Happy Mothers Day!!!!!!

Happy Mothers Day to all of you mothers out there and to all of our mothers. I was very busy in the store and also had to take time to stop off and see my Mom today. She had a barbeque and I stopped by for a bit to visit but had to get back to the store. I will go for a proper visit during the week.

In honor of Mother's Day I want to have this poll.

Who is your favorite Mother?

Problems of a shopkeeper

So we went to the fabric stores again this past Monday and we had a bunch of questions to solve. Here's one for you. We found this fabric pictured above. It is a sturdy stretch denim with an overlay of flowers. It looks pretty good and would make a good jean jacket. The only problem is that the flowers are brown. If we make it then we have to have something it can go back to it. A skirt or a pair of pants or something. There are not that many brown things that would match up with it. A jean skirt might be all right but it has to be the same exact wash as this piece. Not so easy to find. I can only make 13 pieces out of it so it is not really worth it. Should I buy it? Or not?

We have made a decision on these dresses. We are making the one on the right with the print on the top instead of the plain black. I get fourteen more dresses that way and maximize the fabric. I voted that way from the start and I am glad that we are doing it that way. The other dress is beautiful but we lose too much revenue and it is just too wasteful.

Whose that girl?

If she were to be found instead of the opposite it would be in Florida. Star of a show I have been watching on Net Flicks she is a really annoying contemporary actress. No matter what she gives you it is always dirty.

Whose that girl?

Whose that author?

“She's going to do nothing but try to trick information out of me that I shouldn't be giving her, Mac," I said.
"Ungh," Mac agreed.
"Why did I say yes?"
Mac shrugged.
"She's pretty," I said. "Smart. Sexy."
"Ungh."
"Any red-blooded man would have done the same thing."
"Hngh," Mac snorted.
"Well. Maybe not you."
Mac smiled a bit, mollified.
"Still. It's going to make trouble for me. I must be crazy to go for someone like that." I picked up my sandwich, and sighed.
"Dumb," Mac said.
"I just said she was smart, Mac."
Mac's face flickered into that smile, and it made him look years younger, almost boyish. "Not her," he said. "You.”  

Panda Sex with Charles Bukowski

the words have come and gone,
I sit ill.
the phone rings, the cats sleep.
Linda vacuums.
I am waiting to live,
waiting to die.       

Stupid Court St Festival

They had the Court Street Festival this past Sunday and as usual it was a shit storm. I was lucky enough to have a couple of destination shoppers but I got no business from the street fair. Of course they put someone selling cheap clothing right in front of my store. Now it didn't matter much because it wasn't plus size but it is the principle of the idea. I mean this fuck doesn't pay the rent that I pay but he can set up his pop stand in front of my store and make money.

In the old days it was a lot better when it was a religious festival and the Mafia controlled it. I could have made a call and made sure that there was no clothing on my block. But once fucking Giuliani got in and broke the back of Mob's control of street fairs it went to a fucking bullshit corporation that has the same cheap sunglasses and Iphone cases and 200 count sheets at every street fair. What a waste.

I couldn't even do what I loved to do which is go out and eat from all the stands. No sausage and peppers. No funnel cake. No calzone or zeppoles. No French fries. No grilled corn on cob dipped in butter and salt. No mozzarella grilled cornbread sandwiches. The only thing I got to eat was a piece of escarole pie that my friend Antonio was selling across the street at Monteleone's. My diet is so constricted that I was banned from everything.

So now I really hate the street fair.

Laura Bush's Diary

I was sitting on the porch at ranch with Jena and Doro and we had the bong out and a couple of bags of Dorito’s. Jena has cut back on the drinking now that she is a Mom and all but she still likes to get high. Baby Mila is a handful but a few tokes lets Jen relax and handle it without stressing too much. Unlike her sister who will need to heavily medicated if she ever gets a baby daddy.

Anyhoo W was off in the den doing an interview with Jack Tapper. The press is coming around and sniffing W’s butt like he was a rented dog being walked by some unemployed grifter because Barry is fucking up so bad that they have to cover his mulatto ass by going back ten years to pick at mistakes that we may have made. Plus they are always trying to trick W into saying something so they spin the news  cycle to attack him instead of the liar in chief.

