Deep Thoughts....by Titus

Titus said...
I saw the recent Indian Jones movie and she has really gained weight.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Her tits were much larger than they were before.

tits.

tits dealing with snakes.

milky, large, supple tits.

tits.

A stab in the back!

Everybody wants to be on TV. It is only natural. They use it all the time to get free stuff. They got Juan Carlos to do our hair just to get screen credit. Many of the local stores will be featured in the opening as I want to give them a boost if I can. But we have a problem with someone close to us.

We have a bunch of family and friends on the show as well as good customers. But one of our closet people wrote something on facebook that was very upsetting. They were pissed that Lisa was the star and not them. They think they could have a spinoff. So they keep trying too hard in the few scenes we have shot. Which is a joke. You are either good or you are not. You can't force it. It has to be natural if it can. Otherwise you look stupid. They don't get this. But it is clear to any one watching the dailies. We won't have to say anything. The producers will smack them down and maybe even cut them out. But it was very hard for Lisa. She felt such love and loyalty to this person. So she is very sad and hurt.

Me, I am not surprised. As I have said many times people lack both humility and self-awareness. This person is way too full of themselves. I told most of the crew "Dudes you have to remember on thing....you have a job because of Lisa....so if she wants something just do it and I will fix it later." They all get it. But this other person doesn't. They are too rapped up in delusions of grandeur and the thought that they should be a star.

The wife wanted to confront them today but I talked her out of it. I always make her wait a day or two and think about it. You don't want to go off half cocked. So to speak. By all means lay the hammer down if it is warrented but don't do it because it is emotionally satisfing.

We are both half Irish and half Italian. I tell Lisa don't be Irish. Don't go into the bar and offer to beat up the toughest guy in the bar. Be Italian. Let them feel their back and say "Gee I have a pain in my back....I don't know what it is...or my God....IT'S A KNIFE!"

Working on the Chain Gang!

Everybody thinks doing a show is glamerous or exciting but it is really like working on the chain gang. You have to stand around for hours while they set up the cameras and the sound and what not. There are a ton of people that stand around doing seemingly nothing but wait for a chance to fix your mike or move a light or something. And these fuckers all get paid.

I mean I am not complaining. But our life and our store is turned upside down. I try and sit in the back and not push my way into anything unless they want me. Lisa is carrying the ball right now working with the girls who need clothes. There will be 3 an episode and they will interweave other stuff about our life and the store. So she is working really hard. I just wait until I am needed. I pop out and make sure she gets a drink or something to eat. Or they call me to make comment on an outfit or something.

Today I had a brutal cold so I had to pop out to the doctor for some meds. My voice sounds like shit and I am blowing my nose more than Titus blows Gunga Din. So I dragging ass.

I will contribute more tomorrow when we have our trunk show party.

Day one....the adventure begins!

So we are just about finished the first day of filming and there are a lot of kinks to work out. The subject who came in was great and there was a lot of honest emotion about how great she felt getting clothes that made her feel pretty. But of course the producers thought it was too much of a downer. Hey stupid that is what we are filming today. We will do funny stuff. It is just the first day. We will make it funny. I promise.

We shot a lot of stuff first thing in the morning with me and the wife talking and setting the scene. We were a little stiff but it will work out the kinds. I only said shit three times and fuck four. I will step it up. They say I should not censor myself and they will cut it for air. Of course I can't say anything too outrageous because they will fuck me. You can't trust them. We met Caroline Manzo of the Real Housewives of NJ and she begged us not to trust the producers. Which I don't. I only trust their self interest. But then I feel the same way about everyone I meet. I can only trust their self-interest.

It takes a six day week of 12 hour days to make a half hour show. Everything we did will take about five minutes on the show. Lots of great footage will not make it to air.

