Don't be a Neigh Sayer!

Sixty Grit says not to be a "neigh sayer" but how can you help it when Sarah Jessica Horseface is involved.

I am mean really....WTF.

Whose that Dick?

Wait a minute.

Wrong Nixon.

She wants nothing to do with dick. So to speak.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Whose that Dick?

"How the hell do you do that Chow?"
"It is easy Mr. President. And it is Chou not Chow."
"Iceberg, Goldberg what do I give a shit. I can't eat with this fuckin' pick up sticks. No wonder you Chinamen are all so skinny. Except for Mao. What's up with that shit."
"Oh he has thirteen year old girls put the food right in his mouth."
"Shit, him and Elvis. See what happens when you are a star."

Celebrity Cameltoe Corner with an added 'Whose that Girl" Chaser

Here is some vintage celebrity Cameltoe Corner with Cameltoe in Outer Space.

Oh and "Whose that Girl?"

Things that will only amuse Meade and Me

Hey I hear that Rush mentioned the blogger lady on his show today. You just never know where his eyes might fall. Just Sayn'

Whose that girl?

It's always shark week with this spicy little number.

Whose that girl?

Did you ever have a Nightmare....

Like the Crack Emcee where you drank so much you woke up the next day with two heads... and one of them was Lou Dobbs?

Whose that Dick?

"Well let me see if I can sink this put."
" A mere bag of shells Mr. President a mere bag of shells."
"Easy for you to say....do you know who hard it is to find a pair of wing-tip golf shoes?"
"Uuuuuuu looks like you missed it Mr. President."
"What a fuckin' gyp. I hate this shit. Get that jew Kissenger on the phone. I am gonna bomb those fuckin Cambodians."
"And aaaawwaaaayyyyy we go!!!!"

Man I was freaking busy today

Cyber Monday was crazy. We had a 20% off sale and we sold like crazy. Many of our great customers took advantage to get some good buys. I shipped out a lot of stuff.

Today's Gratuitous Bathtub Photo also asks Whose that Girl

Yes who is that girl?

You know her. You love her. You love her bubbly personality. So to speak.

Whose that girl?

Commenter Memories Number 54 Beth has a Happy Thanksgiving

Our good friend Beth emailed us this snapshot of the only two cow girls who were happy that the Cowboys lost this Thanksgiving.

You see they don't give a shit about the Boys, cow or otherwise.

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Sorry I caught a Virus

My computer caught a virus. Or more properly one it already had flared up again. So I had to call my security department to download a patch to correct the problem.

So all is well and to celebrate we posted something that has little for everybody.

A really hot "Whose that girl."

And for our favorite fanooks who follow us a special "Whose that guy."

The clue is in the title. Just sayn'

Did you ever have a NIghtmare....

That you turned on the Million Dollar Movie and they were showing Baywatch 1928?

Oh and whose those girls?

Did you ever have a Nightmare....

That you were out boating with your husband on Lake Mendota when you suddenly have the craving for something fishy...I don't know like a fish taco?

Did you ever have a Nightmare

Where you are Cedarford and you wander into a Kosher Pizzeria?

The Dubious Case of the Disappearing Douchebag

My dear Holmes,

It is your most humble petitioner, Inspector Lestrade. I must once again must prevail upon you to inquire if you have any new information in the case of the not so recent disappearance of Lord Douchebag. This curious case has dragged on and on and it seems to have escaped the notice of so many who claimed the deepest interest and concern but who have gone on as though nothing has happened. But there was a passing question today about the case and I thought I might contact you as we have not corresponded about this matter for many months.

As I had previously noted in several of my missives, I had attended many of the salons of the noted conversationalist and dilettante Lady Chatterley where Lord Douchebag was a frequent and much valued guest. In fact it has been told to me that the Lady in question has often referred to him as wonderful. What is most striking is that his name has not passed the lips of any of the many participants for lo these many months and it is as if he never existed. They have seemed to turn their interests and efforts towards the discussion of some American woman and her family that seems to occupy their every waking moment. When I heard that one of the members of this family was an idiot child I thought I might have a lead but it turns out it had no relation to Lord Douchebag.

It appears that the other feeble attempts to search for Lord Douchebag have come to naught. It is as if he was in fact a fictional character taken full blown from the imagination of someone who has tired of the ruse and gone on to other pursuits. But a curious fact has emerged in the months I have been attending this gathering of simpering fops and angry misanthropes for many months as I find the ravings of the disturbed very soothing. Several of the former participants have also disappeared and no one seems to have noticed or commented on their untoward absence. A certain member of the Red Headed League had so often participated that she was termed a “historian” of these soirées. But she has disappeared for many months without comment. An earnest young student who was a worshipful and devoted acolyte also seems to have disappeared without a word. Several musicians included a noted flautist have also vanished from these gatherings and their absence has been ignored by both Lady Chatterley and her consort. In fact it seems that many of the former participants who were most intimately involved in the conversation have left under mysterious circumstances. Without the doyen of this group uttering the least inquiry or even a moue of regret regarding their disappearance.

