Lee Lee's Valise on What Not to Wear again on Friday Oct 30th at 9pm

Hey check out the season preimeire of TLC's "What Not to Wear" which will once again feature Lee Lee's Valise tonight Friday October 30.

Now they always use a celebrity to kick off the season and this year they used Mindy Cohn from the "Facts of Life."

It is this Friday at 9pm EST on TLC.

Marilyn's Diary

You see I was very lonely living in my Grandpa's house. He was always laying around in his coffin and wasn't any fun at all. He didn't have any time for me as he was trying to hide from the fact he was gay. I mean everyone knew he sucked blood but he tried to keep the rest of it under wraps. Until he couldn't take it anymore and moved to Greenwich Village and marched in all the parades. I was proud of him. Even though he never had time for me.

My cousin Eddie was a little pervert. He was always sneaking around when I was in the bathroom. But not when I was in the shower. Only when I was on the toilet. He was one little freak.

My Aunt Lily loved me but she was living in her own world. You see she had been a movie star and all she did was replay her movies and say stuff like "They had faces then. Green faces but faces still the less."

So you see the only one who had time for me was my Uncle Herman. He loved to help me. He would brush my long blond hair. He would always volunteer to wash my clothes. Especially my unmentionables. And he would always volunteer to wash my back whenever I wanted to take a bath. He was good that way.

Mike and Molly are just like you and me. Well like me anyway.

The wife was interviewed by an Associated Press Reporter about that mess of a post at Marie Claire. Luckily we were able to send written responses so it will be what we really meant. So if there is a wire service story it might be a medium big deal. We shall see what we shall see.

Anyway resemblance to my style of vituperation is merely a conwincidink.

See the wifes take at her blog at Lee Lee's Valise.

Marie Claire better look over her shoulder.

Marilyn's Diary

I was born a Munster. I will die a Munster. It has nothing to with cheese. And everything to do with my family.

You see I was orphaned at a young age when my mother and father died mysteriously on vacation in Eastern Europe. It had something to do with villagers and pitchforks. So at a young age I went to California to live with my Grandfather and my Aunt Lily.

It was a good life. I loved Southern California. I learned to surf. I hung out on the beach with my friends Gigdet and Moondoggie. But there was one problem. My Uncle Herman.

You see he liked to touch me.

Marie Claire hates plus size people almost as much as the blogger lady.

I don't know if you have seen the new CBS sitcom Mike and Molly that is on Monday nights. It is a cute little show about a couple who meet and start dating. The only difference is that they are plus size. Or fat if you want to be nasty as the fuckin' twat at Marie Claire who wrote a nasty piece about it called "Should Fatties Get a Room? (Even on TV)"

This nasty bitch says she is disgusted by seeing what she calls "morbidly obese" people on TV. And her idiot scumbag editor states that she didn't even see the show but was against a show that makes fun of fat people.

Well if she watched the show she would see that is not what they do at all. In fact it is one of the most honest shows about weight you are ever going to see. These two people meet cute at an "Over eaters Anonymous" meeting and circle around each other even though they are obviously interested. They struggle with their weight but are trying to do better even though they slip up from time to time. They don't hate themselves. They don't hate each other. The best way to describe them is that they are normal. Normal people doing normal things. There is slapstick and funny characters from the horny mom and slutty sister to the cop's partner who lives with his grandmother. It is a funny show. Not cruel or nasty in any way. Unlike this piece of shit blogger who should get cunt cancer.

Check out the show. I bet you will like it. Oh and cancel your subscription to Marie Claire. I know we did.

Sometimes they come back.

Yesterday we sort of took the day off and walked around the neighborhood. We stopped at a few stores to say hello and represent. You know how other people come into our store we want to stop by theirs to drop off a few schekels. It's only right.

We went to Barnes and Noble all the way up Court St and decided we were each going to get two books. Only two because we are planning to get kindles because the wife hates the idea that I have so many books lying around in stacks in the house. So we each picked out a couple of things.

The wife got one of her "Shopaholic" books by this broad Sophie Kinsella. She really enjoys her stuff so she also bought another book that was not part of the series.