Lisa was working with the girl and they had a lot of fun. I was in the back room most of the day working on stuff and blogging occasionally. It looks like I will have lots of time to fuck off. The Producer saw me come out to the front after not being in front of the cameras all day. I just wanted to see how Lisa was feeling and if she had enough to eat to keep her blood sugar level. So producer guy goes "Don't worry Jim....I will get you in a few shots at the end of the day." I said "Hey no worries dude....I ain't counting my minutes of airtime. Whatever works for the show. You don't have to patronize me. Just do what you have to do."
You see lots of the douchenozzles who get a reality show are Prima Donnas. And I am not talking about the bra company. I am too old to worry about being a star. Or getting credit. The wife can get all the kudos. If I can crack a few jokes and make everybody smile I will be happy.

You see it is all about the clothes.

AllenS is a Prophet!!!!!

AllenS said...
I'm glad that you're sleeping ok, Darcey, but I had a terrible nightmare last night that the Giants won the Super Bowl.

December 15, 2011 7:37 AM

Whose that author?

Poets to come! orators, singers, musicians to come!
Not to-day is to justify me and answer what I am for,
But you, a new brood, native, athletic, continental, greater than
before known,
Arouse! for you must justify me

I don't want to panda to you but.....

when God created love he didn't help most
when God created dogs He didn't help dogs
when God created plants that was average
when God created hate we had a standard utility

when God created me He created me
when God created the monkey He was asleep
when He created the giraffe He was drunk
when He created narcotics He was high
and when He created suicide He was low

when He created you lying in bed
He knew what He was doing
He was drunk and He was high
and He created the mountians
and the sea and fire at the same time

He made some mistakes
but when He created you lying in bed
He came all over His Blessed Universe.

What would give you a splinter in your twat?

Woody had fallen into a depraved area of his life where there was no coming back. After he lost his job at Universal Studies he was at his wit's end. He tried to make commercials but no body wanted a woodpecker to promote their products. He drifted into porno and hooked up with director Kirdy Stevens and started staring in "amateur" videos. His series of sex tapes with his adopted children were the genesis of the famous "Taboo" series that made so much money for the Mob in New York. Matty the Horse financed it and they sold these videos of Woody in a three way with his son Andy Panda and his step daughter Winnie.

Woody feel deeper and deeper into drugs and was ended up being involved in a robbery and murder spree with Long John Holmes. He had fallen about as far as you could fall.

Until he started doing reality TV.

(Walter Lantz, The E True Hollywood Story of Woody Woodpecker)

First day of shooting tomorrow!

First day of shooting tomorrow....we will be working a 12 hour day....I will give you a full report....excuse me....I have to get my make up.

What a nightmare.......

Oh my God.....it was a Nightmare.....horrible makeup....midgets....aaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!

I hope that is a remote control in your hand young man.

"Well hello young Mr. Ronald. What is that you have in your hand. You dirty, dirty little boy. Put that down. I have a gun. I will shoot you. Don't make me do that. It will hurt. Now put that back in your pants and be a good little boy."

Whose that girl?

I don't want to monkey around with you so quick......Whose that girl?

In the morning I wake up.....before I put on my makeup!

When we went to shoot the commercials on Friday....we had to be in the car at 6am. Now I know that is no big deal to AllenS or any of youse guys who are early risers but that almost killed us. We usually go to bed around three in the morning and we had to get up at 4. It was not a lot of fun.

So what is the first thing they do when we got there. They put me in make-up. The first time I ever had any on. They didn't do a lot. They just coverd up the shine. Although the girl tried to fill in my scraggley goatee. Good luck with that.

We have been having tremdous problem with the wife's makeup. It seems that these make up artists use these cancerous make up stuff. The wife has great skin because she really takes care of it.

Me I am easy. I just need a cup of coffee, a place to drop a duece and a few slaps in the face with the powderpuff and I am good to go.

Whose that girl?

Now some of you think she is smoking but I can't see it.

I wouldn't give you a Nichols for it.

Plus she could turn up naked and crazy in your front yard.