It is most puzzling and I would like to formerly request that you turn you own prodigious intellect to the contemplation of this strange phenomena. If so, perhaps I could drop by Baker Street to compare notes with you. If that is at all convenient please inform Dr. Watson who could pass on word the next time we meet at the club.

I hope all is well with you and Doctor Watson and that the controversy regarding the good Doctor and the chambermaid with the vestigial vagina ended in a solution that was satisfactory to all concerned. In all things I remain:

You obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
Scotland Yard
November 26, 1898

Thanksgiving sucks

Because you have to eat your aunt's cooking. Man that sucks.

Thanksgiving sucks!

Because the people making the dinner don't have their wigs on straight. Or wash their hands.

Rembrance of things Pabst

One of the biggest drinking nights of the year is the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving weekend. You see tons of people are depressed about going to see their family the next day so they want to tie one on so they can sleep through the holiday and make an excuse as to why they did not show up for turkey. I mean the girls don't want to be questioned by their aunts about when they are going to get married. Or if they are married they don't want to be questioned about when they are going to have a kid. The guys are generally pissed because they have to go to the family gatherings and have to listen to bullshit and admire the ugly babies that were born into the family during the year. So everybody likes to get plastered.

Back in my drinking days I loved to go out on this night. I remember one such night about twelve years ago or so. I was hanging out at a then new bar The Last Exit on Atlantic Avenue. It was my tax client at the time and the owner kept sending over free drinks. But what was funny was that it was a new joint and they got slammed around midnight because a huge influx of people came piling in. They had all just left bars in Manhattan and decided to keep the party going. The bartender didn't know whether to shit or go blind and he asked me to go behind the bar and help. Which I didn't do because I never do that. Too much can go wrong. But they sorted it out and everything was fine in the end.

We had a falling out since then. So it is another in a long line of places I wouldn't go back to. I have a lot of places like that. Where I used to be in with the in crowd and knew everything and everybody in the joint. But over time life gets in the way. You get in beefs. People do the wrong thing. Misunderstanding and other bullshit builds up and there are so many places you can spend your money why go back to a joint where they are fucking with you.

What's funny is that I am sure a lot of the same people are there tonight that were there back then. Some will have died. Some will have moved away. But there might be ten or twelve of them there knocking them back and complaining about life.

Did you ever have a Nightmare where

They decided to do MTV-Cribs Blog Commenter Edition and they went to ALphaLiberal's house?

Did you ever have a Nightmare where

There really was not going to be a Happy Ending?

Things that will only amuse me and Meade!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things that will only amuse me and Meade

Hey how am I going to get her to wear the Star Wars costume? Just sayn'

Things that will only amuse me and Meade

Don't ask. Won't tell.

Congratulations to the Eagles and their convict dogkiller quarterback.

Congratulations to AJ and rest of the Eagles fans. I know your nipples are all hard because you beat my Giants but we will see you in the playoffs.

In the meantime we are getting a bunch of pit bulls ready to put on the defensive line.

Mayor Bloomberg hates me.

He did it again. He closed the subway and had shuttle buses in place of the subway. It really cut the hell into my business as many people who might have come shopping decided that they didn't want to be bothered.

Why is he doing this right in prime shopping season. I know track work has to be done but not during the holiday season.

Bloomberg hates me.

Things that will only amuse me and Meade!

Hey I am starting a new feature here at Trooper York. Things that will only amouse me and Meade!

Today's topic: who was the best catcher in baseball history. Yogi Berra or Johnny Bench.

No one else should really enter into the discussion. Mike Piazza. Lousey defense. Steroids. Calton Fisk. Com'on he played for the Red Sox. His destiny is to have his severed head on a tuna fish can. Mickey Cochrane. Who the fuck ever heard of Mickey Cochrane besides hd house?

So it is between Yogi and Johnny as to who is the greatest catcher of all time.

The stats.

Yogi -appeared in 14 World Series, 15 All-Star games, batted .285 career, 358 home runs, 1,430 rbi's, 2,150 hits. He won 13 world series and was one of only six managers in history to take a team to the World Series in both leagues.

Johnny-appeared in four world series and won twice. 14 time All Star, batted .267 for his career,

389 home runs, 1,376 rbi's, 2,048 hits. No one has trusted him with their team.

Johnny was the MVP twice. Yogi three times.

Both are in the Hall of Fame. But by any measure.....Yogi was the greatest catcher of all time.

Did you ever have a Nightmare

Where the President of the United States was under the influence of some weird cult like minister?

Wait a minute...........

Did you ever have a Nightmare.....

Where you are at a swingers party in Madison Wisconsin?

Did you ever have a Nightmare

Where you found out how female law professors got tenure in the 1970's?

Did you ever have a Nightmare....

Where you got really drunk at the "Quiet Man" pub at the Saturday Night Live after party and ended up having a three way with Brigette Nielsen and R2D2?

Wait a minute....I think that really happened. The eighties are a blur man.

Did you ever have a Nightmare where....

You are ready to do your term paper at the main branch of the New York City Public Library.
You have brought everything. Your pencils. Your notebook. Your slide rule.

