she didn't know what to do. She said to me "Get better. You can't be sick. I don't know what to do. I am not an Amelia Earhart!"
That's just not true. She was an Amelia Earhart. And a Florence Nightengale. But most of all she had to be Cinderalla to clean up all the blood on the floor.
"Baby, you're the greatest"
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Ride 'em Cowgirls!!!
Hey congratulations to the Dallas Cowgirls as they defeated Beth's New Orleans Ain'ts to break their undefeated streak. This is a good thing for New Orleans because the pressure to go undefeated can break a team like it did the Pats last year. So they have a chance to cruise into the playoffs.
Where of course they will lose to the New York Giants.
HOW ABOUT THEM COWGIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You pay you money and you take your choice even if they don't pay the money.
So it is really slow because of the big snowstorm we had yesterday. I mean it wasn't all that big a storm compared to what you get in nasty places like Wisconsin and Minnesota but for NYC it was pretty bad. And it had to fall on the last weekend before Christmas to mess up our shopping season. I mean the economy is soft enough without putting any impediments in the way to give people a reason not to shop.
After church I made the breakfast and then got to the store to see what is happening. The guy my landlord hired had already shoveled. Thank God because I am just not up to it. I slipped him a couple of extra bucks to redo it and put down a shitpot more salt so it won't be slippery. I have the store open and people are actually out because basally all of the sidewalks are clear. But there is one big problem.
You see we get a lot of lookie-loos. They come in because they are attracted by my wife's sensibility and sense of style. But then they realize that we start at size 10. Oftentimes they buy accessories and stuff because I feel we have the best jewelry and handbags on Court St. But with the snow they all track wet footprints all over the store. Now you don't care if they are going to buy something. But if they just walk in, make comments (some of them nasty) and then walk out it is enough to make you want to get really pissed. I have to follow them with the mop to clean up the water and salt they are dragging all over the floor. Cinderella's work is never done.
Oh well. There is one bright spot. Our company Christmas party was tonight at the wine and cheese but everybody is canceling on me. So I save on that one. You have to find the silver lining.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Laura Bush's Diary
So W and I were watching the TV last night and trying to relax. We were watching this new sing-a-long show with these teams of mo’s singing acappella . It is a rip off of American Idol but instead they had these barbershop quartet geeks and college idiots prancing around the stage singing rock and roll hits. It was very entertaining watching people try to do difficult stuff when they have no freaking idea of what the fuck they are doing. You know like Barry O that fucking schmo.
Anyhoo they break in with this news bulletin about Barry going to Copenhagen to deal with this climate change bullshit. I mean seriously. These fucking scientists don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. One year the planet is cooling off too much and the next it is global warming. That’s why W never paid any attention to that bullshit. It is all a scam by the chinks and dot heads so we would stop our industrial production why they pollute the shit out of the environment and make lots of scratch. And this maroon Barry is falling for it like Tiger Woods for a two dollar hooker. Jeeez what a mess.
Now I don’t deny that climate change can be a big problem. I mean when you go from hot to cold too quick it can fuck you up let me tell you. I will never forget when I was up in New York one winter working the peeps with my friend Robin Byrd. We were roomies with Joey Heatherton and it was one fuckin freezing winter in that walk up we shared in Hells Kitchen. It seemed to snow every freaking day man. I mean the Hawk was blowing down on the Forty Duece and we were constantly getting a chill on our twats as we stood behind the glass chatting up the poor lost souls who would put a token in the slot for two minutes of conversation with a hot naked chick who would diddle herself while he watched.
So Joey comes into Show World to tell us some great news. She had scored us three tickets to fly down to Florida to entertain at this TV convention. You see her dad was the Merry Mailman and he got her the gig to entertain the independent TV stations convention in the Fontainebleau hotel. I asked her what the hell did we know about entertaining. I mean we weren’t singers or dancers like Joey. So what the hell were we gonna do. Joey said not to sweat it. All we had to do was wear revealing costumes and strut around and bend over and thrust our asses and vages out at the crowd and she would do the rest. So I mean we could handle that easy so we said it was on. ROAD TRIP!