Who wants that"

And whose that girl.

Marilyn's Diary

My Uncle Herman was the kindest and gentlest man I ever knew. But he was kind of kinky. I mean I loved the stuff we used to do. How we would do each other's hair in the bath. How he would take his big meaty tongue and run it up and down my puss.....err we had a lot of fun.

But Uncle Herman made some strange friends. One summer we went to Jellystone Park and Uncle Herman struck up a friendship with this scummy little bear. The called him Brother Bear. I think it was because he was a black bear and they didn't want to be called Negro Bears anymore.

Anyway Uncle Herman and Brother Bear used to go out working in the woods. Uncle Herman would walk around pretending he was a monster and scare the campers who would run away. Then that little pervert Eddie and Brother Bear would go through the campsite and take the food and stuff. Of course Eddie would only steal the ladies panties. Especially the dirty ones. It was good clean dirty fun. Uncle Herman liked doing something with the guys. It was their special time together.

Brother Bear came to visit us once. I think he was on the run from something. He never went out in the daylight. Which wasn't unusual for our house. I mean Grandpa and Aunt Lily were vampires after all. But Brother Bear seemed very sneaky. And I didn't like the way he looked at me. But I wasn't too worried.

He hated blonds.

What a doozy of a day!

So we went to the TLC promo shoot yesterday where we had to shoot a whole bunch of commercials. You know tag lines and little vignettes that they are going to use to promote the series.

We had three set ups. One was an interview where the wife and I sat on a couch and talked. Well answered questions. It was on a big set that they use for movies and there were about seventy people working. What was fucked up was as Lisa was giving this heartfelt emotional response, we heard someone wheeling a giant cart above our heads and they all started screaming. It was a Chinese fire drill. Not that there is anything wrong with the Chinese fire department. Okay it was like an Italian cruise line. You get the picture.

After that we went to set with a big bunch of red doors on a set. We had to say tag lines like "Welcome to TLC" or "We will be TLseeing you." Yeah that's right. But I was very enthusiastic about one tag line. They said to say "We will be back this fall!" Hey we are shooting now and airing in May so that would mean we have a new season in the fall! How cool is that?

Then we had still photos at another set. Now they told us to write a phrase or a sentence on a piece of oaktag. So I had Lisa write "It's all about the clothes!" and I wrote "How much will this cost!" We were taking still photos where we each had to hold up our signs one at a time and then together. Then we started to do a bit of business where each tried to get in front of the other person with our signs and we had everyone laughing. We had them turn up the Eighties music and we went crazy. It worked out great.

We had a great time and we met a couple of other TLC people who have their own show. We met the DC Cupcakes girls who were very nice and told us they were going to give us a bunch of cupcakes. But we had to leave before they finished shooting so we didn't get any cupcakes.

Then we met the "Little Couple" Jennifer and Bill. Jennifer was very nice and came up to us to shake hands and wish us well on our show. Her husband was very quiet and had nothing to say. Just like us. Heh. I felt really bad that I was making fun of midgets all the time because they were very cool. I mean Jennifer laughed when I said "Hi nice to meet you... we're the "Big Couple."

No I didn't really say that.

Then we met Teresa Caputo who is "The Long Island Physic." She was very nice but she didn't read me. I mean I wanted to tell her "I see dead people. Well actually Deadbeat people. They owe me a bunch of money." But I was quiet and let the wife talk to her. I mean they are the stars. The bit players should stay in the background.

We had a car come to us for six in the morning. Since we were the newest show we had to be there first. The fucking Cake Boss didn't have to show up till 3 in the afternoon.

Next year I want a later call time.

I am so fuckin' Hollywood.

The only thing worse than a journalist is a lawyer.

Every time I am involved with something that gets in the press they fuck it up and get everything wrong. The press release is a case in point.

