Sunny ...how I love ya....how I love ya

New York DailyNews (May 5,2012)

The Jersey mom accused of toasting her 5-year-old daughter in a tanning booth melted down yesterday, ranting that she’s an excellent mother and the victim of “fat and ugly” critics who are “jealous’’ of her beautiful bronzed body.

The New Jersey Nutjob — surprisingly thin-skinned despite countless hours spent roasting under UV lamps — spent much of the day staggering around her hometown of Nutley, slurring to trailing reporters that she’s a great mom and nobody understands her.

“There’s somebody out there, for my whole life, that doesn’t like me because they are jealous, fat and they’re ugly,” Krentcil told a reporter in a video interview outside her hair salon

"We needed a Juan Carlos Haircut."

The wife loves the haircuts she gets from our friend Juan Carlos who has a salon down in Florida where our daughter lives. So whenever we go down there we rush there to get a haircut. The whole family goes.

She really wanted him to cut her hair for the shoot. When he heard we were ready to shoot he flew up on his own dime to cut our hair. It didn't cost us anything. He is just getting credit in the show.

It seems like you get a lot of free stuff when you have a reality show. I mean look at the kids on "Jersey Shore." You all know what they got for free.

Herpes.

"The Jersey Shore" returns tonight on MTV!

The fifth and most likely last season of "The Jersey Shore" starts tonight on MTV. They are back in Seaside after being in Italy for last season. They rean from filming one season right to the next and they are burned out, wiped out and wasted.
Since the show revolves around fighting and drunken sex it is no wonder that they are exhausted.

I have made a study of reality shows and this one is a prime example of how not to do it. It started out like gangbusters and was extremely popular. But the kids in the show weren't humble and came on like stars every where they went. They cashed out if they didn't spend all the money they made. The fifteen minutes are up. Most people are tired of their antics. So I think this might be the last season. At least with this cast.

PaulieD has already set up a new show of his own. The others will have to look to do the same. But this one seems to have run it's course.

Reality Star to get New Tits!

No, not me. It's Snooki.

It seems that Snooki of "The Jersey Shore" has lost a lot of weight and she isn't as slutty a meatball as she used to be so she needs a boob job to get back to the breast size she is comfortable with.

My man boobs are big enough. Shit they are big enough if they are gonna do a remake of Russ Meyer's Super Vixens.

His 15 minutes is lasting a long time!

MTV has announced that DJPaulie D will have his own spin off series after Jersey Shore is over. He is the first of the knuckleheads to get his own show and who knows it might be a lot better than the original.

Characters often start out in one show and then get their own later and often times it is better and more popular than the original. There is a long list.

"Frazier" was a spin off from "Cheers" and lasted longer and in the end seemed more popular. "The Jeffersons" spun off from "All in the Family" and although it wasn't better or more popular it lasted a long time as a solid top rated show. All of the Law and Order and CSI shows can be called spinoffs of the originals I guess. They are not copies but bring their own unique assets to the point that the stars of the show or the vibe make it more popular and just more fun than the originals. I never watch Law and Order or CSI but I do check out Law and Order SVU and CSI Miami because I prefer the actors and the crazy vibe they have.

So you can prefer a spin off from the original. That's why I think the DJPaulieD show might be good. He spins in Las Vegas and goes on tour with Britney Spears. It might be a lot of fun.

The worst guest starring roles in history?

Ricpic on the Jersey Shore.

Today's gratuitous bathtub photo: the real jersey shore hottub time machine

Do you remember that old commercial that said when you sleep with someone that means it's like you did it with everyone that person ever banged?

Remember that when you buy Snookie a drink. Just sayn'

I don't see why everybody hates reality shows.

Although I will admit the people on it look a lot different when you meet them in real life.

I mean Snooki and JWOW just look a lot different than on MTV. Just sayn'

Hey I am cheering up!

Ritmo sent me the link to this story about the Jersey Shore girls. Here they are in their bikini's. One of them (on the left) is the new girl Dena.

Anyway Jwow is well....wow!

Ritmo said he thought I was Italian but I said I was Irish. You see I am half Irish and half Italian. But I am only Irish when I am morose as I often am this time of year. Normally I am a happy go lucky guinea where the Italian leaks out of me like the grease at the bottom of a bag of zeppoles you get at the feast.

This is from next season that they have just finished filming. What is on TV now is the second season that they did down in Miami.

I find these people endlessly fascinating. It is sort of like the evil blogger lady's comment section.

Only more civil.

Hey time to go back to the Jersey Shore

MTV's hit show "Jersey Shore" starts this Thursday. I have already set the DVR. More fights. More suntans. More hot tub. It's gonna be a wild ride.

Jersey at the Grammy's

"The Situation" and Snooki both made a splash at the Grammy's. It seems they are holding up MTV for $10,000 an episode for next season. And they are all in it together like the cast of Friends did in their first season. Which seems stupid since only Snooki and the Situation are important. The rest of them can be replaced by a bunch of kids from Staten Island.

