New Year's Resolutions!

I need to be happy for people when good things happen to them. Jealousy is bad for your health. I mean not everything about my "team" is always the best.

With that in mind I would like to congratulate Aaron Rodgers on his recent achievements. What a great "job" so to speak.

This article highlights the great things that Aaron has been doing this season.

Soon it will be the only thing that football fans will be talking about.

(special thanks to Nick for alerting me to this great article)

You don't know Jack...about Jack

So last night I was torturing Lisa by making her watch old TV shows when we were lying down before we went to sleep. Now she rejected "The Riflemen" and "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea."  We caught an episode of "Adam 12" which I will do a separate post about later. But then I really made her crazy!

A put on an episode of the ancient "Jack Benny Show" from when television first began! It was the one where they had on Bobby Darin who was a young Heartthrob at the time. He was supposed to play Jack in his new bio-pic. It was entertaining but there was one really funny thing about it. It was really gay! I mean Titus quality gay!

First there was a scene in a nightclub where we are introduced to Bobby Darin. Now in the background against the wall visible right over the head of Jack's manager was a statue. A greek statue. A naked greek statue. Whose balls and johnson looked like they were on top of the guys head! It was a Roman helmet from a Greek statue!

Then Jack meets Bobby. Now Jack doesn't want him to play him but Bobby kisses his ass so much that he turns around and agrees to him playing him in a movie. But he suggest that he come stay with him so he could "understand him." Then next scene they are in his house and Darin goes "So am I going to meet your wife?"  Jack goes "No she is going to be away for a week. It is just the two of us." Various high jinks ensue which involve not eating dinner and dry cleaning. All very gay. But the topper is when a sailor walks in. Yes that is right a sailor. With the whole sailor suit with the little hat and everything. That was when we shut it off.

It was just too gay!

Seriously who knew?

Give my you snausages money or I will give you a fur wedgie!

I couldn't decide if this should be a bullying post or a same sex marriage post.

Of course at the TOP they are one and the same.

Hee.

Mr Aaron Rodgers neighborhood......

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?...

It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?...

I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we're together we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my neighbor?

Hi  boys and girls. Welcome to Mr Aaron Rodgers neighborhood here in Green Bay Wisconsin. Can you say Losers boys and girls?

You don't have to. Just say Packers....it means the same thing.

I am here with my good friend Ryan and he is going to show us how to put pine tar on his bat. Do you like pine tar on your bat boys and girls? I bet you do. I bet you let your step father put the pine tar on your bat.

Wait a minute. I didn't know pine tar came in a tube. Oh well. Let's have some fun.

We will be right back.

The NTTAWWT Corrall.

The Packers are the only football team that refers to the start of training camp as pitchers and catchers.

Just sayn'

Deep Thoughts.....by Titus

Titus said...

I don't believe in any props or shoes or material in sex matter...at least to me.

But for some reason, pornos love to show all this shit.

I guess I am just too vanilla.

I don't think I mentioned this but when I first met my husband he wore a cock ring, not for me, but for him.

I never understood.

What does the cock ring do, I mean really?

I mean it is just on your hand. How does that rooster help you with the jerky jerky?

The first night we were together he put a porno on the blue ray. I was humiliated. I looked up and on the entire wall was porno. This was after we were fooling around for over 45 minutes. I was like thanks, got the message.

          Tits.

NFL QB Sought by FBI

When I heard that an NFL quarterback was being sought by the FBI I started to laugh. But then I found out it was Ryan Leaf. You see I thought it was Aaron Rodgers.

You know that he is a butt burglar.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

It's what's for dinner!

Politics is supposed to be dog eat dog but this is getting silly.

Did you ever get the feeling.......

That Titus and Palladian shared and office cubicle or something and that is why they couldn't get along?

You either are or you ain't

There are two kinds of husbands who appear on reality TV shows. There are guys like Al Manzo, Chris Laurita, Jim Bellino, Don Gunvalson and Bobbbbbbbbie Zarin who are basically businessmen who are contemptuous of the process. They have their own businesses where they are the boss and they know an asshole when they see one so when of this Hollywood fanoicks start ordering them around they have to grit their and get through it so they don't kill the douchebag who is running the show. They are supporting their wives who love the idea of being on TV and are natural TV presences and who thoroughly enjoy being on TV. They are just doing it for the wife but they could give a shit about being famous on TV.