The douchebag liberals at the Huffington Post take the press release and somehow interpet it that Stacy London will be on the show and every episode will style three people instead of just one on WNTW. Stacy is the producer. The owner of the show. She will not appear on it. She might make a commercial or two or pop in for a minute once or twice but she is not in the show. Of course I caught it and wrote them a correction. Which they put in. But they still fucked it up and didn't carry the correction thought the whole post. Then In-style picked it up and carried forward the error. Other sites that cannibalized it and carried forth the error. It spread like fuckin herpes at the Jersey Shore house. I called the publicity broad to have get out in front of this. But it doesn't look like she did.

The only thing worse than a journalist is a lawyer.

Tattoo you .....don't think so!

I am waiting for the wife to finish getting ready to go to the TLC promo commercial which is shooting in Greenpoint somewhere today. We have a car picking us up at 6am which is fucking crazy.

Several of the big TLC stars will be there. Sister wives. Midgets. American Muslims. Even the tattoo guy from NY ink.

I know he is gonna tell me I need to get a tattoo. Tatto people always tell you how great it is. Not by me. I am gonna tell him "Thanks but no thanks. Tattoos are for pirates. Like parrots and peg legs. And I don't think I want any of them any time soon. But thanks for asking dude."

It can never be quite perfect!

We are getting a lot of great press. Even in the Daily Mail over in England. It seems the Brits hate it when they talk about American stuff. Based on the comments anyway. But I jumped right in there to set them straight.

I can be an asshole in two continents.

What is fucked up is the photo they pulled up was an old one of Lisa in an Anna Sholz gown. Anna is a British designer who we had a big falling out with and we certainly didn't want to be seen in her clothes in a British paper.

I have to call up the publicist and give her some more recent photos with Lisa in her own designs. This way she can send it out with the press kit.

I hate to have to do everyone's job.

Another crazy day at the circus

Yesterday they installed the lights for the show at the store and took some test shots. It was an all day affair and I was going crazy running around making sure it went off without a hitch. Or at least with out too many problems.

You see in thirty years of being in business I have a lot of experience in stuff and I try to point out things to people. Not to show them I am smarter than then (which I am but lets stay humble here) but to help them avoid mistakes.

For example the back gates to the store.I had the back gate closed and didn't open it for the last three years. They decided that they want to open it and paid to have it repaired. I told the location producer that he needed to have a pair of work gloves when he pulled the gates up and down otherwise his hands will get all messed up. He yessed me to death and then he ended up cutting up his hands on the chains as he was pulling down the gate.

I hate to tell you I told you so but I told you so.

Whose that girl?

Hey we are not going to eliminate our favorite features here at Trooper York.

This sixties hotty hated the Beatles. But insta karma is gonna get you.

Whose that girl?

Whose that author?

“Choice... He has no real choice, has he? Self-interest, the fear of physical pain drove him to that grotesque act of self-abasement. Its insincerity was clearly to be seen. He ceases to be a wrongdoer. He ceases also to be a creature capable of moral choice."

Thanks to Chickenlittle for the great new Logo

It is really great man. What a great job!

You know the only thing I really regret about going private is all the fun I will have mocking the Green Bay and the Boston fans after the Giants win the Super Bowl.

So going private will help me stay humble.

I am a legend in my own mind.

We love Stacy London

We love Stacy London. She has been very good to us. She came into the store the second day we were open and has always been our biggest supporter.

She put us on "What Not to Wear" over twenty five times.

Now don't get me wrong. We came through for her too and always produced when she needed us. They always came to us when they had a tough fit. And we helped her with some of her personal styling jobs. We all live on a two way street.

We have been talking about the show for about three years. We filmed the "sizzle reel" which is a four minute little pilot that she shopped. We did that a year ago. So now it is finally happening.

We did a lighting test in the store today. They put orange paper over all of our lights to give a "warmer" feel to the store.

I look like a rotisserie chicken.

We can't wait to start.

"We needed a Juan Carlos Haircut."