When they were finished they came out on the porch for some Lemonade. W doesn’t drink anymore and he for sure doesn’t toke it up. But he is a lot more relaxed about it now since it is legal in so much of the country. So we don’t have to hide it like we were in a Cheech and Chong video. Of course if we were Doro would be giving the Chink a hummer because she loves her some tinyoriental dick.

W says “Well that was interesting honey. Tapper had a lot of questions but he mostly was trying to talk me about Jeb running. Bush vs. Clinton again. Hee. He thought I was going to trash my little brother like I was a Kennedy or something. What a maroon.”

“You can’t expect much from a reporter George. But then you can’t expect much from that pissant beaner loving brother of yours.”  “Now, now Laura darling don’t you go getting all riled up at poor Jebbie. You know he got ruined by the choocie –choocie.” “Ah shit W when you put it like that I can’t be arguing with you.” We laughed and laughed.

You see it all went back to the old days. W had graduated and finished his time in the Air National Guard. We were courting after old man Prescott Bush introduced us after I had met him at the Bohemian grove. I was going back to school because I couldn’t be married to a Bush with just a high school education and experience at the Peeps in Times Square. W would come by and we would hang out and have a few margaritas. Even so often his geeky little brother would tag along. While this was going on Poppy Bush had proposed W as a legacy inductee to the Bohemian Grove. Now technically you were supposed to be an accomplished businessman or soldier or tycoon of one sort or another but all the old families got their kids in when they turned twenty one. W was kind of star struck with some of the old men he met there. There was Nelson Rockefellerswho was a pussy hound of the first water and old Bob Taft who was such a symbol of old school GOP values that he gave W a chubbie. But his favorite friend of all time that he made in the Bohemian Grove was of course Joe DiMaggio.

Now Joe wasn’t your typical member of the club but all of those old coots were jock sniffers so they let in people like Joe and Ted Williams and Stan Musial. Not Willie Mays of course because he could only stand on the lawn and hold a lantern for those good old boys. Joe was very depressed ever since Marilyn died and he was out and about banging anything that moved. He would hang around with his friend Sinatra and they would pass the boards back and forth like they were baseball cards or some such. They went through all the slutty hose bags of those days. Mamie Van Doren. Anita Gillette. Mia Farrow. Juliet Prowse. Betty White. And of course my dear friend Joey Heatherton.

Joey was just as depressed as Jolt’n Joe because her marriage to Lance Rentzel had gone south when he got nabbed for being a weenie wagger. She had a long term affair with Bob Hope but that was more business than pleasure as she had to give him a Dirty Sanchez now and again so he would take her on his USO tours. They were tapering off though since Vietnam had ended and to be sure Bob little taper was tapering off since they hadn’t invented Viagra yet. Well they had invented it but only Armand Hammer and Nelson Rockefeller had it and they weren’t sharing. So Joey would hook up with random celebrities at various Hollywood parties. She even did it with Jake and Fatman and BJ and the Bear. But that is another story.

We were still tight as sisters from the days we used to share an apartment in New York and one day she called me up to invite me on cruise. It seems she was going to be on the “Love Boat” and she could invite some friends to serve as extras. This episode was a Canadian cruise out of New York that would stop over in Bar Harbor Maine which is just a hop and skip from Kennebunkport. So we decided to get on the ship and watch as they filmed the episode. The only problem was that Poppy and that bitch Babs were going away on a campaign swing and we had to watch Doro and that pissant Jeb.

We got on the ship and got our cabin and went down to watch the filming. You know about the ”Love Boat.” There were always three stories and they were broken into segments. One had Phil Silvers and Ethel Merman in an old age love story. The other had Joey hooking up with Bert Convey. And the best one was the one and only Charo who plays a young Cuban refugee who fell I love with Gopher and wanted to sing with the band. The best part about the trip was all the drinking. Whooa Nellie did they booze it up. They made Don Draper look like the Church Lady. W was in his drinking phase so he was out carousing with Doc and Isaac and Phil Silvers all night long. I hung out with Joey as we talked about old times and how our lives had diverged into such different paths. She was very sad and drinking and crying so I didn’t have time to keep an eye on Doro and Jeb. I left them to their own devices. Doro followed around one of the Filipino stewards making goo goo eyes at him since he was the closest thing to a Chinaman she could find. And Jeb would follow around Charo like a sick little puppy.