I managed to snag the latest Robert B. Parker posthumously published Spencer novel called "Painted Ladies." It was a real quick read. I already finished it one day later. It was the standard plot. Spencer gets a case where his client is killed and he has to go against the grain and solve it. But the body count adds up. He kills three people in this book. When you add up all the people he has killed in the various Spencer books you are in Ted Bundy territory. Pretty unbelievable when you think about it but it is just entertaining fiction. You know like Obama' resume.

Anyhoo I enjoyed it but it is sad all the same. Since Mr. Parker has passed away earlier this year, his new books will be few and far between. Not that he will stop. Because with a genre author they always seem to find manuscripts left over that someone else will finish. Everyone from Robert E. Howard to Mickey Spillane to John D. MacDonald to Louis Lamour has someone hooked up with the estate to keep the gravy train rolling. I have no doubt that there are two or three Spencer books, a couple of Jesse Stone novels and one or two Westerns like Appaloosa left in his bibliography yet to come. So I look forward to them. I will buy them. But I wish that whoever picks up his mantle will vary the outline just a little.

But I have my doubts.

God bless the child.

I was brought to this photo on Drudge by a post on the evil blogger lady's site. But I was stuck by how happy it was.

Trig looks like he is having fun. Like he is loved.

Today's Gospel made me think. In it the Pharisee and the tax collector were compared and the judgement was that the exalted would be humbled and the humble would be exalted.

I think we all could be a lot more humble.

Commenter Memories Number 44

The Crack Emcee is like Reggie Jackson.

He gets down with all the dishes.

Oh yeah Baby that's the MACHO RESPONSE.

Mel Gibson Comeback Movies You Don't Want to See.

"Turner and Cootch: I Should Have Fisted a Beaver Instead of Marrying That Russkie Bitch."

Mel Gibson Comeback Movies You Don't Want to See.

The Black Sheep of Hollywood, WTF I AM FROM AUSTRALIA"

The Mel Gibson bio-pic.

Mel Gibson Comeback Movies You Don't Want to See

"Anybody that would bone that Skank Katherine Hepburn is all Fucked Up: The Spencer Tracy Story."

Where Mel does a bio-pic about his real dad, Spencer Tracy.

Mel Gibson Comeback Movies You Don't Want to See.

"Wild Hogs In WW2; Cedarford's birthday party."

Commenter Memories number 43

Hey I might be back posting more often but you have to remember one of the key rules of this blog.

NO POLITICS!!!!!!!!!!!

So when Titus emailed me this photo of his uncle in the Navy I had to tell him I am not going to have a thread about Don't Ask Don't Tell.

You need to go to the evil blogger lady for that.

Whose the Camel Toe?

Well it is not the Scarlet Witch but she belonged to the same group. I just hope she is not fingering that camel toe. So to speak.

Whose that girl?

Commenter Memories Number 42

Our good friend hdhouse made an interesting claim the other day. He said that he had Maureen Dowd's email address and that he corresponded with her. I was a little skeptical but he proved me wrong.

Here is a photo that hd emailed me of Ms. Dowd at a barbecue at his house in the Hamptons. Of course this is how she actually looks and not the publicity photo from the seventies she uses in her New York Times column.

I am sorry I ever doubted you hd.

"Today's gratuitious bathtub photo "Palladian's Hot Tub Time Machine! Part 2""

Hey our good buddy Palladian email this photo of his latest Hot Tub Time Machine Party.

Today it was a cheese tasting.

I think he meant wine and cheese but he just said cheese.

At least when they took the photo.

We are all Texans now!!!

In 1982 I was wearing mostly sports apparel. I wasn’ t a big dress up kind of guy. I mean I had to wear suits to work as I was in this new accounting firm. But on the weekends and at night it was strictly t-shirts and jeans and team jackets. Now this was the time when they just started doing mail order for all of the team apparel and they started marketing the warm-up jackets and jerseys and what not. So I got my Knicks and my Giants and of course my Yankees jackets and t-shirts and what not. But the one thing I didn’t have was a Rangers jacket. So I ordered a lightweight Rangers jacket. The only problem was that the company made a mistake. They sent me a Texas Rangers Jacket instead of the Hockey Rangers. Imagine that.

Now as usual I was too lazy to send it back. I mean it was a great jacket and I could wear it anywhere even in the Stadium. You see nobody hated the Rangers. They were a nondescript team that had never made the playoffs. Formerly the Washington Senators nobody gave a rat’s ass about the Rangers. They were pretty much only famous for Lennie Randle choking the shit out of Frank Luchessi and stuff like that. So nobody cared if you wore a Rangers jacket even in Yankee Stadium.