The wife loves the haircuts she gets from our friend Juan Carlos who has a salon down in Florida where our daughter lives. So whenever we go down there we rush there to get a haircut. The whole family goes.

She really wanted him to cut her hair for the shoot. When he heard we were ready to shoot he flew up on his own dime to cut our hair. It didn't cost us anything. He is just getting credit in the show.

It seems like you get a lot of free stuff when you have a reality show. I mean look at the kids on "Jersey Shore." You all know what they got for free.

Herpes.

Headless Body in Topless Boutique

No it is just naked manikins.

Supposedly we will be in the New York Post tomorrow Wendsday January 24, 2012.

I always thought I would make the Post but I thought it would be in the Police Report or "Strange but True."

This pretty cool.

Press Release The Television Blend!

Stacy London’s tenure on TLC’s What Not To Wear has given her the opportunity to dress women with many shapes, sizes, and dressing preferences. Nine seasons of dressing experience on television is certainly enough to back up a new clothing-oriented television program, and a new show seems to be where London wants to go next. With so much experience under her belt, TLC should be pretty happy to have London on board to executive produce a brand new show.

London is set to executive produce on an as-yet untitled program, which will follow Lisa and Jim Dolan, a married couple who run a plus-size clothing boutique. According to THR, the unscripted program will focus on the Dolan family, as well as customers who seek out the Dolan business - Lee Lee’s Valise, located in Brooklyn, New York. BBC Worldwide productions is also set to produce the project.

The new show, while focusing on what one boutique can offer, does sound similar to London’s background at What Not To Wear in other ways. Just like What Not To Wear, the Dolan family mission at Lee Lee’s Valise will be to revamp the wardrobes of their clients and to give them insider tips about how to dress successfully. If the Dolans can help women to dress successfully while remaining tactful about the changes, I can see the show doing well. Apparently, London has faith as well, since this is not her first partnership with the boutique. Lee Lee’s Valise has dressed several subjects on What Not To Wear throughout the years, including Heather, back in September of last year

Press Release Hollywood Reporter!

The "What Not to Wear" co-host is producing a new unscripted series about a Brooklyn boutique for plus-size women.


Stacy London is setting out on another project with TLC.

The network has ordered a new unscripted series with the What Not to Where co-host serving as executive producer.

London's yet-to-be-titled series, produced by BBC Worldwide Productions for TLC, will follow married business partners Lisa and Jim Dolan as they look to boost their stake in the plus-size fashion world.

The Dolans own Brooklyn boutique Lee Lee’s Valise, which features Lisa's designs. The series will highlight three different customers in each episode in addition to showcasing the Dolan family. And much like London's What Not to Wear, Lisa and her team will work on overhauling the clients' wardrobes, offering expertise customized for plus-size fashion.

London has worked on TLC's What Not to Wear since 2003, where she and co-host Clinton Kelly work to overhaul the styles of fashionably challenged guests.

She's joined by Scott Shatsky and Julie Merson executive producing for Super Long Play, with Elli Hakami and Jane Tranter serving as EPs from BBC Worldwide.

The TLC Press release!

So now that it is just us here is the press release that will go out tomorrow for the show:


STACY LONDON PRODUCES NEW TLC FASHION SERIES ON ONE-OF-A-KIND BROOKLYN CLOTHING BOUTIQUE

New series follows husband and wife team as they set out to conquer the plus-size fashion world

(NEW YORK, NY) – It’s plus-size fashion without the minuses of mainstream retail traditions in TLC’s newest series. Executive produced by WHAT NOT TO WEAR’s fashion authority, Stacy London, with BBC Worldwide Productions, this eight-part series set to premiere in May 2012 will follow husband and wife business owners Lisa and Jim Dolan, as they revise and revolutionize the norms of plus-size shopping experiences in their clothing store, Lee Lee’s Valise. Each episode will focus on three different customers as their intimate shopping experience at the store, combined with Lisa’s distinctive clothing line, helps transform their lives.