Jeb was only fourteen and a puffy glasses wearing nerd. But Charo was very nice to him. She talked to him. Well at least she babbled in her broken Spanglish. She taught him a few cords on the guitar. He was in love.

Now it so happened that Joe D was on the trip with Charo because he was dating her at the time.  He was hanging with her and banging the shit out of her most of the time but he started drinking and playing cards with W and the boys and Charo got pissed. So pissed that she threatened him one night that she would go out and bang the first swinging dick that came along. Joe just laughed. I mean he was used to dealing with Marilyn's bullshit so Charo was no big fucking deal. She stormed off the Lido deck and ran into Jeb who was hanging around mooning over her. She grabbed him by the arm and took him up to the fiesta deck and banged him on deck chair all night. Jeb never recovered. He was addicted to Latina poon since that very night. He couldn’t live without it. He ended up marrying this Mexican girl that was the maid and towel changer in a Vegas Massage parlor. He was such a loser he didn't even marry a hooker. He married the maid.  Babs was furious. W and I could only laugh. Jeb was caught by the choocie choocie.

So it seems unlikely that Jeb would be running anytime soon. I mean you have to figure that Charo will spill the beans. Or Susan Martinez will blab about the time Jeb got caught sniffing her seat at that governor’s conference.  He has too many sombrero skeletons in his closet. It ain’t gonna happen. It wouldn’t be prudent.

Plus W is going to endorse Rand Paul. Rove has photos of him with a goat and a guy dressed like one of those Area 51 aliens. We can control him. It’s all set.

I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)

Fabric shopping has been very tough

We have been running ragged shopping for fabric to fulfill the Japanese order. They had ordered one of our signature fabrics in a silk blend that is impossible to find anywhere. Our last stop was to the fabric store that we featured on the show. They have two stores in midtown in the garment center.

It is interesting that many of the people who own fabric stores here and in California are Persian Jews. It is almost as if we were in the reality show "The Shahs of Sunset." Diana who is in the photo with Lisa is an exception to the rule. She is generally reputable if a little pushy. But if you push back you can keep it in line. It is a Middle Eastern thing so to speak.

It is a different kettle of fish with the mooks in California. I had a big argument with one of them yesterday. I wanted about 400 yards of a fabric but he had 421 on the roll and said I had to take all of it or nothing. I mean when I go to the deli and order a pound of ham they guy doesn't tell me have to buy one and a quarter pounds because that is what he had left and it would be hard to sell a quarter pound of ham. I mean I would take it if I got a better price or I would buy less. But I needed this specific fabric to fulfill the order so I had to swallow it. I am not happy.

I won't be buying from that company again.

Nothing is better than a tight box...err....a clean box....err....whatever

So we finished the box down the basement. This is a bad photo. here is a better one.

We set up some heavy duty metal poles for coats and dresses and put a bunch of shelves to hold the container store soft canvas storage boxes. It is air tight and cedar lined. Or at lease we used cedar oil on another type of wood. Sixty would know better than me but he has been absent from here lately. I must have done something to piss him off.

I got a bunch of cedar to put throughout the box but cedar itself was way too expensive. This is wood that was treated with cedar oil and I am getting a bunch of cedar blocks to put throughout the box. I think that will be fine.

The lighting was a little tough inside but you get the idea. I transferred a bunch of clothing down to the cellar and cleared out the back room in anticipation of the creation of the lingerie store. I got Omar and Hassan my cabdriver friends to move the stuff down the cellar. They called a couple of their friends to help. Nobody could get a car service for a couple of hours. But we got the job done.

It was very tiring but worthwhile. Now the big renovation can commence.

I have been slacking off.

Which is no where as much fun as whacking off.

We have been so busy and I have been so tired that I have not had enough time or desire to continue my two storylines about Doc and Joey. But I have thinking about it.

Here is a crazy thought. Big Nose Katie Elder was from Eastern Europe. What if she were a vampire?

