The Tao of Pooh

When thoughts arise, as soon as you sense them heading on the
road of desire, bring them right back onto the road of reason.
Once they arise, notice them, once you notice them, you can change
them.The key is to put them to use where they will do the most good.
Vanilla is still a flavor. Savor it on the road of life.

The Tao of Poo

Filling all the way to the brim
Is not as good as halting in time.
Pounding an edge to sharpness
Will not make it last.
Pounding it hard
Will get you there.

The Tao of Poo

Praise and disgrace cause fear.
Honor and great distress are like the body.

What does it mean that praise and disgrace cause fear?
Praise leads to weakness.
Getting it causes fear, losing it causes fear.
This is why praise and disgrace cause fear.

What does it mean that honor and great distress are like the body?
The reason for great distress is the body.
Without it, what distress could there be?

Therefore:
He who treasures his body as much as the world
Can care for the world.
He who loves his body as much as the world
Can be entrusted with the world.

And thus you need not fear the eye of the Tigger.

The Tao of Poo

“With delicate fingertips, pinch the arched lips of her house of love very slowly together, and kiss them as though you kissed her lower lip: this is Adhara-sphuritam or Pooalingus."

The Tao of Poo

Such passionate actions and amorous gesticulations or movements, which arise on the spur of the moment, and during sexual intercourse, cannot be defined, and are as irregular as dreams. A horse having once attained the fifth degree of motion goes on with blind speed, regardless of pits, ditches, and posts in his way; and in the same manner a loving pair become blind with passion in the heat of congress, and go on with great impetuosity, paying not the least regard to excess. For this reason one who is well acquainted with the science of love (Kamasutra), and knowing his own strength, as also the tenderness, impetuosity, and strength of the young women, should act accordingly. The various modes of enjoyment are not for all times or for all persons, but they should only be used at the proper time. and in the proper countries and places.

The Tao of Poo

What is best in life?  To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

The Tao of Poo

Just remember, when you should grab something, grab it; when you should let go, let go. Give it away freely. Learn to be one with your appetites. Let it go and watch the world pass you by. No one will care. You are an island.

The Tao of Poo

This is the Zen approach: nothing is there to be done. There is nothing to do. One has just to be. Have a rest and be ordinary and be natural. Sit and contemplate the empty peanut butter jar. Eat and rest. Do not toil overmuch. For in the end we all end up the same. Worm food. I think I just farted.