I never get to have any fun!

I have temporarily fixed my employee problem. We have a couple of African American employees. So I told the wife that I wanted to wear my white suit and my planters hat. I already have the goatee and the cane.

I can go the full Django.

Iron my shirts woman....

"What?"
"What do you mean you are not going to do it?"
"I know you work too. But that's woman's work."
"What?"
"Ok..Ok...yes dear... I know....No starch."

There is a reason why I don't have a radio show

Every night after we come home from the store we divide up the chores. The wife goes and sets up her computer and answers the emails and problems that we didn't have time to take care of during the day. She usually sets that upstairs in the office. I go down to the kitchen and cook dinner. Now I like to listen to the radio while I am cooking. Normally I put on WFAN to hear sports talk or I would put on the Yankees during the baseball season. But now they only have on fucking hockey and shit so I usually put on WABC which is the conservative talk radio station. So the other day Lisa came downstairs early and got to listen to Mark Levin in full rant.

She started laughing when Mark was describing Harry Reid getting up to speak in the Senate and looking for his teeth to put in while he spoke. She said "This is like listening to you." I said "I wouldn't last a day on the radio before the pussies that run it would fire me."

You see I was listening to WFAN the sports station and they had this jerk-off liberal cunt Richard Neer pontificating his politically correct bullshit. You had to listen to his nonsense about Richie Incognito and the gay football player. Now he is all over instant replay for baseball. Even worse today he was praising sabremetrics as determining how to play the game. What crock of shit. That is revenge of the fucking nerds. It is making the kids who were the managers of the high school team be in charge of evaluating talent instead of the kids who play and who know how to play. For all of the nonsense about Money Ball the fucking A's only won because they were juicing it up. How the fuck did they measure that in their fucking statistics.

What really cheeses me off is why doesn't anybody call these dumb fucks out on what they used to preach. Neer was a DJ on WNEW back in the day when it was the "progressive rock and roll" station that led the charge for "No Nukes." He lead the charge to get us to get rid of our nukes. How the fuck did that work out for the people in Eastern Europe when the Russian Bear is awake again and looking to eat. Don't you think that the Polacks and even the Germans might think that the American Nuclear umbrella and anti-ballistic missile defense might be a good idea. Why don't the no nukes fucks tell us what we are going to do when the towel heads and the Korean gooks and the commies in Venuzula get nukes? WHAT ABOUT THAT YOU FUCKIN' LIBERAL CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a reason why I don't have a radio show.

Did I ever tell you about the time.....

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to clog dancing class with Sinead O'Conner?

I hate Christmas shopping!

Luckily I don't have to do it anymore. With the internet we can get all the stuff on-line. The problem is what to get all the kids. We don't exchange gifts with the adults anymore which is just fine with me. I hate to get gifts. If I want something I go out and buy it for myself. Most of the time when you buy something for someone or they buy it for you there is a lot of disappointment since it isn't what was what people want. So it is better to just buy for the kids.

Which brings it's own set of problems. One kid is just too weird and the wife had no idea what to get. So I said "How about a Criminal Minds starter set. We could get them a toy white van, some duct tape."

She hit me with a frying pan.