When a ball player gets called up to the big leagues, he tells everyone he is getting called up to the "Show." Well I am getting called up to the show on Monday.
The Accessories Show.
Eight hours straight of picking out pocket books and hair clips and purses and chotzkies like that.
Yippieeeeeeeee!!!!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Manny goes to play for St. Joe
Well as Titus pointed out in a previous thread, the Saux did trade Manny for a bag of balls. I mean Jason Bey is and ok outfielder but Manny is a first ballot Hall of Famer. They could have come to an accommodation with him. But as Manny correctly pointed out, most of the Red Sox stars are trashed on their way out the door. Way to build a brand there guys. The guys that get traded from the Yankees just want to come back. Well most of the time. Every once in a while you get a dick like Gary Shefield but he isn't a True Yankee anyway. The Yankees used to do that in the old days with guys like Reggie and Winfield, but they are back in the fold now and come to old timers games or work for the team. You need to build your brand.
Bugging out.
New York Post Weird but True July 31, 2008
Boy, is this guy lucky karma didn't kick in.
An Australian exterminator's life was saved by bugs after he got lost in the outback for four days with no food or water.
He managed to survive by feasting on termites and other insects before he was found.
In a related story, a Mr. RH Hardin of Perverts Corner, Ohio fell in his barn and broke his leg. Mr. Hardin an noted hermit and crotchety old man, was not missed for three weeks. When rescue workers found him, they found that he had managed to survive by eating the chickens that had resided in the barn. Asked how he felt, he said "I am physically fine, but I am just said because now I won't have a date for New Year's Eve."
Boy, is this guy lucky karma didn't kick in.
An Australian exterminator's life was saved by bugs after he got lost in the outback for four days with no food or water.
He managed to survive by feasting on termites and other insects before he was found.
In a related story, a Mr. RH Hardin of Perverts Corner, Ohio fell in his barn and broke his leg. Mr. Hardin an noted hermit and crotchety old man, was not missed for three weeks. When rescue workers found him, they found that he had managed to survive by eating the chickens that had resided in the barn. Asked how he felt, he said "I am physically fine, but I am just said because now I won't have a date for New Year's Eve."
It looks like Manny is still a Red Sox.
It looks like Manny is still a Red Sox. Bummer. I was hoping he would go to the Marlins to screw the Mets and leave the Sox in the lurch. Well you can't have everything.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I hate lawyers.
I had to cut a big check to a lawyer today to do some trademark and copyright stuff for us. Man I hate lawyers. There were three mistakes in the engagement letter. If I had the time I would do it myself through Legal Zoom. I still might do some stuff through that if he keeps to the billing chart that was in the letter. Supposedly we are catching a break because it is the best friend of one of our close relatives. Let's see. We might have to go to the mattresses.
Pudge comes to town!
The Yankees pulled off another steal when they got Pudge Roriquez from the Tigers for Farnsworth. What a ripoff! Pudge is in the last of his contract so he will play his balls off. Plus he is on a team with a lot of stars and he can't dog it. A-Rod may be a dick but he plays hard. And Jeter will be on his case. So it all comes down to how he handles the pitchers. And if he freaks when Molina is Joba's personal catcher. Pudge can't handle a stud fastballer anymore so might get taken out for defensive purposes. And unlike Joe Torre, Giriadi won't care about Pudge's feelings. Joe will do what he has to do to win.
Now if the Red Sox will be stupid enough to trade Manny, we will be cooking with gas!
Now if the Red Sox will be stupid enough to trade Manny, we will be cooking with gas!
Lee Lee's site new and improved.
We have been working on the website for Lee Lee's valise and it is coming along pretty nicely. So check it out and leave your suggestions.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Reader_iam was not amused.
New York Post Weird but True July 29, 2008
Female partygoers at a bash in Germany erupted in cheers when men dressed as cops showed up at their door.
Problem was, they were real cops, acting on a neighbor's noise complaint - and not strippers believed to be coming to a 30th-birthday party.
"It was a bit funny for all sides," said a spokesman for police in Simmern.
Female partygoers at a bash in Germany erupted in cheers when men dressed as cops showed up at their door.
Problem was, they were real cops, acting on a neighbor's noise complaint - and not strippers believed to be coming to a 30th-birthday party.
"It was a bit funny for all sides," said a spokesman for police in Simmern.
Blake hates commercials!
Blake was discussing how he hates how loud the commercials are on TV as the movies and series seem muted and then the commercial is blasting. That is a real bummer and the only way to avoid it is to use the DVR to record stuff in advance and zip past the commercials. That's what we do. The only limit is the amount you can record, because you start staving stuff and you end up running out of space.
Titus is back on Althouse!
Welcome back to Althouse Titus. Great to read your stuff. It was getting really boring without your contribution. Good stuff today.
LA earthquake!
Hey Althouse is in LA and there is an earthquake. Pretty funny. Even more funny is how AJ's and I have minds that work the same way. The same filthy way. Hee hee.
Should we have a beach party this Friday?
I want to throw the annual beach party at the store this Saturday. Margarita's and chips and 10% off selected sun dresses. But I have to wait to hear from the big boss.
She is the boss of me.
She is the boss of me.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Blogging every day can be a chore.
You know it is tough to come up with topics to blog about every day. I don't want to do the usual political bullshit because you can find that everywhere. My politics are simple. If the Duke was for it, then it's good enough for me. But you get beat over the head with it by the uber nerds and the shouting douche bags on TV. Sometimes you just have to tune it out. Let's pick it up again after Labor Day.
Small set back for the Yankees
We only took two out of three in Boston this weekend, but that will have to do. With the two role players we got from the Pirates we are well on our way. Now we just have to get a starter for the back end of the rotation to eat up innings and we will be good to go for the pennant race.
Busy day today.
Hey it was a busy day today with lots to do. So not too much time to blog. I am trying to wrap up my clients so I can go full time into ladies bloomers. Wait that didn't come out right!
Well you know what I mean.
Well you know what I mean.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Wedding Follies
So we go to this wedding of a good friend on Saturday. She was married in my old parish church on Hicks St in a nice ceremony on a very hot day. The bride was half Irish and half Mexican and is from Texas. The groom is a Harry Potter nerd guy from upstate. They moved to Brooklyn and imported both families for the nuptials. Now they were infatuated with the guinea style of doing things so they wanted a Carroll Gardens wedding.
They did something I never saw before. They hired a Mexican Mariachi band that played in the back of the church. Then the band led a procession from the church to the catering hall. I asked the bride if all of the Mexican nannies and bus boys working in the neighborhood would follow the music and expect to be part of the party. She promptly hit me on the head with a water bottle. But she does that all the time.
Anyway we go upstairs for the cocktail hour. But there wasn't a cocktail hour. But there was an open bar. Now that's a lot of buts and let me tell you a lot of buts where hitting the floor as people got drunk without eating. Now it's not good for people who don't know how to drink to let loose in a party situation. I mean you probably see it all the time at your office Christmas party. The girl who gets blotto on two martinis. This woman at our table slugged down three apple martini's and promptly disappeared into the bathroom for the next hour. She was the mom of one of the girls in the bridal party and wasn't any sort of a drinker. So she didn't know her own limits. I kept asking her husband who was sitting at the table "Dude, don't you think you should check on your wife?" But he didn't care because the food was stating to come out. I finally got the bridesmaid to check on the mom and they got her to come out and sit down. She immediately demanded to go home. Which was great. I got to eat her entree. So in the end, it all worked out.
They did something I never saw before. They hired a Mexican Mariachi band that played in the back of the church. Then the band led a procession from the church to the catering hall. I asked the bride if all of the Mexican nannies and bus boys working in the neighborhood would follow the music and expect to be part of the party. She promptly hit me on the head with a water bottle. But she does that all the time.
Anyway we go upstairs for the cocktail hour. But there wasn't a cocktail hour. But there was an open bar. Now that's a lot of buts and let me tell you a lot of buts where hitting the floor as people got drunk without eating. Now it's not good for people who don't know how to drink to let loose in a party situation. I mean you probably see it all the time at your office Christmas party. The girl who gets blotto on two martinis. This woman at our table slugged down three apple martini's and promptly disappeared into the bathroom for the next hour. She was the mom of one of the girls in the bridal party and wasn't any sort of a drinker. So she didn't know her own limits. I kept asking her husband who was sitting at the table "Dude, don't you think you should check on your wife?" But he didn't care because the food was stating to come out. I finally got the bridesmaid to check on the mom and they got her to come out and sit down. She immediately demanded to go home. Which was great. I got to eat her entree. So in the end, it all worked out.
That's two
The Yankees won another in Fenway and are making a move. Andy pitched great and we whomped them 10 to 3 with a great performance by Andy Pettitte. They hit A-Rod but that's par for the course since Joba likes to buzz Youkalis. But now that Joe Giradi is the manager, we know that our pitchers will pitch inside and hit them if they have to send a message. No more St. Joe bullshit like when Torre was there and was more worried about his reputation and not protecting his ball players. Now it looks like Manny Rameriez wants out of Boston so things can only get better. Cool.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Small world department.
A girl is in the store now who is moving to Madison Wisconsin to go to school. I told her I knew someone else who left a great gig in Brooklyn to move to Cheese Land.
I guess it's catching.
I guess it's catching.
Blake blasts Batman's critics
Our good friend Blake blasts Batman's critics and the imbedding of liberal memes in cartoons in two great posts on his blog The Bit Maelstrom. He is one of the best movie critics I have seen. Although I don't always agree with his take, he is extremely well informed and always gives a cogent well thought out review of the latest flicks. Check it out.
Stuck in the store again.
I am doing the morning shift again this Saturday. But just for a while as we are going to a wedding this afternoon. So I have to get all my blogging in now because I will be too drunk to blog later.
Joba Rules baby, that's One.
Joba pitched a great game of seven innings of shut out ball. Mariano relieved and the Yanks took the first game from the Red Sox as we get ready to make our move. Plus we got Nady for the outfield and Marte for left handed relief. So the stars are getting aligned and we are ready to rock.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Yankees on a roll.
Well the Yankees are on a roll after sweeping the A's and the Twins. We are playing the dreaded Red Sox this weekend and we need to take out of three. Big Papi is back but Manny might be out.
The Yankees are also rumored to have traded for Xavier Nady and left-hander Damaso Marte from the Pirate. That will take care of two glaring weaknesses, outfield depth and left handed relief pitching.
Now if we can just squeeze out another starter from some where we will be on our way.
The Yankees are also rumored to have traded for Xavier Nady and left-hander Damaso Marte from the Pirate. That will take care of two glaring weaknesses, outfield depth and left handed relief pitching.
Now if we can just squeeze out another starter from some where we will be on our way.
We are up and running
Well the online business is up and running and we made some sales. So we are busy packing and checking our lists. We will add more stuff in the weeks to come. We did get a nasty e-mail from someone very early this morning who wanted to know how we got so much publicity with so few items on our site. She was indignant and nasty and couldn't understand why we were on the Today show. I wrote back that we are very picky in what we purchase and if you want hundreds of choices go to Lane Bryant or Target. We only have stuff we believe in the store and on line and those garments are hard to find.
I also quoted my friend Dan Dority of Deadwood who said "Breakfast is best time of the day to go fuck yourself."
I also quoted my friend Dan Dority of Deadwood who said "Breakfast is best time of the day to go fuck yourself."
You can't make an egg salad sandwich if you don't break some eggs!
New York Post Weird but True July 25, 2008
If you're betting on this, you know you have a gambling problem.
English betting house Paddy Power has set up a Web site with a live view of 10 eggs in an incubator and is taking wagers on which one will hatch first.
Bettors "simply put their money down and let nature take its course," a company spokesman said.
The eggs were originally scheduled to be shipped to Madison Wisconsin to be used in the settlement of a wager, but that fell through when one of the principals decided to go to the coast instead of eating an egg salad sandwich.
The eggs were then scheduled to be shipped to Perverts Corner, Ohio but that was blocked when the ATF found strange pictures of immature chickens performing sex acts on a local photographers computer.
Thus the eggs were available for this wager.
If you're betting on this, you know you have a gambling problem.
English betting house Paddy Power has set up a Web site with a live view of 10 eggs in an incubator and is taking wagers on which one will hatch first.
Bettors "simply put their money down and let nature take its course," a company spokesman said.
The eggs were originally scheduled to be shipped to Madison Wisconsin to be used in the settlement of a wager, but that fell through when one of the principals decided to go to the coast instead of eating an egg salad sandwich.
The eggs were then scheduled to be shipped to Perverts Corner, Ohio but that was blocked when the ATF found strange pictures of immature chickens performing sex acts on a local photographers computer.
Thus the eggs were available for this wager.
Frenchy Fuqua is back!
New York Post Werid but True July 25, 2008
Oh, the humanity!
Chinese scientists are appalled at a new fad among girls - wearing live fish encased in sealed plastic containers.
Vendors claim the fish can survive three months in the little box, which contains food and - surprise! - water, but experts say it's cruel and should be banned.
Asked why they did this, the girls replied that they were disciples of Frenchy Fuqua the famed running back of the Pittsburgh Steelers who wore eight inch glasses heels with gold fish in it.
One of the girls, Some Yun Cunt said "We love Frenchy. In fact we love the seventies soul style. That's why we were hot pants and halters and let our boy friends turn us out."
Oh, the humanity!
Chinese scientists are appalled at a new fad among girls - wearing live fish encased in sealed plastic containers.
Vendors claim the fish can survive three months in the little box, which contains food and - surprise! - water, but experts say it's cruel and should be banned.
Asked why they did this, the girls replied that they were disciples of Frenchy Fuqua the famed running back of the Pittsburgh Steelers who wore eight inch glasses heels with gold fish in it.
One of the girls, Some Yun Cunt said "We love Frenchy. In fact we love the seventies soul style. That's why we were hot pants and halters and let our boy friends turn us out."
Thursday, July 24, 2008
I have a lot of resumes to review.
I got about fifty resumes to review to hire new help for the on-line shop. That's gonna take a lot of work.
Not only homeless guys have shopping carts.
I am having a big problem with the shopping cart on the site. It is not picking up the shipping and handling amount when computing the charge on the card. That's not good. The cost of shipping is prohibitive especailly if you have a high return ration. It has been a bitch to correct, and I hope we can get it right soon.
Titus has to come work in the store.
I know Titus has taken some time off, so I think the perfect therapy for him is to come use his sense of style to help my girls pick out clothes. He could be like that Carson Kressly guy. Maybe I can even get him his own show!
We had over 40,000 hits in six hours
The Today show spot went great. Stacy was very generous in getting our name out there and pumping up the store. She used her friend and our good customer Tracy as the model of the plus size dress. She wore a tropical halter top from Donna Ricco which is the company that got famous for provided a dress for Michelle Obama to wear on the View. We have already had several orders for the dress which my wife is featuring as an "outfit" with matching earnings and clutch bag.
We did have a lot of issuses with the site which crashed a couple of times. Slowly but surely we are working out the bugs. I will have a bunch of stuff to ship out on Saturday. But hey, that's good.
We did have a lot of issuses with the site which crashed a couple of times. Slowly but surely we are working out the bugs. I will have a bunch of stuff to ship out on Saturday. But hey, that's good.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Some times you get stuck.
Well I have been up for 48 hours straight writing copy for the web site and I think it has started to effect my good humor. I seem to be communicating in ad speak. Weird.
It's a Buyer's Market.
The post for the job on craig's list has been up for twenty minutes and I have fourteen resumes.
Not one of which mention Great Adventure.
Not one of which mention Great Adventure.
Employees suck Department.
So I have this girl that we have been helping out by giving her hours in the store. She originally was just picking up a day every other weekend because she liked fashion and wanted some extra cash. But then about two months ago she got laid off of her regular job and I increased her hours so she could have some more cash while she looked for work as an administrative assistant. She was picking up three or four or five days a week while we accommodated her job search activities.
Anyway we have to go to a wedding on Saturday and two weeks ago she tells us she can't work that they because she is going to her friends annual outing to Great Adventure. Excuse me. I mean FUCKING GREAT ADVENTURE! But I swallowed that and struggled to get someone to cover because you know it's the summer and people need a break and all that happy horseshit. But today she comes in and says "see you next week." "What, what about Friday. We are going on-line and might have a lot of stuff to do on Friday." "OH I told you about this didn't I? I mean I know I told you." "No you didn't. I mean it was bad enough you are taking off on a day I really need you to go TO FUCKING GREAT ADVENTURE WHEN YOU DON"T HAVE A FUCKING JOB AND I AM GIVING YOU EXTRA HOURS WHEN I DON'T REALLY NEED YOU BUT I WANT HELP YOU OUT YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT...but now you ain't coming in on Thursday or Friday either. What the Fuck?" "Well you see I made plans and I can't really change them, I am sorry if I forgot to tell you." "Well everybody got's to do what they got's to do. If doing whatever it is you got to do on Friday is more important than coming in on Friday than I guess you got to do what you got to do." .....Crickets chirping....looking down at the floor....more crickets chirping...no explanation..."Well I guess you got to do what you got to do. Bye." She leaves and I come to find out that she has to go to airport to pick up someone who is coming in from Ireland. Not a relative or anything, just a friend who could of course TAKE A FUCKING CAB. So there is only one answer to this.
Craig's list.