I don't know. That might really sell.

rcocean said...Not as good as working as a bra fitter though

So I am standing behind the counter and this dude walks. Short and an Orthodox Jew. He asks me if I sell bras. Which of course we do. I say "Sure but you need to know your wife's size." He goes "Do you do bra fittings?" I say "of course my wife does" (Lisa was standing on the other side of the store fixing up some displays). He goes "Ok I want a fitting. For me."

Now I was about to tell he to take a walk but Lisa came over and said she would do it. She is a lot more tolerant than me. Of course she also wanted to make a sale of an expensive bra. So she fits him in the dressing room. She told him up front "Don't waste my time. If you want to buy a bra that's fine but don't just come in to fool around." You see this isn't the first time this has happened to us. We had it happen three other times. Men come in buy bras. Try them on. And then walk out and not buy them.

So the dude goes "No, no I really want to buy it." He finds one he likes. But he wants the matching panties. Of course we don't have those. So he goes "I have to think about it, I will come back tomorrow."  And walks out of the store.

The wife was livid. Of course she wasted her time. I have always wanted to make a strict rule. We sell women's clothing to women. Not dudes. They mistake my wife's kindness for weakness.

This will be a bigger issue once we open the lingerie store. But what am I going to do when NYC comes in and tells me I can't discriminate against perverts? Tells me that I can't tell some dude not to put his ball sack in a pair of panties and then not buy them because he "changed his mind?"

What the fuck is this world coming too?

I think I might have to stop watching TV altogether.

Except for the Housewives shows.

You know me. I love episodic television. I follow a whole bunch of them. Person of Interest. Justified. Sons of Anarchy. The Good Wife. Once Upon a Time. Resurrection. Believe. Mike and Molly. Big Bang. Brooklyn 99. Mad Men. Game of Thrones. Homeland. And Chicago Fire and Chicago PD.

Now the last two were created by the same douchebag that does all of the Law and Order shows. I don't watch any of them anymore because they are so out of the box liberal and politically correct bullshit. Every criminal is a white guy. Or a clergyman. Or businessman. Or a father who rapes his daughter. Never the actual people who commit about 95% of the crimes that actually happen in NYC.

But the Chicago Fire show was pretty good. I mean I enjoyed all of the crazy rescues they had on the show. The soap opera stuff that they added in was stupid but you could over look it. But this weeks double episode kind of jumped the shark.

They had a bombing episode where an "anti-government" protestor set off a bomb in a Chicago hospital. When they saw the damage they immediately said "It's just like Oklahoma City." Now that happened ten years ago. Why would you reference that? Wouldn't it be more likely to be "Just like the Boston Marathon?" The perp was a kid who had his family burned out like Waco and his Mom was shot like in Ruby Ridge. His old man was in prison. They question him but are really only there to have him make racist remarks that makes them justified in beating him while he was handcuffed. Because you know that is what you are supposed to do.

They really load the dice. Two young eight year olds are hurt. One dies and gives her liver to the other for a transplant. Anything to tug at the heartstrings and show how crazy the Tea Party anti-government types are and how dangerous they are.

I wanted to shoot the TV like Elvis did but I paid too much for it.

I guess I will have to watch something else on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Mindless liberal pap is not what I want to see on my limited time off.

The Mets always screw it up

There was a big ta-do the last couple of days about "Lardball." Which was the headline on the Post making fun of the Met's chubby pitcher Bartolo Colon.

The Mets players decided to boycott the writer who wrote that article. In fact they refused to talk to anyone in the press until that guy left the clubhouse.

The Mets players finally got one right. Good for them.

The only thing worse than a journalist is a lawyer.

Reason 19,875 why I have to get out of Brooklyn

The New York City Council is taking up a bill that will make it illegal for employers to ask prospective employees if they have a criminal record. You will not be able to include a box to check off if you have ever been convicted of a crime. You can only enquire if you offer the job. Then you have to prove it is a good enough reason to not hire them if they disclose that they had served time.

So for example if you run a trucking company you can not ask if they have DUI. If you run a day care you can not ask if they are a registered sex offender. If you run a boutique you can not ask if they were arrested or convicted of shop lifting. Burglary. Embezzlement. Murder. There is a $1,000 fine for every time you ask that question before you hire someone.