The average size of an American woman is 14, but no average-sized American woman experiences a normal shopping experience at a typical fashion retailer as only 18% of clothes are a size 14 or over. At Lee Lee’s Valise, women of all shapes and sizes feel confident, fashionable and sexy through Lisa’s custom-made designs, tailored business approach and bold NY personality. Through drama, laughs and a few tears, Lisa and her team will transform their customers’ wardrobe from shab to fab -- all through the simple and personalized accommodations to fit and flaunt each unique body type.

Running a successful business with a unique focus may seem like a walk in Central Park, but for this outspoken duo, drama is inevitable. While Lisa and Jim have a strong opinion about each and every item in Lee Lee’s Valise, they always put the customer first. Often times the customer’s feedback and personal shopping experience plays a vital role in how Lisa designs her line and stocks her shop.

The series is produced by BBC Worldwide Productions for TLC. Executive Producers are Scott Shatsky with Stacy London and Julie Merson executive producing for Super Long Play . Elli Hakami and Jane Tranter are executive producers for BBC Worldwide Productions.

You should wear more sweathers!

Bye Bye Baby!

Bye Bye Baby (1975)

bye bye baby

"Farewell Song"

The Mary Tyler Moore Show - The Last Show. Part 3/3

Goodnight Sweetheart Goodnight

You're in with the "In" Crowd Baby!

A big announcement!

I have been thinking about taking this blog private. What that would mean is that you would have to be an approved viewer to read it and post comments. It seems I would be limited to about 100 viewers and that would be fine. I doubt I have more than 100 people who come here.

I might want to go private because I don't want certain people to have the chance to mine my blog for things they want to use against me. That might sound paranoid but as you know that has already happened. Since I am about to have a much higher profile I think it might be the smart thing to do.

What do you think?

Please leave a comment about what you think about this or you can email me at trooperkirbyyork@live.com if you want to get in depth in our discussion.

I value your input.

You know you are living....

In the Land of the Giants.

Look out for the giant hands.

Best play of the game!

Was after the game in the lockerroom where Wellington Mara's widow tried to punch Terry Bradshaw in the balls because he hates the Giants.

She would not be deined.

GO BIG BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have to be humble......Great game by the 49er's

What a great game. The 49er's didn't deserve to go out on a fumble like that. They have a great, great defense and matched the Giants series by series. Much better than the vastly overrated Packers who the Giants really dominated. These teams were evenly matched and the differance was Eli Manning. Hit time and again he stayed in the pocket and took the sack or dumped it off to a running back. Time and again he brought us back. The Niners fought us tooth and nail. We were fortunate that a few breaks went our way. It was a nail biter.

So now it is a rematch with the Patriots. New York vs Boston. Replay of the last Super Bowl both teams were in where we won when nobody thought we could. I know we will be big underdogs again.

I can only say one thing.

BOSTON SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Duck Song 3

Our poet laureate!

ricpic said...

Black coffee and cigarettes,

Lonely rooms above the cement abyss:

Such was the dream of romantic youth,

Sealed by rights with a fatal kiss.

Go Giants...I know you can do it.

You have to stay humble.

But I think the Giants have a good chance to win.

Good luck boys.

Remember Jim Burt.

And all the hurt that has gone before.

Win one for the griper.

Marilyn's Diary

It was tough to sit at dinner with the family at the Munster mansion. Nobody suspected that Uncle Herman and I were lovers. So I would reach out and innocently touch him and my Aunt Lily and Grandpa would think nothing of it. Of course Grandpa would always be grunting and looking at the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog and he never had much to say. Aunt Lily would concentrate on getting sauced. Only Uncle Herman would pay attention to me.

He would look at me over his coffee cup with a twinkle in his eye. He would smile and take his monster tongue and lick his eyebrow. But he eventually came up with something that was really wild.