Anyway we have to go to a wedding on Saturday and two weeks ago she tells us she can't work that they because she is going to her friends annual outing to Great Adventure. Excuse me. I mean FUCKING GREAT ADVENTURE! But I swallowed that and struggled to get someone to cover because you know it's the summer and people need a break and all that happy horseshit. But today she comes in and says "see you next week." "What, what about Friday. We are going on-line and might have a lot of stuff to do on Friday." "OH I told you about this didn't I? I mean I know I told you." "No you didn't. I mean it was bad enough you are taking off on a day I really need you to go TO FUCKING GREAT ADVENTURE WHEN YOU DON"T HAVE A FUCKING JOB AND I AM GIVING YOU EXTRA HOURS WHEN I DON'T REALLY NEED YOU BUT I WANT HELP YOU OUT YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT...but now you ain't coming in on Thursday or Friday either. What the Fuck?" "Well you see I made plans and I can't really change them, I am sorry if I forgot to tell you." "Well everybody got's to do what they got's to do. If doing whatever it is you got to do on Friday is more important than coming in on Friday than I guess you got to do what you got to do." .....Crickets chirping....looking down at the floor....more crickets chirping...no explanation..."Well I guess you got to do what you got to do. Bye." She leaves and I come to find out that she has to go to airport to pick up someone who is coming in from Ireland. Not a relative or anything, just a friend who could of course TAKE A FUCKING CAB. So there is only one answer to this.
Craig's list.
The style racket is pretty tough!
The photo shot today was exhausting. The girls had to change their outfits including shoes and accessories. My wife is a perfectionist so it took a while to get the right "look." So we were there for a while.
One of the innovations we plan to offer is to sell a "look." A customer will often point to an outfit on a mannequin as say "I want that exact look." They buy it right down to the flip flops and bag. So we are putting together "looks" that you can get ready made to take the decision making out of your hands. I don't know if you noticed this but a lot of people like to let other people make their decision's for them.
One of the innovations we plan to offer is to sell a "look." A customer will often point to an outfit on a mannequin as say "I want that exact look." They buy it right down to the flip flops and bag. So we are putting together "looks" that you can get ready made to take the decision making out of your hands. I don't know if you noticed this but a lot of people like to let other people make their decision's for them.
Hey it's the only way to play the game.
New York Post Weird but True July 23, 2008
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire.
Two practical jokers in San Luis Obispo, Calif., decided to mess with their passed-out drinking buddy by setting his crotch on fire. The man suffered second-degree burns to his testicles.
The victim, a Mr. Billy Beane of Oakland California said that it wasn't all that serious. "I believe in playing small ball," said the diminutive ashtray "so it's not all that big a deal." Mr Beane was formerly famous for building his team around the concept of "small ball" which consisted of signing sluggers whose testicles had atrophied because of steroid use.
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire.
Two practical jokers in San Luis Obispo, Calif., decided to mess with their passed-out drinking buddy by setting his crotch on fire. The man suffered second-degree burns to his testicles.
The victim, a Mr. Billy Beane of Oakland California said that it wasn't all that serious. "I believe in playing small ball," said the diminutive ashtray "so it's not all that big a deal." Mr Beane was formerly famous for building his team around the concept of "small ball" which consisted of signing sluggers whose testicles had atrophied because of steroid use.
John C Calhoun is turning over in his grave.
New York Post July 23, 2008
BARBARA Walters must miss the days of Star Jones and Rosie O'Donnell. The latest embarrassment on "The View," Sherri Shepherd, who once said she thinks the world is flat, tells Christian magazine Precious Times about her past: "I was sleeping with a lot of guys and had more abortions than I would like to count." Shepherd, a born-again Christian, also thinks Walters, who is Jewish, needs saving. "Oh, sometimes I say, 'Lord, [evangelists] Juanita Bynum or Joyce Meyer would be so good at this table. They could lay hands on Barbara and get her saved.' "
The last person to lay hands on Barbara Walters was Senator John C. Calhoun in his freshman stint as Senator from South Carolina. As recently outlined in her autobiography, Miss Walters admitted the affair with a senator who changed her views on an important social issue.
Now Miss Walters only hires Filipinos.
BARBARA Walters must miss the days of Star Jones and Rosie O'Donnell. The latest embarrassment on "The View," Sherri Shepherd, who once said she thinks the world is flat, tells Christian magazine Precious Times about her past: "I was sleeping with a lot of guys and had more abortions than I would like to count." Shepherd, a born-again Christian, also thinks Walters, who is Jewish, needs saving. "Oh, sometimes I say, 'Lord, [evangelists] Juanita Bynum or Joyce Meyer would be so good at this table. They could lay hands on Barbara and get her saved.' "
The last person to lay hands on Barbara Walters was Senator John C. Calhoun in his freshman stint as Senator from South Carolina. As recently outlined in her autobiography, Miss Walters admitted the affair with a senator who changed her views on an important social issue.
Now Miss Walters only hires Filipinos.
The photo shoot is over.
We just finished a photo shoot for the web site. We went to a neighborhood photographer. His father did my Communion picture. I really didn't have time to get any models, so my wife and one of our good friends were the models. That's a policy I want to follow. Using regular people instead of "professional models." The shoot went very well but it was exhausting. Now we have to pick the photos out and download them onto the site. Luckily I don't do the computer nerd thing. I was just up writing the copy and company policies and what not. I wrote what seems like a thousand words, and I didn't get to mention the Yankees, Giants or westerns even once.
Did I tell you lately that the Giants won the Super Bowl.
Did I tell you lately that the Giants won the Super Bowl.
Pulling an all-nighter.
Well the wife and I pulled an allnighter last night as we were setting up the web site. The ecommerce stuff is a bitch. Anyway it's all hands on deck tomorrow after the Today show.
But by beginning up all night, I was posting snark at 4 in the morning. Just so you know, I have a life, it's just real busy so snarking on the internet lets me blow off steam.
By the way all my regular commenters are entitled to special discounts. So if you see anything that grabs you, email me direct at trooperyork@gmail.com.
But by beginning up all night, I was posting snark at 4 in the morning. Just so you know, I have a life, it's just real busy so snarking on the internet lets me blow off steam.
By the way all my regular commenters are entitled to special discounts. So if you see anything that grabs you, email me direct at trooperyork@gmail.com.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
We will be on the Today Show on Thursday July 24, 2008 at 8am or so.
Well it is confirmed that our friend Stacy London will be mentioning our store Lee Lee's Valise on Thursday on NBC's Today show in the eight o'clock hour. They will be having a segment on clothing and we will be mentioned as an outfit from our store will be displayed. They will also pump our website at leeleesvalise.com which will be up and running for Internet sales. It was a pain in the ass to make that happen so fast and I am sure that there will be some bugs in it but we are giving it a shot.
Check it out. The new site should be up on Wednesday night. Cross your fingers.
Check it out. The new site should be up on Wednesday night. Cross your fingers.
Speed Racer, he's a demon on wheels!
New York Post Weird but True July 22, 2008
Ready! Set! Escargot!
A group of people with a lot of free time on their hands held the World Snail Racing Championships in England over the weekend.
More than 100 "world class athletes" took part in the 33-centimeter sprint. The winning snail, Heikka, named after Formula One driver Heikka Kovalainen, clocked in at 3 minutes and 2 seconds.
It was later determined to be fraud, since it is well known that the snail from Kenya is actually the world fastest.
The only recorded pest who was slower was of course RH Hardin when reaching for his wallet when presented with the check.
Ready! Set! Escargot!
A group of people with a lot of free time on their hands held the World Snail Racing Championships in England over the weekend.
More than 100 "world class athletes" took part in the 33-centimeter sprint. The winning snail, Heikka, named after Formula One driver Heikka Kovalainen, clocked in at 3 minutes and 2 seconds.
It was later determined to be fraud, since it is well known that the snail from Kenya is actually the world fastest.
The only recorded pest who was slower was of course RH Hardin when reaching for his wallet when presented with the check.
Nobody loves me but me and my monkey.
New York Post Weird but True July 22, 2008
A Springfield, Mass., woman is suing her local health department, Wal-Mart and a medical-training firm over a refusal to classify her monkey as a "service animal" who helps her cope with an anxiety disorder.
Debby Rose said Wal-Mart has discriminated against her by not letting her in the store with a bonnet macaque named Richard, who likewise is barred from being with her during nursing classes.
It was later determined that the monkey was in fact her son Doyle, who was banned from several establishments for flinging excrement at the proprietor.
A Springfield, Mass., woman is suing her local health department, Wal-Mart and a medical-training firm over a refusal to classify her monkey as a "service animal" who helps her cope with an anxiety disorder.
Debby Rose said Wal-Mart has discriminated against her by not letting her in the store with a bonnet macaque named Richard, who likewise is barred from being with her during nursing classes.
It was later determined that the monkey was in fact her son Doyle, who was banned from several establishments for flinging excrement at the proprietor.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Hey I have been watching Emergency!
Haven't posted all that much as I have been using my free time to watch Emergency with Julie London all day.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Holy Crap you can watch Emergancy on your computer! And Night Gallery Too! Wooooo Hoooooooo
Hey I was just noodling around on NBC.com and they have this vintage section where you can watch whole episodes of old NBC shows. And they have Emergency with Johnny Gage and Roy DeSoto as your paramedics. And the one, the only, Julie London as Nurse Dixie McCall at the radio. Ohhhh Baaaabbbyyyy. Smokey voiced Julie bent over the radio console in her tight white dress with her little nurses cap. Ringers Lack tape. Ohhhh babbbbyyyyyyy.
And they have the Night Gallery too from Rod Serling. Holy crapola how cool is that.
And they have the Night Gallery too from Rod Serling. Holy crapola how cool is that.
Hey I always said Euro's were crap!
New York Post Weird but True, July 20, 2008
A Dutch woman on the toilet accidentally flushed away $1,426 in euros when it fell from her pocket.
"At first my colleagues were dumbfounded, but the woman was in such a panic that they believed her," said a sewage department spokeswoman.
The woman dried the nine 100 euro bills on a clothesline after they were fished out of the system.
Hey those Europeans are just full of crap.
A Dutch woman on the toilet accidentally flushed away $1,426 in euros when it fell from her pocket.
"At first my colleagues were dumbfounded, but the woman was in such a panic that they believed her," said a sewage department spokeswoman.
The woman dried the nine 100 euro bills on a clothesline after they were fished out of the system.
Hey those Europeans are just full of crap.
British People suck Dept.
New York Post Page Six July 20, 2008
Ricky Gervais has had it with online idiocy, reports The Post's Mandy Stadtmiller. At Madison Square Garden's packed show at the WaMu Theater the other night, he joked: "The Internet must be the greatest resource of information the world has ever seen. And the online encyclopedias that you can change? You can't do that in a library, can you? There's all those Web sites as well, it's clogged up with Web sites, Web sites about themselves. 'My name is Rupert, this is my cat, I love The Cure, good night.' What the [bleep] - who cares?"
Nobody is more pretentious than second rate comedians who think their shit don't stink. Except of course for English people. Fuck off you limey fuck.
Ricky Gervais has had it with online idiocy, reports The Post's Mandy Stadtmiller. At Madison Square Garden's packed show at the WaMu Theater the other night, he joked: "The Internet must be the greatest resource of information the world has ever seen. And the online encyclopedias that you can change? You can't do that in a library, can you? There's all those Web sites as well, it's clogged up with Web sites, Web sites about themselves. 'My name is Rupert, this is my cat, I love The Cure, good night.' What the [bleep] - who cares?"
Nobody is more pretentious than second rate comedians who think their shit don't stink. Except of course for English people. Fuck off you limey fuck.
Back at same pop stand.
Well I did the whole day in the store yesterday as the wife got stuck. One of her realtives took sick and she had to go to the hospital with her till around two in the morning. So she's sleeping in again and I am back on the poop deck.
So this girl comes in and I know she is not going to buy anything but she is parading around making comments. I am not in the fucking mood.
So this girl comes in and I know she is not going to buy anything but she is parading around making comments. I am not in the fucking mood.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Joba Rules!
New York Post Page Six July 19, 2008
YANKEES pitching ace Joba Chamberlain has been letting loose lately. A few nights back, he was spotted at the MLB.com 33 Club party, where "He climbed onto Alyssa Milano's table and starting dancing," said our witness. "He stayed in the VIP room until 3 a.m." After Tuesday night's All-Star Game, a super-friendly Chamberlain pulled up to Hudson Terrace in a white stretch limo, where he happily signed autographs and posed for pictures with fans.
Joba rules. He might give Derek a run for his money. Hopefully he will tone it down after a while, but he has his wild oats to spread. Since everyone in the major leagues has spread his oats over Alyssa Milano, that's a good place to stop.
YANKEES pitching ace Joba Chamberlain has been letting loose lately. A few nights back, he was spotted at the MLB.com 33 Club party, where "He climbed onto Alyssa Milano's table and starting dancing," said our witness. "He stayed in the VIP room until 3 a.m." After Tuesday night's All-Star Game, a super-friendly Chamberlain pulled up to Hudson Terrace in a white stretch limo, where he happily signed autographs and posed for pictures with fans.
Joba rules. He might give Derek a run for his money. Hopefully he will tone it down after a while, but he has his wild oats to spread. Since everyone in the major leagues has spread his oats over Alyssa Milano, that's a good place to stop.
That's why everyone is a Hulkamaniac
New York Post Page Six July 19, 2008
BROOKE Hogan says there's nothing weird about recent photos of her dad, Hulk, rubbing suntan lotion on her backside. "I am not wearing a thong. I just hiked my bathing suit up so I could get just the butt cheeks of my bathing suit tan," she said during a taping of "The Wendy Williams Show" this week. "I was lazy and I was tired and I just rolled over and was like, 'Dad, will you please put lotion on my back.' Jeez, he changed like my diaper and stuff. Seriously."
When questioned as to why the Hulk was rubbing his penis between her breasts, Brooke said "Hey I was out of Face Creame." "Plus I finally got rid of mom and my brother is in prison. We're from Florida, get over it."
BROOKE Hogan says there's nothing weird about recent photos of her dad, Hulk, rubbing suntan lotion on her backside. "I am not wearing a thong. I just hiked my bathing suit up so I could get just the butt cheeks of my bathing suit tan," she said during a taping of "The Wendy Williams Show" this week. "I was lazy and I was tired and I just rolled over and was like, 'Dad, will you please put lotion on my back.' Jeez, he changed like my diaper and stuff. Seriously."
When questioned as to why the Hulk was rubbing his penis between her breasts, Brooke said "Hey I was out of Face Creame." "Plus I finally got rid of mom and my brother is in prison. We're from Florida, get over it."
Luckiest guy on the face of the earth!
New York Post Page Six June 19, 2008
STEVEN Klein's Italian Vogue shoot with London blueblood Daphne Guinness on a Sands Point estate last week was even hotter than we expected. We've seen some outtakes in which Guinness sets a model on fire, is surrounded by models wearing gas masks and is portrayed as the ultimate S&M warrior. But it's what happened off screen that's really hot. Guinness was apparently taken with the estate manager's son, hunky Kenny Goodwin Jr., 21. "She couldn't take her eyes off him," our spy said. Klein had him and his dog pose in the shoot with Guinness, much to her delight. Meanwhile, we hear L'uomo Vogue is trying to keep up with its buzz-worthy sister by doing a presidential-esque shoot with Sean Combs as Barack Obama. "He is sitting in the Oval Office, running for president and making campaign stops," our insider said. "All in high fashion, of course."
Dude, she owns Guinness man. Are you kidding me or what? How lucky is this guy.
STEVEN Klein's Italian Vogue shoot with London blueblood Daphne Guinness on a Sands Point estate last week was even hotter than we expected. We've seen some outtakes in which Guinness sets a model on fire, is surrounded by models wearing gas masks and is portrayed as the ultimate S&M warrior. But it's what happened off screen that's really hot. Guinness was apparently taken with the estate manager's son, hunky Kenny Goodwin Jr., 21. "She couldn't take her eyes off him," our spy said. Klein had him and his dog pose in the shoot with Guinness, much to her delight. Meanwhile, we hear L'uomo Vogue is trying to keep up with its buzz-worthy sister by doing a presidential-esque shoot with Sean Combs as Barack Obama. "He is sitting in the Oval Office, running for president and making campaign stops," our insider said. "All in high fashion, of course."
Dude, she owns Guinness man. Are you kidding me or what? How lucky is this guy.
Now that's cool!
New York Post Page Six July 19, 2008
The Mummy's scary, but no match for the censor. Director Rob Cohen reluctantly had to trim some bloody footage from "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" to get a PG-13 rating, reports Ain't It Cool News. In an early cut of the fright flick, which stars Brendan Fraser and opens Aug. 1, Cohen showed a man getting drawn and quartered by horses, and "you actually saw the limbs come loose and bounce away along the dirt," the blog says. That shot is now history. "Cohen was irritated . . . but he was also well aware that the eventual DVD release will feature any footage he has to lose."
Wow how cool is that shit. Man, don't tell Mel Gibson. He wants to push the envelope in tourture porn. I can't wait to see what he comes up with.
The Mummy's scary, but no match for the censor. Director Rob Cohen reluctantly had to trim some bloody footage from "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" to get a PG-13 rating, reports Ain't It Cool News. In an early cut of the fright flick, which stars Brendan Fraser and opens Aug. 1, Cohen showed a man getting drawn and quartered by horses, and "you actually saw the limbs come loose and bounce away along the dirt," the blog says. That shot is now history. "Cohen was irritated . . . but he was also well aware that the eventual DVD release will feature any footage he has to lose."
Wow how cool is that shit. Man, don't tell Mel Gibson. He wants to push the envelope in tourture porn. I can't wait to see what he comes up with.
Hey Cyrus the Twins will be in town.
Hey Cyrus, the Twins are playing the Yankees starting on Monday. Time for a little wager don't ya think?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITUS!
Happy birthday to our good friend Titus who is celebrating his birthday today. I know he might be legal but most of things he will want to do on his birthday won't be. Anyway heres hoping he has a happy and a healthy birthday and a prosperous year.
