What would give you a splinter in your twat?

Woody became a tyrant as he became more popular as a director and star in his own series of films that were praised by the art house crowd. They didn't make any money but were considered art. He was famous for seducing his costars and having relationships with the female stars of his film. If you didn't let his slide his wood pecker into your twat you didn't get to star in one of his movies. It was interesting story how he got that wood pecker.

You see he had started out as producer and director working at Warner Brothers. He became enraged at Donald Duck who had seduced Woody's then girlfriend Daisy Duck. Of course they were both ducks so that had something to do with it as they like to stay with their own kind. So he refused to use Donald in any of the new Looney Tunes he was shooting. Donald was from New Jersey and he approached his godfather the famous gangster Don Vito who sent his consigliere Tom to approach Woody about using Donald in the new film "From Here to Maternity" where Daisy gives birth to an ugly duckling. But Woody refused and to terrorize him they put a horse's head in his bed. Which didn't matter to him because Woodpeckers are scavengers and he just picked it up and threw it away.

So they had Luca Brasi cut his dick off.

He had to get a prosthetic Wood Pecker.

That is why all of his costars end up with a splinter in their Twats.
(Walter Lantz, The E True Hollywood Story of Woody Woodpecker)