Take the example of the dude who applied for one of my positions at the store. I was seriously considering him. He filled out his application and of course he had never been arrested or convicted of anything. But under the new law I couldn't ask that question.  I could have offered him the job and then asked the question. He could have said he spent ten years upstate for murder. Then I would have to prove why it would be disqualifying to hire a murderer to work in my store. If I didn't give him the job because of that fact  he could sue me. And win with a typical "Brooklyn jury."

Why would I ever want to consider anyone who ever possibly been arrested? Why take that risk? Why open up the job to that person?

Why does the government want to destroy small businessmen?

What will they think of next to force me to sell my lease and leave?

The informer

Katie Madden: Ah, Gypo, what's the use? I'm hungry, and I can't pay my room rent. Have you the price of a flop on you?
Gypo Nolan: No.
Katie Madden: What's the use? Ah. don't look at me like that, Gypo! You're all I got! You're the only one. You know that. But what chance do we have to escape? Money! Some people have all the luck!
[Indicating the ad in the travel agency window]
Katie Madden: Look at that thing handing us the ha-ha! Ten pounds to America! Twenty pounds and the world is ours?
Gypo Nolan: What are you saying that for?
Katie Madden If only I could record something to sell. You know. From one of my customers. Maybe the spuldeen that owns the soccer team. Gypo can you get me a tape recorder?

Marilyn's Diary

We had a lot of strange neighbors living as we did in Southern California. There was Sandy Koufax who would come to visit Grandpa for sleepovers in his coffin on day games after night games. This Jewish Lawyer guy named Sterling who kept asking me out and telling never to take snapshots with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Aunt Lily's friend Charlie who had all these weird hippie chicks hanging around and who played the guitar really badly. And of course the Carradine brothers. They were really creepy.

These little freaks loved to run around with my filthy cousin Eddie. They would run around peeping in peoples windows trying to catch a glimpse of them naked or having sex. Or in Eddie's case trying to see them pee.

The worst of them was the oldest Davey. He introduced Eddie to the joys of jerking off. But not just regular jerking off. He liked to be choked while he was choking the chicken. That is why when they played "Bonanza" they all fought to be the guy who was being hung. I told Uncle Herman that he should put a stop to it but he laughed it off. So did Grandpa. They thought it was a harmless hobby.

I thought they would all come to a bad end.

It is a very boring rainy day

It is a very rainy boring day in Brooklyn. Nobody is out because it is raining really hard and it is cold and miserable.

I am in the store by myself and the Hanky Panky order came in so I had to check all the panties in so we make sure that we got what we ordered.

Nothing like sorting through women's underwear to pass the time.

The least racist man in the world.

He walks all the dogs in Madison to make sure that they won’t bark at black people.

He goes all over the internets to fight white privilege wherever it might be found.

He financially supports his racist black commenters so they can be free to harangue white people on a nonstop basis.

He never washes his drawers because wearing tightie whities are racist.

He throws black ink on people wearing LA Clipper Jerseys.

He worships the Kardashians because they only suck black dick.

He demands that the Bakeries stop selling black and white cookies and only sell black cookies.

He puts all of the black licorice Twizzlers in front of the red ones so people will buy them first.

He inspects children’s Easter baskets to make sure they only have black jellybeans.

He is the least racist man in the world.

Stay non-racist my friend.

 

Storage Wars 3

We are building a twelve by ten storage locker in the basement to hold all of our off season clothing. It will be lined in cedar to keep the bugs and mice out.

This is what we finally decided on instead of moving to the city.  By creating clean safe storage in the basement we can empty out the back store and set up the lingerie store to maximize the earnings potential of our site.

It works out to about a hundred bucks a month which is a lot cheaper than the cheapest storage unit. We should be done next week. But in the meantime we will be working like dogs to get everything done.

Storage Wars 2

We had to go to our storage unit on Third Avenue to empty it out. We are building a storage unit in the basement. It is pretty elaborate and I will describe in a different post.

Of course this was the storage unit filled with the stuff from the back room of the store that the people on the show took to storage. We haven't had occasion to go there since we filled it and it was time to close it out and save the money. Of course I couldn't find the key so I had to have my friend Linus who runs the joint cut the lock for me.

He couldn't break it with the clippers so he had bring up the saw to cut it off. It took a good ten minutes because it was a really good lock.