Saturday moring in the park..what oh in the store ahhhhhh crap.
Well the store is all cleaned up and opened and ready to go. The wife is off to a baby shower on Staten Island so I have the poop deck today for most of the busy time. I have to get pooping.
Friday, July 18, 2008
I used to play with Models now I have to hire them.
When I was a kid I was always making those plastic models. You know the one of the fighter planes or the aircraft carriers or whatever. Then when I was in my late teens I really got into the hobby and did some wooden sailing ships that were a lot of fun. But it took a lot of patience. And I admit the glue was fun too.
But now I have to hire models to pose in our clothes for the website. Not my cup of tea. They are all too needy and crazy. I think we are just going to go with regular people. Customers in the store. That way people will see what the stuff looks like on normal people.
But now I have to hire models to pose in our clothes for the website. Not my cup of tea. They are all too needy and crazy. I think we are just going to go with regular people. Customers in the store. That way people will see what the stuff looks like on normal people.
Welcome back Titus!
Hey Titus is back posting after a little holiday in P-town and the cape. It's great to hear from him. He has been missed. A blog is just not fabulous if Titus isn't around. Hope his search for hog has found him happy and healthy.
I will be doing a double this weekend.
Well the wife is off to a baby shower this Saturday and I will be running the store all day Saturday so that should be interesting. Plus we have to see if we can do some photo's for the website which will be up this weekend. The shopping cart looks great.
The Yanks get Sexson.
Well I predicted that the Yankees wouldn't get Sexson and once again I was wrong. He is going to be a back up bat off the bench. But who knows, it might help.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Visiting other people's blogs.
I like to visit other peoples blogs and drop a comment or two. I went to a famous one today and it was a kind of disappointing experience. Everyone was kind of humorless and serious. I don't get it. You couldn't even get a little flame war started cause they were too lame to snark back effectively. I guess I have to watch were I go.
The New Web site.
The new web site for the store is in the works and should be up soon. It will be a vast improvement and will have some on-line shopping. I hope it hits the ground running.
Uh oh, another TV show.
Well we got contacted by someone who is working with the plus girl who just won America's top model. They might want to film in the store. That might be cool. Hopefully we can get a bump from that.
We also got a nice review in the forums at Television without Pity where they were discussing What Not to Wear. One of the girls who came because of the shoe wrote a very nice post about all the fun she had. That is very satisfying.
No if only the wife wouldn't yell at me because I didn't get the Spanks order in on time.
We also got a nice review in the forums at Television without Pity where they were discussing What Not to Wear. One of the girls who came because of the shoe wrote a very nice post about all the fun she had. That is very satisfying.
No if only the wife wouldn't yell at me because I didn't get the Spanks order in on time.
Did you ever tell a joke that falls flat?
Did you ever go over some one's house and start to tell a joke or two and it falls flat. You look around and all you see is bunch of nerdy guys who want to play chess or talk about chess or something. They won't joke back or riff off of what you are saying. They just push back their glasses to the bridge of their nose and tell you that they don't think that what you have to say is appropriate and do you have something useful to say. That is no fun.
Hey maybe they can put in a time clock?
Our favorite moron, Bud Selig has announced that baseball is going to make use of instant replay for certain calls. This is just the latest example of sabrematrics and statistic coming in to destroy our game. THIS ISN'T FUCKING FOOTBALL. The umpire makes a call, you yell and scream, kick dirt on him, get thrown out of the game, and argue about it for the next thirty years. You don't go to the video tape. Soon they will put a time clock in and have a home derby to close out tie games. What a bunch of douches.
Doesn't anybody love this game?
Doesn't anybody love this game?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
We are still turning the store over.
The girls are still working on changing the store back to summer. But this concludes our simublogging of the What Not to Wear episode. The Yankees thank you for coming and arrive home safely. Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses.
Why Bill James ruined baseball.
Do you know who Bill James is? He was one of the first baseball sabremathicians who quantified stats in baseball using computer models. His baseball abstract was required reading when it first came out. I must admit I enjoyed it. Not the math, that was a lot of bullshit. But the rankings and snark about the players. Sometimes I pull those old books out and read the player rankings and little blurbs. That's a lot of fun. But the whole science of stats is so overblown it's not funny. It's an example of creeping La Russaism in which everything is done based on a computer model. That's why pitchers only pitch five fucking innings and are given a quality start. What a lot of bullshit! Take two and hit to left. It's a round ball and a round bat and you have to hit it square. Stick him in the ear. Pitch to him but don't give him anything to hit. Play baseball for Christ sake. Leave the math to those nerdy accountants. Jeeez.
Should we leave the fall stuff out or what? What Not to Sell.
I told the wife that as soon as the show was over, I wanted to put the fall stuff away because I didn't want to start selling the premium Anna Scholz stuff we got before the season. I am actually going to bring the stuff to my house because I know my wife is going to start showing the stuff and selling it out in dribs and drabs. But all of our biggest customers are away for the summer and I want them to get this stuff fresh and not after it's been picked over for the rest of the summer. Plus it's July for crying out loud. I don't want to start selling the snake skin trench coat no matter how hot it is and how many people want it. Jeeeez.
Talking Baseball.
Well the second half is going to start and the Yankees will have to pull out of the much they are in and start winning if they want to make the playoffs. I think the young guys will start to come back and we might make a few judicious trades to help the offense. We have to get rid of the dead weight of Matsui and Damon and Giambi and get some good young talent. Now is the time to make some moves. But I don't know. We might fight out alnog these lines all summer.
Hey it looks like Marbury is a goner.
Hey the Knicks signed this guy Anthony Roberson who played the point last night in the first summer league game. He did a great job. I think that will put them over the limit for guarantied contracts. So either Marbury or Jerome James has to go. Or they could make a trade. But I think they might tank the season to try to get a lottery pick. Plus the Italian kid they drafted is out for the rest of the summer league because of a sore back. Things just keep getting better and better for the Knickerbockers.
Well the show is over, move along now!
Well the show is over and everybody went home. But my wife made a big mistake. The wife of the guy who owns the bodega next door asked if her kids could take a picture with Stacy and Clinton. But the wife didn't want to bother them because they were pretty exhausted after the shoot. I was in the back and didn't know anything about it. I know they would have been happy to take the picture. Plus I don't want Nelson to be pissed at me. I don't want any thing extra on my bagel in the morning. So I went over and applogized and told him I would make it happen the next time they are in the store. Jeeeez Lousie. I think I dodged a bullet on that one.
Oops, we have a stalker.
So this tall blonde girl comes in the store and starts chatting with one of the crew guys. We thought she knew them. She took a photo and kept trying to get closer to Stacy and Clinton. When I asked the guy who she was, he said he had no idea. She had just started talking to him while he was on the street getting something from the van and followed him in to try and get to talk to them. So I had to bounce her out of the store.
But that's not the funny thing. One of the girls on the crew said something that made me pee my pants. She goes "Well she might be a stalker but at least she's not as weird as that blonde that was here the last time we shot in the store."
If you can figure that one out, you know that it is really, really funny.
But that's not the funny thing. One of the girls on the crew said something that made me pee my pants. She goes "Well she might be a stalker but at least she's not as weird as that blonde that was here the last time we shot in the store."
If you can figure that one out, you know that it is really, really funny.
It looks like another good thing.
We are in line to have another big thing happen on TV next week. But I am Italian so I don't talk about it until it happens. But stay tuned.
That's a wrap.
Well it's about 2pm and they wrapped the shoot. It went well. I don't know how it will come out because I didn't get to talk to the subject. Usually I get to meet them and get a feel as to how it is going to go. But it was only me and the wife in the store today so I stayed in the back and she was up front. Now the girls are in and we will have to change the store over back to summer. The fall stuff has to go away and the bathing suits and hats and sundresses have to go back on the mannequins. I have to get ready for my annual beach party. Time to warm up the margarita machine. I still have a bunch of those little umbrellas left over from last year.
I am just not a good editor.
I have to edit myself when I am dealing with people in the store. I can't be myself because I want to smack the shit out of some of these people who makes smart ass remarks. When I was a kid coming up you had to watch your mouth if you didn't want to get your ass kicked. Some of these hipster doufus assholes don't realize that. Plus when you have customers, you kinda have to swallow some shit. But not too much. You have to keep you self respect. I have a lot less patience than my wife. Well that's not true. I have no problem telling people "That's enough, there's the fucking door don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out."
The show so far.
It's pretty tough to hear people make fun of some of the stuff in the store and not respond. Not every garment is for everyone. Some styles are acquired tastes but you have to have them if you want to be a full service boutique. Most people have no regard as to what it takes to run a store. But you can't educate them. Like the Mayor of Detroit said about Jesse Jackson: "The only fuckin' thing you ever ran is your mouth."
There's always one.
There is one and only one member of the What Not to Wear Crew that I just can't stand. It's real tough to be nice to someone when you just want to take a bat and beat them to a pulp. But that's what being an adult is all about.
But man I would love to beat 'em down to a fucking pulp.
But man I would love to beat 'em down to a fucking pulp.
Susan and Tim never disappoint you!
New York Post Page Six July 16, 2008
TIM Robbins' and Susan Sarandon's mission to protect the poor and needy doesn't apply to their Greenwich Village neighborhood. The Oscar-winning liberals recently attended a Landmarks Preservation Commission hearing to oppose St. Vincent's plea to build a new, larger hospital on West 12th Street, three blocks from their home. This despite their support of causes like UNICEF and Champions for Children. "The hospital provides $40 million in care to the indigent every year," one proponent told us. "Robbins dismissed more than 100 people rallying in support of the hospital - low-income, union workers and veterans of the AIDS crisis - as 'those people out there.' " Sarandon said in a statement: "Improving the hospital is a great idea. However, this can be accomplished without compromising the neighborhood. St. Vincent's should consider the proposed alternative solutions." Robbins declined to comment.
Now of course this is you typical big time liberal. Just like the windmills in Teddys Backyard and every other commie douche bag who is always ready to tell you to do but doesn't want to deal with this in their neighborhood. So lets have the poor homeless guys camp out on their doorstep. Let them piss and shit in their front yard. That will work.
TIM Robbins' and Susan Sarandon's mission to protect the poor and needy doesn't apply to their Greenwich Village neighborhood. The Oscar-winning liberals recently attended a Landmarks Preservation Commission hearing to oppose St. Vincent's plea to build a new, larger hospital on West 12th Street, three blocks from their home. This despite their support of causes like UNICEF and Champions for Children. "The hospital provides $40 million in care to the indigent every year," one proponent told us. "Robbins dismissed more than 100 people rallying in support of the hospital - low-income, union workers and veterans of the AIDS crisis - as 'those people out there.' " Sarandon said in a statement: "Improving the hospital is a great idea. However, this can be accomplished without compromising the neighborhood. St. Vincent's should consider the proposed alternative solutions." Robbins declined to comment.
Now of course this is you typical big time liberal. Just like the windmills in Teddys Backyard and every other commie douche bag who is always ready to tell you to do but doesn't want to deal with this in their neighborhood. So lets have the poor homeless guys camp out on their doorstep. Let them piss and shit in their front yard. That will work.
The subject has a lot to choose from today!
Last night we were in the store till midnight getting ready for the shoot. We changed the store to fall since this episode is for September. We had to put away the bathing suits and flip flops and sun hats and sun dresses. What a pain in the ass. But the store looks great and there is a lot of stuff for the subject to choose from. She has a difficult shape to fit. She is a bout an eight on top but about a 16 to 18 on the bottom. So we have to work with a lot of a-line stuff. Also, she hates dresses and really only wants pants. That makes it really tough for us since we really specialize in dresses and tops, pants not so much. Except for jeans. I do think we have a lot for them to choose from so lets hope she can find some good stuff.
Well they are in the Store now filming
Well they are filming in the store right now. I am watching Stacy and Clinton talking with the subject on the stores security camera. There is a crew of about fifteen people, but I am sitting in the back with the producer and the make up and hair stylists. We have some great sandwiches today. Sopersata and provolone. Grilled vegetables with fresh mozzarella. And everybody's favorite prosciutto with mozzarella and basil and tomato. Plus pastries of course.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Yeah Jeter is over rated. My ass.
So I have the All star game on and Derek gets a single and steal a base. He was voted one of baseballs most overrated players. I just know that when the chips are down I want him on my team.
By the way the Red Sox are sucking as usual.
By the way the Red Sox are sucking as usual.
Getting the store ready.
Well we are getting the store ready for them to film another "What Not to Wear" and I am trying to stay out of the way. We have the store dressed for summer with bathing suits and sun dresses displayed all over. We had to change that to fall since this episode will air in the fall and it can't look like Beach Blanket Bingo. So we broke out the fall stuff that we already have and put it on the manikins. The Anna Scholz snake skin trench coat is so cool, that people are knocking on the door and want to buy it now. In July. In eighty degree weather. That bodes well for the fall line.
Anyway, I went to the various shops and ordered the sandwiches and pastries for the crew. I used to make them myself but I don't have the freakin' time. I am hiding in the office now while the girls run around fixing up. I ate a pound of macaroni salad and had three beers. SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Don't tell the wife. I am supposed to be cutting down.
Anyway, I went to the various shops and ordered the sandwiches and pastries for the crew. I used to make them myself but I don't have the freakin' time. I am hiding in the office now while the girls run around fixing up. I ate a pound of macaroni salad and had three beers. SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Don't tell the wife. I am supposed to be cutting down.
You can't force funny.
So many people are trying to come with jokes about Obama now that they are saying that no one will make fun of him. Almost all of these jokes are lame. You can't force funny, it just has to come naturally.
That's what I call a Blown Call!
New York Post Weird but true July 15, 2008
Nine British women face prostitution charges after being arrested in Greece over the weekend for taking part in an oral-sex competition on the island of Zakynthos, officials said yesterday.
The women, who came to the popular resort for their summer vacation, had been paid to take part in the competition, which was videotaped and was to have been posted on the Internet, officials said.
The second annual Monica Lewinsky Open was won by Tigerina "Super Head" Woods who played on two bad knees. A true profile in courage.
One of the recipient's of the oral sex was also injured in the frenzy when he was bitten even though he was the partner of the eventual winner Miss Woods. He was quoted as saying "I went from the trill of victory to the agony of the teeth."
Nine British women face prostitution charges after being arrested in Greece over the weekend for taking part in an oral-sex competition on the island of Zakynthos, officials said yesterday.
The women, who came to the popular resort for their summer vacation, had been paid to take part in the competition, which was videotaped and was to have been posted on the Internet, officials said.
The second annual Monica Lewinsky Open was won by Tigerina "Super Head" Woods who played on two bad knees. A true profile in courage.
One of the recipient's of the oral sex was also injured in the frenzy when he was bitten even though he was the partner of the eventual winner Miss Woods. He was quoted as saying "I went from the trill of victory to the agony of the teeth."
Ted Williams Day at Fenway Park.
New York Post July, 15, 2008
A Texas minor-league baseball team will hold an "A-Rod & Madonna Night" promotion tomorrow.
The Grand Prairie AirHogs will sell $1 tickets to any couples coming to the game claiming to "share an agent."
Fans can also receive $1 admission if they wear an Alex Rodriguez jersey or come dressed as "any era of Madonna."
After hearing of this promotion, the Boston Red Sox decided to get in on the act. Next Thursday on Ted Williams Night there will be free admission for anyone who comes to the ballpark carrying the frozen severed head of their father.
A Texas minor-league baseball team will hold an "A-Rod & Madonna Night" promotion tomorrow.
The Grand Prairie AirHogs will sell $1 tickets to any couples coming to the game claiming to "share an agent."
Fans can also receive $1 admission if they wear an Alex Rodriguez jersey or come dressed as "any era of Madonna."
After hearing of this promotion, the Boston Red Sox decided to get in on the act. Next Thursday on Ted Williams Night there will be free admission for anyone who comes to the ballpark carrying the frozen severed head of their father.
Monday, July 14, 2008
True Yankees!
I was listening to Ed Randalls talking baseball on Sunday morning while I was making the wife breakfast and he was interviewing Dave Winfield. I was thinking about that and Bobby Murcer when I read AJ's comment about his memories of the All Star game. You know one of the most important parts of rooting for a team is to have guys that you can call your own. Born and bred players or even guys who get traded to your team that become such an intregal part of it that you value them forever as a "True"
Yankee or Phillie or Red or Red Sox.
Some stars can play on your team for ten years and never be a "True Yankee." I look at Dave Winfield and Reggie Jackson and A-Rod and Jason Giambi like that. Just as AJ doesn't consider Pete Rose a "True" Phillie even though he had a lot to do with their last championship. So a quick list of some of these true/fake Yankees.
True Yankees
Bobby Murcer
Roy White
Horace Clarke
Bernie Williams
Paul O'Neil
Derek Jeter
Mariano Rivera
Andy Pettitte
Don Mattingly
Thurman Munson
Craig Nettles
Fritz Peterson
Stan Banshen
Mickey Rivers
Not Real Yankees
Reggie Jackson
Dave Winfield
Ken Griffey Sr
A-Rod
Mike Musina
Jason Giambi
Hideki Matsui
Johnny Damon
Real Phillies
Richie Ashburn
Larry Bowa
Mike Schmidt
Steve Carlton
Tony Talyor
John Kruk
Terry Mullholland (I threw him in just for you AJ)
True Reds
Pete Rose
Ken Griffey
Lee Maye
Tony Perez
Don Gullet
Johnny Bench
Joe Morgan
Dave Concepcion
Vladimir Ilyich Lenin (Cyrus Pinkertons favorite player).
Yankee or Phillie or Red or Red Sox.
