Showing posts with label Release the Kraken. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Release the Kraken. Show all posts

Saturday, May 1, 2010

And you're little dog too!


So we are having a rockin' Saturday with a full store and a store full of my customers. Now not everyone who comes into the store is one of "My Customers." It's sort of like being a "True Yankee." You see when I opened the store some of my friends in the neighborhood said it could never last. I told them I wasn't counting on the people in the neighborhood because they don't go for spit. My true customers come from out of town. So I had a full room with girls from Puerto Rico, Connecticut, Long Island, Atlantic City and Chicago. Then we had an incident.


This hipster dofous bitch comes in carrying a little yappy dog. I am behind the counter and tell her "Sorry Miss No Dogs." She goes "But I am carrying it." I said "Well our policy is no dogs."

"Well I think that's a shitty policy, this is a dog neighborhood."
Now I have lived here all my life and this twat probably moved here six months ago. I was going to give her my classic reply that I stole from Feech in the Soprano's "Good thing for me I don't give uh-goots what you think" But the wife got to her first. And unfortunately for stupid yuppie bitch,.........she released the Kraken!

The wife was in the back of the store and goes "Listen this is my policy. I used to let dogs in until two of them peed on my carpet. I don't have to justify what I do to anybody." "Well I don't have a kid, I have a dog and I should be able to bring him into the store." So I go from behind the counter "I wouldn't let your kid pee on the floor either sweetheart."

All this time she is standing in the doorway with the dog. My wife starts walk toward and she retreats and goes "Fuck you. I am going to blog about this" and gives my wife the finger as she runs away. The wife gets the door and goes "You crossed over the line bitch and I better not see you again."

She is gonna blog about it. Ooooohhhhhh!! This twat is not one of my customers and her two friends are not my clients either. So she can go fuck herself sideways.

It is perfectly reasonable to not alow dogs in a high end women's clothing boutique. You can't hold the dog in one hand and touch the clothes then switch hands and get dog hair on the clothes.l But the point is we have a sign that says "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone." That allows us to toss the people who want to start a problem.

This dumb bitch didn't know how close she came to catching a fucking beating. This isn't a dog neighborhood. It's a guinea neighborhood. She has no idea how lucky she is. She would have looked very strange running down Court Street with a little yappy dog shoved up her ass.

The problems of a shopkeeper.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

It looks good for Gabby on SNL this Saturday


Well the stylist took a lot of clothes for Gabby to wear on SNL this Saturday. They didn't have any wardrobe for her so they had to get outfits for all the skits and the monlouge and introducing the band and pretty much everything. So when it is all said and done I am hopefull that she will wear some of our best stuff for the girls at that end of our sizing. In fact she is not unusual as we fit many women in her size. It would have been best if she could have come to the store for the wife to put together outfits but the stylist is one of the very few that knows what she is doing so it should work out ok.


They want to give us tickets to the show but I hope they can't arrange it in time. I want to be home in my easy chair sipping wine instead of a nosebleed seat in Manhattan at 1 in the fucking morning. But hey I am an old man and if I balk at going the wife is gonna release the Kraken. So if the stylist comes through with the tickets I might have to go. Crap.