Michael H has his say....

Michael H tells us about his Thanksgiving.....

Michael H said...
Mary and I took the old man to dinner. His favorite Chinese place was closed, as were the second and third places we tried. When did Chinese restaurants start closing on holidays?

We found a nice diner that was open. God love the Greek restauranteurs, they never sleep. Maybe that's why they all look ready for the coronary ICU at any moment.

We were seated and a nice waitress asked if we wanted coffee. The old man said "Is your coffee good? I haven't got much time left and I'm not drinking any more lousy coffee." She came back with three cups and a freshly brewed pot.

The turkey dinners were pretty good. We had plenty to take home. Gravy was served in a cup on one side of the plate. The old man took a spoonful and said "What the hell's wrong with this pudding?" "It's gravy, John" said Mary. He said "I know, I know, I'm just teasing." Maybe he was, who knows?

The food perked him up and it became stream-of-conscience time. Some of the jewels:

"Culver's is a successful restaurant chain because they figured out onions. They put red onions on their burgers and that makes them taste better."

"There's too damn many grocery stores. And they're all too big. Some of 'em are going to go bankrupt, count on it."

"My parents grew everything they needed. Some years during the Depression my pop made only $600, but they paid off their house, canned their own meat and vegetables, made wine and liquor, sewed clothes and made soap. I check out at the grocery store yesterday and it was fifty five bucks. How the hell did my folks make it?"

"Your sister called and wanted to come over for a visit. I told her I wasn't feeling good. Truth is, she comes over and doesn't stop talking. She starts talking and an hour later I still don't know what the hell she's talking about. She's like a radio station - she sends but she doesn't receive."

"They ripped out and replaced the parking lot at the apartment where I live. I watched the whole thing. They were gettin' ready to put in the new blacktop and I walked out to the middle of it with my cane. The gravel was too soft. It didn't feel right. The foreman came over and said "What the hell are you doing?" I told him my cane was actually a penetrometer and I'm getting a reading of maybe 1800 PSI and you know damn well you need 2100 PSI or this thing'll be full of cracks and potholes next year. He told me to get back to the sidewalk, but he had a roller come back over it one more time. I watched."

We took him home, drove through the park on the way, then walked him into his apartment and stayed a while. Afterwards, Mary and I were quiet on the ride back to our place.

"How long?" she finally asked. "I don't know. Tomorrow, Christmas, Easter, no one knows, including his MD who said" 'Labor Day' last spring." "Well, that's not much different than the rest of is, isn't it? You never know."

You never know. I think that's one reason why Thanksgiving is such a great holiday. People scramble to get home, braving clogged airports and highways, bad weather, annoying relatives and everything else that goes with the holiday. You have to go home once a year and see everyone, have a meal, tell stories and jokes, coo over the babies, fuss over the elderly and remember the departed because you just never know.


Thanks Michael. Time is short. You have to enjoy your family when you can. I hope you can enjoy some more memories with you Dad and he can defy the experts. You never know. All the best to you and the family.

And to all of the famlies you visit us here at Trooper York.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone!

I had a crazy couple of days. As you know I am down to one employee and we are scrambling to do everything we have to do this holiday season. We seem to be finishing projects that have been hanging fire for weeks and months and years all in a couple of days.

Our dishwasher has been broken for about two years and we couldn't replace it. We had built up the floor of our apartment because of the terrible slope of the sinking foundation of the extension where our kitchen is located. Of course we said "This is great but if our dishwasher breaks we are fucked." Well it broke about two years ago and we never got a chance to get it fixed. You see we had to take off the counter top to be able to pull up the dishwasher out of the hole it was in to replace it. We finally got a guy who could do it for a reasonable amount so we had the job done this week. Wouldn't you know it that it wasn't done completely. He installed it and it seemed to work fine. But the second time we used it the freaking thing didn't drain. So he has to come and fix it again. We wanted it for Thanksgiving so we used it and bailed the water. It seems that nothing can be done the right way the first time anymore.

Then we had a new maid starting this week. She speaks very little English but she seems industrious. Of course the wife had to stay home to direct her and keep an eye on her which meant that I had to do everything else in the store while she was away. So she was at home getting the house ready for Thanksgiving as we were having the family over for the holiday.

Thank left everything else to me.