Some stars can play on your team for ten years and never be a "True Yankee." I look at Dave Winfield and Reggie Jackson and A-Rod and Jason Giambi like that. Just as AJ doesn't consider Pete Rose a "True" Phillie even though he had a lot to do with their last championship. So a quick list of some of these true/fake Yankees.
True Yankees
Bobby Murcer
Roy White
Horace Clarke
Bernie Williams
Paul O'Neil
Derek Jeter
Mariano Rivera
Andy Pettitte
Don Mattingly
Thurman Munson
Craig Nettles
Fritz Peterson
Stan Banshen
Mickey Rivers
Not Real Yankees
Reggie Jackson
Dave Winfield
Ken Griffey Sr
A-Rod
Mike Musina
Jason Giambi
Hideki Matsui
Johnny Damon
Real Phillies
Richie Ashburn
Larry Bowa
Mike Schmidt
Steve Carlton
Tony Talyor
John Kruk
Terry Mullholland (I threw him in just for you AJ)
True Reds
Pete Rose
Ken Griffey
Lee Maye
Tony Perez
Don Gullet
Johnny Bench
Joe Morgan
Dave Concepcion
Vladimir Ilyich Lenin (Cyrus Pinkertons favorite player).
The All Star game is not the same.
You would think I would be into the All Star game since it is in Yankee stadium this year, but it has lost it's luster for me. I was really into it back in the day when the National league was competitive. That was in the days when the National league had all the great black players like Willie Mays and Hank Aaron and Willie McCovey and Bob Gibson. But those days are long gone. In fact there aren't very many great black players anymore. Most of the great black athletes are into basketball and football so the great black player is few and far between. The latin player has come into his own and dominates the game these days. And those guys are spread relatively evenly in both leagues. What makes the American League superior is the hitting which is because of the DH. Now I know the National League pussies are all against the DH but it keeps the great hitters in the game and leads to all around better hitting. And has the added benefit of toughing up the pitchers. You only get better when you play against tougher competition, and in the America league there are no automatic outs.
Plus the home run derby is bullshit.
I hear that they have reserved the back room in Scores for the guys. A-Rod is going to throw out the first stripper.
Plus the home run derby is bullshit.
I hear that they have reserved the back room in Scores for the guys. A-Rod is going to throw out the first stripper.
Hey the web site is progressing.
Well we are working on the website, I have arranged for a photographer and we will be taking some shots of our goods to put online. What Not to Wear will be filming again this week and we are running ragged. I hope I have time to post. I do know I won't have enough time to comment so sorry in advance for the regular spots that I drop in. I will pick it up next week.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The old Yankees.
Thinking of Bobby Murcer makes me think about the old Yankees of 1965 to 1975. The team I grew up with and saw almost every day during the summer. We would jump on the train and get tickets almost every week, sometimes three and four times a week. You could always get an upper deck ticket for less than five bucks. Sometimes only a dollar. And then you would move down to the box seats.
Sometimes we went with the YMCA or the Con Ed kids. We would be in the bleachers screaming our fool heads off. Bobby Murcer would be right in front of us sometimes when he would run to get a ball that went all the way to the wall. In the old configuration the monuments were on the field. I remember when Mel Stottlemeyer hit an inside the park grand slam as the ball rattled around the monuments. You could go on the field on the warning track after the game to exit the Stadium. Thats when you could see the monuments. When they redid the stadium in the seventies, they set up Monument Park in behind the fence and made it a lot more corporate.
Those were the Horace Clark Yankees. We sucked. We went crazy when Celerino Sanchez came up to play third to replace that bust from the White Sox Rich Mc Kinney. Man he was a folk hero for a couple of months. But that team really sucked. It was only known for piss poor baseball and wife swapping pitchers.
So when I hear other asshole fans tell me that as a Yankee fan I don't know what it is to lose, I say suck it. I know all to well what it is like. Just ask Horace Clarke. Or Johnnie Ellis. Or Steve Kline. Or Frank Tepidino. Or Roy White. Or Bobby Murcer.
Sometimes we went with the YMCA or the Con Ed kids. We would be in the bleachers screaming our fool heads off. Bobby Murcer would be right in front of us sometimes when he would run to get a ball that went all the way to the wall. In the old configuration the monuments were on the field. I remember when Mel Stottlemeyer hit an inside the park grand slam as the ball rattled around the monuments. You could go on the field on the warning track after the game to exit the Stadium. Thats when you could see the monuments. When they redid the stadium in the seventies, they set up Monument Park in behind the fence and made it a lot more corporate.
Those were the Horace Clark Yankees. We sucked. We went crazy when Celerino Sanchez came up to play third to replace that bust from the White Sox Rich Mc Kinney. Man he was a folk hero for a couple of months. But that team really sucked. It was only known for piss poor baseball and wife swapping pitchers.
So when I hear other asshole fans tell me that as a Yankee fan I don't know what it is to lose, I say suck it. I know all to well what it is like. Just ask Horace Clarke. Or Johnnie Ellis. Or Steve Kline. Or Frank Tepidino. Or Roy White. Or Bobby Murcer.
Rest in Peace Bobby Murcer.
The great Yankee center fielder Bobby Murcer has passed away at the age of 62 from complications related to Brain cancer. He was a true Yankee in every sense of the word.
I remember when he first came up as shortstop in 1965. I think I was at his first game. We had to duck along the first base line because he was so nervous he put a few throws into the seats. He soon moved to center field and for a while he and Roy White were the heart of those bad Yankee teams. Horace Clarke, Mel Stottlemeye, Fitz Peterson, Jake Gibbs, Jerry Kenny, those were the guys I grew up with when I went to about fifty home games a year. Bobby was our all-star, a great hitter and a good fielder. He was an Oklahoma kid who was supposed to be the new Mickey Mantle and could never quite live up to that. But he was great as Bobby Murcer.
Then the new regime traded him to San Francisco for Bobby Bonds, father of Barry. Everyone was excited about Bonds because he was the first 40/40 guy with forty home runs and forty stolen bases. But one year was enough of him and he was traded for Mickey Rivers and Ed Figueroa. That was the trade that put the Yankees back in the World Series.
Bobby Murcer hated San Francisco and was eventually traded to the Chicago Cubs when he languished even though he had some decent years. Finally he came back to the Yankees to play with his own true team. The most memorable game I ever saw him have was the one when we beat the Orioles after Thurman Munsons funeral. Bobby drove in all five runs to win the game for the fallen captain. Bobby was a clutch player and a real pro.
He later went on to broadcast for the Yankees and was always a decent and kind voice in the broadcast booth. His Okie drawl was the sound of baseball in the summer for Yankee fans along with the Scooter for all of those years.
When he was diagnosed with brain cancer, he had all of the prayers of the Yankees both players and fans. He was the epitome of Yankee class. A great player. A great team mate. A great role model. A great Yankee.
Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord,
And let perpetual Light shine upon him.
May his souls
And the souls of all the faithful departed
Through the mercy of God
Rest in peace.
Amen.
I remember when he first came up as shortstop in 1965. I think I was at his first game. We had to duck along the first base line because he was so nervous he put a few throws into the seats. He soon moved to center field and for a while he and Roy White were the heart of those bad Yankee teams. Horace Clarke, Mel Stottlemeye, Fitz Peterson, Jake Gibbs, Jerry Kenny, those were the guys I grew up with when I went to about fifty home games a year. Bobby was our all-star, a great hitter and a good fielder. He was an Oklahoma kid who was supposed to be the new Mickey Mantle and could never quite live up to that. But he was great as Bobby Murcer.
Then the new regime traded him to San Francisco for Bobby Bonds, father of Barry. Everyone was excited about Bonds because he was the first 40/40 guy with forty home runs and forty stolen bases. But one year was enough of him and he was traded for Mickey Rivers and Ed Figueroa. That was the trade that put the Yankees back in the World Series.
Bobby Murcer hated San Francisco and was eventually traded to the Chicago Cubs when he languished even though he had some decent years. Finally he came back to the Yankees to play with his own true team. The most memorable game I ever saw him have was the one when we beat the Orioles after Thurman Munsons funeral. Bobby drove in all five runs to win the game for the fallen captain. Bobby was a clutch player and a real pro.
He later went on to broadcast for the Yankees and was always a decent and kind voice in the broadcast booth. His Okie drawl was the sound of baseball in the summer for Yankee fans along with the Scooter for all of those years.
When he was diagnosed with brain cancer, he had all of the prayers of the Yankees both players and fans. He was the epitome of Yankee class. A great player. A great team mate. A great role model. A great Yankee.
Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord,
And let perpetual Light shine upon him.
May his souls
And the souls of all the faithful departed
Through the mercy of God
Rest in peace.
Amen.
Meet Abdul our newest Pork Inspectgor!
New York Post Weird but True July 13, 2008
An English airport may have taken political correctness to a new level when it posted an ad for an air-traffic controller - in Braille.
Although perfect vision is a requirement for the position at St. Mary's Airport, officials said they needed to comply with equal-opportunity guidelines, so the position was offered to the blind.
In a related story, the exam for pork inspector has drawn a wide variety of applicants including several Muslims, who insist on getting the job without having to touch any swine. The issue in now in the courts.
An English airport may have taken political correctness to a new level when it posted an ad for an air-traffic controller - in Braille.
Although perfect vision is a requirement for the position at St. Mary's Airport, officials said they needed to comply with equal-opportunity guidelines, so the position was offered to the blind.
In a related story, the exam for pork inspector has drawn a wide variety of applicants including several Muslims, who insist on getting the job without having to touch any swine. The issue in now in the courts.
Pussy through the mail?
New York Post Weird but True July 13, 2008
A German woman accidentally mailed her cat 450 miles.
Gitti Rauch said her kitty, Janosch, climbed into a package of presents for a nap, only to be sealed inside. Rauch didn't notice, and sent the package across Germany.
When her family opened the package, the cat jumped out unharmed.
Unexpected pussy is always welcome. I think.
A German woman accidentally mailed her cat 450 miles.
Gitti Rauch said her kitty, Janosch, climbed into a package of presents for a nap, only to be sealed inside. Rauch didn't notice, and sent the package across Germany.
When her family opened the package, the cat jumped out unharmed.
Unexpected pussy is always welcome. I think.
Wedding blues!
So the wife and I went to a wedding last night. One of our big customers got married and was nice enough to invite us. It was in this fancy waterside restaurant in Long Island City with a great view of Manhattan. Now we didn't know anyone other than the bride and groom but we had our usual great time. Since we didn't know anyone, my wife let me dance which she almost never does. You see when I dance it's sort of like Jim Carrey in the "Mask".....on crack. I pull out all of my best Ralph Kramden moves, you know the huckle buckle and the curly shuffle and the whole ball of wax.
Anyway it was a different type of wedding. It was a Polish Catholic marrying a Jewish Lawyer from the Island. Culture shock but in a good way. At one point we are chatting with the bride and she says "Oh wait I have to go get the DJ to play a polka for my mother in law". I said "A polka, Holy Crap I love polka." So we danced a combination Polka/Saturday Night Fever Hustle. It was something to see I tell ya.
The only slight problem was the food. Not that it wasn't good and plentiful. But it was a buffet style seating without assigned seats. You know, you don't get to go to the little table with your seat assignments so you walk over and introduce yourself. I always love that because you are usually sitting with people you don't know. That's one of my favorite things to do. I introduce myself and the wife and get the conversation going. And if I didn't meet them before, all my material is new. Cool.
Anyway, we really didn't have anyplace to sit so we found this couch right off the dance floor that had a little table. Since we didn't have any sliver ware a scored some chop sticks from the sushi bar to use to eat from the buffet. I served as a runner going up to the various stations. Since the brides family was Jewish, they love Chinese food and sushi so they had both a sushi bar and a Chinese food bar where they prepared the stuff right in front of you. So I kept getting freshly prepared chicken and broccoli and beef with bean sprouts in garlic sauce. I did hit the regular buffet for prime rib. And it's a lot of fun to try to eat mashed potato with chop sticks.
But my serving as runner was just for the first few trips. I do what I usually do and threw a few tips around and talked to everyone like they were regular people. So they were coming over with plates of food and drinks and napkins and taking away dishes. The other people where going "Who are these guys." So that was fun.
But then trouble. The deserts came out. Now we don't eat cake any more because my wife can't eat sweets for health reasons, and I can't eat it because she can't eat it if you know what I mean. But the desert table was out. Flan. Black Forrest Cake. Cheese cake. Apple tart. Irish coffee. AND MY FAVORITE WALNUT CAKE. Man, I snuck three pieces of walnut cake. Now I had been enjoying a few cocktails so the cake slid down with no trouble. We said goodbye to all the nice people we had met and jumped in the car we had ordered and got home in no time.
Picture this. Your hero tossing and turning. His stomach in an uproar. The Walnut cake has declared war on the prime rib. The Beef with snow peas duking it out with the flan. I was sick as a dog.
A bottle of Beptmo Bismal and a good dump later I felt almost human. I love going crazy at weddings. It's the next morning that's not so much fun.
Anyway it was a different type of wedding. It was a Polish Catholic marrying a Jewish Lawyer from the Island. Culture shock but in a good way. At one point we are chatting with the bride and she says "Oh wait I have to go get the DJ to play a polka for my mother in law". I said "A polka, Holy Crap I love polka." So we danced a combination Polka/Saturday Night Fever Hustle. It was something to see I tell ya.
The only slight problem was the food. Not that it wasn't good and plentiful. But it was a buffet style seating without assigned seats. You know, you don't get to go to the little table with your seat assignments so you walk over and introduce yourself. I always love that because you are usually sitting with people you don't know. That's one of my favorite things to do. I introduce myself and the wife and get the conversation going. And if I didn't meet them before, all my material is new. Cool.
Anyway, we really didn't have anyplace to sit so we found this couch right off the dance floor that had a little table. Since we didn't have any sliver ware a scored some chop sticks from the sushi bar to use to eat from the buffet. I served as a runner going up to the various stations. Since the brides family was Jewish, they love Chinese food and sushi so they had both a sushi bar and a Chinese food bar where they prepared the stuff right in front of you. So I kept getting freshly prepared chicken and broccoli and beef with bean sprouts in garlic sauce. I did hit the regular buffet for prime rib. And it's a lot of fun to try to eat mashed potato with chop sticks.
But my serving as runner was just for the first few trips. I do what I usually do and threw a few tips around and talked to everyone like they were regular people. So they were coming over with plates of food and drinks and napkins and taking away dishes. The other people where going "Who are these guys." So that was fun.
But then trouble. The deserts came out. Now we don't eat cake any more because my wife can't eat sweets for health reasons, and I can't eat it because she can't eat it if you know what I mean. But the desert table was out. Flan. Black Forrest Cake. Cheese cake. Apple tart. Irish coffee. AND MY FAVORITE WALNUT CAKE. Man, I snuck three pieces of walnut cake. Now I had been enjoying a few cocktails so the cake slid down with no trouble. We said goodbye to all the nice people we had met and jumped in the car we had ordered and got home in no time.
Picture this. Your hero tossing and turning. His stomach in an uproar. The Walnut cake has declared war on the prime rib. The Beef with snow peas duking it out with the flan. I was sick as a dog.
A bottle of Beptmo Bismal and a good dump later I felt almost human. I love going crazy at weddings. It's the next morning that's not so much fun.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
You got the Cutest little Baby Face!
In professional wrestling there are two types of people. The good guys who are called the Baby Faces. And the Villains. You can start out as one and morph into the other. Such Big time wrestlers like Gorilla Moonson, Hulk Hogan and Gorgeous George have been both at one time or another. I remember when I used to watch wrestling back in the sixties with my grand mother on my fathers side. A nice lady but not too swift. She could never follow the changes. How you could be a baby face but then turn into a villain. She just couldn't keep up.
Heros/ Villians?
I just saw an ad for the new season of Heroes on NBC. It's called Heros/Villains and I guess there is a thin line between the two. Maybe you can be a hero one day and a villain the next. That sounds like fun.
God love you Amy!
New York Daily News July 12, 2008
Friday, July 11th 2008, 11:16 AM
Benett/Getty
Amy Winehouse performs at her club night in Camden on Thursday, where she was reportedly spotted with a white subtance in the vicinity of her nose.
She's at it again. Singer Amy Winehouse appears to have ditched the black and gone back to white.
The "Back to Black" singer was recently spotted with a white substance up her nostrils after yet another crazy night out in Camden, London, according to Britain's Daily Mail. Winehouse, 24, spent the evening DJ-ing at one of her local haunts, the Monarch Pub, until about 2 am and photos reveal she may not have been drug-free during that time.
And in what's becoming a typical display of bizarre behavior, upon leaving the pub, Winehouse picked up a Budweiser cardboard box and pulled it over her head to shield her face as she rushed into a cab.
Despite her recent visit to a London clinic and her father's desperate attempts to keep to protect her, it seems that the Grammy award-winning artist just can't kick her bad habits.
Winehouse was recently quoted in Rolling Stone magazine saying, "'To be honest, my husband's away, I'm bored, I'm young. I felt like there was nothing to live for. It's just been a low ebb."
Though once known as a promising young singer, whose hit "Rehab" won a Grammy for "Song of the Year" in 2007, Winehouse has more recently made headlines for her various addictions and punching both fans and her bodyguard in the face.
The star's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, 25, is also notorious for his drug addictions and was most recently photographed using what appears to be heroin from inside his jail cell.
Amy Winehouse is the gift that keeps on giving. You got to love her.
Friday, July 11th 2008, 11:16 AM
Benett/Getty
Amy Winehouse performs at her club night in Camden on Thursday, where she was reportedly spotted with a white subtance in the vicinity of her nose.
She's at it again. Singer Amy Winehouse appears to have ditched the black and gone back to white.