Then there are the guys like Joey Gorga, Slade Smiley, Eddie Judge and Simon Van Kempen love to be on camera and in the middle of all the drama. They love to be filmed and I bet they take directions very well. I bet they take it all. They take it deep. Because they all have something else in common. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 So which kind of reality husband do you think I was?

Whose that author

TTBurnett said...

Windbag: Don't feel bad about your lack of travel.

 I've been abroad, and it's a terrible place.

Deep thoughts...by Titus

Titus said...
I am 1/2 monk and 1/2 Madonna.
And I am not 55 Ricpic, bitch.
I am still able to leave the house.

When I am 55 I will disappear,
it's required in the gay world.

tits.

Be careful Titus- a sausage a day can cause cancer!

It seems that there is another stupid study that says eating sausage causes cancer. Just like breathing. I mean everything causes cancer.

This was in a British newspaper so most likely it is all bullshit. They say that eating processed meat like sausages and salami and ham raises the chance of pancreatic cancer by one fifth. Who believes this shit?

Everybody dies. Nobody gets out alive.

Enjoy your sausage. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I thought Rosie liked fishing for "Tuna"

It seems that noted hypocrite and environmentalist Rosie O'Donnell is getting grief for taking her family shark fishing. They recently landed a Hammerhead shark in Florida where fishing for this shark is now illegal. This is reminiscent of her stance on gun control while being surrounded by gun toting security guards.

I don't get it. I thought Rosie usually went out looking for Tuna. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

So I had my eyebrows threaded.....not that there's anything wrong with that

And I tell the girl that I don't want to look like Leonid Brezhnev....and she said to me "Who is that?" I said "How old are you?" She said she was 20. I have stains in my underwear that are older than that.

I had to get my eyebrows fixed for our new project. I have to spruce up a little. I also made an appointment for a massage, facial and acupuncture. I told the girl I wanted cumcumbers over my eyes and she had no idea what the fuck I was talking about. Again.

But I am realistic. I can pull off the Leonid Brezhnev look.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

You know I am a big history fan and love to read books about American History. Especially the ones by Doris Kearns Goodwin which she lets us in on little know secrets of our Presidents. Well there is a new book by a different sleazy journalist named Don Fulsom who claims the Tricky Dick Nixon was gay!

His book claims that Nixon was having an affair with Bebre Rebo ISzo and that he was mobbed up and took bribes from the Mafia. Fulsom was the UPI bureau chief during the Nixon administration and has dug up a lot dirt that supposedly shows that Nixon was a drunk, a wife beater, a mobbed up courrpt douche and gay.

When the press gets it for you they never let it go. Guess what? All the Kennedys were mobbed up. Old man Joe was partners with Meyer Lansky and Frank Costello in the thirties. Who fucked around on his wife more than JFK? And who cares if Nixon was gay? Why now? What does it matter?

The only thing worse than a journalist is a lawyer.

Commenter Memories Number 126 Ritmo sez no!

Ritmo Re-Animated said...
I actually worked with this tiny but robust and entertaining paesan who needed to adjust the electrical inputs for his iPod once. He was a funny guy. Thick black and immaculately groomed hair and a mustache that seriously looked like it was lifted from Super Mario Brothers.

Anyway, when this married chap was tooling around (no pun intended) underneath the desk where I was working, in the space where the electrical outlets are kept, he asked if I wouldn't mind if he went down on me.

I told him that I really wasn't into that thing, and he told me that it really wasn't all that different from a woman doing that.

I told him that his mustache would give it away. To which, he responded, "What? Haven't you ever dated an Italian woman before?"

I thought that was funny.

Everybody knows the Bat TIme!

"It is very kind of you and your ward to come to the Policeman's Ball Mr. Wayne. Thank you."
"We are very fond of balls Commissioner Gordon."
"Errr what ever do you mean by that?"
"We love balls. The Policemans Ball. The Masquerade Ball. The Ball to benefit the Opera. We even love baseball. We are even buying a baseball team. The Boston Red Sox. They are my kind of people."
"Well that's a relief. The velvet smoking jacket threw me off. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Just because!

She likes the feel of fur against her skin does not mean you need to be a bear Hossaroni.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

"Sometimes you just crave a deep fried fish taco!"