So here is your phone you just have to wait for the comet part duex

So the wife insist that we had to go back to the fuckin' Apple store since her phone won't hold a charge. She calls up Apple and it turns out that we have some insurance bullshit and they were just supposed to give us a new phone. Imagine that! Soul patch guy didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. We couldn't get an appointment until 8pm at night so we cabbed it into the city after we closed the store.

Now the store was a lot less crowed since they were not having a concert so we were able to get help right away. The dude that was helping us was typical. Dirty, smelling and wearing one of those knit caps that the Smurfs wear. He looked like a fuckin' idiot. And this times looks were not deceiving in this particular case. First he tried to tell us nothing was wrong with the phone but we insisted he look up the account and could see the notes that we were authorized a new phone. So he disappears into the back and come back half an hour later with the phone. He has to call our carrier and change the chip and what not but we finally got out of there with a new phone. The wife wanted to look at the computers and Mac Books but I wasn't having any of it. I hate Apple. I don't want to buy any of their shit. Everybody I know who has it complains about how it is so fucked up. So the wife askes me what kind of new computer I want to buy.

I tell her a real computer. You know one with those punch cards that you have to put in the slots like I had to use in college. Now those were the days!

Anyway we decided to eat in the city again. We tried to use her I-pad to go on "Chow Hound" or "Urban Daddy" because they tell you what restaruants are in the area. And guess what. The fucking I-pad didn't work in the fucking Apple Store!

So I said fuck it lets just go outside and wander around Soho and see what we can find.

It was the right choice.

So here is your phone you just have to wait for the comet.

In 1975 I went to "Crazy Eddies" to buy my first calculator. It was a Casio and had big buttons and could do all kinds of cool calculations on it. Much better than the adding machines we were used to in the accounting biz at the time.It was sold to me by Irving Shapiro who was wearing a shirt and tie and was very knowledgeable about the product without overselling it.

At the beginning of the week the wife started busting my chops that we had to go to the Apple store to get her phone fixed. It kept shutting off and not working properly and she was getting very frustrated. So we decided to go on our day off which is Tuesday to get it fixed and have a day in the city. What a fiasco.

We called for an appointment at the Apple store in Soho and the only one we could get was at 5pm, Primetime for shitheads. I had never been in the Apple store and didn't know what to expect. When you get there they take your name and put it in their I-pad which I guess gets it into the system. Then you sit at the "Genius Bar" and wait till they call your name. Which took about an hour.

Now I was looking around at all the workers and customers and other than one other older couple there was one word to describe them all: Scievy. They all looked like they didn't wash. Everyone of the employee wore jeans and a red apple t-shirt and sneakers and looked like they were either homeless or they were waiting for the fuckin' comet to show up. They had dreads or soul patches or tons of tats or funky dirty knit hats. WHAT THE FUCK! WHERE WAS IRVING SHAPIRO FROM LEVITTOWN WITH THIS THREE PIECE SUIT!!!!!!

The customers were even worse. Some dude in a knit cap sat next to us for two hours and didn't do anything but nod out. Nobody approached him to find out what was what. I had to keep a hawk eye on him and the wife's purse so they didn't disappear together. He must been hanging out until it was time to go push someone in front of the train. WHAT THE FUCK APPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally this hipster douchenozzle with a soul patch and a dirty knit cap calls our name. He goes over the problem and says he has to wipe the phone. So of course the wife has to back up her photos. She had 5,000 photos on her phone. Yes that right. 5,000. She had the highest storage and memory on the phone so we had to sit there for two hours for the photo's to download. Then the douche wipes the phone and says she just has to put the apps back on and everything should be fine.

In the meantime they were having a concert at the Apple Store. I guess to drum up business they have live music. Some young Justin Beiber type dude sang. There was a huge crowd of young girls who weren't buying anything but I guess there must have been some reason for that.

We finally finish our business with the wiped phone and got to leave four hours later. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Of course the wife had to buy some Apple accessories shit so that took a little bit of time.

We get out and decide to go out to dinner at one of our favorites 'Incognito." (More on that in another post)
When we get home guess what happens? The I-phone is still broke. It keeps shutting off on it's own and not working even when there are no apps or programs running to screw it up.

The wife tells me we have to back to the Apple Store.

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!