If you keep dressing like Charo.....

One of the funnier lines on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. "If you dress like Charo long enough you start to turn into Charo."

I mean what's the problem with that I ask you?

How to get the most popular blog!

Just sayn'

Si El Captain Stubbing es muy grande!

Jes that is why I love to be a guest on the Boat of Love. El Captain Stubbing tiene un mucho grande pistolo, es verdad. Yes as long as that. He told me many stories of his time with the Mary Tyler Moore. That Rhoda, oye what a puta. And Phyllis like it con el perro. Si es verdad. But the strangest stories he used to tell was of his time in the Navy on how you sat, the PT boat. His captain McHale was un hombre muy es strange.

Diamonds are a girls best friend, the next generation.

Breakers Night Club Tampa Florida Spring Training March 16, 2009

Jorge Posada:Hey Jeets what are we doing here? I just played my first game behind the plate and I am kinda tired.
Derek Jeter: I don’t really know but the rook asked that we come here. He said it was for the good of the team. Hey here he comes now. (Joba Camberlin walks into the night club with a woman who is wearing a floppy hat and shades. She is very shapely and seems vaguely familiar).
Jorge Posada: Well rookie what’s the story?
Joba Chamberlin: I am not a rookie anymore Mr. Posada so I thought I would do something to help the team.
Derek Jeter: Who’s your friend?
Joba Chamberlin: That’s what I meant. I know Mr. Rodriquez is feeling bad since he broke up with Miss Madonna and he caught the broken hip from her. So over the winter I met this famous singer at the reservation casino and I invited her to meet Mr. A-Rod. She is a big Yankee fan from way back.
A-Rod: (limps into the nightclub, sees the boys and comes over) Hey what’s so important that you guy insist I come over here.
Joba Chamberlin: I wanted to introduce to someone Mr. A-Rod. I know you like to date famous singers so can I introduce you. (The woman smiles and takes off her glasses and hat) Let me introduce to Charo. Charo this is Mr. A-Rod.
Jorge Posada: What the fuck?
A-Rod: Real funny Jeter. I knew you put him up to this. Fuck you guys. (A-Rod tires to storm out of the nightclub but look ridiculous limping like Chester from Gunsmoke)
Charo: I don’t understand.
Derek Jeter: Don’t worry about that loser baby, I am very very happy to meet you. Let’s have a drink.
Joba Chamberlin: I don’t understand. I thought he loved sixty year old singers.
Derek Jeter: Don’t sweat it rook. You did good. He doesn’t know the good stuff that maricon. I love you Charo. I remember seeing you on the Love Boat when you had that great outfit on. And on the Dean Martin Show. And that time on Merv Griffin. You know you were the first woman I ever rubbed one out to back in Michigan?
Charo: Really Senor Derek. That is so bueno. I love the beisboll. You are the best ball player in America no?
Jorge Posada: Well he likes to tell us that.
Derek Jeter: I don’t think I am the best but I like to think I am a good ball player.
Charo: So am I. I would love to play with your balls. I bet I can get them both in my mouth at the same time.
Derek Jeter: I will see you guys later. Let’s go for a ride my Bonita Chiquita. Cootchie-cootie baby.

Diamonds are a girls best friend

Toot’s Shors Saloon, May 5, 1967
Toots: Hey Joe, great to see you. I haven’t seen you much since Marilyn passed. But man those Mr. Coffee commercials are great.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: Hey there is someone I want you to meet. Xavier is here with his new Chiquita (walks Joe over to a banquet where Xavier Cugat is sitting with his young fiancé Charo) Hey X man, I want you to met Joltin Joe DiMaggio the greatest baseball player there ever was…Joe this is Xavier Cugat the best Latin band leader since Ricky Ricardo went Hollywood….and his fiancé….what’s your name baby?
Charo: (in a breathy sexy voice) Bueno Jose. Me nombre is María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Baeza. But you can all me Charo. Nice to meet chu (She stands up and extends her hand shyly and shakes with Joe)
Joe DiMaggio: (Shakes with Charo and Xavier Cugat who grunts behind his dark glasses as Joe stands awkwardly, putting his hands in his pocket)
Toots: Hey lets siddown and have a couple of pops.
Charo: Bueno. (Charo sits down opposite Joe, and as she does her legs are slightly open. She is not wearing any underwear) Senor Jose I remember when I was a little girl living in a small fishing village in Spain. My old grandfather used to take me out in his boat on the sea and he would often say to me “Think of the great Dimaggio.”
Joe DiMaggio:
Charo: You do not speak very much do you Jose. Neither does my husband but that is because he does not speaka the English the way I do. Es verdard Xavier?
Xavier Cugat:
Joe DiMaggio:
Charo: So Joe you are the greatest ball player in the United States. Muy bueno. I am the best ball player in Espana. Can I play with your balls Joe?
Toots Shor: Blleeaaaahhhh (spits out his drink he’s laughing so hard)
Charo: I bet I can fit both of them in my mouth at the same time.
Joe DiMaggio:
Charo: I like the strong silent type. Cootchie-coothie.