We bundled ourselves up with our fishnet stockings and black leather miniskirts and fake rabbit fur coats and took Pan Am down to Miami Beach. But you know the climate change just was too much for us. I mean we all came down with these terrible colds. Sneezing and sniffling and runny noses. We really got sick because going from the snow to the hot sand just fucked us up big-time. I didn’t know if we could go on. But it was a really well paying gig and we couldn’t screw Joey so we decided we had to do it. I mean I knew I could handle it but Robyn was very shaky. Very skanky, but also very shaky. She goes “I don’t know Laura. I really have a bad cold. And it is not just a regular cold. I mean it’s just not my nose that’s running.” “What do you mean kid, not just your nose.” “Well my nipples are leaking too.” “Damn that’s fucked up. I mean you didn’t have a kid in the last couple of hours did you.” Robyn shook her head “Of course not silly. But that’s not the worst. I also have a runny twat.” “Shit I thought you went to the doctor to take care of that. They give you a shot and it all clears up.” Robyn got all red in the face “It’s not the clap Laura. God knows that I know what the clap feels like. This is something different. I seem to have a runny twat. I mean it is actually gushing. I don’t know what to do. I think the change in temperature from freezing in the snow to the heat of Miami gave me a cold in my cunt. What am I gonna do?” “Hey baby the show must go on.”
So we get into our skimpy costumes and go out on the stage to strut and shimmy and stick out our vages to the audience of drunken conventioneers from the Midwest. They ate it up. The finale was when Joey sang “Hey Big Spender” while rubbing her tits on the face of the Muriel Cigar guy who was buying advertising down there. He was eating it up. We were sweating and running around and I guess we got to close to the edge of the stage. As we bent over and thrust our twats at the audience Robyn just burst out a stream of fluid from her vage that the soaked this little old Jewish guy who was sitting in the front row. Got it all over his glasses and his bald head and his suit and everything. We didn’t know what to do so we ran back stage. We where shitting our pants until Joey’s father came back stage. “What a performance girls, that was unbelievable. Do you know who that old Yid was that you splashed Robyn?” “No not really. Was he somebody important?” “I say it was. That was Meyer Lansky. He owns this fuckin hotel. He is one of the top gangsters in the whole fuckin USA. Lucky for you he loved it. He wants to meet you. I am bringing him backstage.” So this little old guy comes back to talk to Robyn and they started whispering in the corner. He handed her his phone number and left.
When we got back to New York I got the scoop. You see Meyer hated himself and what he had become and he loved to be humiliated. So having Robyn squirt him with her vagina fluid made him happy in a sick sort of way. So whenever he was in New York she would go over to dance for him and give him a couple of squirts while he rubbed one out. Now he didn’t come up all that often cause the Feds were after him. He tried to immigrate to Israel but they wouldn’t take him and it became a whole big magilla. But he always had a soft spot for Robyn and he was sort of her “Godfather.” He got her a gig in porno’s and she got to star in “Debbie Does Dallas.” When she got too shopworn he got her the gig as a stunt cunt in a bunch of porno’s including the “Graffenberg Spot” which was all about spouting vaginas and stuff. His final present for her was getting her the gig on Midnight Blue. It was all because of Meyer and an accident that came about because of a cold in her cunt. Climate change strikes again.
I am feeling kind of hot and sweaty my own self. I think I will see what W is up too. He loves it when I am all hot and sweaty and dirty. I think it is time for me to change his climate. It is about to get really hot.
Anyhoo they break in with this news bulletin about Barry going to Copenhagen to deal with this climate change bullshit. I mean seriously. These fucking scientists don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. One year the planet is cooling off too much and the next it is global warming. That’s why W never paid any attention to that bullshit. It is all a scam by the chinks and dot heads so we would stop our industrial production why they pollute the shit out of the environment and make lots of scratch. And this maroon Barry is falling for it like Tiger Woods for a two dollar hooker. Jeeez what a mess.
Now I don’t deny that climate change can be a big problem. I mean when you go from hot to cold too quick it can fuck you up let me tell you. I will never forget when I was up in New York one winter working the peeps with my friend Robin Byrd. We were roomies with Joey Heatherton and it was one fuckin freezing winter in that walk up we shared in Hells Kitchen. It seemed to snow every freaking day man. I mean the Hawk was blowing down on the Forty Duece and we were constantly getting a chill on our twats as we stood behind the glass chatting up the poor lost souls who would put a token in the slot for two minutes of conversation with a hot naked chick who would diddle herself while he watched.