I had to hit all the stores and get all the supplies as well as prepare the menu and all the food. Don't get me wrong because I love to do it. It is just exhausting. I had to go to about ten stores because you can't everything in one place. One joint has the good cold cuts  and another has the right pastry and another has the good bread and still another has the vegetable you need to make the meal correctly. Hitting all of the stores and running back to the Valise to help sell and cover the shift really knocked me on my ass.

The day was a big success. I made a big old fashioned sauce with meatballs and sausage and a gravy round. Also ravoli's. An anti pasto to start. Stuffed mushrooms. Brussel Sprouts in Bacon and white balsamic vinegar. Rice balls. Prosciutto Balls. Potato croquets. Cakes and pastries. My sister in law brought a turkey but the kids went for all the guinea food as always. The wife had a lot of fun playing with her nieces and nephews and best of all they went home early. Yeah.

So I am beat.

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend to all of youse.

Just because!

Most people don't send out Thanksgiving Cards is no reason why we can't start a new tradition.

Squanto on this right here baby!

Commenter Memories Number 119 Cedarford Loves Thanksgiving

It reminds him of the times with his family back in his homeland.

Even the pumpkins were white.

He just hated that the turkey was always deep fried. You see his family put the oven to an alternative use. Even on Thanksgiving Day.

Thanksgiving Memories.

Commenter Memories Number 118 Crack Emcee chokes up when he sees Turkey

Because he remembers his Auntie who raised him and their Thanksgivings together.

His Uncle brought the rice.

Thanksgiving memories!

Spicy meatballs!

We had a kind of tough time on Thanksgiving. The wife's Dad wasn't feeling well so we had to truck everything out to the island. I made most of the stuff there on Thanksgiving Day which was kind of hard because they don't have all of the equipment.

To save time I ended up making the meatballs the night before and we had a little pre Thanksgiving feast. One of our pattern makers was dropping off some samples so we had meatballs right out of the pan with a nice Côte du Rhône that we have been enjoying lately.

The wife loves them right out of the pan without any sauce on them so we put a little dipping sauce on the side with bread. They came out pretty good.

Get stuffed!

So I will be making my usual stuffed mushrooms tomorrow.

I usually chop some garlic and parsley and add bread crumbs and pecorino romano cheese to stuff the shrooms. Lately I have also been adding ricotta and finely chopped scallions but I might omit the ricotta because everybody else likes it dry. I also squeeze a couple of lemons over them while I am cooking.

The wifes family likes tons of bread crumbs in everything and likes stuff a lot drier than I do. Since I am cooking for them I will make it the way they like it.

Me I like it juicy. Just sayn'

I didn't just get here on the turnip truck!

So I have never made turnips before. We are going to my in-laws. They were supposed to come to me but my father in law is not feeling well so we are bringing everything to them. My father in law wanted some turnips so I have to make them to cheer him up.

I have a handle on everything except for the fuckin turnips.

Now they are diabetics and the funny thing is that every recipe seems to call for a ton of sugar. White sugar. Brown sugar. More sugar than the Crack Emcee gets in a month of Sundays. So since I am a simpleton I am going simple.

I am going to peel them and quarter them and put them in a pan with salt and pepper and roast them of a while. When I turn them over I am going to put a big pat of butter on each slice so it melts and covers the turnip. When it is ready I will serve as is.

What do you think?

Any non sugar turnip recipes will be greatly appreciated.

A non traditional Thanksgiving.

I am making a pork roast over fanook, prunes, apples and a white wine glaze. No turkey. I hate turkey.

Also meatballs, sausage, raviolis and a big salad.

But no turkey. And that's final.

Thanksgiving sucks

Because you have to eat your aunt's cooking. Man that sucks.

Thanksgiving sucks!

Because the people making the dinner don't have their wigs on straight. Or wash their hands.

Wait a minute, why are we having pork on Thanksgiving.

"I see the turkey and all but why are we having pork?"

"WHAT!!!! WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!"

"No it's true, Granny make a pork roast of this cute little critter."

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

AAAARRRRNNNNOOOOOLLLLDDDDDDD!!!!!!"

Flashback: Gratuitous Bathtub photo Thanksgiving Edition!

Yes you should always wash your bird.

So to speak.

Seriously, you work at a fashion magizine?

"Aunt Betty, I just don't think that is the right look to wear to Thanksgiving Dinner."

"What so you know what is the right thing to wear all the time. What gives you the right to say anything?"

"Well that's why the call me Jason (the commenter)."