But you forgot your pants.

Did you ever have a Nightmare ....

Larry King tries to pick up your Mom in the supermarket?

And she goes for it?

Did you ever have a Nightmare where....

Denver keeps writing and calling and is all jealous because he thinks he is your "little buddy" but you have this blond up your ass all the time? So to speak.

Did you ever have a Nightmare where

Marcia and all her friends come over to your house to have an orgy but you get so exicted you splooge all over them before you can get the party started?

I hate when that happens.

Dear Mrs. Steve Philips

How are you. You frigid bitch. I haven't written to you in a while because I have been very busy.

I lost the job at the massage parlor because my best customer Al got in a lot of trouble and all the girls who worked with him got let go. Sort of what happened with Steve and all the girls he knew when he ran the Mets. They fired ten secretaries, three girls at the cafeteria and that effeminate ballboy. They cleaned house just like they did when they fired Omar Mineya. Then they just fired all the beaners instead of the broads. But it was the same thing.

Anyhoo I am going to the General Managers meeting to see if I can get another gig. Maybe they someone to massage the stats or something like that there. So I want you to tell Steve that if anyone calls for a background check he better give me a good report or else. Or else what you say? Or else I might tell them all about him and his tiny Mr. Met. I don't think you want that to get around. I mean Steve had the smallest little thing I ever saw. Even Pete Gaamons was bigger and they guy is ninety fuckin years old for Christ's sake. And Al was even bigger even though it would start to shrink whenever someone started talking about global warming. But I could fix that when I got in the polar bear suit with the crotch cut out. But nothing would help your Stevie. So he better not mess me up when I go for a new job.

I am trying to get with the Chicago teams. Either the Cubs or the White Sox. I don't care which one I can go either way. Which is what I am going to say about Stevie if he fucks with me again.

Oh and tell you sons not to friend anyone who askes on Facebook just because they sent them a photo of their chucky. Just sayn.

And remember. Look both ways when you cross the street bitch. Especailly if you see a brown Acura with a broken back window.

Toodles,

You pal

Brooke.

DId you ever have a Nightmare.....

Where air travel was like it was in the 1960's?

Wait a minute. That was a nightmare. I have to rethink this.

Did you ever have a Nightmare....

That Denver was following you around......even into the future?

Did you ever have a Nightmare that.....

In the future, Gene Shalit would be emperor.

Did you ever have a Nightmare where

Dr. Smith was in charge of training the TSA.

The Anna Lucia is here!!!

Then new Anna Lucia dress is in!

Available in Sapphire Blue and Amethyst.

No smart remarks, Lyssa!

Gratuitous Bathtub Whose that Girl?

What's a bath without bubbles?

This young lady was one of the most unbelievable love interests for the Duke that I ever saw. Actually second worst ever.

Did you have a Nightmare....

Where all the commenters got together to have a belated bachelor party for Meade and we let AJ book the stripper.

Never let a guy from Philly book a stripper.

Commenter Memories Number 53 Crack is on Spring Break

Hey the Crack Emcee was pissed that we dissed his lifestyle.

So he emailed me some pic's of him and his friends on Spring Break last year.

Sweet.

Holiday Lace is back in!

Our Holiday Lace dresses are in! Also available in a top and skirt these lace dresses come in black on black, black on red and purple lace. Perfect for the holiday party or just to dress up a Friday night.

What would you do?

So I have one of those interesting ethical dilemnas that everybody loves to talk about.

I have this window washer guy that I have been using since the store opened. Now the guy is a first class douche who charges me $50 a month to wash my windows once a week. Now you say that is a lot but I just don't have the time, inclination or energy to do it and we keep the store in a pristine condition. Unlike the rest of the stores on Court St. which are dust magnets and pig sty's. I have a maid come in and clean 3 times a week and the staff cleans the other days. So I have paying since day one.

Now this douche has a Polish guy who does the route. But he is often sick and doesn't show up. I was going to fire the service but the owner guy comes by at around 10 at night to do the window because he sees I am still open. All he does is cry and whine and tell me about how hard it is to run a business. I know that dick. Just clean my fuckin window and do it before 10pm on a Friday night as an afterthought. So he promises me he will be sure it is always done by Saturday Night at the latest. And he has pretty much kept to that even though he is a real pain in the ass and only gets to do it because we stay so late fixing up the store. It is not like he gets here at a reasonable time, he just catches us late on a Friday on his way home.

So today the Polack guy cleans the window and goes "Hey I want to talk to you for a minute. I am quitting this guy and I will do your windows for $30 a month." I told him I had to check with the boss and I would let him know later.

So should I stay with the guy I don't like for $50 a month or drop him and go with an even more unreliable guy at $30 a month. Or should I do it myself and save all the money. Or get someone else entirely.

You make the call.

Let's take a poll....err ok a chandelier.

You can take a pole but if you can't then you can take a chandelier.

Well only if you are giving a lap dance at the apartment and not the strip club.

Hey whose that girl?

Camel Toe Corner-UFO edition.

"Unidentified Female Orifice."

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!