You see more then most men Uncle Herman was more than the sum of his parts. Since most of his parts were sewn on to him. He was made up of many corpses that were reanimated so he could detach pieces of himself and add better ones. You know like Beyonce's weave. So one night before dinner he called me over to the living room. He had detached something very dear to the both of us. His penis. He took it and reached under my dress and pushed it up into my vag.....errr...lets just say I had a great dinner that night squirming and sweating at the table.

Aunt Lily asked me what was wrong.

I told her it was the food. I didn't care for Franks and Beans.

Especially when she cuts up the wieners.

Commenter Memories Number 130...When Allie joined a gang!

As a young immigrant girl our friend Allie strived to fit in. So to be one of the crowd she joined up with a girl gang in Wisconsin. They all dressed alike and shouldered girls out of the way in the high school hallways. They tucked packs of cigarettes in the jumpers and hid doobies in their beehives. But worst of all they started dealing.

They hooked everyone in school on cheese.

You have to recreate the scene if you want the same result!

I have to do the same thing I did when the Giants beat and dominated those loser Packers if we are going to win on Sunday. So I have to church and say a rosary and light ten candles in front of the statue of St Jude. Then I have to go and get a massage and some acupuncture.

Then I can go home and watch them stick a hole and puncture the pretensions of another highly overrated team.

It's gonna be fun.

Colonel Mustard in the library with a candlestick!

Nobody got the clue I put out there about the Secret Project. If you did and are not saying anything that's cool. But check it out and I bet you can figure it out.

You will know something that most people don't know.

Just like the fact that the Giants are going to win the Super Bowl.

Soon all will be clear.

American Idol is Back...and Steven Tyler is a freaking Perv!

So American Idol is back and we get to see the first few auditions. And as usual it was kind of a freak show.

You see the are using the old formula that Roone Arledge patented with the "Wide World of Sports." You see even in the Olympics most people didn't give a shit about the competitors since the only ones they knew were the boxers. So they started making little video vignettes about the competitors that would humanize them and give the audience a rooting interest. So any competitive reality show does the same thing.

This year they started out with the "Tent Girl" Amy Brumfield. She is basically a drunken whore with a drug problem who lives in a forest in a tent. Her boyfriend looks like the guy they arrest at end of "Criminal Minds" and they live in a tent in the woods. Supposedly she has been arrested six times in the last seven years so maybe she learned to sing some of those sad spirituals on the chain gang or something. She won't last.

Then they had this six foot tall fifteen year old kid who brings her whole family in after she sings. She is pretty good but what makes her different is that her father was a big league pitcher with the Cards. This is when Steven Tyler steps in it and shows why he should be on "To Catch a Predator" instead of Idol. He praises her and the city of Savannah where the auditions are by saying that this kid is "“hot, humid and happening, just like your daughter." The dad looked like he wanted to bean him with a fastball. What bullshit! I mean seriously. This dude is like eighty fuckin years old and he is perving on a 15 year old kid. They got to reign this shit in. Seriously.

Then they had a wedding singer who can actually sing named Van Pelt who is no relation to Brad Van Pelt the old linebacker from the Giants. However she did say that the Giants are going to win the super bowl so I am rooting for her.

They had a Kim Jong Il impersonator who wore a hat through the whole audition. He can't sing for shit but they need him to satisfy the diversity comittee.

They have a girl who sang while her sister planked. But she won't go far because Steven Tyler said he wouldn't plank either one of them with Simon Cowells dick.

Finally they have this chick named Holly Day who tried to overdose on drugs and found salvation with a dude who looks like an Amish serial killer. She has a hideous bleached blond hairdo only found on "Blondie" tribute bands and college instructors in second tier law schools. Steve pervs on her as well and they put her through. She will make the main show and will hit on one of the other contestants and drop the Amish dude and he will go to his job at the post office and it all end badly.

But what the fuck. At least we will be entertained.

