Oh boy I have I been busy. You see I have been helping W write his memoirs that he just published this week. Mainly I wanted to make sure that he didn’t spill the beans on any of my stories that I have been telling you dear diary. Those are just for you and me. And of course Jenna when she gets it in my will. I am leaving it to Jenna because I know she will appreciate it. Not like Barbara who would probably burn it the twitchy little twat.
Anywho the book is finally out and everybody is buying it up which is great for W’s morale. He was kinda of down because you see he hates to see what Barry is doing to the country but he has too much class to say anything about it. I mean he doesn’t want to do what that peanut dick Jimmy Carter has done to every President that followed him in office. You don’t comment on what somebody else is doing when you were President. That’s low class. Even Bubba kept his mouth shut by and large. So W was ecstatic to get out and about and talk to people instead of being stuck inside at the ranch eating pretzels and trying not to choke hisself.
It is really funny what the douchenozzle press is getting excited about. I mean there was a big controversy over W talking about the time he asked Joan Collins what sex was like for older women. Well that wasn’t actually what he said. He asked her if Anthony Newly could fit his entire Easter Island head up her cooze. But he cleaned it up for his memoirs. I mean that was why old Barb was pissed. She didn’t give a shit about the sex talk. She loved to talk about banging that nasty old hose bag. But she didn’t like W hitting on someone at her table in front of her. She always wanted everyone to think she was all that. I know! What a dope! But that’s how the old bat is you know.
And of course Barb has a very weird relationship with her sons. I mean she used to give Jeb a bath until he married the maid. I mean it is kinda weird how close the boys are to old Barb. W and Neil and Jeb are just way to close to the old bag. I mean they used to take a spritz in the steam room in the Naval Observatory naked all the time. It really freaked out the other girls especially Jeb’s wife Juanita who was all “Que passo con tu madre” and stuff. But I just laughed and shrugged my shoulders about it. Because I had seen a lot worse.
You see back when I was sharing an apartment with Robin Byrd and Joey Heatherton and Anita Gillette and boy oh boy where we were all really poor. So any chance we got to go to a party where there was free food and booze well we jumped right on that. And often on the old geezer who ran the party. The best parties were the ones that Joey’s Dad the Merry Mailman used to throw. I mean he would invite all the big wigs from WPIX and WOR and all the local channels to his house up in Nyack and there was always tons of free food and booze and stuff. It was a whole lot of fun right up until the time the guy from Wonderama got pinched for touching that kid in the playground. But hey that’s another story. We loved those parties because no body had to put out unless you wanted to which is always a bonus. Or at least we thought it was.
You see most of these guys were older. Old enough to be our father. After all the Merry Mailman was Joey’s father. So it was kinda nasty when the old lechers would grab at you and stuff. I mean you didn’t care about a little feel or cup here or there we were all used to that from the peep show world. But some of these old codgers were horny fucks. Especially the ones from the advertising agencies. There was one old bastard who they called Horn Dog or hd for short. You know I hear that nasty fucker is still around all these years later. He must be about a thousand years old. He loved to grab you right in your sweet spot and your asshole. He called it his bowling grip. What a douche.
So we all go up this one weekend right after Thanksgiving. Nothing much gets done then so we were able to get off of the peep show gig for a couple of days and there was always a chance we could get a gig from one of the old guys who ran the shows on these TV stations. The Merry Mailman had a spread with a whole turkey and all the trimmings and lots and lots of booze. The whole crowd was there. Soupy Sales, Chuck McCann, Bozo the Clown, Sandy the Wonderama guy, lots of ad men and of course the Merry Mailman. We are all drinking and laughing and dancing to the victrola. I think the Watusi had just come out and Robin taught Chuck McCann all the moves while we all laughed and laughed. Then the Merry Mailman called for our attention.
“Hey calm down you guys. I want you to pay attention. My little girl is gonna sing a song and I want you all to listen.”
Out comes Joey from the bathroom and it was really weird. All she was wearing was the top half of the Merry Mailman costume. You know the white shirt and the tie and of course the Mailman’s hat. And stockings and high heels. But no panties. So she is strutting around the room singing and rubbing up against all of the guys and finally jumps up on this swing that was hanging from the ceiling. And she was moaning and gyrating the way she did in all of her songs. But the fucked thing was she was singing “My Heart Belongs to Daddy.” Well let me tell you the Merry Mailman was all red faced and kinda excited and stuff and I just didn’t know what the fuck was going on. Joey was writhing and moaning and swinging back and forth wilder and wilder….till finally she fell off and wiggled and crawled across the room…she dragged herself up the food table and ripped off a drumstick and then….well she started to rub the drumstick on her….and then she dipped it in cranberry sauce and stuck it up her......well lets just say it was quite a show.
After you spend a few thanksgiving weekends like that it is no big deal if the Governor of Florida lets his mother bathe him.