The "Back to Black" singer was recently spotted with a white substance up her nostrils after yet another crazy night out in Camden, London, according to Britain's Daily Mail. Winehouse, 24, spent the evening DJ-ing at one of her local haunts, the Monarch Pub, until about 2 am and photos reveal she may not have been drug-free during that time.
And in what's becoming a typical display of bizarre behavior, upon leaving the pub, Winehouse picked up a Budweiser cardboard box and pulled it over her head to shield her face as she rushed into a cab.
Despite her recent visit to a London clinic and her father's desperate attempts to keep to protect her, it seems that the Grammy award-winning artist just can't kick her bad habits.
Winehouse was recently quoted in Rolling Stone magazine saying, "'To be honest, my husband's away, I'm bored, I'm young. I felt like there was nothing to live for. It's just been a low ebb."
Though once known as a promising young singer, whose hit "Rehab" won a Grammy for "Song of the Year" in 2007, Winehouse has more recently made headlines for her various addictions and punching both fans and her bodyguard in the face.
The star's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, 25, is also notorious for his drug addictions and was most recently photographed using what appears to be heroin from inside his jail cell.
Amy Winehouse is the gift that keeps on giving. You got to love her.
Of course he hates the Mets. Doesn't everybody?
New York Post July 12, 2008
July 12, 2008
Rockies closer Brian Fuentes heard enough rumors about a potential future with the MetsNew York Mets that he recently sought out Amazin's counterpart Billy WagnerBilly Wagner for advice.
The left-handed Fuentes can become a free agent after this season, and the Mets are pursuing the three-time All-Star along with the YankeesNew York Yankees , Rays, Cardinals and Marlins.
As The Post's Joel Sherman reported exclusively two weeks ago, the Mets also are in pursuit of Mariners outfielder Raul Ibanez.
Tampa Bay reportedly is considered the favorite for Fuentes, but Fuentes said yesterday before a three-game series at Shea Stadium that the prospect of the Mets or Yankees would intrigue him more.
"I talked to Billy a little bit," Fuentes told The Post. "He says it's a love-hate deal [playing in New York], but that's how the sport is. The fans are passionate about their team, and that's what makes New York fans great. It's fun coming in here and getting booed because they're so passionate."
Given his choice of destinations, though, Fuentes said it would be the Yankees.
"I've never played in Yankee Stadium," he told The Post. "I have no preference, but putting on the pinstripes would be something special by itself."
No body in their right mind would want to play for the Mets. I don't care if they get a new staduim, they are still a second rate team who will always be sucking wind when it comes to baseball in this town. Fuentes can come and learn at the feet of the great Mariano and maybe someday replace him when he is ready to go to the hall of fame. He can play in the same uniform as Ruth, Gerhig, Dimaggio, Mantle, Munson and Jeter. He can be part of the greatest franchise in the history of professional sports.
Or he can play for a team that plays in Flushing.
I mean it's no contest.
July 12, 2008
Rockies closer Brian Fuentes heard enough rumors about a potential future with the MetsNew York Mets that he recently sought out Amazin's counterpart Billy WagnerBilly Wagner for advice.
The left-handed Fuentes can become a free agent after this season, and the Mets are pursuing the three-time All-Star along with the YankeesNew York Yankees , Rays, Cardinals and Marlins.
As The Post's Joel Sherman reported exclusively two weeks ago, the Mets also are in pursuit of Mariners outfielder Raul Ibanez.
Tampa Bay reportedly is considered the favorite for Fuentes, but Fuentes said yesterday before a three-game series at Shea Stadium that the prospect of the Mets or Yankees would intrigue him more.
"I talked to Billy a little bit," Fuentes told The Post. "He says it's a love-hate deal [playing in New York], but that's how the sport is. The fans are passionate about their team, and that's what makes New York fans great. It's fun coming in here and getting booed because they're so passionate."
Given his choice of destinations, though, Fuentes said it would be the Yankees.
"I've never played in Yankee Stadium," he told The Post. "I have no preference, but putting on the pinstripes would be something special by itself."
No body in their right mind would want to play for the Mets. I don't care if they get a new staduim, they are still a second rate team who will always be sucking wind when it comes to baseball in this town. Fuentes can come and learn at the feet of the great Mariano and maybe someday replace him when he is ready to go to the hall of fame. He can play in the same uniform as Ruth, Gerhig, Dimaggio, Mantle, Munson and Jeter. He can be part of the greatest franchise in the history of professional sports.
Or he can play for a team that plays in Flushing.
I mean it's no contest.
Hey that's show business!
New York Post Weird but True July 12. 2008
He has a deep-seated desire for fame.
Jim Purol set the Guinness World Record by sitting down in 39,250 seats at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, Calif., in 48 hours.
And he isn't done yet. He plans to finish putting his fanny in the stadium's 92,542 seats by the end of tomorrow.
Twenty years ago, he sat in all 107,501 seats at the University of Michigan's football stadium.
Mr. Purol is only the second person to be in Guiness Book because of his ass. The first is of course, Kim Kardashian
He has a deep-seated desire for fame.
Jim Purol set the Guinness World Record by sitting down in 39,250 seats at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, Calif., in 48 hours.
And he isn't done yet. He plans to finish putting his fanny in the stadium's 92,542 seats by the end of tomorrow.
Twenty years ago, he sat in all 107,501 seats at the University of Michigan's football stadium.
Mr. Purol is only the second person to be in Guiness Book because of his ass. The first is of course, Kim Kardashian
Bissage promises to stop.
New York Post July 12, 2008
The Fort Lauderdale, Fla., chief of police clearly isn't setting the example he ought to.
Frank Adderley begged a judge for leniency for his wife after she shot at him three times with his gun as he slept.
She said she was just trying to "scare" her husband, and all the shots missed.
There was no explanation of what set her off.
The chief who posts on the internet under the name Bissage, has agreed to stop mentioning his wife in his periodic lame attempts at humor on various internet sites.
"I guess I will have to back to Johnny Nucleo so the bitch won't try to kill me."
The Fort Lauderdale, Fla., chief of police clearly isn't setting the example he ought to.
Frank Adderley begged a judge for leniency for his wife after she shot at him three times with his gun as he slept.
She said she was just trying to "scare" her husband, and all the shots missed.
There was no explanation of what set her off.
The chief who posts on the internet under the name Bissage, has agreed to stop mentioning his wife in his periodic lame attempts at humor on various internet sites.
"I guess I will have to back to Johnny Nucleo so the bitch won't try to kill me."
Friday, July 11, 2008
Man the Joker screwed up bad.
New York Daily News July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10th 2008, 5:14 PM
Pizzello/AP
Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams
Michelle Williams is reportedly making a film about Heath Ledger to keep the memory of the actor alive for the couple's daughter, Matilda.
"It makes Michelle's heart ache that Matilda was so young when Heath died and she's unlikely to retain any memories of her father," a source told Australian Daily Telegraph. "She wants to keep his spirit alive with something Matilda can treasure all her life."
Williams reportedly plans to ask friends and co-workers to appear in the video, sharing stories of Ledger, who died of an accidental drug overdose in January.
Ledger's performance as the Joker in "The Dark Knight," which opens nationwide July 18, is already garnering Oscar buzz from critics.
Williams and Ledger met on the set of "Brokeback Mountain" in 2004 and moved in together shortly afterwards. The two split in 2007, but seemed to keep a close relationship.
This really stinks. I used to see them around the neighborhood every once in a while as they live around the corner from my mom. What a tragedy. What a jerk. I hope A-rod
takes a lesson. But his hubris is just too great. Just like Ledger's. They think they will live forever. What a waste.
Thursday, July 10th 2008, 5:14 PM
Pizzello/AP
Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams
Michelle Williams is reportedly making a film about Heath Ledger to keep the memory of the actor alive for the couple's daughter, Matilda.
"It makes Michelle's heart ache that Matilda was so young when Heath died and she's unlikely to retain any memories of her father," a source told Australian Daily Telegraph. "She wants to keep his spirit alive with something Matilda can treasure all her life."
Williams reportedly plans to ask friends and co-workers to appear in the video, sharing stories of Ledger, who died of an accidental drug overdose in January.
Ledger's performance as the Joker in "The Dark Knight," which opens nationwide July 18, is already garnering Oscar buzz from critics.
Williams and Ledger met on the set of "Brokeback Mountain" in 2004 and moved in together shortly afterwards. The two split in 2007, but seemed to keep a close relationship.
This really stinks. I used to see them around the neighborhood every once in a while as they live around the corner from my mom. What a tragedy. What a jerk. I hope A-rod
takes a lesson. But his hubris is just too great. Just like Ledger's. They think they will live forever. What a waste.
Con Ed is killing me.
New York Daily News July 11, 2008
Friday, July 11th 2008, 4:00 AM
M. Roberts for News
Thanks to the surging price of natural gas and oil, Con Ed's residential customers will be hit with a record rate increase this summer.
Get ready for a summer jolt from Con Ed.
Residential customers will pay 22% more for electricity this year than last summer - one of the biggest year-to-year increases on record, the utility giant predicts.
And it's not all the fault of Con Ed - the company New Yorkers love to hate.
The surging price of natural gas and oil, which has doubled in the past year, is behind most of the huge hike, the utility says.
Business customers will be hit with a 25% increase, according to a Con Ed forecast obtained by the Daily News.
As recently as June 5, Con Ed projected the average summer month's bill would increase 13% over last year, but in the past four weeks alone, crude oil prices have soared by more than $20 a barrel.
News of yet another wallet-busting increase hit New Yorkers hard.
"All our rates are going up - and our blood pressure is going up," groaned Anthony Dunbar, 37, a Queens employment counselor.
Man this is going to kill me this summer. I have to keep the air conditioning blasting and all of the lights on so my bill is going to be crazy. I will have to sell a lot of bloomers to make up for a 25% increase.
Friday, July 11th 2008, 4:00 AM
M. Roberts for News
Thanks to the surging price of natural gas and oil, Con Ed's residential customers will be hit with a record rate increase this summer.
Get ready for a summer jolt from Con Ed.
Residential customers will pay 22% more for electricity this year than last summer - one of the biggest year-to-year increases on record, the utility giant predicts.
And it's not all the fault of Con Ed - the company New Yorkers love to hate.
The surging price of natural gas and oil, which has doubled in the past year, is behind most of the huge hike, the utility says.
Business customers will be hit with a 25% increase, according to a Con Ed forecast obtained by the Daily News.
As recently as June 5, Con Ed projected the average summer month's bill would increase 13% over last year, but in the past four weeks alone, crude oil prices have soared by more than $20 a barrel.
News of yet another wallet-busting increase hit New Yorkers hard.
"All our rates are going up - and our blood pressure is going up," groaned Anthony Dunbar, 37, a Queens employment counselor.
Man this is going to kill me this summer. I have to keep the air conditioning blasting and all of the lights on so my bill is going to be crazy. I will have to sell a lot of bloomers to make up for a 25% increase.
Hey the Supreme Court caused this!
New York Post July 11, 2008
A veteran cop emphatically denied yesterday that his wife shot and killed a Brooklyn ex-con who had roughed up his 13-year-old daughter, saying it was a case of mistaken identity.
"My wife did not do this crime. I know they have the wrong person," Arnold Nickey, who has been with the NYPD for 14 years, told The Post.
"It's not true. It's not true," insisted Nickey, who is assigned to the 73rd Precinct in Brooklyn. "I know my wife. She is not capable of doing anything like that."
Nickey's wife, Veronica, a nurse, was arrested Tuesday night and charged with killing Ellison Butler, 22, on June 27 in Lincoln Terrace Park, a half-block from the Nickeys' Crown Heights home.
A source said Veronica walked up to Butler, whose nickname was "Rhino," and blasted him in the chest with a .380-caliber handgun, screaming, "That's what you get for messing with my children. That's what you get for messing with my daughter."
The mother was enraged because two weeks earlier, Butler had gotten into an argument with her daughter in the park, followed her home and grabbed her in front of her house, the source said.
Butler, who spent 45 days in Rikers Island for assault last fall, died at Kings County Hospital.
Veronica, 42, was held without bail yesterday after her arraignment on murder and weapons-possession charges in Brooklyn Supreme Court. The murder weapon has not been found.
In addition to their 13-year-old daughter, Arnold Nickey and his wife have two sons, ages 10 and 16.
The mom and kids live in Delaware during the week, returning to Crown Heights on weekends and in the summer.
The cop told The Post that on Tuesday night, police knocked on his door and asked him if his wife was named Veronica.
"They were just looking for someone named Veronica," he said.
Nickey said that neither his wife nor his daughter mentioned anything about the altercation with Butler.
"It's news to me," he said. "I don't know anything about that. I didn't hear anything about that."
"My wife doesn't know this guy. I don't know this guy. My daughter probably saw him at the park," he added.
Nickey, who has two 9 mm pistols registered in his name, said he doesn't own a .380-caliber handgun and has no idea where his wife might have gotten one.
He quoted his daughter as saying of her mom, "Of course she didn't do it."
This is what is going to happen more and more as people lose faith in the law. When these idoits were rousted and got a beat down during Guliani time, the streets got a lot safer. The people who live there know who the bad actors are and won't bat an eye when they get theirs. But sometimes the fustration can build up and bad shit happens. I am up for jury duty and if I get her case there is no way I will convict. This douchebag got what he deserved.
A veteran cop emphatically denied yesterday that his wife shot and killed a Brooklyn ex-con who had roughed up his 13-year-old daughter, saying it was a case of mistaken identity.
"My wife did not do this crime. I know they have the wrong person," Arnold Nickey, who has been with the NYPD for 14 years, told The Post.
"It's not true. It's not true," insisted Nickey, who is assigned to the 73rd Precinct in Brooklyn. "I know my wife. She is not capable of doing anything like that."
Nickey's wife, Veronica, a nurse, was arrested Tuesday night and charged with killing Ellison Butler, 22, on June 27 in Lincoln Terrace Park, a half-block from the Nickeys' Crown Heights home.
A source said Veronica walked up to Butler, whose nickname was "Rhino," and blasted him in the chest with a .380-caliber handgun, screaming, "That's what you get for messing with my children. That's what you get for messing with my daughter."
The mother was enraged because two weeks earlier, Butler had gotten into an argument with her daughter in the park, followed her home and grabbed her in front of her house, the source said.
Butler, who spent 45 days in Rikers Island for assault last fall, died at Kings County Hospital.
Veronica, 42, was held without bail yesterday after her arraignment on murder and weapons-possession charges in Brooklyn Supreme Court. The murder weapon has not been found.
In addition to their 13-year-old daughter, Arnold Nickey and his wife have two sons, ages 10 and 16.
The mom and kids live in Delaware during the week, returning to Crown Heights on weekends and in the summer.
The cop told The Post that on Tuesday night, police knocked on his door and asked him if his wife was named Veronica.
"They were just looking for someone named Veronica," he said.
Nickey said that neither his wife nor his daughter mentioned anything about the altercation with Butler.
"It's news to me," he said. "I don't know anything about that. I didn't hear anything about that."
"My wife doesn't know this guy. I don't know this guy. My daughter probably saw him at the park," he added.
Nickey, who has two 9 mm pistols registered in his name, said he doesn't own a .380-caliber handgun and has no idea where his wife might have gotten one.
He quoted his daughter as saying of her mom, "Of course she didn't do it."
This is what is going to happen more and more as people lose faith in the law. When these idoits were rousted and got a beat down during Guliani time, the streets got a lot safer. The people who live there know who the bad actors are and won't bat an eye when they get theirs. But sometimes the fustration can build up and bad shit happens. I am up for jury duty and if I get her case there is no way I will convict. This douchebag got what he deserved.
Jeeez, I hope Titus is all right?
New York Post July 11, 2008
WISCONSIN RAPIDS, Wis. (AP) -- A central Wisconsin man accused of abducting and sexually assaulting two men has been charged with 12 felonies.
The Wood County District Attorney's office filed the charges Friday against 46-year-old Edward Lanphear and a judge has found probable cause for a preliminary hearing.
Police said Lanphear held two men in his house, stripped them, beat them and assaulted them several times. Police say one of the men managed to escape and the other was found in Lanphear's basement this week.
Lanphear faces felony counts of kidnapping, sexual assault, reckless endangerment, false imprisonment, substantial battery, and misdemeanor impersonating a peace officer. He's being held in lieu of $1 million bond.
His attorney has declined to comment on the charges.
I hope Titus is ok. He said he was going home to visit in Wisconsin. That seems like a very dangerous place. All that cheese must make you crazy.
Check in Titus if youre listening and let us know you are doing ok. We miss you.
WISCONSIN RAPIDS, Wis. (AP) -- A central Wisconsin man accused of abducting and sexually assaulting two men has been charged with 12 felonies.
The Wood County District Attorney's office filed the charges Friday against 46-year-old Edward Lanphear and a judge has found probable cause for a preliminary hearing.
Police said Lanphear held two men in his house, stripped them, beat them and assaulted them several times. Police say one of the men managed to escape and the other was found in Lanphear's basement this week.
Lanphear faces felony counts of kidnapping, sexual assault, reckless endangerment, false imprisonment, substantial battery, and misdemeanor impersonating a peace officer. He's being held in lieu of $1 million bond.
His attorney has declined to comment on the charges.
I hope Titus is ok. He said he was going home to visit in Wisconsin. That seems like a very dangerous place. All that cheese must make you crazy.
Check in Titus if youre listening and let us know you are doing ok. We miss you.
Breeder_ Iam
New York Post Page 6 July 11, 2008
THE chic accessory for summer '08 is a toddler on the hip. At Midtown's Brasserie Cognac, where fashion is a passion, Brooke Shields and writer/producer Chris Henchy are regulars with their baby daughter, Grier. Jeff Gordon and his wife, Belgian model Ingrid, pop in from across the street with their precious Ella. And their neighbors, designer Eric Villency and Fox News beauty Kimberly Guilfoyle, bring little Ronan for the pommes frites. Not missing a beat, Cognac owner Vittorio Assaf is introducing a children's menu.