I can't have any - Black Coffee

RIP Etta James

The Babe Abides

They say we're young and we don't know
We won't find out until we grow
Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you

Babe
I got you babe.... I got you babe

They say our love won't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
I guess that's so, we don't have a pot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got

Babe
I got you babe..... I got you babe

I got flowers in the spring I got you to wear my ring
And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always around
So let them say your hair's too long
'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong
Then put your little hand in mine
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe
I got you babe I got you babe

I got you to hold my hand
I got you to understand
I got you to walk with me
I got you to talk with me
I got you to kiss goodnight
I got you to hold me tight
I got you, I won't let go
I got you to love me so

I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe

Whose that girl?

She had a great voice. Powerful. Vivid. What all the kids on American Idol aspire to be.

And she really never got her just due like so many of those great black musicians of that era.

I mean Ike Turner is only known for his management techniques.

Whose that girl?

Whose that author?

"If you wanted to teach a baby a lesson, would you cut its head off? Of course not. You'd paddle it. There can be circumstances when it's just as foolish to hit an enemy city with an H-bomb as it would be to spank a baby with an axe. War is not violence and killing, pure and simple; war is controlled violence, for a purpose. The purpose of war is to support your government's decisions by force. The purpose is never to kill the enemy just to be killing him...but to make him do what you want to do. Not killing...but controlled and purposeful violence. But it's not your business or mine to decide the purpose of the control. It's never a soldier's business to decide when or where or how—or why—he fights; that belongs to the statesmen and the generals. The statesmen decide why and how much; the generals take it from there and tell us where and when and how. We supply the violence; other people—'older and wiser heads,' as they say—supply the control. Which is as it should be."

I should have painted them with those little jars of white paint from the model plane store!

We just had to have our fuckin' teeth whitened for the commercial. It cost over $800 and the dentist gave me break because I am putting him in the show. Holy shit. I should have just painted them with those little jars of white paint that I used to buy when I was making my airplane models. What a fucking rip-off.

And you know what is even worse? No red wine. No red sauce. No espresso. I want to kill myself.

How can you expect to win the big game.....

When your quarterback looks like a seventies porno star.

Deep Thoughts....by Titus

Titus said...
I believe a loaf is beautiful though Allie.

I also enjoy stopping and smelling "the flower".

tits.

Whose that author?

The earth is a nursery in which men and women play at being heroes and heroines, saints and sinners; but they are dragged down from their fool's paradise by their bodies: hunger and cold and thirst, age and decay and disease, death above all, make them slaves of reality: thrice a day meals must be eaten and digested: thrice a century a new generation must be engendered: ages of faith, of romance, and of science are all driven at last to have but one prayer "Make me a healthy animal."

What Perry really wants to do to Mitt!

Man I thought you can't stop believing?

I just heard that Steve Perry dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination. I thought he got all popular again after they used "Don't Stop Believing" on the Sopranos? Plus they are always using Journey songs on Glee. That should have made him popular enough to do well in the primaries.

What a pussy. You can't stop believing man. Listen to your own fucking song.

Hey there is a dress code!

So we just got the info about the promotional commercial we are going to shoot. It will be with all the big stars of the network. That is pretty cool considering the fact that we haven't shot one frame of the show yet. So they must have a lot of confidence that our show is gonna be pretty good.

We get a driver and hair and make-up. Cool. I hate to put my makeup on by myself. WTF?

Anyhoo they tell us "No wild patterns or logo tees or sports apparell with a team name on it." I mean shit when you take away my Hawaiian shirts, Yankee t-shirts and Giant's replica jersey's I don't have a fucking thing to wear.

I am going to Men's Warehouse to buy one of those fuckin' white dinner jackets that James Bond wears. That will show them.

Deep Thoughts....by Titus

Titus said...
I am about to pinch a loaf, which is odd, because I only generally pinch in the morning.

tits.