So Joey comes into Show World to tell us some great news. She had scored us three tickets to fly down to Florida to entertain at this TV convention. You see her dad was the Merry Mailman and he got her the gig to entertain the independent TV stations convention in the Fontainebleau hotel. I asked her what the hell did we know about entertaining. I mean we weren’t singers or dancers like Joey. So what the hell were we gonna do. Joey said not to sweat it. All we had to do was wear revealing costumes and strut around and bend over and thrust our asses and vages out at the crowd and she would do the rest. So I mean we could handle that easy so we said it was on. ROAD TRIP!
We bundled ourselves up with our fishnet stockings and black leather miniskirts and fake rabbit fur coats and took Pan Am down to Miami Beach. But you know the climate change just was too much for us. I mean we all came down with these terrible colds. Sneezing and sniffling and runny noses. We really got sick because going from the snow to the hot sand just fucked us up big-time. I didn’t know if we could go on. But it was a really well paying gig and we couldn’t screw Joey so we decided we had to do it. I mean I knew I could handle it but Robyn was very shaky. Very skanky, but also very shaky. She goes “I don’t know Laura. I really have a bad cold. And it is not just a regular cold. I mean it’s just not my nose that’s running.” “What do you mean kid, not just your nose.” “Well my nipples are leaking too.” “Damn that’s fucked up. I mean you didn’t have a kid in the last couple of hours did you.” Robyn shook her head “Of course not silly. But that’s not the worst. I also have a runny twat.” “Shit I thought you went to the doctor to take care of that. They give you a shot and it all clears up.” Robyn got all red in the face “It’s not the clap Laura. God knows that I know what the clap feels like. This is something different. I seem to have a runny twat. I mean it is actually gushing. I don’t know what to do. I think the change in temperature from freezing in the snow to the heat of Miami gave me a cold in my cunt. What am I gonna do?” “Hey baby the show must go on.”
So we get into our skimpy costumes and go out on the stage to strut and shimmy and stick out our vages to the audience of drunken conventioneers from the Midwest. They ate it up. The finale was when Joey sang “Hey Big Spender” while rubbing her tits on the face of the Muriel Cigar guy who was buying advertising down there. He was eating it up. We were sweating and running around and I guess we got to close to the edge of the stage. As we bent over and thrust our twats at the audience Robyn just burst out a stream of fluid from her vage that the soaked this little old Jewish guy who was sitting in the front row. Got it all over his glasses and his bald head and his suit and everything. We didn’t know what to do so we ran back stage. We where shitting our pants until Joey’s father came back stage. “What a performance girls, that was unbelievable. Do you know who that old Yid was that you splashed Robyn?” “No not really. Was he somebody important?” “I say it was. That was Meyer Lansky. He owns this fuckin hotel. He is one of the top gangsters in the whole fuckin USA. Lucky for you he loved it. He wants to meet you. I am bringing him backstage.” So this little old guy comes back to talk to Robyn and they started whispering in the corner. He handed her his phone number and left.
When we got back to New York I got the scoop. You see Meyer hated himself and what he had become and he loved to be humiliated. So having Robyn squirt him with her vagina fluid made him happy in a sick sort of way. So whenever he was in New York she would go over to dance for him and give him a couple of squirts while he rubbed one out. Now he didn’t come up all that often cause the Feds were after him. He tried to immigrate to Israel but they wouldn’t take him and it became a whole big magilla. But he always had a soft spot for Robyn and he was sort of her “Godfather.” He got her a gig in porno’s and she got to star in “Debbie Does Dallas.” When she got too shopworn he got her the gig as a stunt cunt in a bunch of porno’s including the “Graffenberg Spot” which was all about spouting vaginas and stuff. His final present for her was getting her the gig on Midnight Blue. It was all because of Meyer and an accident that came about because of a cold in her cunt. Climate change strikes again.
I am feeling kind of hot and sweaty my own self. I think I will see what W is up too. He loves it when I am all hot and sweaty and dirty. I think it is time for me to change his climate. It is about to get really hot.
It's all there in black and white.
"Hello, is anyone her....Selina what are you doing? It is time for our session. You should be on the couch."
"But Trey there is so much more room on the floor."
"Errrr that might be true. But it is not very professional. What are you wearing."
"Why Trey you dirty bird. What am I wearing. You are supposed to text me that not blurt it out like a school boy. Hasn't Tiger Woods taught you anything?"