To bad W couldn’t have put that in his book.
Anywho the book is finally out and everybody is buying it up which is great for W’s morale. He was kinda of down because you see he hates to see what Barry is doing to the country but he has too much class to say anything about it. I mean he doesn’t want to do what that peanut dick Jimmy Carter has done to every President that followed him in office. You don’t comment on what somebody else is doing when you were President. That’s low class. Even Bubba kept his mouth shut by and large. So W was ecstatic to get out and about and talk to people instead of being stuck inside at the ranch eating pretzels and trying not to choke hisself.
It is really funny what the douchenozzle press is getting excited about. I mean there was a big controversy over W talking about the time he asked Joan Collins what sex was like for older women. Well that wasn’t actually what he said. He asked her if Anthony Newly could fit his entire Easter Island head up her cooze. But he cleaned it up for his memoirs. I mean that was why old Barb was pissed. She didn’t give a shit about the sex talk. She loved to talk about banging that nasty old hose bag. But she didn’t like W hitting on someone at her table in front of her. She always wanted everyone to think she was all that. I know! What a dope! But that’s how the old bat is you know.
And of course Barb has a very weird relationship with her sons. I mean she used to give Jeb a bath until he married the maid. I mean it is kinda weird how close the boys are to old Barb. W and Neil and Jeb are just way to close to the old bag. I mean they used to take a spritz in the steam room in the Naval Observatory naked all the time. It really freaked out the other girls especially Jeb’s wife Juanita who was all “Que passo con tu madre” and stuff. But I just laughed and shrugged my shoulders about it. Because I had seen a lot worse.
You see back when I was sharing an apartment with Robin Byrd and Joey Heatherton and Anita Gillette and boy oh boy where we were all really poor. So any chance we got to go to a party where there was free food and booze well we jumped right on that. And often on the old geezer who ran the party. The best parties were the ones that Joey’s Dad the Merry Mailman used to throw. I mean he would invite all the big wigs from WPIX and WOR and all the local channels to his house up in Nyack and there was always tons of free food and booze and stuff. It was a whole lot of fun right up until the time the guy from Wonderama got pinched for touching that kid in the playground. But hey that’s another story. We loved those parties because no body had to put out unless you wanted to which is always a bonus. Or at least we thought it was.
You see most of these guys were older. Old enough to be our father. After all the Merry Mailman was Joey’s father. So it was kinda nasty when the old lechers would grab at you and stuff. I mean you didn’t care about a little feel or cup here or there we were all used to that from the peep show world. But some of these old codgers were horny fucks. Especially the ones from the advertising agencies. There was one old bastard who they called Horn Dog or hd for short. You know I hear that nasty fucker is still around all these years later. He must be about a thousand years old. He loved to grab you right in your sweet spot and your asshole. He called it his bowling grip. What a douche.
So we all go up this one weekend right after Thanksgiving. Nothing much gets done then so we were able to get off of the peep show gig for a couple of days and there was always a chance we could get a gig from one of the old guys who ran the shows on these TV stations. The Merry Mailman had a spread with a whole turkey and all the trimmings and lots and lots of booze. The whole crowd was there. Soupy Sales, Chuck McCann, Bozo the Clown, Sandy the Wonderama guy, lots of ad men and of course the Merry Mailman. We are all drinking and laughing and dancing to the victrola. I think the Watusi had just come out and Robin taught Chuck McCann all the moves while we all laughed and laughed. Then the Merry Mailman called for our attention.
“Hey calm down you guys. I want you to pay attention. My little girl is gonna sing a song and I want you all to listen.”
Out comes Joey from the bathroom and it was really weird. All she was wearing was the top half of the Merry Mailman costume. You know the white shirt and the tie and of course the Mailman’s hat. And stockings and high heels. But no panties. So she is strutting around the room singing and rubbing up against all of the guys and finally jumps up on this swing that was hanging from the ceiling. And she was moaning and gyrating the way she did in all of her songs. But the fucked thing was she was singing “My Heart Belongs to Daddy.” Well let me tell you the Merry Mailman was all red faced and kinda excited and stuff and I just didn’t know what the fuck was going on. Joey was writhing and moaning and swinging back and forth wilder and wilder….till finally she fell off and wiggled and crawled across the room…she dragged herself up the food table and ripped off a drumstick and then….well she started to rub the drumstick on her….and then she dipped it in cranberry sauce and stuck it up her......well lets just say it was quite a show.
After you spend a few thanksgiving weekends like that it is no big deal if the Governor of Florida lets his mother bathe him.
To bad W couldn’t have put that in his book.
3 comments:
I miss the WPIX yule log.
I miss Joey.
Poor Ray. Although who knows what was going on inside his head.
Troop, you do care, you big lug. Christmas hugz to my naughty boy.
Well done MARY!
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