But then we started to play them in the playoff’s every year. I was at he Dean Palmer game and it was a lot of fun when we beat them every year. I think we beat them about five times in the playoffs.

They were due to win one. I want to congratulate them. They won fair and square. I will root for them in the series. Especially if they play those hippies from San Francisco. And to support my friend W and of course Laura. In fact I bet she might have some diary posts coming up.

So good luck to Texas.

LETS GO RANGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

POTVAN BEATS HIS WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Sounds of Summer are silenced now

In 1978 I first got season tickets to the Yankees. I would go every Sunday as it was a Sunday plan. My brother and I would buy sandwiches and ride the Four Train up to the Stadium. There is nothing like the feeling when the train bursts of the tunnel into the summer sunlight and you get your first view of the Stadium as the train pulls into the stop. As you get out and walk to the stairwell you see the crowd below filing into Stan’s to buy caps and t-shirts or popping into the bar or the bowling alley for a quick beer. The vendors are outside hawking the little souvenir bats and pennants.

You go and get your program and stop off for a hot dog as you walk to your seat. You sit down and look out at the beautiful field laid out in front of you as the players shag fly balls and practice bunting. Suddenly you here that unmistakable sound that means it’s summer:

“BBBBBBEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR HHHHHHHEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEE!!!!!!! GET YOUR ICE COLD BEER. COUSIN BREWSKI IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

You call for a couple and put them under your seat. Soon the scrubs get off the field and the ground crew starts to manicure the field. The “Voice of God” Bob Shepard starts to announce the lineups and you take the little stub of a pencil they give you and you fill out the lineup card in the program. Suddenly there is a flourish on the PA system and the Yankees take the field. They start to toss the pea around the horn until finally they roll it into the dugout. The batter gets in the box. And the umpire looks at pitcher and nods. It’s time.

“PLAY BALL!!!!!!!!!!”

There is no joy in Trooperville!

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Trooperville – the mighty Yankees have struck out.

It ain't over till it's over.

It's looking good but nothing is finalized yet so I can't say anything.

But when it is finally done I will be smoking a cigar like Red Auerbach here after he banged this chick.

Oh and whose that girl?

Keep the Faith!

When we are children we are comforted by the stories that our parents tell us. You know the ones where the hero struggles against overwhelming odds but triumph in the end and everyone lives happily ever after.

But as we grow up we come to realize that good does not always triumph and sometimes Sam doesn’t throw the ring into the Crack of Doom. Bad things happen. Bad people triumph. The Nazi’s take over a country and kill a lot of people. The Red Sox win the World Series. Obama is elected President.

All we can do is hope and pray the good will win out in our little patch in this crazy old world. It looks bad for our boys but I have faith that the Yankees can still pull it out. CC should win his game and with a little luck we can get into their bullpen in the next game to set it all up for a game seven with Andy on the mound vs. Lee. Then we will see what we will see.

If we go down to defeat it will be principally because of Mr. Lee who has pitched superbly and shown that he is worthy of wearing the pinstripes next season. So if he beats us we will offer him the most money so he will be on our team next year. You see that is how capitalism works. You have to spend money to make money. Money talks and bullshit walks. None of this “Lets all make it fair so the little guy can compete” bullshit. That’s crazy talk. That’s commie talk.

Because everyone knows that if you don’t root for the Yankees you are a communist.

Hey watch it sister!

We will be back soon.

In the meantime amuse yourselves.

I used to amuse myself by thinking that this famous actress really went around the set like this.

I had to go to confession a lot.

Whose that girl?

Hey just a quickie

deborah said...
We need more 'whose that girl.'

There you go.

I hope someone other than blake gets it.

But I don't care wuther or not he does. He knows that position because he has the heights.

Just sayn'

Hey just amuse yourself for a little while longer.

Things are looking up and are on track. Good news soon but not until the time is ripe.

So to speak.

My project is going swimmingly!!!!

Things look good but I can't tell you because that would be a jinx.

Keep a good thought.

Be back soon, I promise.

I am busy putting the dresses on the right hangers.

Oh and whose that girl?

Be back soon!

But you know what get's in the way?

Life.

The Cojones Cafe.

Do you have them?