Buddy Clinton died for your sins!

Calvin and Grace Coolidge had one of the most loving and close relationships of all presidential couples. Although President Coolidge was know far and wide for being very taciturn his wife confided to her diary that he put his tongue to better use. But the general silence of the mansion led Grace to spend a lot of time with her pets of which she had the biggest menagerie since Theodore Roosevelt. Her favorite was her pet raccoon Rebecca who was hit with children from all over the world. The first pet coon to be owned by a president since Thomas Jefferson, Rebecca was a big hit at the annual Easter egg hunt where she would run out and gather all of the eggs before any of the children could get to them. This greatly pleased the frugal Coolidge’s who hated to give out anything for free. Unfortunately there was a tragedy when Rebecca unwittingly bit the hand of young Robert Taft who was reaching for an egg. Robert ran screaming into the garden to his Dad Chief Justice William Howard Taft. There was screaming and chaos and children running underfoot and the corpulent Chief Justice was tripped and fell, crushing both Rebecca and the diminutive Ambassador from Kingdom of Siam.
(Buddy Clinton Died For Your Sins, Doris Kearns Goodwin, 2009)

Buddy Clinton Died For Your Sins

Much as he loved to be surrounded by a bevy of beauties, JFK loved dogs very much and had many of them during his days at the White House. In this photo from White House archives, Presidential dog Charlie gets some love from Caroline as the president, John-John, and Jackie frolic with Pushinka's puppies Blackie and White Tips and family dogs Shannon, Clipper, and Wolfie. The Kennedy’s loved all of their dogs equally and took very good care of them. Unfortunately one weekend when they were called away, they left them in the care of Uncle Teddy who got the bright idea that he would wash them.

They all drowned.
(Buddy Clinton Died For Your Sins, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Playboy Press 2009)

I got your state's rights, right here.

There have many well know cases of ruptures between politicians and their children due to the stress of living a public life. The difficulties of Ron Reagan and Patti Davis with their family have been well documented and many of the children of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt were estranged for most of their father’s administration. But the worse case of family squabbling can be found in the severed relationship of the 7th Vice President of the United States, John C. Calhoun and his daughter Rory. Although the Vice President had a loving relationship with his wife Floride they became estranged. First by the trouble she created when she to ostracize the wife of the Secretary of War John Eaton. She claimed that his wife Peggy had actually begun an affair with Secretary Eaton while still married to her first husband Justin Timberlake. Since President Jackson’s own wife Rachel had been the subject of vile rumors he did not take kindly to this friction in his Cabinet, he severely rebuked Vice President Calhoun and cut him out of all Cabinet meetings. This drove a wedge between Calhoun and his wife Floride which widened into a chasm when he misspelled the name of the new state he helped usher into the Union which was supposed to be called Floride but was misspelled as Florida. This wedge was further exacerbated when Calhoun began an affair with a young woman journalist from New York named Barbara Walters. Young Rory took her mothers side and they both left the crotchety politico to move to Stars Hollow Connecticut where they operated a bed and breakfast and stop on the Underground Railroad to infuriate the proslavery Calhoun. They spent the rest of their lives having meaningless conversations where they talked so fast and over each others voices so much that they were totally incomprehensible for the rest of their lives.
(Alice Roosevelt Longworth Doesn’t Live Here Anymore: The Sexuality of Political Children by Doris Kearns Goodwin, Playboy Press 2008)

Where's the Beef?

The wildest of all political children was of course Alice Roosevelt. The daughter of Theodore Roosevelt and his first wife who died, Alice was a wild child whose antics entertained and scandalized the public. Known to drink, smoke cigarettes, bet with a bookie and ride in cars unaccompanied with men, Alice was a wild child who went to the beat of her own drummer. Her father had no control over her and could only try to influence her as best he could. While on a trip to Japan she began an affair with William Howard Taft who reputedly took her virginity. Alice was often quoted as saying she never felt so much like a woman until she was squashed under the bulk of hefty Taft. She ever after had an affinity for corpulent men and always would shout out when she entered a room: “Where’s the beef” which was later plagiarized for an advertising campaign. She eventually married the hefty congressman Nicholas Longworth who was the Speaker of the House reputedly because he had an extra big gavel and he really knew how to use it. She was great friends with President John F. Kennedy and is reportedly the oldest woman he had ever banged. She playfully called his penis Emily Spinach which was the name of her pet green snake that she kept in her days at her father’s White House. This was reputedly because JFK’s penis had turned green due to the medication he had to take because of his Addison’s disease. This affliction led to his obsession with the color green and was the impetus in naming his elite Special Forces units the Green Berets. On such strange occurrences our history is made.
(Alice Roosevelt Longworth Doesn’t Live Here Anymore: The Sexuality of Political Children by Doris Kearns Goodwin, Playboy Press 2008)

What are ya gonna do with them Hogs, Dorothy.

One of the wildest of all political children was of course Eleanor Mondale the daughter of Vice President Walter Mondale. Born to progressive parents of the most liberal bent she enjoyed an active and varied sex life during her father’s term as Vice President. She was reputed to have dated many athletes and musicians but her most famous exploits were with the offensive line of the Washington Redskins. She was the person that gave them the nickname the “Hogs” which did not refer to their stature or physique or eating habits but rather to their large penises of which she was extremely fond. She became a byword around the NFL and the New York Giants nicknamed their blitz package the Eleanor Mondale which meant they had to go through the entire offensive line. And “Hog” has passed into the popular vernacular as a slang term for penis all due to the efforts of the inimitable Ms. Mondale.
(Alice Roosevelt Longworth Doesn’t Live Here Anymore: The Sexuality of Political Children by Doris Kearns Goodwin, Playboy Press 2008

He was the son of a rail splitter, so to speak.

There were quite few rumors about Robert Todd Lincoln’s sexuality when he was a young man in the White House. While most of his contemporizes were on the battlefield he stayed behind to study law. Although he was eventually given a staff commission on General Grants staff at the end of the war, there was a constant drumbeat of criticism that the President’s son was not in uniform. President Lincoln always said it was because of his wife who became demented at the thought of losing another son as she had almost gone mad after the death of their beloved Thad. So young Mr. Lincoln stayed in the background shuffling papers and creating the North American John Hay Love association.
(Alice Roosevelt Longworth Doesn’t Live Here Anymore: The sexuality of political Children by Doris Kearns Goodwin, Playboy Press 2008)