Get me rewrite.....

Well I got a reply about the bio and they sort of butchered it. I think they give this duty to interns because all the muck-y-mucks are too busy so some kid who only writes texts is the one who composes press releases. Here is what they sent to me:

JIM DOLAN – The HUSBAND/BUSINESS PARTNER

Jim Dolan is Lisa’s husband and business partner in Lee Lee’s Valise.  Also born and raised in Carroll Gardens, Jim has never lived more than a mile from where he was born.  Jim spent thirty-five years as an accountant doing the books for all the small businesses in the neighborhood.  And when the shop on the corner of President and Court St. in the neighborhood became available, his dream was to open a bar.  But Lisa had other plans.  And more than anything, Jim wants to Imake Lisa’s dreams come true.  So as he likes to say, instead of getting a bar, he got into women’s clothes.  

In the shop, Jim does the books, handles online sales, and tries to keep Lisa on a budget.  He’s currently figuring out how to expand the business and open a new store, so he can continue to make Lisa’s dreams come true.

I had to give them a gentle correction. I don't think it is such a great idea to start every sentance with "And" or "So" and so I just reworked it as follows:

Jim Dolan is Lisa’s husband and business partner in Lee Lee’s Valise.  Born and raised in Carroll Gardens, Jim has never lived more than a mile from where he was born.  Jim worked for thirty-five years as an accountant doing the books for most of the small businesses in the neighborhood.  When the shop on the corner of President and Court St. became available, he wanted to live his dream  which was to open a bar.  But Lisa had other plans and other dreams and more than anything, Jim wants to make Lisa’s dreams come true.  So instead of getting a bar, he got into women’s clothes. 

Jim does the books, handles online sales, and tries to keep Lisa on a budget.  He’s currently figuring out how to expand the business and open a new store, so he can continue to make Lisa’s dreams come true.

I had to work with what they gave me so I hope they use this instead of giving it to some hipster who will put it into the form of a tweet.

Hey don't get me wrong.....

I didn't mean to complain that business is slow even though it is about 90 degrees out today and nobody is going to show up to shop on Monday when it is so freaking hot out. I really have no cause to complain because when the show comes out I know we are going to do really well and turn it around. If only one in a thousand people buy something online it will leave us sitting pretty with all the sales we can handle.

We are still working hard on the show and will be doing so right up until it airs. We have to do about four more days of "talking head" interviews with onother scheduled for this Wensday. This sucks because we have to close the store and we won't have any sales at all which is really tough in the short term. We just have to put our heads down and grind it out day by day which is all you can do.

TLC called and asked us for bios for publicity so I had to write something up for them. It is an interesting excercise when you have to write up your bio. I would love to read some of yours. Anyhoo this is what I sent:

Jim Dolan was born and raised in Carroll Gardens Brooklyn and has never lived more than a mile from where he was born.  Educated in Catholic schools until college where he attended Pace University in downtown Manhattan, Jim worked for thirty five years as an accountant specializing in small businesses until he started to work in women's clothing. Wait that came out wrong. Until he started working with his wife selling woman's clothing when they opened Lee Lee's Valise on May 5, 2007. He currently serves as the financial  backbone  of Lee Lee's while  handling the bulk of the on-line sales and still selling clothes when Lisa is out at a shoe store.  He also will entertain the husbands and boyfriends of the  shoppers so they do not want to rush home. Instead  they will  get to hang out in "Jim's " corner to enjoy an espresso and some pastry and check out the game while their significant others spend  quality time spending. Basically he does what Lisa says to do since she is the boss of Lee Lee's Valise and he is happy to support her in whatever she decides.