This is almost as bad as Aunt Suzies in Park Slope. The little rugrats are everywhere. Where can we go to get away from them. What...middle america...the heartland...nevermind.
THE chic accessory for summer '08 is a toddler on the hip. At Midtown's Brasserie Cognac, where fashion is a passion, Brooke Shields and writer/producer Chris Henchy are regulars with their baby daughter, Grier. Jeff Gordon and his wife, Belgian model Ingrid, pop in from across the street with their precious Ella. And their neighbors, designer Eric Villency and Fox News beauty Kimberly Guilfoyle, bring little Ronan for the pommes frites. Not missing a beat, Cognac owner Vittorio Assaf is introducing a children's menu.
This is almost as bad as Aunt Suzies in Park Slope. The little rugrats are everywhere. Where can we go to get away from them. What...middle america...the heartland...nevermind.
Oy the touchas on that Nafka, it's a Shanda boychick!
New York Post Page 6 July 11, 2008
BRETT Ratner has turned Heeb into a girlie book. The "X-Men" and "Rush Hour" director, guest editor of the irreverent Jewish magazine's summer issue, created what's described as the world's first Jewish swimsuit calendar to coincide with the Jewish New Year 5769. For eye candy, he recruited Bar Refaeli, Moran Atias, Esti Ginzborg, Donna Feldman, Neta Bell-Silber and Adi Neuman to pose in teeny bikinis. In one kitschy shot, Esti poses with a fishing rod and a hooked piece of lox.
What no Madonna?
BRETT Ratner has turned Heeb into a girlie book. The "X-Men" and "Rush Hour" director, guest editor of the irreverent Jewish magazine's summer issue, created what's described as the world's first Jewish swimsuit calendar to coincide with the Jewish New Year 5769. For eye candy, he recruited Bar Refaeli, Moran Atias, Esti Ginzborg, Donna Feldman, Neta Bell-Silber and Adi Neuman to pose in teeny bikinis. In one kitschy shot, Esti poses with a fishing rod and a hooked piece of lox.
What no Madonna?
Simon Says.......
New York Post Weird but True July 11, 2008
That's one way to get rid of your wife.
A happily married English woman burst into tears when she got a letter from a lawyer telling her that her divorce had been finalized. She was even more surprised when her husband said he knew nothing about it.
Apparently, the law firm - which the couple used in another matter - had sent them the wrong letter.
The firm has announced that the paralegal involved had been terminated. "I told Simon that he had to spend less time on the Internet and more time paying attention to his job" said Magistrate Edwin Rumpole. "I just can not countenance his slacking any longer so he will be sacked,"
That's one way to get rid of your wife.
A happily married English woman burst into tears when she got a letter from a lawyer telling her that her divorce had been finalized. She was even more surprised when her husband said he knew nothing about it.
Apparently, the law firm - which the couple used in another matter - had sent them the wrong letter.
The firm has announced that the paralegal involved had been terminated. "I told Simon that he had to spend less time on the Internet and more time paying attention to his job" said Magistrate Edwin Rumpole. "I just can not countenance his slacking any longer so he will be sacked,"
Hey filming the podcasts is finally over!
Well we finally finished filming the podcasts that took all morning on Friday. The wife did three new installments which will air on Elastic Waist and on Shine on the Yahoo network. One is about swimwear and cover ups for the beach. One is about sundresses and other accessories. And the final one is about how to pack you stuff for summer vacations and weekend trips. They all came out great. She is a natural and should have her own show.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Why don't you like comments douche bag.
On a related note, I have to say that a lot of sites have content moderation and delete tons of comments. What a bunch of pussies. Let people say what they want and talk back if you don't like it you jerk-offs. Jeeeez.
Blogging heads is stupid man.
I wanted to comment on blogging heads today because of the stupidity of the video, but the sign up is so fucking complicated and the way you comment is moronic. I mean they really don't make it easy which just discourages comments. I think that's what they want.
Odd Couples?
New York Post Film Bytes July 6, 2008
Columbia Pictures announced that it would reunite "Talladega Nights" co-stars Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen (a k a Borat) in a new Sherlock Holmes movie, with Cohen taking the lead as the master detective, and Ferrell playing his right-hand man.
In a related note, Jakie Chan has offered to star with Barack Obama in a new cop buddy series since his old partner Chris Tucker has retired to become a pastry chef. Mr. Obama has declined as he is currently filming a bit part in a sequel to Grumpy Old Men called Grumpy Old Man, This Time it's Serious.
Columbia Pictures announced that it would reunite "Talladega Nights" co-stars Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen (a k a Borat) in a new Sherlock Holmes movie, with Cohen taking the lead as the master detective, and Ferrell playing his right-hand man.
In a related note, Jakie Chan has offered to star with Barack Obama in a new cop buddy series since his old partner Chris Tucker has retired to become a pastry chef. Mr. Obama has declined as he is currently filming a bit part in a sequel to Grumpy Old Men called Grumpy Old Man, This Time it's Serious.
Are you talking to me?
One of my socks rolled out of my drawer yesterday and right onto Court St for everyone to see. Led to lots of comments. Jeeez, don't people have anything else to do.
Nancy dressed Melissa on Nashville Star?
It looks like our friend Nancy who sells online dressed the plus gal Melissa on Nashville Star. What a great break for her. Nobody deserves it more. She's good people.
Cocktail Dresses?
Well they are going to shoot in the store again and we have to be ready. Plus our big bump has to feature cocktail dresses. So we have to find a cocktail dress that we can get enough of to feature on line as well as in the store. We can't use our top of the line dress because they might get damaged in shipping back and forth. I have heard that on-line stores often get a 40% return rate and you can't risk that on an expensive piece. But it looks like we have a good alternative. Here's hoping.
Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend, The Next Generation
Yankee Locker Room July 10, 2008
Derek Jeter: Man that Vanessa Minello keeps texting me. I thought she had another boyfriend. These bitches gotta know when it's time to give it up.(A-Rod comes into the locker room)
Jorge Posada: Hey Chico, I saw the picture in the post today. You with that fitness model girl. Wassup with dat.
Joba Chamberlin: She seems very nice Mr. Rodreiquez. Did she come to the game yesterday? It looks like she is wearing one of those fake Jason Giambi mustaches they gave out yesterday.
Jorge Posada: That's a real mustache kid. A-Rod likes em muscular right jefe. At least that's what they say in the Post.
A-Rod: She's not muscular, she's just fit.
Derek: No problem dude. Hey if it doesn't work out with Madonna, I think I can get you Diana Ross's number. I hear she still likes to work out.
Background voices: Oh snap man...that's cold...you take that shit
A-Rod: Thanks but I am ok for now. (Slams door as he goes into the weight room).
Trainer: Well at least they aren't teasing you about the divorce
A-Rod: Shut up you moron, I'm not paying you to talk or to sit around looking muscular..I mean ....whatever...spot me...and shut up!
Derek Jeter: Man that Vanessa Minello keeps texting me. I thought she had another boyfriend. These bitches gotta know when it's time to give it up.(A-Rod comes into the locker room)
Jorge Posada: Hey Chico, I saw the picture in the post today. You with that fitness model girl. Wassup with dat.
Joba Chamberlin: She seems very nice Mr. Rodreiquez. Did she come to the game yesterday? It looks like she is wearing one of those fake Jason Giambi mustaches they gave out yesterday.
Jorge Posada: That's a real mustache kid. A-Rod likes em muscular right jefe. At least that's what they say in the Post.
A-Rod: She's not muscular, she's just fit.
Derek: No problem dude. Hey if it doesn't work out with Madonna, I think I can get you Diana Ross's number. I hear she still likes to work out.
Background voices: Oh snap man...that's cold...you take that shit
A-Rod: Thanks but I am ok for now. (Slams door as he goes into the weight room).
Trainer: Well at least they aren't teasing you about the divorce
A-Rod: Shut up you moron, I'm not paying you to talk or to sit around looking muscular..I mean ....whatever...spot me...and shut up!
Gas prices to come down?
New York Post July 10, 2008
A plastic tank filled with cow gas isn't most people's cup of tea, but scientists in Argentina are anxiously studying what has been collected in the battle against global warming.
Cow farts contain methane - a potent greenhouse gas. Researchers in the cattle-filled country have discovered that cow gas makes up 30 percent of Argentina's greenhouse emissions.
The Institute of Advanced Study of Alternative Fuels has commissioned a study to see if cow farts can be used to take the place of fossil fuels. Other disgusting things that are also being tested include comments on the Daily Kos, and Mickey Kaus' hair which also emit a disgusting order and an unsightly mess. There is an added bonus that Mr. Kaus's pubic hair can be found on both his genital area and on his head as well as the coat of his pet goat.
A plastic tank filled with cow gas isn't most people's cup of tea, but scientists in Argentina are anxiously studying what has been collected in the battle against global warming.
Cow farts contain methane - a potent greenhouse gas. Researchers in the cattle-filled country have discovered that cow gas makes up 30 percent of Argentina's greenhouse emissions.
The Institute of Advanced Study of Alternative Fuels has commissioned a study to see if cow farts can be used to take the place of fossil fuels. Other disgusting things that are also being tested include comments on the Daily Kos, and Mickey Kaus' hair which also emit a disgusting order and an unsightly mess. There is an added bonus that Mr. Kaus's pubic hair can be found on both his genital area and on his head as well as the coat of his pet goat.
Meade sighted at Casino! Film at eleven.
New York Post July 10, 2008
He didn't just lose his shirt at the casino. He lost his pants, too.
A naked man stole a beer and then hijacked a Las Vegas bus - punching out its rear window, forcing the operator off, and then driving it 200 yards before hopping off the moving vehicle.
The man was arrested and given clothes - and a mental evaluation.
He was determined to be a frequent commenter on the internet whose name is being withheld pending disposition of his case.
He was quoted as saying "I never got in so much trouble when I spent my time making funny comments on Trooper York's blog."
He didn't just lose his shirt at the casino. He lost his pants, too.
A naked man stole a beer and then hijacked a Las Vegas bus - punching out its rear window, forcing the operator off, and then driving it 200 yards before hopping off the moving vehicle.
The man was arrested and given clothes - and a mental evaluation.
He was determined to be a frequent commenter on the internet whose name is being withheld pending disposition of his case.
He was quoted as saying "I never got in so much trouble when I spent my time making funny comments on Trooper York's blog."
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tales from Amy's Garden 5
Fiver: There's something very queer about the warren this evening...
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: It's not exactly danger, no it’s just really queer......It seems the lady in the cottage has taken all of the lampshades off of the lights and is laying naked under the bulbs.
Fiver: What will that do?
Hazel: Well I guess that’s the way you can change your color. I mean when Strawberry stays out in the sun his fur starts to get lighter in color.
Fiver: Yes. But she should be careful. You never know what might happen.
Hazel: Well it's better that she does that then if she stays in the garden without any clothes. Don't you remember what happened the last time she did that?
Fiver: Yes, the farmer called the police. They shot her with a dart. They thought anything that furry had to be a wolverine.
Hazel: People are strange sometimes. Especially furry ones.
(Watership Down, 1972)
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: It's not exactly danger, no it’s just really queer......It seems the lady in the cottage has taken all of the lampshades off of the lights and is laying naked under the bulbs.
Fiver: What will that do?
Hazel: Well I guess that’s the way you can change your color. I mean when Strawberry stays out in the sun his fur starts to get lighter in color.
Fiver: Yes. But she should be careful. You never know what might happen.
Hazel: Well it's better that she does that then if she stays in the garden without any clothes. Don't you remember what happened the last time she did that?
Fiver: Yes, the farmer called the police. They shot her with a dart. They thought anything that furry had to be a wolverine.
Hazel: People are strange sometimes. Especially furry ones.
(Watership Down, 1972)
Amy Winehouse never gets old man!
New York Daily News July 9, 2008
Just when you thought Amy Winehouse's life couldn't get any more bizarre, she develops another addiction.
The troubled singer, who has made headlines for her addictions to drugs, is now reportedly hooked on tanning beds.
In a desperate attempt to turn her pasty pale skin to brown, Winehouse, 24, had a sunbed fitted at her London home.
The "Rehab" pop-wreck reportedly dozes off for more than an hour a day under the ultraviolet lamps. Because those lamps release the same kind of harmful radiation as the sun, normal recommendations for tanning are 15-20 minute sessions. Most professionals also recommend at least 48 hours between each session to allow time for the skin to recover.
"She bought it to get rid of scabs that started appearing on her skin," a Winehouse friend told British newspaper The Sun. "Amy can't do anything by halves. This is another addiction that puts her health in danger."
Man the stories just write themselves.
Just when you thought Amy Winehouse's life couldn't get any more bizarre, she develops another addiction.
The troubled singer, who has made headlines for her addictions to drugs, is now reportedly hooked on tanning beds.
In a desperate attempt to turn her pasty pale skin to brown, Winehouse, 24, had a sunbed fitted at her London home.
The "Rehab" pop-wreck reportedly dozes off for more than an hour a day under the ultraviolet lamps. Because those lamps release the same kind of harmful radiation as the sun, normal recommendations for tanning are 15-20 minute sessions. Most professionals also recommend at least 48 hours between each session to allow time for the skin to recover.
"She bought it to get rid of scabs that started appearing on her skin," a Winehouse friend told British newspaper The Sun. "Amy can't do anything by halves. This is another addiction that puts her health in danger."
Man the stories just write themselves.
Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend, The Next Generation
Yankee's Locker Room July 9, 2008
Derek Jeter: Man this freakin' Jesscia Biel keeps calling me man. Why can't she just let it go. (A-Rod struts into the locker room)
Jorge Posada: Hey A-Rod how they hanging. I see that you made the front and the back page today.
A-Rod: Yeah well what can you do. I can't brag but I have been hanging around with Madonna.
Joba Chamberlin: Wow that's amazing Mr. Rodrequiez. I think she went to school with my grandma in Michigan.
Jorge Posada: Yeah that sounds groovy. Don't you think that's tight and out-a-site Derek.
Derek Jeter: Oh yeah man, Right on baby. Hey Alex if that doesn't work out I think I can get you Pat Benatars number if you play your cards right.
A-Rod: Yeah right, well I have to go work out. (Goes into the weight room with his personal trainer)
Trainer: Well that went well.
A-Rod: Shut up you moron. I can replace you with a needle and vial of monkey semen.
Derek Jeter: Man this freakin' Jesscia Biel keeps calling me man. Why can't she just let it go. (A-Rod struts into the locker room)
Jorge Posada: Hey A-Rod how they hanging. I see that you made the front and the back page today.
A-Rod: Yeah well what can you do. I can't brag but I have been hanging around with Madonna.
Joba Chamberlin: Wow that's amazing Mr. Rodrequiez. I think she went to school with my grandma in Michigan.
Jorge Posada: Yeah that sounds groovy. Don't you think that's tight and out-a-site Derek.
Derek Jeter: Oh yeah man, Right on baby. Hey Alex if that doesn't work out I think I can get you Pat Benatars number if you play your cards right.
A-Rod: Yeah right, well I have to go work out. (Goes into the weight room with his personal trainer)
Trainer: Well that went well.
A-Rod: Shut up you moron. I can replace you with a needle and vial of monkey semen.
On line shopping is coming to a computer near you!
Hey we got a great opportunity yesterday. It seems that we will be listed as an online shopping resource on a national television show later in the month and we have to get our act together. We have some items available on line, but we are really stepping up our game. I need to find a photographer to take a bunch of photos of product to post on our shopping cart. Where's Rodney Dangerfield when you really need him?
Hey, where is everybody?
New York Post Weird But True July 9, 2008
Here's a tale involving a goat, a dog and a Mercedes.
An Alabama woman in a Mercedes pulled off an Interstate when she saw the animals playing on the road. The goat hopped on her car and wouldn't get down.
Cops came and put the goat in their cruiser. The dog, obviously wanting to stick with his pal, hoped in for the ride.
"If anybody is missing a goat and dog, they need to let us know," a Limestone County police spokesman said.
Later that afternoon a visitor from Hope, Arkansas arrived at the police station carrying a ball gag, some rope and a big jar of lube. The tourist attempted to obtain the release of the dog and the goat as they were traveling companions who had temporarily been separated. The tourist a Mr. William Jefferson Blythe refused to give his occupation or what his exact relationship was to the goat or the dog so he was not able to obtain their release.
The dog was subsquented released to the custody of a Mr. R.H. Hardin of Sommerville Ohio when he produced documents and photos detailing the relationship. A Mr. Mickey Kaus of Los Angles, California attempted to obtain custody of the goat, but the examination of his photographs led to his incarceration on various charges not to be written about in a family newspaper. Mr. Blythe could not be reached for comment.
Here's a tale involving a goat, a dog and a Mercedes.
An Alabama woman in a Mercedes pulled off an Interstate when she saw the animals playing on the road. The goat hopped on her car and wouldn't get down.
Cops came and put the goat in their cruiser. The dog, obviously wanting to stick with his pal, hoped in for the ride.
"If anybody is missing a goat and dog, they need to let us know," a Limestone County police spokesman said.
Later that afternoon a visitor from Hope, Arkansas arrived at the police station carrying a ball gag, some rope and a big jar of lube. The tourist attempted to obtain the release of the dog and the goat as they were traveling companions who had temporarily been separated. The tourist a Mr. William Jefferson Blythe refused to give his occupation or what his exact relationship was to the goat or the dog so he was not able to obtain their release.