The unit was filled with a lot of clothes that we have no way to sell since it is out of date and not trendy anymore. So we donated it all to a battered woman's charity so it will go to a good cause. They came to help us clean out the locker and close it down.

It was a lot of work and I was exhausted after it was done.

Storage Wars 1

The Killer Angels

Joshua Chamberlain looked down from Little Round Top. He could see the butternut clad forces of Lee’s Army drawing together for a charge. Their tattered battle standards whipped in the wind as the Rebs checked the loads in their rifles and readied their battered footgear for the fight ahead. His brother Tom came to stand beside him. “Sure is a lot of Johnnie Rebs coming this way Josh. Did the General tell you what we should do when you went up the hill?”
Kilrain spit out a gob from his chaw. “I doubt old Meade has a plan. He dithers like an old woman. I think he left us out here on the sharp end of the stick Colonel darling.”
Chamberlain looked over the battlefield. “We are here to do our duty Tom. It is a noble cause we are engaged in. A fight to set men free.”
"Do you think people will remember this Josh a hundred years from now?”
Kilrain spit. “Not hardly. Man is quick to forget a good turn. The only thing they will husband is a grudge. This is a rich man’s war and a poor man’s fight.”
“No I don’t think that’s right Buster. I think people will long remember what we do here. Our comrades have laid down their lives to set men free. That will never be forgotten.”
“It is a fine man you are Colonel darling but you couldn’t be more wrong.”

Why has our country become so pussified?

I mean everyone is losing their shit about Pineda using a little pine tar. What the fuck? Whitey Ford and Gaylord Perry put more spit on the ball than the Occupy Wall Street Assholes spit on the cops. It's not the end of the world. You have to take your best advantage to win the game. Yogi used to sharpen his shin guard buckle and would rub the ball and cut it up for Whitey to throw the screwgie. I mean Whitey could make the ball dip if the label was stamped crooked.

Cut the crap pussies. There is no room for pussies in baseball.

I mean who was surprised?

On the Reunion of the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" there was a weave snatching incident. All around psycho and bad actor Kenya Moore brought some props to the reunion. She was on a island since all the other bitches hate her guts. Three of them conspired to attack her. But she has balls. (No I think she really has balls).

Kenya brought a scepter to point at the other women like she was some kind of Queen. Not the Palladian kind of Queen. The bad tooth British type of Queen. So all around dimwit and video ho Porsha Stewart grabbed it out of her hand and through it across the room. Kenya told her she would stop using it if Porsha could spell "scepter." Hilarity ensued. I mean Porsha was named after a car and she couldn't even spell that right.

Porsha couldn't take the insults and the spelling questions so she stood up and got in the face of what she called "a washed up from the 1990's ratchet ho" and grabbed her by the weave and dragged her across the floor. Security and production jumped in and broke it up. Kenya walked off yelling "Your fired." Porsha was sent home by production. Reports are that she is fired.

There is a lot of talk about how all of the Housewives franchises are segregated. There are only latina's on Miami except for Lia Black, only white woman on NY, Beverly Hills and Orange County and only blacks on Atlanta. There was a white woman Kim Zolciak on Atlanta but she was kicked off in a midst a bunch of racial animosity. To mean this is the real measure of the racial state of America. Much more so than the ravings of a kept man in Madison and his pet Bubbles. People self segregate. They stick with their own kind. Interaction is limited at best. It is just the way it is.

I never get to have any fun!

I have temporarily fixed my employee problem. We have a couple of African American employees. So I told the wife that I wanted to wear my white suit and my planters hat. I already have the goatee and the cane.

I can go the full Django.

Opulance

Every tyrant intent on world domination should have a tiny giraffe.

That and a cat to stroke. But I am allergic. So I have to stick to a giraffe. Made out of human flesh.

Problems of a shopkeeper

So we have to make a decision. An example of one of the many decisions we have to make every day.

We have this rich vibrant fabric that we have to decide how to cut. There is a print on the bottom of the fabric. We call it the ovary fabric for obvious reason. The decision is how to cut it. If we use the first method we get more dresses but it is very much a "dressy" dress. It is more for an event then everyday. The other way utilizes the print on the top of the dress. Makes it more of an "everyday" dress.