"I think that is a perfectly reasonable question."
"Well I am wearing a towel. I wanted to be fresh and clean for you Trey. Except for my feet. They are dirty. Filthy even. Very, very dirty. Do you like my dirty dirty feet Trey"
"Hamana, hamana, hamana, uuuurrrrpppphhhhhh!"
"But Trey there is so much more room on the floor."
"Errrr that might be true. But it is not very professional. What are you wearing."
"Why Trey you dirty bird. What am I wearing. You are supposed to text me that not blurt it out like a school boy. Hasn't Tiger Woods taught you anything?"
"I think that is a perfectly reasonable question."
"Well I am wearing a towel. I wanted to be fresh and clean for you Trey. Except for my feet. They are dirty. Filthy even. Very, very dirty. Do you like my dirty dirty feet Trey"
"Hamana, hamana, hamana, uuuurrrrpppphhhhhh!"
What a beautiful pearl necklace Moneypenny!
"What a beautiful pearl necklace Moneypenny!"
"Why thank you Commander Bond."
"You look particularly ravishing and dewy fresh today."
"My goodness you are full of compliments today."
"No more that what you deserve my dear Moneypenny. Perhaps I can help you with your regime as well since I am indeed full today."
"Whatever do mean kind sir."
"Come over here with me to the couch and I will give you a real pearl necklace."
"Ooooooooohhhhhhh JJJJJJaaaammmmmeeeeesssssss!!!!!!!"
Hey just lie back and take it easy.
"So why don't you just lie back and take it easy."
"Why I will James. Thank you."
"Perhaps you would like me to rub your feet."
"No my feet are fine."
"How about your legs. A good rubdown will increase your circulation. "
"That's not a problem for me, thank you though."
"Well let me know if I can do anything."
"I just don't get it. Here I am with my legs in the air and all you want to do is rub my feet. The English. Bleeeech."
"Actually that's Scots my dear lady."
"Call topo gigio over here. At least he knows what to do with his hands. Mama Mia."
"No that's Swedish."
"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
Flashback: Gratuitous bathtub photo horse trough edition.
To beat the cold we are going out west to the Gratuitous bathtub photo horse trough edition.
Can you guess who this lovely might be? One of the Duke's favorite leading ladies she starred in one of the seminal westerns of all time.
Labels:
bathtubs,
Blake says he knows that pose,
John Wayne,
Westerns
Hey whose house is that?
Come out and shop you fraidy cats!
Well it is the last Saturday before Christmas and it is kind of slow. We had a great week but it looks like everyone is scared because of the threat of snow. I am sitting here watching people push shopping carts full of ice melt salt and new snow shovels. I mean com'on people. This is New York not Wisconsin or Minnesota. Suck it up and go shopping for crying out loud!
Hey the holiday dresses are here!
Our new holiday velvet dress is in! In grey, eggplant (purple) and basic black it is a great holiday dress. With an imported Italian detachable broach, this dress looks great. The sleeves in particular hit in just the right place. Perfect for greeting the family for the holidays or for that business Christmas party.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Theo's grandfather shows us how it's done.
Our blog friend Theo Boehm is tired of all the conflicts that go on and on at various blogs. It gets old. We should turn over a new leaf for the new year. More love you know.
So he decided to email me a photo from his archives. This is how his grandfather courted his grandmother out in California back in the day. He is one suave dude.
It's really is all about the size of your flute.
Say you are a hoot baby.
I really hate waste you know what I mean?
I just finished my Christmas shopping.
Dude if you want cool monkeys, we got em here!
Check out the cool gorilla series that XWL is posting at his blog Immodest Proposals. I mean he has some cool nipple shots from the zoo but you no nobody can beat Cheetah. He is the man.
Or the monkey as it were.
This kid that works at the Wine and Cheese place just came back from vacation in Africa. He told us last night that he is going to move there because he loved it so much. He is moving to Sierra Leone in the new year. I told him "Holy shit you are going from Mama Leone's to Sierra Leone's in one fell swoop. Good luck with that one."
Or the monkey as it were.
This kid that works at the Wine and Cheese place just came back from vacation in Africa. He told us last night that he is going to move there because he loved it so much. He is moving to Sierra Leone in the new year. I told him "Holy shit you are going from Mama Leone's to Sierra Leone's in one fell swoop. Good luck with that one."