The dog was subsquented released to the custody of a Mr. R.H. Hardin of Sommerville Ohio when he produced documents and photos detailing the relationship. A Mr. Mickey Kaus of Los Angles, California attempted to obtain custody of the goat, but the examination of his photographs led to his incarceration on various charges not to be written about in a family newspaper. Mr. Blythe could not be reached for comment.
Hey Mom, Maxine is here.
New York Post July 9, 2008
Just shut up!
A German woman called cops on a female pal who had come over to chat and wouldn't leave - for 30 hours.
"After several unsuccessful attempts to get her to leave, the woman saw no other solution than to call us," said a police spokesman.
The female pal, a Miss Maxine Weiss of Newport Beach California, persisted in showing her photographs of curios and flatware and Christmas decorations. She also persisted in discussing the personal habits of various bloggers that did not interest anyone. When finally forced to leave, Ms Weiss turned to her friend and said "I'll be back."
Just shut up!
A German woman called cops on a female pal who had come over to chat and wouldn't leave - for 30 hours.
"After several unsuccessful attempts to get her to leave, the woman saw no other solution than to call us," said a police spokesman.
The female pal, a Miss Maxine Weiss of Newport Beach California, persisted in showing her photographs of curios and flatware and Christmas decorations. She also persisted in discussing the personal habits of various bloggers that did not interest anyone. When finally forced to leave, Ms Weiss turned to her friend and said "I'll be back."
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Diamonds are a girls best friend, The Next Generation
New York Post July 8, 2008
Sexy singing siren Madonna stole A-Rod's heart, fueling the obsessive infatuation that helped doom his marriage, a lawyer for his wife said yesterday upon filing divorce papers.
The married Madonna - famous for a long list of lovers in her wild, younger years - captivated the Yankee star to the point that their "relationship" was "the last straw" for his long-suffering wife, Cynthia, said C-Rod's lawyer, Earle Lilly.
Cynthia Rodriguez filed for divorce on the grounds that "the marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the husband's extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct," the lawsuit states.
That "misconduct" presumably includes Alex Rodriguez's relationship with Madge, which his wife says involves the Jewish mystic philosophy kabbalism - and the pop star playing the role of teacher to A-Rod, her doe-eyed, "brainwashed" student.
Lilly told People.com that that oddball match up between the singer and slugger "is an affair of the heart."
He insisted his side isn't claiming that Madonna and A-Rod have had a sexual fling.
"The correct analysis is a 'relationship,' " Lilly said. "Some people categorize an affair as something as sexual infidelity. We're not claiming that."
Equinox Gym Upper West Side of Manhattan. (A-Rod is working out pumping iron when he hears a woman on the treadmill next to him singing along to the music. It's Borderline. It's Madge.}
A-Rod: Hey nice to meet you. I'm Alex Rodriquez. Are you who I think you are?
Madonna: Who me? I'm just a nice little old Jewish lady. You can me Madge.
A-Rod: But I thought you are Madonna.
Madonna/Madge: Well I used to be, but I am not any more. I converted. Now I study Kabbala. And I don't pay retail.
A-Rod: Wow that's very interesting. Do you work out here alot?
Madonna/Madge: All the time big boy. But you have to excuse me, I have to go to Zabars and pick up the gefitle fish and matzo ball soup for shabaas dinner. Oy I'm late.
A-Rod: Nice to meet you. (Too Madge's back as he checks out her ass. A-Rod turns to his trainer). Man I got to get me some of that. Then nobody will be talking about Jeter anymore. I will be the man in New York.
Trainer: It's always about Jeter isn't it A-Rod.
A-Rod: Shut up you moron. I don't pay you to think.
Sexy singing siren Madonna stole A-Rod's heart, fueling the obsessive infatuation that helped doom his marriage, a lawyer for his wife said yesterday upon filing divorce papers.
The married Madonna - famous for a long list of lovers in her wild, younger years - captivated the Yankee star to the point that their "relationship" was "the last straw" for his long-suffering wife, Cynthia, said C-Rod's lawyer, Earle Lilly.
Cynthia Rodriguez filed for divorce on the grounds that "the marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the husband's extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct," the lawsuit states.
That "misconduct" presumably includes Alex Rodriguez's relationship with Madge, which his wife says involves the Jewish mystic philosophy kabbalism - and the pop star playing the role of teacher to A-Rod, her doe-eyed, "brainwashed" student.
Lilly told People.com that that oddball match up between the singer and slugger "is an affair of the heart."
He insisted his side isn't claiming that Madonna and A-Rod have had a sexual fling.
"The correct analysis is a 'relationship,' " Lilly said. "Some people categorize an affair as something as sexual infidelity. We're not claiming that."
Equinox Gym Upper West Side of Manhattan. (A-Rod is working out pumping iron when he hears a woman on the treadmill next to him singing along to the music. It's Borderline. It's Madge.}
A-Rod: Hey nice to meet you. I'm Alex Rodriquez. Are you who I think you are?
Madonna: Who me? I'm just a nice little old Jewish lady. You can me Madge.
A-Rod: But I thought you are Madonna.
Madonna/Madge: Well I used to be, but I am not any more. I converted. Now I study Kabbala. And I don't pay retail.
A-Rod: Wow that's very interesting. Do you work out here alot?
Madonna/Madge: All the time big boy. But you have to excuse me, I have to go to Zabars and pick up the gefitle fish and matzo ball soup for shabaas dinner. Oy I'm late.
A-Rod: Nice to meet you. (Too Madge's back as he checks out her ass. A-Rod turns to his trainer). Man I got to get me some of that. Then nobody will be talking about Jeter anymore. I will be the man in New York.
Trainer: It's always about Jeter isn't it A-Rod.
A-Rod: Shut up you moron. I don't pay you to think.
Hey don't throw stones if you live in glass house.
New York Post July 8, 2008
Former President Bill Clinton told an audience that POWs often suffer "anger" long after the incident - which some took as a swipe at Vietnam vet and presumptive GOP presidential nominee John McCain.
Clinton made the remarks during a speech at the Aspen Ideas Festival on Saturday in Colorado, where he described former South African President Nelson Mandela's forgiveness of his captors.
According to The Atlantic, Clinton said, "If you know anybody who was a POW for any length of time, you will see you go along for months or maybe even years and then something will happen and it will trigger all those bad dreams and it will come back."
McCain spent more than five years in captivity.
When asked for comment, Senator McCain said "Sometimes when you are stuck in a sham of a marriage you will go out and pork anything you can stick your dick in because you hate the castrating bitch you married so much you would fuck a warm towel in Macy's window. You know that marriage to a bitch like Hillary is worse than any POW camp. I can see why he is so angry. Have you seen his face lately. It's so freakin' red he's either so pissed off he can't think straight or he's perfecting his imitation of a tomato."
Former President Bill Clinton told an audience that POWs often suffer "anger" long after the incident - which some took as a swipe at Vietnam vet and presumptive GOP presidential nominee John McCain.
Clinton made the remarks during a speech at the Aspen Ideas Festival on Saturday in Colorado, where he described former South African President Nelson Mandela's forgiveness of his captors.
According to The Atlantic, Clinton said, "If you know anybody who was a POW for any length of time, you will see you go along for months or maybe even years and then something will happen and it will trigger all those bad dreams and it will come back."
McCain spent more than five years in captivity.
When asked for comment, Senator McCain said "Sometimes when you are stuck in a sham of a marriage you will go out and pork anything you can stick your dick in because you hate the castrating bitch you married so much you would fuck a warm towel in Macy's window. You know that marriage to a bitch like Hillary is worse than any POW camp. I can see why he is so angry. Have you seen his face lately. It's so freakin' red he's either so pissed off he can't think straight or he's perfecting his imitation of a tomato."
Born to be Wild?
New York Post Weird but True July 8, 2008
The San Francisco Fire Department is investigating one of its own after an off-duty firefighter was photographed wearing her badge while riding topless on a motorcycle.
Sabine Balden appeared to be wearing her official badge while riding with the "Dykes on Bikes" during the recent Gay Pride Parade. It was pinned to her bustier.
Ms. Balden was apprehended when her elongated breasts got stuck in the spoke of the motorcycle causing both of the riders to tumble to floor.
Officer Justin Sider was quoted as saying "I haven't seen anything like that since my brother put my Willie McCovey rookie card in his bike spokes. The rat bastard."
The San Francisco Fire Department is investigating one of its own after an off-duty firefighter was photographed wearing her badge while riding topless on a motorcycle.
Sabine Balden appeared to be wearing her official badge while riding with the "Dykes on Bikes" during the recent Gay Pride Parade. It was pinned to her bustier.
Ms. Balden was apprehended when her elongated breasts got stuck in the spoke of the motorcycle causing both of the riders to tumble to floor.
Officer Justin Sider was quoted as saying "I haven't seen anything like that since my brother put my Willie McCovey rookie card in his bike spokes. The rat bastard."
What's in a name?
New York Post Weird but True July 8, 2008
Cardiff International Airport in England could be renamed the "Gavin & Stacey" Airport after a popular BBC sitcom.
The Daily Mirror reported that Cardiff officials want to replicate the success Liverpool's airport had in drawing visitors after renaming its terminal after John Lennon.
The BBC sitcom is shot near Cardiff.
Airport marketing boss Cassie Munton said, "Liverpool have done it and we want the same results."
In a related note, Oakland Almedia Airport is also being renamed "I'm Rick James Bitch Airport" after the late Oakland resident.
Cardiff International Airport in England could be renamed the "Gavin & Stacey" Airport after a popular BBC sitcom.
The Daily Mirror reported that Cardiff officials want to replicate the success Liverpool's airport had in drawing visitors after renaming its terminal after John Lennon.
The BBC sitcom is shot near Cardiff.
Airport marketing boss Cassie Munton said, "Liverpool have done it and we want the same results."
In a related note, Oakland Almedia Airport is also being renamed "I'm Rick James Bitch Airport" after the late Oakland resident.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Those frankfurter dogs are no good, I mean they are German after all!
NEW YORK POST Weird but true July 7, 2008
This little piggy went to market; this little piggy got gnawed off by a dog.
A 56-year-old Illinois woman's beloved dachshund chewed off her right big toe while she slept.
Linda Floyd discovered her toe was missing after waking up from a nap. She said she slept through the incident because nerve damage related to her diabetes prevented her from feeling the pain.
The dog, Roscoe, was euthanized.
On a related note, Paris Hilton gave away all of her dogs when she noticed that they all seem to be wearing napkins around their necks. That's not hot.
This little piggy went to market; this little piggy got gnawed off by a dog.
A 56-year-old Illinois woman's beloved dachshund chewed off her right big toe while she slept.
Linda Floyd discovered her toe was missing after waking up from a nap. She said she slept through the incident because nerve damage related to her diabetes prevented her from feeling the pain.
The dog, Roscoe, was euthanized.
On a related note, Paris Hilton gave away all of her dogs when she noticed that they all seem to be wearing napkins around their necks. That's not hot.
Barack Obama's Grandmother in the News!
New York Post Weird But True July 7, 2008
A 91-year-old Wisconsin woman crawled under her car to look for her misplaced keys and got stuck.
"She was pretty well wedged in there," said Greendale Police Chief Rob Dams.
Firefighters lifted the car with a jack to save the woman - who had actually left the keys in the car door.
When questioned, the woman said she was sorry but Barry couldn't find a bus so he had to make do.
A 91-year-old Wisconsin woman crawled under her car to look for her misplaced keys and got stuck.
"She was pretty well wedged in there," said Greendale Police Chief Rob Dams.
Firefighters lifted the car with a jack to save the woman - who had actually left the keys in the car door.
When questioned, the woman said she was sorry but Barry couldn't find a bus so he had to make do.
Typical Red Sox Fan's are at it again!
NEW YORK POST July 7, 2008
A rabid Red Sox fan on Cape Cod bashed a New York man on the head with a baseball bat after he was mistaken for a Yankee fan, cops said.
William Nestor, a commercial diver from Northport, LI, was returning with his family from a Fourth of July fireworks display in Falmouth, Mass., when he was attacked - allegedly because he had New York plates.
"The guy hit me with an aluminum bat," Nestor told The Post after returning home late last night. "I never saw it coming."
Nestor, who was stuck in heavy traffic after leaving the fireworks show at 10 p.m., said he noticed a group of hooligans harassing people in several cars.
But they seemed to be targeting cars with New York plates and cursing at them.
"They were yelling, 'Yankees! Yankees!' and 'F - - - New York' " Nestor, 29, said. "When they saw the plates, they came at me.
"I didn't even know the Yankees and Red Sox were playing" this weekend, added Nestor, who's not a particularly big baseball fan.
The victim was in his car with his wife and parents while his daughter, Kayla, 9, was in a second car with cousins and her aunt and uncle. Nestor's mom, artist Sybil Nestor, said her son asked the mob to calm down.
"William said, 'Hey, guys, I've got the family in the car, would you put a lid on it?' " his mom recalled. "They kept saying stuff, and then they started to approach the car, and William got concerned."
His dad, Bill, said William "stepped out to face the group, and an individual who he had not seen before just stepped out of the second rank of these clowns with a baseball bat and . . . hit him on the head."
The bat thug, identified by cops as Robert Correia, 20, allegedly whacked William's head, body and arms before Grandpa Bill could get into it.
"I'm 69 years old, but I was so pissed off . . . that I swore to myself he wasn't going to hit him a fourth time," Bill said. "I gave [Correia] kind of a football tackle . . . really hard, and got a chokehold on him and flipped him over."
Correia and his cohort took off. But, oddly, Correia walked out of his nearby apartment when cops arrived.
"I said, 'You are the bat boy, aren't you?' And he said, 'Yeah, I'm the bat boy,' " Bill recalled. "And the cops grabbed him immediately."
Correia, now free on bond, was charged with assault. Cops are looking for his cohort.
William Nestor was treated and released at a local hospital. His mom said he was lucky.
"If he caught it on the temple, he could have been killed," she said
What more do you need to hear. Instead of watching the game these idiots are out playing in traffic. Typical Red Sox fan.
A rabid Red Sox fan on Cape Cod bashed a New York man on the head with a baseball bat after he was mistaken for a Yankee fan, cops said.
William Nestor, a commercial diver from Northport, LI, was returning with his family from a Fourth of July fireworks display in Falmouth, Mass., when he was attacked - allegedly because he had New York plates.
"The guy hit me with an aluminum bat," Nestor told The Post after returning home late last night. "I never saw it coming."
Nestor, who was stuck in heavy traffic after leaving the fireworks show at 10 p.m., said he noticed a group of hooligans harassing people in several cars.
But they seemed to be targeting cars with New York plates and cursing at them.
"They were yelling, 'Yankees! Yankees!' and 'F - - - New York' " Nestor, 29, said. "When they saw the plates, they came at me.
"I didn't even know the Yankees and Red Sox were playing" this weekend, added Nestor, who's not a particularly big baseball fan.
The victim was in his car with his wife and parents while his daughter, Kayla, 9, was in a second car with cousins and her aunt and uncle. Nestor's mom, artist Sybil Nestor, said her son asked the mob to calm down.
"William said, 'Hey, guys, I've got the family in the car, would you put a lid on it?' " his mom recalled. "They kept saying stuff, and then they started to approach the car, and William got concerned."
His dad, Bill, said William "stepped out to face the group, and an individual who he had not seen before just stepped out of the second rank of these clowns with a baseball bat and . . . hit him on the head."
The bat thug, identified by cops as Robert Correia, 20, allegedly whacked William's head, body and arms before Grandpa Bill could get into it.
"I'm 69 years old, but I was so pissed off . . . that I swore to myself he wasn't going to hit him a fourth time," Bill said. "I gave [Correia] kind of a football tackle . . . really hard, and got a chokehold on him and flipped him over."
Correia and his cohort took off. But, oddly, Correia walked out of his nearby apartment when cops arrived.
"I said, 'You are the bat boy, aren't you?' And he said, 'Yeah, I'm the bat boy,' " Bill recalled. "And the cops grabbed him immediately."
Correia, now free on bond, was charged with assault. Cops are looking for his cohort.
William Nestor was treated and released at a local hospital. His mom said he was lucky.
"If he caught it on the temple, he could have been killed," she said
What more do you need to hear. Instead of watching the game these idiots are out playing in traffic. Typical Red Sox fan.
Top Ten Vice Presidential Picks for Barack Obama
10. The Wicked Stepmother in Cinderella. If he isn’t going to take Hillary, he should take the closest approximation. Other than Margaret Hamilton. You don’t want her since you don’t want to deal with the flying monkeys.
9. Madonna. Looks like she is available and she has enough money to invest in the campaign. Plus she is Jewish now so that will reassure everyone in Miami. Sort of like Mayor Bloomberg only with better morals.
8. Paris Hilton. He might want to pick someone who has fewer accomplishments than he does and that’s a narrow field. But good old Paris would fit the bill. That’s hot.
7. Jackie Chan. He has a lot of experience working with a skinny black dude with no talent. So this won’t be a stretch.
6. Kennedy the ex-MTV personality with the funny glasses. Haven’t heard from her in a long time so she must have stayed out of trouble. Plus it gets a Kennedy on the ticket. Just think of the bumper stickers: Obama/Kennedy ’08. It’s a natural.
5. Bill Richardson. He isn’t going to pick him but it is a law that he has to be on every one of these lists made by any blogger. See the EOC rulings regarding fairness and diversity in campaign snark page 60 paragraph 18.
4. Mario Cuomo. Hey someone had to mention him. Brings all that Mafia money. Definitely an advantage in West Virginia. Plus the Capone gang owes New York one since FDR’s third election.
3. Cindy Sheehan. It would work out best if he has someone on the ticket with the same world view. And I think Angela Davis is still on the lam.
