Heck of job Artie Bucco

So I have been telling you that I see Artie Bucco all over  the neighborhood lately. Artie or John Ventimiglia (his real name) has just moved into  Carroll  Gardens this winter and I see him almost every day. He has a role on the Tom Selleck  vehicle "Blue Bloods" which films in New York so I guess he wanted to come back to Brooklyn. I know he used to live in Park Slope and now lives a few blocks from me in Carroll Gardens.

All this winter he was walking up and down Court St wearing a hat and sunglasses and talking into his handsfree Blue tooth like a crazy person. I ran into him at the deli a couple of times as he is getting some cold cuts from Gourmet Fresh which is on the corner of my block. That is the joint where Danny the Deli Clerk from Masteleone's ended up after they sold out to some yuppies. The Arabs who used to run Key Food set up this up scale grocery but are smart enough to hire a neighborhood guy to run the deli counter so they don't lose the old timers so much. Anyway this mook had ordered some cold cuts when I came up and started bantering with Danny. "What do you want now?" "Hey take it easy and slice your baloney you miserable Popeye look alike before I write another bad Yelp review you miserable prick." He was watching us with his eyes bugging out. You see some hipster twat wrote a nasty review about the deli counter and I think she mentioned me. She went and demanded that Danny change his gloves when he sliced her order because she was allergic to gluten or something. She mentions that she overheard some body talking to the clerk and making fun of her. I bet that was me.

Anyway guess what happens? Artie decides to walk into Lee Lee's. He was shopping for sunglasses of which we have a couple of big displays. Now they are mostly girlie but we have some aviators that can go either way. I wasn't there at the time as I was dealing with the sewer line repair back at the apartment. But Lisa had a chance to talk to him. He introduced himself as John and Lisa didn't let on that she recognized him. He was looking for a specific type of shades that we didn't have but she gave the spiel that she always does about how we are opening a new store in the back but we have plus sized clothes that she designed and manufactured. He was impressed and said he had some friends who are always looking for quality plus sized clothing. Maybe Janice? Anyway he was very nice and Lisa had a nice conversation with him.

I bet he is going to come back because guys like that all ways want to be in with the in crowd.. So now Lee Lee's can be a place he  can come in the neighborhood where people know him and he can get the scoop on what is happening. My question is this. Should I run up a quick script for "Blue Bloods" that he can submit to the powers that be. His character is an Italian American Chief of Patrol who is one of the underlings to the Commissioner played by Tom Selleck.  I figure we can use the story of the two mooks who got in a knife fight at Joes Supperette over the cooze that ran the card store. John's character can be the uncle of the girl who had moved out of the neighborhood but has to come back to deal with the two Mafia familes that are involved in the dispute. I think it would be pretty easy to write a script for that show.  You got Mob guys, violence, the neighborhood. You know my specialty. You just have to make the Commissioner be a pompous dick, the daughter the DA be a commie cunt and the New Kid on the Block detective  be an asshole. Simple.

Of course it is a dick move to hand somebody a script like that. Even though he might be into it since it would have a great role for him in it. I wouldn't do it. But it would be pretty funny.

Keeping your ear to the ground and getting it cut off

I have been pretty busy lately as a lot of stuff is happening. We had been indecisive as to whether or not we were going to stay in New York. Or move to a new space. I managed to negotiate a pretty decent deal for my current space so it looks like we are staying put for the next five years.

We had a meeting at the store to sign the lease and pay the bribes we needed to keep the space. Everything went swimmingly as we paid the price and all was well. I haven't had a chance to chat with them for over a year  and we had a chance to catch up.

These guys are old line Mafia. The real mafia not the bullshit Mafia. I was asking them about Casa Rosa the restaurant on the corner.

You might remember that I had a beef with the owner and have not been going there for the past three years. Well he passed away this past September while I was on the cruise and I got sick so I didn't have a chance to get to talk to the family or anything. It seems their lease was up and they got tossed at the end of January. Now I heard that this Jewish lady had bought the building for about 3 mill. She was a restaurateur and she planned to bring one of her joints to that spot. Well for some reason she decided that she wasn't going to do that. I wonder why?

My landlord told me that Markey who owns the fancy pizzeria on Summit St that Beyoncé loves was interested in the space (pictured serving his kid and her school friends in the pizzeria). But he didn't want to pay the $14,000 a month that the lady was asking. Now Markey was the guy who got stabbed at Joes Superette a couple of years ago supposedly over a woman by Bennie who is connected with the guys at the Bagel store who are a Genovese crew. It seems that they are having an ongoing beef. Markey is with the Colombos and has one of them with a no show job there. Anyway now Bennie is taking to robbing the pizzeria when Markey or the Colombo guy is not there. He is just walking in with a piece and taking everything out of the register. Now it hasn't been in the news because nobody is reporting anything. Bennie is locked about something else right now so they are all laying low. They are supposedly going to have a sit down soon or they are going to take care of it themselves one way or another. In any event I am not going to buy any bagels or pizza anytime soon. Not that it matters. I can't eat that shit anyway anymore so who gives shit. It is just good to know what is going on so I am not in the wrong place at the wrong time so to speak.

The downside is that the lady who bought Casa Rosa is no looking to sell it as she was "encouraged" not to put her restaurant in that space. That means the block will be dead going into the spring. If Markey can pull it off and transfer his restaurant that will help me a lot. The pretentious cunts who go there are the perfect customers for my new lingerie store. So lets hope they sort that out soon.

Now I will have to concentrate on renovations to the back store. I am going to be on busy motherfucker.