Remembrance of things Pabst

So last night we were watching Jersey Shore and it was pretty entertaining. I mean those guido’s and guidettes remind me of my cousins from Staten Island and most of the guys I grew up with. The really fun part is that they went on a road trip to my old stomping grounds: Atlantic City.

Back in the day when I was single and fancy free I wasted a lot of money in AC and Vegas. I loved the casino and the lounges where you could relax and have a few drinks and listen the music. What was particularly good for me was that usually I didn’t know anybody so I didn’t have to have meaningless and tedious conversations with the regulars or worse the bartenders. You see I always had the opposite problem of most people who come to a bar. They come in to bore the bartender with their sad story and complaints about what was going on in their life. Now since I usually did the taxes for all the wait staff as well as the owners of the bar they all wanted to talk to me when all I wanted to do was talk to the ladies. I mean they always had an investment or tax question about their problems or their girlfriends or boyfriends or mothers or whatever the fuck. It got to the point where they used to call me the human service area because the bartender would always stand in front of me and hand drinks over my shoulder when it was a full bar. Which sucked because the drunk fucks getting the drink would spill a little on my suit or whatever. So going to AC where nobody knew me was a treat.

Now I don’t drive so after work on a Friday I would go to the Port Authority Bus Terminal and catch the bus to AC. It cost about $15 but they gave you back $12 in coins so you could play the slots. I hated the new hotels. I can’t stand Donald Trump or Steve Wynn. But I loved the old school ones like the Claridge.

The Claridge was actually the only hotel that wasn’t really on the boardwalk. It was on the next street down, Atlantic I think. You had to walk a block or so to get to the boardwalk which was fine with me because the boardwalk was very cheesy just like the one they show on the Jersey Shore show. Lots of t-shirt joints and taffy stands and shit like that. So I usually hung in the Claridge or maybe Caesar’s Palace. I almost always stayed in this small hotel a block away that offered great rates and had a great little coffee shop that was dirt cheap and had great food. It was always packed and the staff was all girls from Ireland who were working off the books. Some of them would later come up toe the city and I would recommend them for jobs at various bars and stuff.

The only bad part about staying off the main drag is that you had to fight your way past the hookers. They were all over those streets and they would accost you all the time. Usually it wasn’t a problem because they were looking for someone in a car but on a slow night or real late at night they could be a pain in the ass. The casinos were pretty good at keeping most of the snaggle tooth ones out. I mean the high class ones were around but they kept a low profile and they left you alone if you left them alone. So to speak.

Anyway after a few weeks I did what I always do. I made friends with one the bartenders, this guido Sal from South Philly. He was working in this little hole in the wall bar in the Claridge called “Sparky’s.” This bar was dedicated to Sparky Lyle the old Yankee relief pitcher and all around psycho. Occasionally Sparky would be there when he was making an appearance for the casino and he had some great stories. There was the time he went up on the roof and tried to throw a baseball into the ocean. All kinds of crazy shit. And I got an autograph or two. Not that I cared but my brother collected them.

Also you might run into a connected guy or two since they favored the Claridge a lot. Since I knew some people from Brooklyn and Sal knew the Philly guys it was easy to steer clear of trouble and have a good time with out stepping on anybody’s toes. Sparkys was really tiny; it was against wall and only had about 13 seats. We called them the lucky 13. That freaked some people out but others loved it. It was usually an interesting mix though and a good place to hang out and kill a few hours.

Anyway one day it was freezing cold for some reason. I was in Caesars Palace playing baccarat and I actually did pretty good for once. So I had to stay there long enough to lose all my money back to them which took a few hours. When I finished about 3 in the morning I decided to walk back to the Claridge for a couple of drinks at Sparky’s before I went to bed. When I went outside it was Artic man. Colder than Hillary Clinton’s heart. I bundled up and bent against the howling wind I slowly trudged my way back to the casino. Thankfully I finally made it and unwrapped myself. I mean I had on hats and scarves and all kinds of stuff. I walked across the casino floor which was easier than usually because it was pretty dead. I walk into Sparky’s and it was packed. That was weird. Every seat was taken except for one bar stool right in the middle of the bar. The 13th seat. So I walk in and sit down. Then I notice it. I look at the left. There were six Spanish prostitutes. They all had fruity drinks and in unison they go “Hola papi how you doing tonight?” Then I looked to the left and there were six black prostitutes drinking Hennessy. They all looked at me and said “How you doing sugar?” or something to that effect. I looked at Sal. He goes “Don’t look at me. It was so cold tonight they let them in to warm up.” I had to laugh. “You know nobody is going to believe this story. It’s the night of the frozen whores.”

You just never know what is gonna happen when you walk into a bar.