So which one would you do ladies?

Who is this Jim Dolan character?

Well it ain't the guy who owns the Garden and Cablevision. He is to busy fucking up the Knicks and the Rangers to bother posting on Lem's Levity.

He ain't the baldheaded dofous who is busy running to fires and shootings for Eyewitness News in NYC. He is too busy screwing up his reporting to post on the internet.

It ain't even the Jim Dolan who was one of the main troublemakers in the famous "Lincoln County War" along with more famous scoundrels such as John Chisum, Pat Garret and William Bonney.

It is your humble correspondent and bathing beauty Trooper York.

I switched my business email to Google Mail so I have to be signed in to work on my emails. So when I surf over somewhere sometimes I forget to change back so my real name comes out occasion. Since I only post here and at Lem's I am not to worried about it.

You can tell by the picture I don't sweat much.

Problems of a shopkeeper

So I have been extremely  busy the last couple of days and goofed off on my posting. I am in the midst of changing  my back store into a complete different thing I am putting a lingerie store there and have to get all of the stuff out of the back room so I can open up this side entrance as a separate store.

I have been interviewing contractors which is always a pain in the ass. The first thing I am doing is setting up a room in the basement to store all of my off season goods. It will be lined in cedar to take care of the moth and insect problems. They are starting today and should be finished by the end of the week. I will move most of my back stock there. Then I have to put an electric gate on the gate you see pictured. NYC passed a law that all new gates have to be see-through. So it is mandated that I use a different style if I want to change the gate. Now this works because I will have displays for people to see so that I can pump up sales.

I am also in the midst of trying to finalize our wholesale line and fulfilling the order for Japan. While trying to find new employees and a new production factory in Brooklyn.

I am as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

But it is all good.

Holy Thursday Humor

So I was in the bakery across the street getting some coffee when Father Sansone from Sacred Hearts comes in to pick up his pastry. Maria the owner greets him and turns with her back to us to ring up another customer. Now he had double parked outside and he saw the guy at the curb start to pull away and he rushes outside to move his car.

Maria turns around and goes to me "Where did Father go?"

I said "Oh he left. He will be back in three days."

We both had a laugh.

Whose you're favorite Western Actor

Whose you're favorite Western Actor of all time:

Jack

Claude

Hank

Ben

Hey I figure why not pick from "real" western actors. (all misspellings are made just to annoy Sixty)

Tom Doniphon or Quirt Evans?

There is a base canard put forward by many a moron that John Wayne played the same character in every film. That he only played John Wayne. He did play a type that is true. But there were variations on the theme.

The question who do we want to be? Tom Doniphon or Quirt Evans?

Quirt Evans was the outlaw who gave up his guns for the love of a woman in "The Angel and the Badman." This is one of my favorite John Wayne movies of all time. Quirt quit his job as Wyatt Earp's deputy and sold his ranch to go and seek revenge against the men who killed rancher Walt Ennis who raised him from a pup. He was injured and nursed back to health by a Quaker family. He falls in love with the daughter and she eventually gets him to turn away from the way of the gun. To the point that he puts his life at risk.

Tom Doniphon is a different kettle of fish. He loves Hallie with all of his heart. Loves her enough to let her go to Ransome Stoddard the feminized lawyer who falsely gets credit for the murder of Liberty Valance. Tom shoots him down in cold blood. Without remorse. He is the cynical bitter edge of the Western hero. The hetero hero who is gone today. The world  these days wants everyone to be like Ransome Stoddard. The lawyer. The politician. The liar. The fraud.

People scorn the Tom Doniphon's these days. Even though they are out there keeping us safe. Those hard men risk their lives so the Ransome Stoddards can collect their awards and accolades.

But we know the truth..

A funny thing happened on my way to the forum!

I stopped off for a drink at this motel in Iowa and it turned out to be Caesar's Palace.  Well Sid Caesar's Palace.

It was a new thing out in the boonies.

At least they had hot and cold running Joey Heathertons.

What am I saying? Joey is always hot!

Whose that girl?

n

You might call her a whore, a prostitute or a jezebel but that would not be her name. Only a synonym. You could call her that outside her window and she might come out on the balconey. But she played so many queens that she might blow you off anyway.

Whose that girl?