Oy my little yiddisher pickel

"I miss you ricpic."
"You never come around anymore. You don't write me poems the way you used to when we were keeping company."
"Remember when we lived side by side in Brownstones in Crown Heights. With your friend the Crack Emcee."
"Those were the days."

I always schedule it wrong!!

At the risk of displaying my  psychological problems I have to post a photo of my lunch at Ben's Kosher Deli last week. I fucked up. Again.

I am going this Friday for an echo cardiogram and I ate out three times last week. We had Thai food one night and Marco Polo another. Then we went for lunch on Friday at Ben's so I got a full complement of bad foods in my gut. I hope that doesn't screw up my numbers. I don't think it will. I have been pretty careful the rest of the time so lets hope I get a good report.

Let me tell you it was great. I had a big bowl of matzo ball soup and then a pastrami on rye. And they were the first ones to get back the square Knishes that have been missing for months because of a strike at the factory. Man eating that Knish was better than eating ice cream.

Hey ricpic is back from vacation.....

But he doesn't want to talk about it.

You see it wasn't exactly kosher.

Oy my littly Yiddisher Pickel

"No I can not marry you Mr. Grit. You seem like a very nice man and you can really sing but my heart belongs to another."
"Weeelllll GGGOOOLLLEEEEE Miss Picon who could love you more than me?'
"Why my sweet dear ricpic. We communicate by sending each other letters. I roll them up and put them into a bottle and throw it into the mikvah in Williamsburg. It's so romantic."
"Damn. Well I guess I will just have to go out and molest a pumpkin who will later commit suicide."
"Oy."

TRIPLE PLAY!

ricpic said...
TRIPLE PLAY!!!


Not sure about this, but it may be the only one in Yankee histoire.

The last one was in the 1970's. So to speak.

Ricpic gets and offer he has to refuse......

"What?"
"You want me to play the rusty trombone?"
"You have the wrong number boobula. You need to talk to Titus."

Women ricpic wouldn't bang for $1000, Alex.

But then who would?

Except for Cedarford.

Commentor Memories 168 Ricpic lets his freak flag fly

Ricpic is very modest but he wanted share with us the reason he was chosen most popular Mensch in the Forest Hills Hadassah in 1979.

He was the lifeguard in the Mikva and he didn't even have to use his hands.

You magnificent bastard!

Commentor Memories Number 146: What ricpic was doing instead of going to shul on Rush-a-homa!

I mean the kid was precocious I tell ya!

Moneyball

"Ricpic.....over here!"

Commenter Memories Number 142: Ricpic was Rico Suave at the Yashiva Beth Shalom mixer

He had it all going on. Just sayn'

The Eyes have it!

ricpic said... Us old folks appreciate the change to big font 

Just sayn'

Oy my little yiddisher pickel,

"Oy why do you make me dress up in my french maid's outfit ricpic?"
"What would Rabbi Glickstein think if he knew?"
"Of course he makes me dress up like a cossack."
"I will never do this again if my name isn't Molly Picon!"

Happy Paddy's Day Ricpic

Ricpic said......

I love Patricks Day. I don't call it Saint Patrick's because we Jews don't believe in Saints. But we do believe in corned beef so on the day I get together with Scholmo and Hershy and Moishe and we hit a few Shabbos table for some Corned Beef and Manischewitz.

Oy my yiddisher pickel it is a good time!

Marilyn's Diary

My Uncle Herman was a very talented man. He was a great baseball player. He was a wonderful husband and a great father. And he was the most considerate and passionate lover that you could ever have.

But he was so much more than that. He was very well read. He was 547 years old after all and knew many famous literary figures. He hung around with Lord Byron and I am pretty sure that he had a love affair with Mary Shelley. Oh and he told me he had banged Jane Austen and was the model for Mr. Darcy. I could see that.

But Uncle Herman's passion was poetry. He loved to compose poems. Mainly about decomposing and reanimation's but that is another story. He was always going to poetry readings at coffee houses and schools and what not. He once let Allen Ginsberg paint him while he was naked. Sylvia Plath killed herself when he wouldn't let her give a rim job anymore. But his favorite poet of all time was an obscure talent who was a genius who had never been recognized.

He met him at the Jewish Theatre of Santa Monica. It was a young Hebrew Poet who went by the name of ricpic. He was an astounding talent. He was the best that Uncle Herman had ever seen. But unfortunately he got involved with Molly Picon and his heart was broken. He retired to upstate New York to lick his wounds. Uncle Herman loved to read me his poetry while he licked my twa.......errr while were drinking lemonade in the back yard.

To this very day when I hear a yiddish couplet I get wet.

I miss my Uncle Herman.

Our poet laureate!

ricpic said...

Black coffee and cigarettes,

Lonely rooms above the cement abyss:

Such was the dream of romantic youth,

Sealed by rights with a fatal kiss.

I don't really understand it but ok if you say so!

ricpic said...

Hey, you gotta post visuals of the Rubens in Aviator Glasses if you're gonna bring up 70 over 30. I get the hots just thinkin' on her....of her.

Whatever floats your boat.

Oy my little yiddisher pickel

"Ripic I am gonna knock you on your keister."
"Where have you been. You haven't writtin me a poem in months."
"What so you are occupying Hester Street?"
"Don't make me come through the time machine and knock you out."

One Adam 12......See the Yenta

"What seems to be the problem Ma'am?"

"It's my son ricpic. He doesn't want to go to schul. He won't play with his dradle. He is eating Ham and cheese. And he is obessed with shiksa whores."

"I can't deal with this. This is too meta."

"What like his cousin Zubin? What are you talking about your goyisher dummy. Take his skinny ass to jail right this minute!"

"Sorry we can't do that Ma'am."

"Why do I pay you salary? Oy! Let's go you shemdrake. Enough with this goyisher nonsense."

True Stories of the Jersey Shore

Hey you never know when a Guns and Roses concert is going to break out.