An existential dilemma....or in other words...Snot right

 

It was really cold on Friday so we decided not to go to the store. We hung around and did computer work and got a few sales on-line which was great. But we still had to pop out at the end of the day to get some supplies. No milk and bread. We needed some food and stuff. So we bundled up and went across the street to the yuppie joint "Gourmet Fresh."

Now I might have talked about this place before. It is a grocery started by the Palestinian family that used to own the Key Food market on Court St. They had closed down the market and rented the space to CVS. One of the initial sell outs to big business on Court St.  The old man still wanted a grocery so they told the old space that "Dave's" dry goods store had and put in a "Gourmet" supermarket. They don't have many of the old staple American brands like Hellman's Mayo or Guldens Mustard or Ronzoni and shit. Mostly premium brands from small vendors or organic shit. You know stuff that the yuppies and hipsters love.

We have been shopping there everyday since "Good Food" the Italian deli closed. As usual we know everyone in the joint now. All the stock guys and the girls at the check out stand. The owners are pretty savvy. They hired away some of the workers from some of the other businesses that closed. To make it more familiar to some of the old timers who still shop in the neighborhood. One of them is Danny the cold cuts guy formerly of "Mastelone's."

Now Danny is an old time guy from the neighborhood who looks sort of like Popeye with a seventies porn mustache. He is old school and the neighborhood guys shop with him. I know he is not going to give me shit cold cuts so he always gives me a slice to make sure it is cool.

When we were walking in Danny was tossing out some garbage. I guess they were cleaning up early because they wanted to get out of there because most people were staying in because it was freezing. So Danny sees us and says "Hey look who is out freezing tonight. Do youse guys need me?" "Yeah the usual. Some turkey. Low sodium ham. Low sodium Swiss. See you inside."

We go in and get some veggies and stuff and then go to the deli counter. Danny is slicing the cheese and turns to hand us a slice to taste. And then we notice it.

He has a rope of snot hanging down from his nose. Because of the cold when he went outside. So what do you do? To you mention it to him and he brushes it off and gets snot all over his hands. I mean we can't see if he changes his gloves and what not. So do we not say anything and hope it doesn't fall into our cold cuts? I mean he was almost finished.

We decided to wait it out. It was still there when we were finished.

But it is what I call an existential dilemma.

You know what I mean?

It pays to be nice!

There has been a great diaspora after the various Italian salumerias went out of business. All of the Mexican guys who worked there had to scramble to get jobs in the neighborhood. Anybody that is any good got one because they had their own customers and following. It is sort of like when a bartender switches bars.

So one of the cold cut guys went to Gourmet Fresh which is the fancy supermarket across the street from my house. That works out mainly because he gives me the best cuts of cold cuts. Nothing from the end of the piece. Another is working at a new sandwich joint a few blocks away. He came to the store with a bunch of menus. They have a shit load of sandwiches and wraps and salads and what not. If I call there he will hook me up with a premium sandwich.

But it is the guys from "Good Food" who sorta disappeared. Then yesterday we were walking out of the house and who is walking down the street but Miguel who made the prosciutto balls and potato croquets at "Good Food." We went up to him to talk and see how he was doing. I said "Miguel I need my prosciutto balls during the holidays what am I gonna do?" You see he is working as a cook at "Bagels by the Park." He goes "Oh I will make them for you Jimmy no problem." All my Mexicans friends call me Jimmy for some reason. It must mean stupid white buffoon in Mexican or something. Anyway I go "That's great. Hey can you make them at my house." "Sure Jimmy no problem. Just get me all the stuff and will make as many as you want."

So we got his number and when we get back I will set up to make a shit pot full of prosciutto balls and croquets. It pays to be nice to the people you deal with. I always remember them at Christmas and always say thank you when they help me out. If they go out of their way I throw them a fin for good luck. So they are always ready to help.

Now I am going to learn how to make them my own self.  Preparation for when I have my lunch cart in Maui that will be open for breakfast and lunch and closes at 3pm so I can make the beach.

The plan is working.

Another One Bites the Dust

So I went by Mastellones to see what was up. There are three partners. I saw Nunzio who was one of the cooks. I go "How's it going man?" He's all 'It's going great, justa great Jimmy." Then he runs away to the kitchen.

Vinny the main owner is the bigmouth boisterous guy. He is the one that handles all the business. He is a real asshole. You know. He is just like me. He was meeting with the guy taking over. They were walking around and he didn't even acknowledge me. Fair enough. Business is business.

Then there is James who handle the deli counter and also did a lot of the cooking. I told him I hope this was what he wanted. He said he was going on vacation and when he got back in September he would start looking. He made sure I got my 50% which was a great deal. You see they were selling all of their stuff at 50% off so I got a bunch of non-perishable stuff like soup and olives and household cleaning products.

In just two days it will all go away.

Another one bites the dust.

Another day and another Mom and Pop store closes on Court St.

Mastellone House of Meats is closing this Wednesday. This is where I would go to get cold cuts and meat and all my stuff especially since Good Food closed down. Now I used to do the taxes for them and I knew they were taking a hit from the hipster joint "Union Market" that opened across the street. The young douches in the neighborhood would rather go and pay twice as much then give the old time people their business. The old Italians that had shopped there ever since it was on Columbia St. are almost all gone now so they sold out. I don't know who bought it. They had sold it once before to some Koreans but I don't know if it is going to stay a deli. They own the building so it could be anybody just like Good Food rented it to a bank.

Little by little the scale has turned to make this neighborhood just like Manhattan. It will be all chain stores and banks soon. No more Mom and Pop.

Time to ramp up the exit strategy.