Thursday, December 17, 2009
A new bloody poll
In honor of our bloody accident this week, the poll asks you to pick your favorite "Blood" movie.
The Nominees:
Rambo First Blood (which is of course filled with steriods)
Blood Simple (Overrated movie from overated directors)
Blood and Sand (Rudi's best and I don't mean Giuliani)
In Cold Blood ( I mean who would believe Robert Blake as a murderer)
Bloodsucking Killer Clowns From Outerspace (or as we like to call them, congressmen)
Let's get bloody out there baby..........
You guys know your japs.
Hey sorry I have been so busy but our poll closed and Fran Dresher is your favorite JAP.
And maybe your favorite nanny this side of Elin Woods. Hee.
The results:
Fran the annoying voice Dresher 19
Mr Fuji your favorite manager 15
Jack Soo the fat jap from Barney Miller 13
Hidecki Matusi the traitor 8
Hidecki Irabu the fat puffy toad 2
Next up, what's your favorite movie with blood in the title.
Flashback: Chickenlittle's second comment at Trooper York
chickenlittle said..
You asked for it you get it here at Trooper York. What a crock. I asked for some Hee Haw hours ago in Hello Kitty 3. I should have been more specific: Lisa Todd & Barbie Benton. And while you're at it, how about some mid-60's Donna Douglas?
Ok here is Donna Douglas at age 66. Enjoy!
You asked for it you get it here at Trooper York. What a crock. I asked for some Hee Haw hours ago in Hello Kitty 3. I should have been more specific: Lisa Todd & Barbie Benton. And while you're at it, how about some mid-60's Donna Douglas?
Ok here is Donna Douglas at age 66. Enjoy!
Flashback: Gratuitous Flashback Photo What I doing in this movie edition.
You can go scratch...well maybe not!
So where was Trooper York.
No place good I'll tell ya.
There I was minding my own business watching that cheezy singing competition on Tuesday with my leg up on my easy chair. So I reach down to scratch my leg. And what do you know I start to bleed a little. I felt a little wetness and looked down and saw a little blood. You know like when you flick off a scab or something. So I think nothing of it and am watching some gay dudes from Tufts sing rock and roll acapella. Then I look down and it is really bleeding. So I get up and put my finger on the spot and walk into to the kitchen. When I take my finger off it starts to spurt out blood like crazy. Oh shit I say to myself. Did I scratch off an artery? There was blood all over the kitchen cabinet and a pool of it in my slippers and all over the floor. I put pressure back on it and go to my wife "Honey, you have to call 911." "She goes "Stop screwing around and while you up bring me some snacks.' "No I am serious." "What's the matter.' She comes in and sees the crime scene and starts screaming. "MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF!!!" "Errr I scratched myself could you call 911 I can't take my finger off the cut ya know." She runs to call 911 and to get dressed as we would proably have to go to the hospital.
About five minutes later about 40 people show up. The Fire Department, the cops and the EMT"S. They take a look and we realize that I just hit it in a bad spot and nicked a varicose vein and it just started pouring out. The pressure I put on had already clotted it and the spurting action was just from my veins being engorged with blood I guess. I am supposed to have this operation for a about a year now to fuse a valve that would help with this problem but I haven' t had any time. Anyway everything was cool and I didn't have to go to the hospital or anything. They just put a pressure bandage on and told me to stay off my feet.
So the wife laid down the law because I had scared her. I had to be a good boy and lay in bed with my leg up and not blog or sit a the computer or go to work or walk around or do anything.
You see she can be pretty tough. She always told me "Get better.... I hate it when you are sick...I ain't no Amelia Earhart."
But she is still my cookie and she is taking care of me. So now I feel much better. That bloodletting kinda helped. Maybe Jason (the commentor) can recommend a good physician who still believes in bleeding and leeches. Hey if it was good enough for Edmund Burke it is good enough for me.
Now back to starlets in bathtubs and Julie Newmar.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Flashback: Gratuitous bathtub photo who am I?
Don't worry, we are going to carry on! To VIctory!!!
"What can we do? It looks like we are going to lose? Is there any hope?"
"Don't worry. We just have to keep on keeping on. We haven't lost yet. We took a few hard knocks but we can come back. We just have to keep fighting. Keep on riding. We will get there. We will get to New Orleans. And then we will win."
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Missing blog companions
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