2. David Archuleta from American Idol. Proven vote getter and used to being Number 2Plus he will be guarantied to close his eye which is what you really want in a vice
president.
1. Tom Hanks. He served in Vietnam in Forrest Gump and went to the moon in Apollo 13. Understands the Aids issue and is really just a little kid in a grown up body. And who doesn’t like Tom Hanks? I mean I know he started his career wearing woman’s clothes but that doesn’t seems to have been a problem for Joe Biden so why not? Tom Hanks is perfect.
9. Madonna. Looks like she is available and she has enough money to invest in the campaign. Plus she is Jewish now so that will reassure everyone in Miami. Sort of like Mayor Bloomberg only with better morals.
8. Paris Hilton. He might want to pick someone who has fewer accomplishments than he does and that’s a narrow field. But good old Paris would fit the bill. That’s hot.
7. Jackie Chan. He has a lot of experience working with a skinny black dude with no talent. So this won’t be a stretch.
6. Kennedy the ex-MTV personality with the funny glasses. Haven’t heard from her in a long time so she must have stayed out of trouble. Plus it gets a Kennedy on the ticket. Just think of the bumper stickers: Obama/Kennedy ’08. It’s a natural.
5. Bill Richardson. He isn’t going to pick him but it is a law that he has to be on every one of these lists made by any blogger. See the EOC rulings regarding fairness and diversity in campaign snark page 60 paragraph 18.
4. Mario Cuomo. Hey someone had to mention him. Brings all that Mafia money. Definitely an advantage in West Virginia. Plus the Capone gang owes New York one since FDR’s third election.
3. Cindy Sheehan. It would work out best if he has someone on the ticket with the same world view. And I think Angela Davis is still on the lam.
2. David Archuleta from American Idol. Proven vote getter and used to being Number 2Plus he will be guarantied to close his eye which is what you really want in a vice
president.
1. Tom Hanks. He served in Vietnam in Forrest Gump and went to the moon in Apollo 13. Understands the Aids issue and is really just a little kid in a grown up body. And who doesn’t like Tom Hanks? I mean I know he started his career wearing woman’s clothes but that doesn’t seems to have been a problem for Joe Biden so why not? Tom Hanks is perfect.
Yankees salvage split.
Caught the end of the Yankee game where we salvaged a split with the Red Sox. This new kid Gardner had the hit to win the game after Mariano pitched the final two innings in relief. Since Damon is hurt, this kid will be playing a lot and that's great. He will bring some young legs and enthusiasm like Melky and Duncan did last year. I just hope Giradi stays with the young kids and doesn't go back to the old vets like Torre did with Matsui and Shefield last year. Let the young kids play and blend into the new team. We need to get younger and faster and have more enthusiasm. Maybe Hughes and Kennedy will make it back at the end of the year. If we hang around for a while I think we can make a move in the dog days of August and down the stretch.
Plus you got to love Joba. Buzzed the Sox's right over the coconut. Good stuff. And Giradi got thrown out of the game for arguing. Maybe we can muster up emotion about something other than who A-Rod is boinking.
Plus you got to love Joba. Buzzed the Sox's right over the coconut. Good stuff. And Giradi got thrown out of the game for arguing. Maybe we can muster up emotion about something other than who A-Rod is boinking.
Takin' it easy on the Fourth...err the Sixth!
Sorry for the lack of posting this weekend but I decided to relax and sleep. We had someone else run the store and I spent all day Sunday sleeping. After church I came home and lay down and that's all she wrote. Didn't get up till late in the evening. So we had a little barbecue and then caught a movie on pay per view.
It was that cop movie with the Johnny Cash guy, Marky Mark and Tom Hagen from the Godfather. It was supposed to be about the Russian mob in the eighties and man it was ludicrous in the extreme. Lot's of unbelievable action. The gun fight at the end of the movie was ridiculous. The NYPD never had a shoot out that was that bad in it's entire history. No I take that back. They did with Monk Eastman on the Lower East side in about 1921. But since then, no way. Anyway we caught that. I wanted to watch the ABA movie with Will Ferrel. But had to compromise to avoid the dreaded chick flick.
Take those victories when you can.
It was that cop movie with the Johnny Cash guy, Marky Mark and Tom Hagen from the Godfather. It was supposed to be about the Russian mob in the eighties and man it was ludicrous in the extreme. Lot's of unbelievable action. The gun fight at the end of the movie was ridiculous. The NYPD never had a shoot out that was that bad in it's entire history. No I take that back. They did with Monk Eastman on the Lower East side in about 1921. But since then, no way. Anyway we caught that. I wanted to watch the ABA movie with Will Ferrel. But had to compromise to avoid the dreaded chick flick.
Take those victories when you can.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
The Babe is the Man.
New York Post July 5, 2008
Babe Ruth's family is pushing the Bambino's little-known civil-rights activism in a bid to convince baseball officials to retire the number he wore - No. 3 - across Major League Baseball.
Ruth is more closely associated with popularizing the home run and keeping baseball alive in America's darkest economic days, but his kin say he was a dedicated hater of fascism and racism.
Ruth's family has been lobbying baseball to have all teams retire his number. Only Jackie Robinson, the Brooklyn Dodger Hall of Famer who broke baseball's color barrier, has his No. 42 immortalized in all Major League stadiums.
"I'm saying retiring my grandfather's number would not only not water down Jackie's memory, it'd enhance it," granddaughter Linda Ruth Tosetti told The Post.
Tosetti's push to retire her grandfather's No. 3 has had only moderate success - fewer than 2,000 online-petition signatures.
But the Durham, Conn., homemaker hopes to score more political runs in the new effort to paint Ruth as a champion of human rights long before baseball's
integration in 1947.
Ruth was, in fact, a documented opponent of Hitler's Germany.
He signed a famous public letter in 1942, denouncing the slaughter of Jews in Europe. The letter, filled with names of famous Americans of German descent, is credited with raising US awareness about the Holocaust.
Now Tosetti claims she'll prove that then-baseball commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis threatened to ban Ruth, who hit 714 lifetime home runs, from baseball because he barnstormed with Negro League stars in the off-season.
"Landis wanted him to stop," Tosetti said. "[Major League Baseball officials] didn't want to know how good [black players] were, but my grandfather stood by them."
Tosetti declined to reveal her proof that Landis - who, on the record, opposed barnstorming for economic reasons - didn't want Ruth touring with African-Americans.
The Babe's granddaughter claims she's working with a team of researchers to produce a documentary that will prove Ruth's civil-rights advocacy.
Friends and family of late Pittsburgh Pirates great Roberto Clemente - the Puerto Rican baseball pioneer who died in 1972 while rushing earthquake relief supplies to Nicaragua - want No. 21 retired in all MLB parks, too.
What many people don't know is that bench jockeys in the twenties accused the Babe of being black. Now he grew up in Baltimore at the turn of the last century and had many of the attitudes of that time and place. But unlike other titans of baseball he had relationships and friendships with black people. Unlike Cap Anson who single handedly stopped blacks from playing in the league and Ty Cobb who was famous for beating black men who he claimed "sassed" him. Cobb always called Ruth by his big league nickname of "Nigger Lips." The bench jockeys of the time taunted Ruth that his mother who worked in the family tavern was a whore and that his real father was black. The rumor is that it was taunting along these lines that lead to the famous called shot home run against the Cubs. Ruth was sexually adventurous and often partied in black night clubs and speakeasies and enjoyed the "company" of black women. All in all he was enlightened by the standard of his times.
But I still don't think he would have fucked Madonna.
The Babe had standards, ya know.
Babe Ruth's family is pushing the Bambino's little-known civil-rights activism in a bid to convince baseball officials to retire the number he wore - No. 3 - across Major League Baseball.
Ruth is more closely associated with popularizing the home run and keeping baseball alive in America's darkest economic days, but his kin say he was a dedicated hater of fascism and racism.
Ruth's family has been lobbying baseball to have all teams retire his number. Only Jackie Robinson, the Brooklyn Dodger Hall of Famer who broke baseball's color barrier, has his No. 42 immortalized in all Major League stadiums.
"I'm saying retiring my grandfather's number would not only not water down Jackie's memory, it'd enhance it," granddaughter Linda Ruth Tosetti told The Post.
Tosetti's push to retire her grandfather's No. 3 has had only moderate success - fewer than 2,000 online-petition signatures.
But the Durham, Conn., homemaker hopes to score more political runs in the new effort to paint Ruth as a champion of human rights long before baseball's
integration in 1947.
Ruth was, in fact, a documented opponent of Hitler's Germany.
He signed a famous public letter in 1942, denouncing the slaughter of Jews in Europe. The letter, filled with names of famous Americans of German descent, is credited with raising US awareness about the Holocaust.
Now Tosetti claims she'll prove that then-baseball commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis threatened to ban Ruth, who hit 714 lifetime home runs, from baseball because he barnstormed with Negro League stars in the off-season.
"Landis wanted him to stop," Tosetti said. "[Major League Baseball officials] didn't want to know how good [black players] were, but my grandfather stood by them."
Tosetti declined to reveal her proof that Landis - who, on the record, opposed barnstorming for economic reasons - didn't want Ruth touring with African-Americans.
The Babe's granddaughter claims she's working with a team of researchers to produce a documentary that will prove Ruth's civil-rights advocacy.
Friends and family of late Pittsburgh Pirates great Roberto Clemente - the Puerto Rican baseball pioneer who died in 1972 while rushing earthquake relief supplies to Nicaragua - want No. 21 retired in all MLB parks, too.
What many people don't know is that bench jockeys in the twenties accused the Babe of being black. Now he grew up in Baltimore at the turn of the last century and had many of the attitudes of that time and place. But unlike other titans of baseball he had relationships and friendships with black people. Unlike Cap Anson who single handedly stopped blacks from playing in the league and Ty Cobb who was famous for beating black men who he claimed "sassed" him. Cobb always called Ruth by his big league nickname of "Nigger Lips." The bench jockeys of the time taunted Ruth that his mother who worked in the family tavern was a whore and that his real father was black. The rumor is that it was taunting along these lines that lead to the famous called shot home run against the Cubs. Ruth was sexually adventurous and often partied in black night clubs and speakeasies and enjoyed the "company" of black women. All in all he was enlightened by the standard of his times.
But I still don't think he would have fucked Madonna.
The Babe had standards, ya know.
I thought he was the bicycle thief.
New York Post Police Blotter July 5, 2008
Police stopped a Long Island man at the Queens Midtown Tunnel for driving with a cracked windshield and without license plates and also found that his driver's license had been suspended eight times, authorities said.
Marcello Mastroianni, 37, was in a 1996 Mercury Villager last Sunday near the tunnel entrance when cops pulled him over.
Where the hell was Sophia Loren while all this was going on?
Police stopped a Long Island man at the Queens Midtown Tunnel for driving with a cracked windshield and without license plates and also found that his driver's license had been suspended eight times, authorities said.
Marcello Mastroianni, 37, was in a 1996 Mercury Villager last Sunday near the tunnel entrance when cops pulled him over.
Where the hell was Sophia Loren while all this was going on?
Bring Me Some Head for Manny Ramirez
Deep in the bowels of Disney World is a cryogenic crypt. It holds the remains of several celebrities who have been frozen in the hope they can be reanimated. Walt Disney. Howard Hughes. Richard Nixon. Joan Crawford. The remains of the evil and poisonous cadre who have sold their souls in the hope of eternal life.
But now everything has changed. They have managed to reanimate one of the evil ones. The disembodied head of Ted Williams has come back to life. His acolytes approach and grovel before his noggin encased in a large glass receptacle.
Theo Epstein: Oh mighty one, what can we do to distract our fans from the fact that we are not if first place. For some reason our fans are panicking and the Damn Yankees fans are not even though they are below us in the standings.
The Head of Ted Williams: It is the women you fool. The Yankees always get the girl. They’re stars are always banging beautiful actresses and singers. Joe had Marilyn. Derek Jeter has done every hot girl in Hollywood. Even that douche bag A-Rod is banging Madonna. Why can’t our stars get on the front page with hot women?
Theo Epstein: Well there is one problem with that Oh Mighty One.
The Head of Ted Williams: What’s the problem?
Theo Epstein: Well, our whole team is gay.
The Head of Ted Williams: Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Let them screw Tom Cruise or the Doogie Howser Guy or John Travolta or somebody to distract the fans.
Theo Epstein: But all our fans are gay. And you know they won’t get distracted, they will just get jealous.
But now everything has changed. They have managed to reanimate one of the evil ones. The disembodied head of Ted Williams has come back to life. His acolytes approach and grovel before his noggin encased in a large glass receptacle.
Theo Epstein: Oh mighty one, what can we do to distract our fans from the fact that we are not if first place. For some reason our fans are panicking and the Damn Yankees fans are not even though they are below us in the standings.
The Head of Ted Williams: It is the women you fool. The Yankees always get the girl. They’re stars are always banging beautiful actresses and singers. Joe had Marilyn. Derek Jeter has done every hot girl in Hollywood. Even that douche bag A-Rod is banging Madonna. Why can’t our stars get on the front page with hot women?
Theo Epstein: Well there is one problem with that Oh Mighty One.
The Head of Ted Williams: What’s the problem?
Theo Epstein: Well, our whole team is gay.
The Head of Ted Williams: Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Let them screw Tom Cruise or the Doogie Howser Guy or John Travolta or somebody to distract the fans.
Theo Epstein: But all our fans are gay. And you know they won’t get distracted, they will just get jealous.
Poor Man's Almanac
New York Post Weird But True July 5, 2008
They may be hundreds of years late, but they were just in time for the Fourth of July.
A Benjamin Franklin impersonator married an actress who plays Betsy Ross in front of Philadelphia's Independence Hall.
Newlyweds Ralph Archibold and Linda White - as well as their guests - were in costume.
I hope he got a pre-nup. And I thought Betsy was doing General Washington. Tramp.
I wonder if she is gonna run off and screw to Paris to screw Francis Scott Key while old Ben goes to hang out at Madonna's Manhatten Pad.
They may be hundreds of years late, but they were just in time for the Fourth of July.
A Benjamin Franklin impersonator married an actress who plays Betsy Ross in front of Philadelphia's Independence Hall.
Newlyweds Ralph Archibold and Linda White - as well as their guests - were in costume.
I hope he got a pre-nup. And I thought Betsy was doing General Washington. Tramp.
I wonder if she is gonna run off and screw to Paris to screw Francis Scott Key while old Ben goes to hang out at Madonna's Manhatten Pad.
New from Santa Victoria's Secret.
New York Post Weird But True July 5, 2008
An angry Italian man was busted for shooting at his neighbor's underwear with a rifle.
Massimo Lazzaretti, 69, shot holes in the woman's underwear as it hung on a clothesline.
"The two neighbors had fallen out some time ago, and he said he thought that by leaving bullet holes in her underwear, he would frighten her enough to stay away from him," a cop said.
Holy underwear Batman, those Guineas are strange.
An angry Italian man was busted for shooting at his neighbor's underwear with a rifle.
Massimo Lazzaretti, 69, shot holes in the woman's underwear as it hung on a clothesline.
"The two neighbors had fallen out some time ago, and he said he thought that by leaving bullet holes in her underwear, he would frighten her enough to stay away from him," a cop said.
Holy underwear Batman, those Guineas are strange.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Lindsey Lohan better watch out.
New York Post Weird but True June 30, 2008
The Chinese have gone hog wild over a resilient little piggy who survived being buried in rubble for 36 days after the devastating earthquake in Sichuan province.
The porker - nicknamed Pig Strong Will - is being hailed as a symbol of Chinese endurance.
There's even talk of a movie deal.
The last animal with a similar burst of popularity in China was the 14th century pet chicken of the last emperor of the Ming Dynasty. When confronted by an invading army, the emperor sent this brave fowl to satisfy the bizarre lusts of General Tsao and his officers who raped the bird and consumed it's flesh. This brave bird is commemorated on the menus of every Chinese restaurant to this very day.
The Chinese have gone hog wild over a resilient little piggy who survived being buried in rubble for 36 days after the devastating earthquake in Sichuan province.
The porker - nicknamed Pig Strong Will - is being hailed as a symbol of Chinese endurance.
There's even talk of a movie deal.
The last animal with a similar burst of popularity in China was the 14th century pet chicken of the last emperor of the Ming Dynasty. When confronted by an invading army, the emperor sent this brave fowl to satisfy the bizarre lusts of General Tsao and his officers who raped the bird and consumed it's flesh. This brave bird is commemorated on the menus of every Chinese restaurant to this very day.
Dog Day Afternoon
New York Post Weird But True July 1, 2008
An Oklahoma woman was busted for bestiality after her son stumbled on a trove of homemade movies showing her having sex with dogs.
Diane Sue Whalen, 54, was charged with crimes against nature, as was Donald Roy Seigfried, 55, her alleged partner in a movie-production business. The tapes and three dogs were seized.
A third suspect, Mr. R H Hardin of Sommerfield, Ohio is also wanted for questioning as a person of interest to the authorities.
I wonder if it was ok to take pictures of the dogs naked. Rh is in a lot of trouble.
Wait a minute. I thought Seigfried liked tigers. Did he switch teams or something?
An Oklahoma woman was busted for bestiality after her son stumbled on a trove of homemade movies showing her having sex with dogs.
Diane Sue Whalen, 54, was charged with crimes against nature, as was Donald Roy Seigfried, 55, her alleged partner in a movie-production business. The tapes and three dogs were seized.
A third suspect, Mr. R H Hardin of Sommerfield, Ohio is also wanted for questioning as a person of interest to the authorities.
I wonder if it was ok to take pictures of the dogs naked. Rh is in a lot of trouble.
Wait a minute. I thought Seigfried liked tigers. Did he switch teams or something?
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