Welcome to Gentle Ben's Thanksgiving Special

"Welcome to the Gentle Ben Thanksgiving Special. We have a great show for you tonight. We have our friends from Monty Python who are going to do a few skits and sing the Lumberjack Song. Also Lola Falana will sing and Shelly Berman will tell a few jokes."

How you doing?

"So you come here often?"

"No not really. But I always go out the day before Thanksgiving."

"Yeah that's a great night to party. But the next day, not so much."

"Why you don't like Thanksgiving?"

"Well it's not my favorite holiday for obvious reasons."

"Well it's over now and we have to get ready for Christmas. Hey would you like to dance?"

"Sure, do you know the Funky Chicken?"

Something funny is going to happen in 3 minutes.

So we are over my sister in laws for Thanksgiving and they have this overactive dog that runs all over the place. I think he a pug but he is very frisky. But he is a cute fat bastard. Anyway they gave him one of those leather bones to chew during the meal to occupy him. I had previously told the wife that I was so exhausted that when the meal was over, I was going to find a place on the couch and just doze for a hour or two while she played with the kids or whatever.

So I sit on the couch and my brother in law sits on his easy chair next to me. The dog runs up jumps on the couch, rubs up against me and drops the bone in my lap and starts chewing. I had to laugh as I am scratching him behind the ear and he is having a grand old time. Then he hears something in the other room and scoots off the couch to see what is going on.

In the meantime the wife comes in and sits next to me. I turn to my brother in law and say "Something funny is going to happen in 3 minutes." My wife goes 'What something funny on the TV."

Now my wife doesn't like animals and can't stand the feel of fur. Even on furs. Which is funny enough but she has to pretend that she likes the dog because she doesn't want to upset her niece and nephew. But she is a girly-girl who doesn't like her nice clothes messed up.

The dog comes bursting into the room, scoops up the bone, jumps on the couch next to my wife and drops the bone in her lap and rubs against her expensive Anna Scholtz top. She lets out a scream you could hear in New Jersey.

All I could say was "Hey I was wrong. It took four minutes."

Turkey Daze?

The first officially sanctioned thanksgiving was proclaimed by President Lincoln during the depths of the civil war for the final Thursday in November 1963. The tradition of pardoning the White House Turkey was also initiated by President Lincoln during the next year’s celebration. It seems that the turkey that year resembled Joshua Speed who was President Lincoln’s long term companion during his years as circuit riding lawyer. Speed an art teacher and perfume developer often shared young Mr. Lincoln’s bed as they traveled the back roads of Illinois where Lincoln would try cases and Speed would try to peddle his nostrums while entertaining the depressed Mr. Lincoln with his rants against the poor quality of art and wine to be found in those roadside taverns. The chubby thighs and endearing wattle so much resembled the rotund raconteur that President Lincoln freed the pouty lipped poultry in the name of his good friend. (Pardon Me? The History of Presidential Pardons, Doris Kearns Goodwin Simon & Schuster 2007)

The tradition of pardoning the White House turkey did not become an automatic ritual as many of Presidents did not have a sentimental attachment to their meat. However some of them were more kind hearted than others. US Grant who led the Union army in some of the most sanguinary battles in the history of the United States actually hated the sight of blood or the infliction of pain. So the night before Thanksgiving, Sam Grant sat up all night getting drunk with the turkey so it wouldn’t feel anything when the fateful moment arrived. The ingestion of bourbon by the doomed fowl left its meat with a delicious taste that became all the rage in sophisticated circles after it was introduced on the menu in Delmonico’s restaurant later that same year.(Pardon Me? The History of Presidential Pardons, Doris Kearns Goodwin Simon & Schuster 2007)

The most ineffectual attempt at pardoning the White House turkey occurred during the administration of Jimmy Carter. Even though he famously termed himself a “peanut farmer”, President Carter could not face up to the realities of life on a working farm. So he went to the turkey pen where all the turkeys were held to ask them to pray with him. Although he could only pardon one of them he felt the rest could go to their fate with the solace of prayer to speed them along in their journey. Unfortunately when he entered the turkey pen the birds saw their chance and surrounded the fearful commander in chief and pecked and terrorized him. President Carter did not know what to do. The irate turkeys held the embattled chief executive hostage for 444 hours until the end of the holidaySeason and the change in administrations in January. Then President Elect Ronald Reagan had them all made into turkey burgers.(Pardon Me? The History of Presidential Pardons, Doris Kearns Goodwin Simon & Schuster 2007)